Strangely, there still seems to be confusion with some of you about the fact I’m getting an OLTR Marriage, which I’ve talked about wanting to do for at least six years, while also saying that men shouldn’t get traditionally, monogamously married. I will do my best to explain this as simply as I can. (Again.)
In terms of Alpha Male 2.0, there are two kinds of marriages. There is OLTR Marriage and traditional monogamous marriage, or TMM.
OLTR Marriage means you live with a woman you call a “wife” but do so under three conditions:
1. The relationship is pair-bonded but not monogamous. It’s an open marriage / relationship. You are allowed to have sex with all the other women you want, provided they’re FBs.
2. Legally speaking, there is either no legal marriage (co-habitation agreement, domestic partnership, or some other legal agreement instead) or there is a legal marriage but there is an enforceable prenuptial agreement or similar in place (which are unavailable in most of today’s left-wing Western world). There are about eight or nine different ways to do this, some good and some bad, all listed here.
3. All finances are 100% separate in all respects. There are no co-owned debts, assets, accounts, or leases. Everything is separate financially in documented and legal ways. You can still support your wife if you really want to; you can just give her money if this is the case, but there is no joint accounts of any kind, ever. (Indeed, doing this may actually violate, and thus invalidate, the paperwork you signed in number two above.)
Other than those three things, the OLTR Marriage looks and feels just like a typical marriage, or at least can. You can have a wedding, have engagement rings, she can change her last name, and so on. As long as it’s an open marriage where you’re having sex with other women and there’s a legally enforceable and forever separation of finances, those kinds of things are all window dressing and don’t really matter (at least not in most jurisdictions; there are exceptions to all rules of course).
On the other side of the coin, you have traditional monogamous marriage, or TMM, which no longer works in the Western world, hasn’t for several decades now, and continues to get worse. Regardless, most people are either delusional or stupid and do it anyway. TMM is pretty much the opposite of an OLTR Marriage. In a TMM:
1. Absolute sexual monogamy is expected by both partners, at all times, literally forever. If either of them get sexual in any way with anyone else (which they usually do, eventually) and gets caught (which they almost always do) there is a huge explosion of drama in the marriage, and the marriage itself may even end.
2. It is a 100% legal marriage registered at the local courthouse and is recognized by the country and state/province and there is no prenuptial agreement or similar. (Or there is, but it’s in a left-wing jurisdiction like the UK, California, or Australia where it isn’t enforceable worth a shit and will be instantly tossed out of court if challenged.) If there is ever a divorce (and most likely there will be) the man will be absolutely fucked financially, sexually, and she’ll probably get his kids too.
3. Husband and wife combine all of their finances with zero protection for either partner. Like the complete idiots they are, they have joint checking accounts, joint debts, joint cell phones, they’re both on the lease or mortgage for where they live, and so on. If there is ever a divorce (and most likely there will be) untangling the finances between the two parties will be an absolute fucking nightmare that may take years of battling over.
As I’ve been saying loudly and publicly for almost a decade, TMM is one of the the biggest, absolutely stupidest things a man in the modern, Western world can do. If you get actually traditionally, monogamously married, you’re in one of these three categories:
A. You’re delusional idiot with temporary oneitis who isn’t thinking straight, and by the time you snap out of it and get back to any sort of rationality, it will be way too late.
B. You’re a beta male with no game, no real money, and no actual plans to ever have either. This means you’re such a loser that you don’t see the downsides of TMM as a real problem.
C. You’re a guy who secretly likes conflict and drama, and thus don’t mind at all if you have nuclear explosions in your life down the road after your temporary NRE high is over. (I’ve seen several Alpha Male 1.0s in the pick-up artist community in this category.)
You’re one of those three if you get a TMM these days (and in the Western world). You can’t be anything else.
At the same time, as I’ve been saying for at least six years, OLTR Marriage, on the other hand, if done correctly and you’re well over the age of 35, is perfectly fine. And yes, I’ve been saying this for at least six years. Please look at this article and look at the date at the bottom, or just look at the URL. I wrote it in 2012, six years ago, and it clearly states that I wanted an OLTR Marriage and laid out an example of how I would do it.
So yeah, I’ve wanted an OLTR Marriage for at least six years. At the same time, yes, I’ve also said things like “If you get married, you’re an idiot.” Whenever I say that, I’m referring to TMM, not OLTR Marriage. It’s really not complicated.
TMM is stupid. OLTR Marriage is fine (at least for some older men, provided you’re very careful).
I have never changed my mind.
I have never gone back on what I said I wanted.
I have never changed my opinion.
I have been very consistent about this.
Indeed, as I’ve said before and I’ll say again, I have been the most ideologically consistently content provider in the entire manosphere. At no point in the last 11 years have I lived one way then suddenly said that way was bad and now I need to live in some new way. Most other long-term content providers in the manosphere and pick-up artist community can not say the same. (I won’t mention any names, but I could. A lot.) They’re players, then they turn around and say being a player is bad and that monogamy is the way to go.
I have been consistent: Absolute sexual monogamy is never the way to go. You can pair-bond if you want. You can even get married if you want (as long as it’s an OLTR Marriage) but you can never get long-term monogamous and never combine your finances with a female. That shit doesn’t work anymore and you’re a fuckin’ moron if you do this (or you secretly like drama).
I have an OLTR Marriage with Pink Firefly, and have since January of this year when she moved in with me. Our wedding is in a week, but that doesn’t change anything. I will still continue to have sex regularly with my FBs on the side just like I do now, and that will never stop. It will probably lessen in frequency over time, but it will never stop. (And if you think it will, just watch me. If the last 11 years have shown anything, it has shown that I mean what I say, I walk my talk, and I am as constant as the North Star.)
As I’ve said before, for legal reasons, I can’t tell you exactly how our legal arrangements are structured, but I hint at it here. What I can tell you is that our finances are and will remain legally and enforceably separate, forever and always. They’re actually required to remain separate to ensure that the legally enforceable agreements and documents we’ve signed remain enforceable. I have numerous layers of asset protection in place. Moreover, we’re leaving the country in a few years (sooner than I planned, actually) and I’m internationalizing my assets, both of which will provide even more protection.
So remember, when I say “men shouldn’t get married” or “marriage is fucking stupid” I am referring to TMM, not OLTR Marriage. OLTR Marriage, something I’ve been clear I’ve wanted for many years, is perfectly fine as long as you do it correctly and you’re an older guy.
I will write an entire book on how to structure and have an OLTR Marriage. I already have lots of notes and a basic structure for the book, but I want to wait until my OLTR Marriage with Pink Firefly is three years old and everything is still great, so I have some credibility on this before I publish it. That means December of 2020. So for those of you who have asked, please be patient.
And if you ever see anyone say anything like “Blackdragon went back on his word and got married after he said marriage sucks,” send that dumbass a link to this article. (Assuming that guy knows how to read. He may not.)
If you find the content on this blog helpful, you should join the Alpha 2.0 Community where there’s even more. We have over 570 members who help each other with their financial and woman lives and building an Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle. I also have community-only podcasts there that aren’t available anywhere else. It’s free to join. Just click here.