Do I Think Alpha Male 1.0s Are Bad?
I’m writing this article as a preemptive measure, shortly before the Alpha Male 2.0 book comes out, to deal with one of the many criticisms I know I’m going to get when people start reading the book.
This particular criticism will be something like this:
1. Blackdragon is disingenuously naming what he happens to like as Alpha Male 2.0 only to make them sound better than other types of Alpha Males. What a tool!
2. Blackdragon thinks what he calls “Alpha Male 1.0” is bad. They’re not bad, they’re awesome. What a tool!
While I understand it’s easy to assume the above, both of these are incorrect. I will explain.
2.0 Means New, Not Better
Some may think that I’m naming the 2.0s because they are better or improved over the old 1.0 models. The numerical 2.0 designation implies software: the new 2.0 version comes out to replace the “shitty” or “broken” 1.0 version that you should stop using.
This is an completely inaccurate comparison when talking about Alpha Male 2.0 vs. 1.0. I will give you a much better one. Instead of software, think Dungeons and Dragons.
What the hell? Dungeons and Dragons? Hang on. Stick with me for a minute.
If you’re not a nerd or ex-nerd and have no idea what I’m talking about, the game Dungeons and Dragons first came out during the 1970s and hit it big in the early 80s. Millions of nerds back then loved it, including me when I was in 7th grade.
Then something interesting happened. They came out with D&D Second Edition. A 2.0 version.
Some guys loved the 2.0 version, bought all the books, and started playing it. Other guys thought the 2.0 version sucked, avoided the books, and kept playing the 1.0 version.
Who was right? Who was wrong? Neither of course. It was simply a matter of opinion.
In later years, they came out with a 3.0 version, a 3.5 version, a 4.0 version, and just recently, a 5.0 version. Every time they came out with a new version, some guys thought the new version was great, while other guys thought it was horrible and kept on playing their favorite older version.
Today, if you go to a Barnes and Noble bookstore, you can purchase brand new, not used mind you, but brand new, freshly published copies of D&D 2.0, 3.5, and 5.0. Sometimes you’ll even find 1.0 and 4.0 there too.
Hm…interesting. Why would the publishers of D&D do such a crazy thing? Shouldn’t 5.0 be the “best?” No. 5.0 is the newest, but there is no “best.” Instead, tons of guys are still playing older versions that have been out for many years, and have no intention of ever switching. It’s what they prefer.
Alpha Male 1.0 and 2.0 work the exact same way. Alpha Male 2.0 is new. It’s something that has come to the fore only within the last 10-15 years or so. Alpha Male 1.0 is old; it’s been around for thousands of years.
Does that mean 2.0 is “better” than 1.0? Not necessarily. It means it’s newer and different. Many Alpha 1.0s are going to read my Alpha Male 2.0 stuff (or already have) and will reject it utterly in favor of their current Alpha Male 1.0 lifestyle. Other Alpha Male 1.0s will take bits and pieces of Alpha 2.0 but ignore the big stuff. In both cases, this is perfectly fine as long as they’re happy being who they are. That’s what “works” for them (hopefully). 1.0 or 2.0, Alpha is good. I respect both types. Hell, I would far rather you be an Alpha 1.0 than a beta, since in most cases being a beta is a no-win situation.
Do I Think Alpha Male 1.0 Is Bad?
That explains the nomenclature. Now let’s get to the big question. Do I think Alpha Male 1.0s are wrong? Do I think the Alpha Male 1.0 lifestyle is undesirable?
Well, Alpha Male 1.0 certainly isn’t for me. My personality and passionate love of happiness, freedom, and near-zero drama are wholly incompatible with spending the rest of my life bossing people around, monitoring them to make sure they obey my orders, and then spending time lecturing them and correcting them whenever they don’t. I’m outcome independent. I don’t give a shit what other people do, and I have way more important things to concern myself with.
Consistent happiness or control over others. Pick one, because you can only have one.
The beta male is scared shitless, so he has neither.
The Alpha 1.0 chooses control, giving up some happiness sometimes. Being the more fiery, higher-drama type of Alpha, he may scream at me, saying that he’s as happy just as often as I am, but if he’s being really honest with himself he knows he isn’t. (Read the book when it comes out; I explain that in detail.) More honest and evolved Alpha 1.0s do happily admit that their need for control does indeed cause them some regular drama and other problems in life, but they don’t mind. It’s what they prefer. More on this in a minute.
Myself, and other Alpha 2.0s, choose consistent happiness knowing we’ll have to give up some control over others. Again, that’s just our preference. We’re not right or wrong, better or worse.
The real answer to the question “Do I think Alpha Male 1.0 is bad?” is this: if a man is truly and honestly prefers living that way, then no. He’s not wrong at all, and doesn’t need to change a thing.
However, if a man is unhappy being an Alpha 1.0 and doesn’t like it, then yes, he is wrong, and needs to make some corrections in how he views the world and how he behaves. Just like a beta who is unhappy being a beta, an Alpha 1.0 unhappy being an Alpha 1.0 really, really needs to really check out Alpha Male 2.0 and give it a shot. In his particular case, he’ll be much happier if he applies those concepts to his life.
Alpha 1.0s Who Like It
As you might imagine, I know a lot of Alpha 1.0s. Some of these guys are quite “happy” in that they have consistent drama and conflict of some sort or another, but they like it that way. In relationships, they love the high that comes from a big argument with their girlfriend or wife. They love the angry “makeup sex” afterwards. In business, they love having employees, the more the better, and love being a leader and telling people what to do, even if this regularly causes conflict in their work life. As I describe in my description of them, they love to lecture people about what they want and how they should respect them. The love all this stuff in ways I do not.
One of my brothers is an extreme Alpha 1.0. “I like drama,” he told me once, “I love strapping on my tool belt and yelling at my stupid tenants. It’s fun. When my wife yells at me, so what? I just scream back at her. Eventually we calm down. What’s the big deal?”
Now that’s Alpha Male 1.0. He’s “happy” living this way. Granted, it’s a very different type of happiness from what I’m used to. Since I love happiness, I hate drama, since it’s not possible to be in the middle of negative drama and be happy at the same time. So in my case, if a woman starts give me any drama whatsoever, she has 20 seconds to calm down before she gets soft nexted and booted out the door, then I go have sex with someone else who isn’t giving me drama.
On the other hand, occasional drama “works” for my Alpha 1.0 brother. Does this mean he’s “wrong?” Does he need to “change?” No. I still think he could benefit from some Alpha Male 2.0 concepts, because he will, but he doesn’t need to transform into a 2.0 in order to be “correct.”
Alpha 1.0s Who Don’t Like It
There is another large group of Alpha 1.0s out there who are very different. They’re Alpha 1.0s, but they’re tired of it. They’re tired of the work, tired of the drama, tired of the chaos, tired of the conflict, tired of the breakups, and tired of the constant concern over others’ thoughts and actions. While they still have Alpha 1.0 personality tendencies, they’re sick of all that and want to be more chill like a 2.0 is. I’m not saying they’re miserable. They’re just unsatisfied with the way certain things are going in their life.
I get many emails from these guys. “How do I give less of a shit?” is a common question. “How can I avoid all this drama?” is another.
Here’s a perfect example. I was talking to an Alpha Male 1.0 business-friend of mine a few weeks ago. We were talking about our businesses and our relationship lives. Suddenly he turned to me and said, “You know, I’m just as happy as you. But I have to work way harder at it. I have to bust my ass to be as happy as you. But you just seem to sit back and happiness comes to you.”
Bingo. I could not have summarized it any better myself. As an Alpha Male 2.0, I have structured a life, from the ground up, where happiness comes to me with the minimum amount of work and pain to get there. I don’t have nearly as much control over others as an Alpha 1.0 has, but I don’t care. Alpha Male 1.0 is much more work. Again, if you like this kind of “work,” and many of you do, then it’s not a problem and you don’t need to change a thing. But if you’re tired of the work, if the work is starting to bother you, then you need to make some changes both in your mental perception of the world and structurally in your business and relationship life, both of which I discuss how to do in detail in the upcoming book.
So bottom line, I don’t think Alpha Male 1.0s are bad or undesirable. Quite the contrary, I think they’re awesome. Rather, I think that all men need to make changes in their life if they’re unhappy with how things are going, regardless of what type of man they are.