first date advice, first online date, online dating advice, meaning of an open relationship, alpha male traits

This is the fifth installment of the book that I never published, regarding my history with women and the lessons I learned from it. If you haven’t yet, you should read parts one, two, three, and four before you read the article below, so you can be up to speed on where the story picks up. Everything below is all 100% true to the best of my memory, though all the names of the people described have been changed.

We last left off in mid-2007. I was freshly divorced and excited to finally be free, but was struggling to understand women and stumbling around trying to get good at dating them…

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Summer, 2007

As if Melody wasn’t enough to introduce me to the world of illogical gold-diggers, I was soon onto an even harsher one. The very next woman I met after Melody was Tina, one of the most extreme gold-diggers I have ever encountered, and my very first time going out on a date with a perfect 10.

We met on Match.com. She was 25 years old and looked just like Barbie. Beautiful face, long, platinum blonde hair, fitness instructor-quality body, big-but-not-too-big, teardrop-shaped fake breasts, unusual but attractive grey eyes. She was dressed in skin-tight Bebe clothing, had a Prada bag on her arm, and drove a Mercedes that had built in GPS, which back in 2007 was unusual and expensive.

Just by the above description, some of you more experienced guys can already tell where this is going.

I had never seen a perfect 10 this up close before in real life. When she first sat down across from me, I had to fight back a visceral, physical reaction to what I saw. Even better, as she started to speak, it was very clear she was smart, highly educated, and had a high income; she was a regional manager for a national woman’s clothing store. Still very inexperienced with women after my recent divorce, to say I was impressed and excited was an understatement.

Our first date was great and we hit it off. I had to fight hard to maintain my confident, don’t-give-a-shit demeanor that I knew was critical, particularly for attractive women like this. I couldn’t believe my luck that such a woman was sitting across from me, and liking me. Yet, it wasn’t luck; it was a result of me putting in the numbers, opening tons of women online, and going on lots of first dates. Practice makes perfect, and he who puts in the most numbers wins.

I honestly don’t remember much detail from the first date (it was ten years ago!), only that we talked and got along very well. She had moved up to Portland from Salt Lake City, where she divorced her very religious husband because he was cheating on her with his receptionist (ah, monogamy).

Unlike most states these days, Utah was not a “no fault” divorce state, so she hired a private investigator to follow her husband, got a bunch of incriminating photos, presented them in divorce court, and got a huge pile of money from the deluded, Disney bastard (who did not sign a prenup of course) when the dust had settled. She then moved to Portland to start a new life.

When texting a day or two later to hit her up for a second date, I was very surprised that she said yes. Just like with Alex, ten years of monogamous marriage had brainwashed me into thinking I wasn’t attractive to women, though slowly but surely I was “remembering” that some women actually liked me, even very attractive ones.

The second date was at a seafood restaurant where we ate lunch. Going out on a lunch date is a horrible mistake with a woman you haven’t had sex with at least twice, but I didn’t know this yet.

This time, she was more relaxed and comfortable with me. After about 30 minutes of talking, it all came out. Here are a few things she said.

“I’m an expensive gal. Men need to understand that.”

“I don’t do prenups!” (stated with an angry snort)

“The women who spend $2000 a year at Bebe and think they’re spending a lot of money! Pssh! Try $15,000, Sweetie.”

“Coach bags? Um, no. Please. Gross. I only wear Prada.”

“My last boyfriend gave me a birthday present and it was only $300. Ugh! How rude. He had a seven car garage, and he can only spend $300? Yeah, right.”

I stood there utterly fascinated as these insane things tumbled out of her mouth. I had never seen anything like it (though I would again, many times). Melody had been a stealthy gold-digger, and denied what she was. Tina, on the other hand, proudly flaunted gold-digger status like it was something she was proud of, a badge of honor for all to see.

Frankly, I found it reasonably logical once I thought about it. She could get any man she wanted, including beta multimillionaires much older than her (and she had, many times). She was open and honest about who and what she was. Hey, why not? If I was a 25 year-old female 10, I’d probably do something similar.

Under normal conditions, I would have moved on. But she was so…hot! I thought I had the skill to actually have sex with her over a prolonged period of time without spending too much money on her. (I was wrong; I did not yet have this skill, though I would acquire it later.)

Yet, it was not to be. At the end of our second date, we made out in the parking lot, the heavens parted and the doves sang, and I never saw her again. She hooked up with another guy and soon transferred to a far away city. Oh well; I had dodged a bullet. I’m not sure what would have happened if we had actually hooked up, but it would not have ended well.

Jenae

Around this same time, I was still working with the client company where I met Marci (who had been fired from there). Her replacement was Jenae, a very fit 40 year-old who looked just like a younger Susan Sarandon, but without the bug eyes. She exercised often and was very trim and fit. One day at work, Jenae and I talked in her office, the very same office that used to belong to Marci where she and I used to flirt. It was one of those talks where she didn’t want me to leave… she just wanted me to keep talking to her. Always a good sign. I got her to meet up with me at a local park to “talk” some more.

I have a hard and fast rule that I have followed all of my life, and that is to never have sex with anyone I work with. In Jenae’s case, she was very dissatisfied with her job, was job hunting, and planned to quit regardless of what happened within 30 days. I figured by the time she and I actually had sex (since I was averaging three or four dates before sex occurred back then), she would have quit the job by then, thereby not violating my “work together” rule.

Almost every time I see two people who work together date, it leads to workplace drama. During the relationship, but more importantly after the relationship when there’s a big breakup, all that drama and bullshit goes right into the workplace to screw up your work (and those of your co-workers). It might be fun to work with someone you’re fucking while everything is great between the two of you, but that’s temporary. After there’s a breakup and she now hates you, you still have to work with her. People don’t understand that.

Lesson Number Eight

Never date or have sex with people you work with, period.

What you can do is get her phone number, contact info, Facebook info, or whatever, then when you or her leave the job, hit her up. That’s exactly how I hooked up with Athena and Marci. In both cases, I met them at work, but the sexual/dating relationship didn’t start until after we were no longer working together.

Talking to Jenae at the park that day, I learned that she only had sex with one man in her entire life(!), that being her ex husband, and that was six years ago(!). She was a hardcore Christian, so much of this made sense. She actually quoted the Bible several times.

My favorite moment came when I found out that because she already had two grown children, she had her tubes tied. Music to my ears! It had been literally almost 10 years since I had actually cum inside a woman. After years of being married to Lacy and having to use condoms for birth control, and after having sex with women like Marci for months since the divorce, always having to worry about condoms and/or pulling out, the thought of cumming inside a woman again was so exciting and wonderful; it stirred a great, biological drive within me.

Regardless, Jenae would be very difficult and I knew it. I knew the odds of actually having sex with her were low, but I thought I was confident enough at this point in my evolution to maybe pull it off.

We ended up meeting three more times (kill me). All four “dates” were things like walking in the park, walking around the lake, talking, and things like that. No “date” stuff. We talked about relationships and sex (a key technique I would later integrate into my dating system), as well as marriage and divorce. She talked about all the other men who would hit on her. She talked about how when she was married, she wanted sex three times a week, which her husband wouldn’t give to her, and how painful that was. (Yeah, tell me about it!) It was enjoyable and I really liked her.

I did not try to kiss her or get sexual in any way during this time. I knew that would likely scare her off, though having four dates with no sex was difficult.

On our fourth get-together, she dressed up. She wore a pretty dress. As we walked around the lake, knowing it was now date number four and way past time to get to the sexy stuff, I finally pulled the trigger. I said something like, “We should relax tonight. We can go back to your place or go back to my place, whatever.” She said “Whatever.” Good answer! I didn’t waste any time. “Let’s go back to my place then. We can watch a movie or something.” She said “Okay.”

I smiled and walked her to my car, trying not to fist pump in the air.

Though I had forgotten it then, I learned a few times prior that in a dating situation, a woman already knows she’s going to have sex with you before the date even begins. She was already planning to get sexual with me that night, or at least was open to the strong possibility. That was the reason for the sudden nonchalant attitude about coming back to my place (something she never would have agreed too prior) and the nice dress.

I was still living in the apartment back then, still waiting on my divorce (the legal part of ended up taking two full years, just as I had anticipated). We got back to my place, and I sat in my office chair in the middle of the makeshift home office where the living room was supposed to be. She sat across from me in my recliner chair. We talked for a bit, and then I remembered how uselessly long I waited to sexually escalate with Marci. Determined not to make the same mistake, after talking for a little while, I walked over to Jenae and just kissed her.

I was reasonably confident she would welcome the kiss, and I was correct. She liked it. I expected the kiss to be terrible; she was six years out of practice after all. To my surprise, it was very nice. My high sex drive started raging as usual, and I was really turned on. She was so cute in that little dress, with her eager eyes and tight little body. I slowly lifted her off the chair and walked her into my bedroom. I expected resistance, but instead, she started leading me. Interesting!

My eyes shot out in amazement when before I even got to my bed, she whipped off her own dress in one quick motion, with no prompting from me, and stood there naked before me. God must love me. Clearly she had given this a lot of thought and was more than ready.

We had sex, and I’ll go light on the R-rated details. She was very tight and bled a little. I had to be gentle, which is always difficult for me. And yes, for the first time in almost 10 years, I came inside. Most of you have no idea what that feels like; to wait 10 years to orgasm with a woman the way nature intended. It’s beyond what words can describe.

One the way back to her place to drop her off, I told her that she honored me by allowing me to be her first man after six years. She gave me a big hug. It was very nice.

We kept seeing each other for the next several months. Remembering how verbalizing everything with Marci didn’t work out, this time I made sure to keep my mouth shut, and didn’t say anything about “our relationship,” whether or not we could date or sleep with other people, or anything else regarding the rules or parameters of the “relationship.” We just spent time together, enjoyed each other’s company, and had lots of sex. It was a great time, my first ongoing relationship of any real length since my divorce.

I kept on with my online dating during all of this, of course. No monogamy for me! During that time, I met several other interesting women, and it was interesting to watch how the relationship with Jenae played out… little did I know that she was my first provider hunter, and I would have to learn how to manage that.

I’ll talk about all of that in the next chapter.

13 Comments on “The Story of My History with Women – Part 5 – Gold-Diggers and Provider Hunters

  1. I think that the most important thing to be gleaned from this article is to treat hot women as you would normal women and don’t be afraid of their sexual desires.  Adopting a calm body language and demeanor around women while not being an complete douche and accepting their sexuality honestly surprises a lot of women.  I owe much of much success with women to treating them like normal people no matter who they are, and not seeing them as “cheap” if they want to have sex with someone on the first date.

  2. @anon1

    Very important indeed. They’re so used to men going nuts for their stunning beauty that you can stand out simply by not reacting to her looks. Turning up the asshole factor as well and going for a serious chase frame works wonders, too. Keep that spirit until she’s clearly confident that you’re not a chump, then turn the asshole factor down and provide comfort. It has worked wonders for me many times, and it usually creates long-lasting MLTR relationships.
    Keep on watch for ONEitis though, and get completely rid of your jealousy before making a perfect 10 (Hell, even HB8’s or HB9’s) your MLTR, because they have an endless row of chumps ready to take your place.

  3. The second date was at a seafood restaurant where we ate lunch. Going out on a lunch date is a horrible mistake with a woman you haven’t had sex with at least twice, but I didn’t know this yet.

    I suppose its a matter of location, but I’ve encountered the opposite. But then again my food dates aren’t too costly, $30 at most. If its a fancy place that BD is talking about, yeah that’s not happening with any chick ever. $50 is the most I’ll spend on a food date.

    But most of the chicks I’ve gone out with, we’ll go on a food date then either Netflix and fuck at either my place or hers on the second meeting (usually hers).

    Either way this was a fun read. Part of me is glad that my mom ran out on my dad before high school. I’ve been able to detect gold diggers pretty easily because of that, even if my dad SP’d it into my head that all chicks were gold diggers. lol

  4. I went back and read all the previous history posts up to and including this one. I totally agree with the part about how you noticed the three things: bitter women over 30, married men complaining and miserable about little or no sex and marriage/ woman drama, and men with girlfriends having lots of drama. That has been my experience as well. The Melody logic was bizarre and crazy to me. I could not understand it! Your right though, women do not make decisions about men and sex on logic but have illogical rules based on emotions. I see it all the time with women I know and it drives me crazy.
    I think part of the problem is the BS girls are raised with that marriage and monogamy is the only option and it is perfect and happily ever after. That is the midset I was raised with as a little girl. Marriage was the only option to happiness, period. Non monogamy was not an option and never discussed back then by anyone I knew. I have not even heard of it until the last couple of years.
    Looking back though, I always wondered…if marriage and monogamy is so great why do people make jokes about how bad marriage is for men when people get married, why are many older long married people seem miserable and fight with each other all the time, why is cheating secrectly accepted for men (expecially powerful and wealthy ones). I think it is obvious that marriage and monogamy is not all society says it is and really does not work… however, society does not seem ready to accept the truth. It is easier to hold onto decades of SP and pretend while the obvious signs that it does not work stares them in the face.

  5. Adopting a calm body language and demeanor around women while not being an complete douche and accepting their sexuality honestly surprises a lot of women.

    Correct. And the hotter the women are, the more effective it is.

    I suppose its a matter of location, but I’ve encountered the opposite. But then again my food dates aren’t too costly, $30 at most. If its a fancy place that BD is talking about, yeah that’s not happening with any chick ever. $50 is the most I’ll spend on a food date.

    But most of the chicks I’ve gone out with, we’ll go on a food date then either Netflix and fuck at either my place or hers on the second meeting (usually hers).

    Track the next 10 times you buy a woman food pre-sex, regarding A) if you got laid and B) how long it took. Then do another 10 times without buying them anything except a single bottle of juice or a single drink on the first date/meet. I think you’ll see the second method works more often.

    Anything can work. The question is A) how reliably it works with a large sample size of women and B) how scaleable it is. (Can you afford four $30-50 first dates per week? Even if you can, do you really want to?)

    Looking back though, I always wondered…if marriage and monogamy is so great why do people make jokes about how bad marriage is for men when people get married, why are many older long married people seem miserable and fight with each other all the time, why is cheating secrectly accepted for men (expecially powerful and wealthy ones).

    Yup. Long-term monogamy is one of society’s big lies. We all know it doesn’t work, but we’re supposed to pretend it does.

  6. Track the next 10 times you buy a woman food pre-sex, regarding A) if you got laid and B) how long it took.

    Let me see…
    I randomly buy food on dates with chicks but usually don’t. I say random because I’ll buy food if I’m hungry and she’s welcome to order something small as well. I only ever order food with a chick when I’m at a bar and in the context of a date. I have had chicks ask me if I’m going to order something and I almost always answer ‘no’ and they’ll proceed to order themselves something. And pay for it themselves.

    Regardless I might need to stop. I did end up fucking the (only) 2 chicks I went on an explicit dinner date with, within 5 hours of meeting them…but the random food purchases don’t seem to increase or decrease my odds at all, so I’m just wasting money for no benefit. And the explicit dinner dates are just more expensive and time consuming than getting a drink so not worth the time or money. Plus you (I’d imagine) run the risk of getting stuck with a chick that you don’t want to be with for a few hours instead of 30 minutes(to be polite)

  7. I was laughing when you said you was trying to avoid fist pumping after she fully cooperated with your request lol. When did you finally come across realizing that a women knows theres a high probability of sex before date begins? So she knows if she willing to go back to your place or hers before date even for 1st date? Cause 2nd date offer is usually to meet directly at yours or or her private house/room. Seems like 1st date is to mainly fight off womens asd in most cases.

  8. When did you finally come across realizing that a women knows theres a high probability of sex before date begins?

    That’s a good question; I don’t remember. Likely it was in 2008, a year after the above events occured.

    So she knows if she willing to go back to your place or hers before date even for 1st date?

    No, not if she’s ever met you before. Only if she has. So only before the first date if she’s already met you in person through some other means (social circle game, etc).

    Cause 2nd date offer is usually to meet directly at yours or or her private house/room. Seems like 1st date is to mainly fight off womens asd in most cases.

    Correct. ASD and fear, and to be fair, she needs to see you / meet you to see if she would have sex with you or not.

    But yes, if women had no ASD, we’d all be having sex within 5-15 minutes on the first date. (What a wonderful world that would be.)

  9. Thanks for sharing some of your stories!  I’ve not run into many true gold diggers in my day but oh have I dealt with many a provider hunter.  Seems less prevalent now since I try to avoid girls around 30ish.  Looking forward to the next installment!

  10. Little did I know that ASD and woman logic

    She came back with, “Why? Sex?” My response was something like, “Well, you said it, not me.” (Not a good response.) She replied, “That’s just too planned. I’ll pass then.”

    (quoted from part-4)

    But yes, if women had no ASD, we’d all be having sex within 5-15 minutes on the first date. (What a wonderful world that would be.)

    This ASD BS has to stop.

    Women have different priorities, they are more selective of prospective partners.

    They need to be romanticised, see that you are successful, and that you can take care of them.

    Some women have a skewed view and only think in terms of money (gold diggers).

    But as Melody stated: Well, you haven’t been romantic enough.

    I tried a few more times to get her clothes off. She wouldn’t have it.

    Well, I don’t know the exact circumstances. But you can’t go to hard, women will think that you only want sex, you need to be tricky – make them think “it just happened”.

    Sure you will get girls that are after free dinners, or even entertainment.

    They use men, several for dinners, others for entertainment.

    And you can get with them by being Alpha and not splurging on a massive amount of dinners/expensive activities. But on the other hand you don’t want to come across as a cheapskate, or that you don’t really value them. And lets face it, anyone following your system to the T, it going to be categorising every woman as a FB and no more. WOMEN WILL PICK UP ON THAT.

    It’s difficult to bed these women with higher expectations/standards.

    Some even have perhaps some issues, as was the case with Jenae; religious, no sex for ages and bad breakup. And you did date for a bit too long, but it might have been required for her.

    I think with a better game you could have bedded her quite quickly, 3-4 dates, keeping in mind all of her issues.

    I bet if you owned an adventure park – and it cost you NOTHING to entertain  a women with it.

    Then you would approve. Many women would be happy to pay for half the date these days on the third date, for some thing fun/adventurous.

    There could be other ways to impress them, flash car, flash house.

    I know that this will appeal to gold diggers, and you’d have to be cautious. But it is a way to excite them (you’re successful), and costs no money – unless you have to buy a ferrari/holiday home in Hawaii.

    You could be a bit deceptive, later on: “I sold the holiday home, it had some issues, and I got a good sale.” Going to put the money towards travelling” – still keeping successful frame.

     

     

  11. Women have different priorities, they are more selective of prospective partners.

    They need to be romanticised, see that you are successful, and that you can take care of them.

    I have fucked scores of women within 4 hours or less with without doing any of this.

    Roger, as I already said to you last time, you’re posting at the wrong blog. You only do monogamy, you have no problem waiting 5+ dates to have sex with a girl, etc, which means I’m not interested in your opinions on these topics; you live in a completely different world than me and most of the other regular readers here.

    You’re welcome to keep posting here (though I’m not sure why you want to) but I will be ignoring all of your future comments. Thanks.

  12. Traditional Disney garbage detected! Initiating red pill countermeasures now:

    This ASD BS has to stop.

    No! Your Disney trash has to stop. This isn’t a mainstream blue pill site!

    Women have different priorities, they are more selective of prospective partners.

    Some are. Some aren’t.

    They need to be romanticised,

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, you are REALLY on the wrong site! Seriously, just get out of here with your beta bullshit before you embarrass yourself further!

    see that you are successful,

    Gold digging trash! That’s all you spewed here. Gold digging trash! If a woman needs to “see that I’m successful,” in order to fuck me, she’s worth less than pig vomit.

    What kind of 1950s woman are you?

    and that you can take care of them.

    What? Taking care of another adult? You know what, this is definitely trolling. You can’t be this chivalrous in 2017. Those female supremacist days are long over. Sorry to break the news. Are you over 33 by chance?

    But good luck finding your old fashioned Disney Prince Charming!

    Some women have a skewed view and only think in terms of money (gold diggers).

    Which you are encouraging.

    But as Melody stated: Well, you haven’t been romantic enough.

    Translation: You haven’t shown me that you’re a Disney-minded beta! Why should BD put up with gold digging whores like her when there are so many younger women who don’t require Disney slavery from their men and can take care of themselves like proper adults?

    Well, I don’t know the exact circumstances. But you can’t go to hard, women will think that you only want sex,

    And what’s wrong with only wanting sex? Seriously, everything you say screams 1950S DISNEY MOVIE! Can you be any more mainstream?

    you need to be tricky – make them think “it just happened”.

    How many men have you fucked under those conditions?

    And you can get with them by being Alpha and not splurging on a massive amount of dinners/expensive activities. But on the other hand you don’t want to come across as a cheapskate,

    YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WANTS FREE SHIT FROM MEN! THE ONLY CHEAPSKATE HERE IS YOU!

    or that you don’t really value them.

    Value them? What female language is this? You don’t show value with materialistic resources. I have no interest in prostitutes or Disney whores!

    And lets face it, anyone following your system to the T, it going to be categorising every woman as a FB and no more. WOMEN WILL PICK UP ON THAT.

    I love how you said, “let’s face it,” as if we’re hiding it. We want women to pick up on that! At first, that’s all they’ll be! And we want them to pick up on that as fast as possible!

    And if you’d leave your 1950s bubble, you’d see that many women today (who are way younger than you) want that as well! Did I just blow your mind! Red pill women actually want men as fuck buddies! Shocking, isn’t it?

    It’s difficult to bed these women with higher expectations/standards.

    Now you’re being a prude apologist as usual. Is your favorite movie The Little Mermaid?

    I bet if you owned an adventure park – and it cost you NOTHING to entertain  a women with it.

    That would only attract gold diggers and blue pill women.

    Then you would approve.

    No, I wouldn’t. That’s why when I’m on the dating sites, I put my occupation as “janitor’s assistant” or I describe myself as that guy outside KFC in a chicken costume handing out free coupons to pedestrians. That’s the only lie I tell. But it’s necessary to screen out old fashioned women like you.

    There could be other ways to impress them,

    Impress them? Honey, YOU have to impress ME! And you’re not doing a very good job, Miss Traditional!

    flash car, flash house.

    More gold digger garbage! Do you actually believe us alphas will be fooled by your 50s crap?

    I know that this will appeal to gold diggers, and you’d have to be cautious. But it is a way to excite them (you’re successful),

    A woman should be successful herself. If she cares whether or not I’m successful, that makes her a bum!

    You could be a bit deceptive, later on: “I sold the holiday home, it had some issues, and I got a good sale.” Going to put the money towards travelling” – still keeping successful frame.

    Trying to attract women with money/success is the soul of beta male game! Nice try attempting to get us to swallow the blue pill, but we’re found a better way!

    Chivalry is dead. Female supremacy is dead! Men being women’s worker bees is dead. If you’re looking for your perfect men, I recommend the local nursing home! Or maybe you can just get a job and support yourself! LMAO!

     

     

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