This is the next installment of the book I never published regarding my history with women and the lessons I learned from it. If you haven’t yet, you should read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, and eleven before you read the article below, so you can be up to speed on where the story picks up. Everything below is all 100% true to the best of my memory, journals, and spreadsheet records, though all the names of the people described have been changed.
We last left off ten years ago, in the early winter of 2008, where I’m now in my first MLTR with crazy 18-year-old Selina while still seeing a few other women as FBs…
This is one of my favorite crazy true stories from my dating past. I have wanted to tell this story for a long time and I purposely waited until now to tell it, since it’s now ten years old and therefore old enough to tell. It’s a great example of the crazy, stupid-but-fun shit I was doing back then. It’s a little longer than my usual posts on this blog, but I wanted to be complete.
Selina started introducing me to some of her girlfriends. I started to consider if I should employ some social circle game and have sex with some of these women, considering Selina’s lack of ASD and high sex drive. So, I started encouraging her to introduce me to more of her female friends… and family members.
The first one of note came along when Selina begged me to throw a party at my house with all of her friends. I reluctantly agreed, but told her my one rule would be no men. Not that I was jealous, since I was now at the point where I didn’t care if Selina had sex with other guys as long as she was honest about what she was doing (which she was not). I just knew from experience that when young men get drunk, things get broken. She pleaded with me, begged me, swore that her friends were not like that and would never do such a thing, and that there would only be three guys at the party, all the rest would be women.
Her teenage hotness overcame me, as well as my own desire to meet her girlfriends, so I stupidly relented. A few nights later, there were about 12 people at my house, blasting horrible Top 40 music, dancing, drinking, joking around, getting drunk, and being stupid.
While Selina was dancing with guys in my living room, I was in the kitchen talking to her close friend, a woman I’ll call Emi. She was a young Asian, very short and slight, very dark skin, but (to my surprise) very large boobs and a curvy body. We immediately hit it off and had an enjoyable talk.
Later in the evening, Selina was sitting on my lap while I was in my upstairs office working on my computer. (I didn’t give a shit about the party going on below. I’m an introvert.) Suddenly, we heard a crash downstairs followed by a scream. Selina and I looked at each other for second, then both bolted up and ran downstairs.
Sure enough, just as I had predicted, on my living room floor were two big drunk guys beating the shit out of each other. A few glasses had been smashed in the kitchen and there was blood and booze on the carpet.
These were big bastards too. One big black guy, taller and wider than me, and a shorter but very solid and stocky white dude. Thankfully, I’m also a big guy, and even though both of these guys were easily ten years my younger, I was able to grab and separate them. It was time to eject them from my house.
As I marched them out of the house and into the car (at 3 am in the fucking morning), Selina broke down and cried, knowing how pissed I was going to be once I got back, knowing that her promise to me had been proven to be very wrong.
A half an hour later, I kicked both drunk dumbasses out of my car and onto the raining, dark, city streets. One of them refused to leave my car (because “it was raining”) and I had to threaten him to get him to leave. He could see the hellfire in my eyes. He left.
At around 4 am I arrived back home. All the girls were asleep on my couches and chairs. I noticed all the blood and booze was all cleaned up perfectly. Good, but I was still upset. I went into my bedroom and Selina was there on my bed, reading a magazine, waiting up for me. She apologized over and over again, and wanted to have sex. For the first and probably only time in my entire life, I refused sex from an attractive woman, being as angry as I was, and told her to not talk to me and go to sleep. She moped but obeyed.
A few days later, I found that my camera had been stolen by one of the girls from the party that night. At least, that’s what Selina had told me. Months later I found out that she had stolen my camera. Good times.
The next time I saw Selina, she was still desperate for me to forgive her. I made my move and flat-out told her that I thought Emi was really hot, and that Selina should help me have sex with her. Selina… agreed, and agreed wholeheartedly.
Fuck YES! Dating a hot 18-year-old while dating other women and while the hot 18-year-old helps me have sex with her friends? What an amazing turnaround this was from just a year-and-a-half prior when I was monogamous, married, no-sex beta male!
Lesson Number Twenty-Two
Referral Game is the fastest way to get laid with hot women (besides paying for it). Young, low-ASD women are perfectly willing to help you have sex with their female friends and family members provided you set the proper Alpha 2.0, nonmonogamous, outcome independent frame and EFA for the relationship from the get-go. (Get this book if you want to learn exactly how to do this.)
Within a few days, the three of us (me, Selina, and Emi) were hanging out. We all went to a movie, then went out to dinner, then all went back to my place for a sleep-over.
Later that night, Emi and I were upstairs in my home office, each one of us on our own computers (I had two computers in the office back then), while Selina was downstairs watching TV. As I was showing Emi something on the screen while talking to her, I just moved close to her and kissed her. She responded, and to my amazement, she was the second-best kisser of any woman I had kissed up until that point. It was good.
We both got very excited and I picked up her little body and pulled her down to the floor, kissing passionately all the while. I paused for a minute and touched her face. “Selina is right downstairs,” she said. I said “I know. Lets chill for a bit,” and we stopped. I didn’t want to push it.
Still later that same evening, the three of us were watching movies downstairs, and Selina excused herself to go to bed because she “wasn’t feeling well,” which was just her excuse to give me some time alone with Emi, bless her little heart.
Within a few minutes later, Emi and I were having sex on a blanket on my living room floor. It was fantastic, and I never looked at Asian women quite the same way ever again, since Emi was my first Asian. (Edit/correction: She was actually my second Asian. I forgot about one several months before her. But for some reason, Emi was the Asian girl who caused me to start looking at Asian women differently.)
I set up a bed for her on my couch and tucked her in for the night. “I wanted to do that with you,” she said. I touched her face again and kissed her on the forehead, and went to my bed where Selina was already sleeping…
…or so I thought. The night wasn’t over yet. It had actually just begun.
I thought Selina was asleep, but as soon as I sat on the bed, she popped right up and asked me if I had “fucked Emi.” She had a big smile on her face. I told her yes and she laughed. Then she started asking a bunch of questions about her and Emi compared. Was she tighter? Hotter? Did she make hotter sounds during sex? And so on.
We both laughed and as we talked, I felt a strange pain in my lower back. When I mentioned it and started rubbing my back, Selina made a joke about how I was “old as fuck” and how an “old man like me shouldn’t be surprised he throws his back out while fucking all these younger girls.” I was only 36 at the time, but I understood how old that must feel to an 18-year-old like Selina.
We both went to bed. Strangely, the pain in my back started getting worse. I shifted in the bed to different positions, and nothing seemed to help. Soon, I had to get up to take an aspirin. Selina was already asleep and snoring.
I walked to the kitchen, passing Emi who was sleeping soundly on the couch, and looked for some painkillers. I didn’t have any. I never have any medical problems, so I never have any medicine in my house. Swearing a few times, I threw on my jeans and a T-shirt, got in my car, and drove down to the 24-hour convenience store. It was about 3am.
Walking around the store, the pain in my back was now a sharp, stabbing pain, far worse than it was just a few minutes prior. I purchased the aspirin, and, walking funny as I clutched my stabbing back, got back into my car.
Within seconds of driving home, the pain in my lower back was so intense that I was contorting my body, barely able to clutch the steering wheel. I started breathing in rapid, panicked breaths, like my lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen. What the fuck is happening to me? Am I dying?
I had no idea what was wrong. I had never felt pain like this in my entire life. Even getting my ass kicked in full-contact Karate when I was younger wasn’t this painful.
Confused and scared, I decided to change course and head straight for the hospital. If this pain got any worse, I wouldn’t be able to drive.
Fortunately, the hospital was only a few minutes away. I parked and staggered into the emergency room, barely able to walk. This was officially the worst pain I had ever felt in my life, before or since.
I practically screamed at the receptionist that I was in pain and had no idea why. She saw where I was pressing on my back, and said, “Yep, you probably have a kidney stone.”
“Kidney stone?!?” I screamed, “Old men get those! I’m only 36!”
“Sir,” the nurse said, rolling her eyes at my stupidity, “Everyone gets kidney stones. Teenage girls get kidney stones.”
“Whatever!” I screamed, “Give me drugs!” It was the first time I had ever asked for drugs in my life, medical or otherwise (I don’t do drugs and never have). I was almost falling over.
They put me into a wheelchair, had me sign some paperwork, flopped me onto a hospital bed, and stuck my arm with intravenous painkillers. Within seconds, the pain vanished, and I was high as a kite for the first time in my life.
“Feeling better, Mr. Jones?” the doctor asked.
“Fuuuuuuckkk yyyyyeeaaaaaah,” slurring my speech with my head bobbing up and down like a retard, “Whaaaatssss UUUUUUPPPPP MA BROTHA?” I had never been high before, so with zero resistance, the drugs had knocked me on my ass. I started talking like a black guy for some reason.
The doctor just smiled. Trying to shake myself out of the daze, I asked him if I really had a kidney stone. He said I did, and that I would be on Vicodin for about a week while I waited for the stone to pass.
“Shiiiiiiit man,” I said, still high, “You mean I’m going to wiz out a stone???”
“If you’re lucky,” he replied, “Otherwise if it’s too big, they may have to laser it.”
“They’re gonna laser my cock???”
“Laser your bladder, actually.”
He then asked me if I knew anyone who could drive me home, as I was in no condition to drive. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and it was hard to think. He said that I would feel better in a few minutes, and then to call someone.
He was right. After about 15 minutes I was still feeling weird from the drugs, but I no longer felt high or discombobulated. I then had to figure out who I could call at 3am in the morning to drive me home.
I called a friend of mine. He answered the phone and was willing to help, but then I heard his wife scream something at him, and then he said he couldn’t come. Ah, beta males. I called him a pussy and hung up the phone. Realizing that I might have this same problem with everyone I called, I decided against my better judgment to call my parents.
I did so and my dad answered. I explained the situation and he agreed to come get me. I told him to not tell mom, since mom is emotional and I didn’t want to deal with her freaking out at her son being in the hospital. He promised he wouldn’t.
A little while later, I frowned as my terrified mother walked into my hospital room, followed by my dad who just gave me a sheepish shrug. Ah, beta males.
After spending a few minutes calming my mother down and assuring her everything was okay, my dad drove my car home and my mom drove me home with her own car. During the drive, my mom said she wanted to make me some soup and tuck me in. My mom is very kind and doesn’t understand that 36 year-old sons don’t need soup nor tuck-in service at night. I started to argue with her but didn’t have the energy. It was around 4am and the drugs made me feel like complete shit. I doubled-down on my decision to never do drugs. This felt horrible.
Then something deep in my brain reminded me of tonight’s odd scenario. I had two 18-year-old girls in my house. Uh oh.
I turned to my mom and explained that she couldn’t come into the house. She was offended and asked why. I sighed deeply and said that I had, um, some “guests” over. By now, my parents were vaguely aware of my new lifestyle and she knew what “guest” meant.
“Guests?” she asked in horror, “Plural?”
“Yes,” I groaned.
She shuddered. She was a traditional, Catholic, ex-nun and was not happy at my lifestyle at all. But I was in no mood to argue and she didn’t push it.
Once again, something in my haze reminded me of something important. Emi was leaving for California the next day to visit friends, and I had promised to drive her to the airport. I couldn’t drive now; the doctor said I shouldn’t even attempt to drive for at least 24 hours. I felt so terrible that the advice made sense.
Barely thinking, I turned to my mom and asked her if she would drive me and my “two guests” to the airport tomorrow at 10am. Amazingly and hilariously, she agreed. Again, my mom is very sweet despite her traditional Societal Programming. I had no idea how I would explain this to the girls, but I was too tired and dazed to care.
My parents dropped me off and left, and I staggered into bed. Selina sleepily rolled over and asked me what the fuck was going on and where I went. I told her to shut up and go to sleep. She snorted but did so. I finally went to sleep myself.
I woke up the next morning feeling absolutely terrible. The Vicodin made me slow, dizzy, and tired. It was such a horrible feeling I would have almost preferred the pain. I thought, People actually take Vicodin for fun? Jesus.
Looking and feeling like a zombie, I sat both girls down and explained to them the situation, that I couldn’t drive, and that my mother, of all people, was arriving at 10am to take us all to the airport so Emi could catch her plane.
Selina smiled big. She was finally going to meet my mom!
Emi looked terrified.
“And by the way,” I said to them, angry and irritated, “I don’t want any funny business out of either of you. My mom is not like me. She’s a sweet old lady and you need to be nice. Nothing crazy.”
“Does your mom know you like to fuck little girls, Daddy?” Selina asked with a big smile.
“Now god dammit!” I yelled, “That’s exactly the kind of shit I’m talking about. As soon as my mom gets here, you stow that crap. You’ll give my fuckin’ mom a heart attack.”
(If this sounds like Alpha Male 1.0 behavior, you’re correct. Remember, this was 10 years ago. My transformation to Alpha Male 2.0 wasn’t yet complete.)
“Oh my god,” Emi said, shaking, “This is so awkward! This is your mom! She’s going to know we had sex!”
Selina started laughing hysterically.
“It’ll be fine,” I said, rubbing my head, a headache coming on, “You two go get ready while I go upstairs and kill myself.” A terrified Emi and an ecstatic Selina marched off to the bathroom while I went upstairs to my home office to sit and stare at a wall.
My mom arrived at 10am as promised. Her jaw dropped open as two foofy 18-year-old girls with big boobs dressed in skirts and heels emerged from my house, followed by me, dressed in sweats and looking like death.
“I’m going to sit up front with your mom!” Selina said happily, “We’re going to talk about you!”
“Just get in the fucking car,” I grunted.
Emi said nothing, just stared with wide eyes, horrified at the entire situation.
Emi and I sat in the back of my mom’s SUV while Selina sat up front with my mom. Selina, being an extreme extrovert, immediately started talking to my mom. My mom, also a huge extrovert, responded in kind and the two of them started chittering like chatterboxes while I sat there feeling like absolute shit and while Emi sat there with a terrified look on her face.
Selina kept pushing the envelope the entire time. My mom would say something like, “Caleb is such a good boy,” and Selina would say, “Oh yeah. He is good,” then sexily bite her tongue and look at me. I would just glare back at her, and Emi would look at one of us, then the other, wide-eyed.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we made it to the airport and Emi left to catch her flight. My mom drove Selina and I back home, and I spent the next week in pure zombie hell until my kidney stone finally passed.
They didn’t have to laser my cock after all.
More to come. The crazy shit was just getting started…