What Being Independent Really Means – Part 2
In the last part of this post, I laid out the three aspects of being independent, or at least as much as possible in today’s modern world. They are:
1. Independence from government interference.
2. Financial independence.
3. Sexual independence.
I discussed independence from government in part one. Today I’ll discuss financial and sexual independence.
The terms get a little tricky here so I have to qualify my definitions. Usually the term “financial independence” means you have so much money saved in rock-solid investments that you can actually live a nice lifestyle using nothing but the interest on this money forever without actually touching the money itself. It means you’re literally set for life (barring some kind of unusual economic catastrophe). You can just sit back and do whatever the hell you want, live a great life, and never have to ever work again unless you choose to.
This is true financial independence, and every man reading these words should have a goal to reach financial independence at some point in his working lifetime. And the sooner the better. Otherwise, in your old age (or if you get physically injured) you’re going to have to rely on family or government to pay your bills. Yuck. As we discussed in part one, this is dependence, not independence.
Even if you have not reached the point of true financial independence, you can still structure your life to be as financially independent as possible. Here are the ways you can do this, again using myself as an example like last time.
1. Own your own business. As long as you structure your business correctly, you will have far more independence than being an employee.
I’ll stop here and address something I know you’re thinking…isn’t owning your own business more risky than being an employee? Prior to the 1990s, it was. But now we live in a new era, and new economy. Since the mid-1990s we now live in a strange new world were those men who run small, maneuverable business have more independence and security than those men who rely on 8-5 corporate salaried jobs.
I’ve been completely self-employed for 19 years. In that time I’ve seen a lot of buddies of mine get hammered by economic downturns, while I in my self-employed state was able to survive with minimal damage. As a maneuverable entrepreneur, I survived the big recessions of 2001 and 2008 and I’m doing great today, whereas a lot of 8-5 salaried-job guys I know lost their homes, cars, and/or retirement savings.
2. Own multiple small businesses in different industries. I not only have my own business, but three businesses, all three of which make me good monthly income, in completely different industries, selling to completely different markets, using completely different marketing techniques. That way, if there is any downturn in one industry or market and one of my businesses goes under, instead of losing my livelihood and freaking out, I just lose a percentage of my income. I’m a little pissed, but I’m still just fine. With my freed-up time, I build up the other two business or start a third one. No problem.
If you have three businesses all of which are making you a near-equivalent amount of money, you have a ridiculous level of independence. And security. I discuss how to do this in detail in my book.
3. Stay out of debt. The more debt you have, the less independent you are. Other than oneitis, debt is the single greatest destroyer of men in the modern age. Whenever you borrow money for any reason whatsoever (other than to purchase real estate) you’re taking a sledgehammer to your future freedom and happiness.
Stop borrowing money. If you’re in debt now, cut back on your expenses, stop investing or saving, and put 100% of your extra income into paying off your debt until you’re debt free. You have no idea how wonderful and powerful you feel when you have no debt whatsoever.
4. Save and/or invest your money with the goal of true financial independence someday. Whip up a spreadsheet, see how much money you’ll need to live per month, figure out the interest or payments from investments this requires, make a plan, and get it done. Pay off all your debts first, but then start dumping as much money you can into long-term savings.
These days I save around 40% of my income, and I consider that too LOW. If you’re low-income and are really strapped, make yourself save 5% of your income every month. It’s hard, I know. I’ve been poor, and I know how painful this can be. Do it anyway. Then set a goal to get that 5% to 7%, then 10%, then 15%. Then keep going. Independence is not possible without a strong amount of money in savings and/or investments.
Being in a state of dependence when you’re an old man will not make you happy. It will suck ass. Having a great time while you’re in your 20s or 30s but being a dependent, financially strapped old bastard in your 60s or 70s, begging your kids to help you or stressing out about your tiny government social security check is a FUCKING FAIL. Don’t do it. So much about the Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle is about honoring your future happiness. Your future self deserves to be happy. Don’t fuck that guy by not saving now.
Now let’s talk about sex.
Unlike financial independence, the definition of sexual independence is very simple and very specific. It means you can have sex with whomever you want (as long as she’s legal and it’s mutually consensual), whenever you want, as often as you want, any way you want, without having to hide it from anyone or get permission from anyone.
I really don’t need to get into detail about sexual independence because that’s pretty much what this entire blog is about. It’s even in the tagline (Love women while staying free). Damn near everything I talk about here revolves around the concept that you as a man will be happier if you have the least amount of restrictions on your sex life as realistically possible.
This means, of course, that you cannot be monogamous and be sexually independent. It’s literally impossible. To this day I still occasionally get defensive, monogamous, married guys or girlfriend-guys who try to explain to me that they’re still “free” and can “do whatever they want.” It makes me laugh. No you can’t, dude.
True, a guy could cheat on his “monogamous” wife/GF, but then he has to spend all kinds of time, effort, and emotional energy into A) hiding what he’s doing, B) stressing out about getting caught, and C) dealing with the fallout when he gets caught, since most men who cheat usually do. This is not independent; actually it’s outcome dependence in the extreme. That’s why the above definition of sexual independence says “without having to hide it from anyone.”
To be fair, it is also true that a man with an OLTR is less independent than a one night stand player, or a guy who only does FBs or MLTRs. The OLTR involves some rules that men with FBs/MLTRs are free from. Also, as I’ve said many times, a man who lives full-time with a woman is also a little less independent than a man who lives alone, even if the cohabiting man has a fully open or poly relationship. A small decrease in freedom is the price a man pays for a “serious” relationship with a woman, and that includes Alpha 2.0s.
This is why any Alpha Male going into an OLTR or co-habitation with a woman needs to be very, very careful and keep both eyes open, which most Alphas, blinded by NRE or oneitis, do not. But I’ve talked about that on this blog many times.
So that’s it. That’s what being “independent” means. It means:
1. You are free from government interference as much as possible.
2. Your income and finances are arrayed to make you as independent as possible.
3. You have have sex whenever you want and with whomever you want without having to hide it or check in with anyone.
If the above three things describe you, then congrats. You’re independent. If not, then you have some more work to do. (Unless you like being dependent on others of course…)