When Men (Alpha 1.0’s) Get Too Controlling
Being Alpha is good. Being Alpha is better than being a beta in literally every way. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t go too far with being an Alpha. In the past, I have talked about hyper-extreme Alpha Male 1.0 celebrity examples like Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen, Russell Brand, and David Petraeus and the chaos they create in their personal lives as a result if their overwhelming need to control others. Today I’m going to add another too-extreme example of Alpha Male 1.0 behavior: R. Kelly.
To be objective, I must first start out by saying that the source of some of this data is Buzzfeed, which can be a highly questionable source at times. Regardless, R. Kelly has so much bizarre behavior in his past that, to me at least, this is one of those “too much smoke in the kitchen” scenarios. Nor has R. Kelly denied any of these allegations that I know of.
Some quick background on R. Kelly for some context. Stated simply, he has a long history of having sex with underage women. There were accusations of him having sex with a 15 year-old, then later he married Aaliyah when she was 15 (even making a song with her called “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number”), then after their divorce, there was video of him peeing on an underage girl, then there were pictures of him with another underage girl, etc, Clearly Kelly has a thing for really young girls… girls who can be more easily controlled.
Does that mean that every older guy who dates much younger women is a control freak? Not at all. I’m Alpha 2.0 so I’m the opposite of a control freak, let the women who I date do literally whatever they want with zero drama from me, and I’ve dated young (and legal) women for many years (in addition to women my age; I love women of all ages). The reason I say this about R. Kelly is the following…
Today, allegedly, Kelly takes hot 18 and 19 year-old groupies and offers to put them up in properties he owns. Once they agree, he controls their lives with an iron fist, including:
- He tells them what to wear.
- He tells them what to eat and what they’re not allowed to eat.
- He tells them when to sleep.
- He tells them when to bathe.
- They have to ask him permission regarding when to go to the bathroom.
- They are “trained” by a “den mother” on exactly how to have sex with him.
- They have to ask permission to leave their homes or the recording studio when in his presence.
- They are required to call him “Daddy.” (He calls him his “babies.”)
- They aren’t allowed to tell anyone where they are. For evidence of this, watch this video at timestamp 3:45, and where one of his “babies” squirms and refuses to reveal where she is when casually asked by an interviewer.
Again, these are all allegations at this point, and none of this is illegal. Kelly, learning from past experience, makes sure to keep all of these women as legal adults (age 18 or over), and there’s nothing illegal about an adult voluntarily being a slave to a hyper-dominant Alpha 1.0.
I have to pause here and address that before I lay into Kelly. A lot of the negative press he’s been getting about this revolves around the fact that he’s 50 and these women are as young as 18. Obviously I have no problem with this. As I’ve argued numerous times at this blog, there is literally nothing wrong with a much older man having sex with a much younger woman (or older woman with a younger man) provided that it’s 100% consensual, both parties are legal adults, and the older person isn’t lying or leading the younger person on. I clearly demonstrated this here.
I have also argued that sexual age of consent should be 16 everywhere in the Western world, and that punishment for having consensual sex with women under that age should a gradual sliding scale, starting out with a slap on the wrist for 15 year-olds and getting progressively worse for every year under that. It makes literally no sense to imprison men and brand them as life-long sex offenders for having consensual sex with a woman four days before her 18th birthday, but then do literally nothing if he instead just waits five days and then has sex with her.
Moving on, when many men read the kind of stuff R. Kelly is doing with his women, they think that this is the greatest thing in the world; all these hot, young chicks doing literally whatever you want at all times. “If I was rich and famous, I’d do the same thing,” these guys often say.
The problem is one of the core disadvantages with the Alpha Male 1.0 lifestyle: what happens when any of these women refuse to follow these mountains of rules? According to the article, some of his ex-babies report that:
If the women break any of Kelly’s “rules,” Mack and Jones said, he punishes them physically and verbally. For example, Jones claimed that Kelly held her against a tree and slapped her outside of a Subway sandwich shop in spring 2013 because she had been too friendly with the male cashier there.
McGee also said she witnessed Kelly punish the aspiring Florida singer for breaking his “rules.” “He left [the Florida woman] on the [tour] bus for, like, three days and she was not allowed to come out,” McGee said. “He said she didn’t do her homework — that’s why she was punished — which was very confusing, because she had just graduated [high school] over the summer.”
Those are just the “punishments” we know of. If you know about dating younger women as much as I do, you know that younger women, particularly hot younger women, are essentially teenagers, don’t follow instructions, and do whatever the hell they want, even if they promise to do so.
I would bet real money that R. Kelly not only “punishes” these girls, but does so all the time, on a regular basis.
Since you can’t punish, correct, or argue with a woman while being happy, Alpha Male 1.0’s like this do not experience long-term happiness. Sometimes they’re happy, but often they also feel angry, offended, jealous, or disrespected.
When you seek to control a woman’s (or women’s) life like this, you have to take the good with the bad. The good is that, sure, you have (theoretically) a woman who does whatever you say. The bad is that you’ll have to constantly argue with, lecture, correct, and “punish” these girls whenever they don’t do what you want, which they won’t, because that’s not how women work, particularly women who are young and hot.
I’ve said before that I have no overall problem with Alpha Male 1.0’s. I consider these men my brothers. Being any kind of Alpha, 1.0 or 2.0, is far superior to being a beta. At the same time, you have to realize that if you chose the path of the Alpha 1.0, you will never be as happy, or as consistently happy as men like me, the Alpha Male 2.0. If you say you don’t care, then great. If not being happy as often bothers you, then you should strongly be moving your life into the Alpha 2.0 realm so you can start being happy.