I have been working with, interacting with, and hanging out with Asian guys extensively, for my entire adult life, going back 25 years or more. I’ve had many Asian friends and worked with Asian companies extensively, from Japanese companies back in the 90s to Chinese and SE Asian companies today. Some of my best buds over the years have been Asian guys. Many of you Asian readers have emailed me and have spoken with me. I travel to Asia regularly and will likely live there someday. I’ve dated lots of Asian women (and white women) and have received lots of feedback on their opinions regarding Asian men.
I’m not Asian myself obviously, but Asian guys are something I know a lot of about, more than any other race of guys, outside of my own. When it comes to dating and pickup, I see Asian make the same mistakes over and over again. So if you’re an Asian guy trying to date women outside of your race, today is all about you, and what you need to do (or not do) to be successful in this area. The below items are not listed in any particular order, but they’re all important:
1. Stop worrying about what your mom and dad will think. It’s your life, not theirs. They’ll get over it.
While you Asian guys don’t have nearly the destructive cultural Societal Programming that the Indian guys need to wrestle with, as an Asian man you still have your fair share.
Asian society is highly collectivist. Some of that has helped Asian societies, such as Japan in late 20th century, Singapore today, and China in the future. The downside of this is that you’ve got hordes of Asian men living in the West, well over the age of 25 or even 30, who are spending their lives trying to impress their parents.
I’ve written an entire book on how to be your own man and overcome this kind of cultural brainwashing, so I’m not going to rehash all that here. The point is that if you’re an Asian man living in Asia who only wants to date (or marry) Asian women, then feel free to be a slave to your parents for your entire life if you wish. But if you’re an Asian man living in the West and wanting to date Western women, you need to, at least mentally, tell your parents to fuck off.
If your dad is going to freak out if he finds out you’re dating a white girl (or god forbid, a black girl), that’s his fucking problem, not yours. Let him freak out. He’ll get over it. He’s not going to kill you or excommunicate you from the family for all eternity. He’ll get pissed off, and eventually he’ll calm down. He won’t like it, but he’ll deal.
You’re a grown man, dude. It’s your life, not his. Worrying about your mom or dad’s reactions when you’re eight years old makes sense, but doing this in your late 20s or 30s makes you a pussy.
2. Lift weights and get some muscle.
Of course all men pursuing an Alpha Male lifestyle need to engage in regular resistance training, regardless of race. I’ve said this many times before. The payoffs in health and confidence are more than worth doing, even if you never plan on having sex for the rest of your life.
However, this muscle gain advice goes triple for Asian guys. One of the turnoffs Western women have regarding Asian men is their comparatively tiny, short, skinny little bodies. While there is a small percentage of women are attracted to super skinny men, a teeny tiny skinny body on a man is not attractive to the majority Western women. White women and black women in particular are attracted to men with bodies larger than they are. Lots of Asian men have bodies that are the same size or smaller than many Western women. That’s a problem.
There’s a huge upside to the male Asian body, however…if you can take advantage of it. Asian men have no body hair. When you’re the typical skinny Asian guy, this makes your shirtless body look like a little boy. But when you’re a ripped Asian guy, your body actually looks better than a white man’s body.
Let me be clear about this. Over the years, numerous white women, including super hot ones, have reported to me that a ripped Asian guy with some real muscle on him is better looking to them than average or even ripped white guys. Asian guys, white women tell me, have much better skin and a much better aesthetic look than white guys when they get buff. I have seen many white women swoon a little when they see a shirtless Bruce Lee or Daniel Dae Kim.
If I was an Asian guy wanting to hook up with white girls (or girls of any race outside of Asian), the very first thing I would do would be to get down to my local gym, hire a personal trainer, and get to work on building muscle.
3. Stop being a nerd.
This one actually isn’t as bad as it once was about 20 years ago, but the nerd stigma of Asian guys still holds with a lot of Westerners.
If you’re an Asian guy, just be aware that the odds of you being perceived as nerdy by non-Asian girls is much higher than any other race. When you speak to women or when you’re writing an online dating profile, avoid topics like college, Anime, Minecraft, computers, the internet, and things like that.
White guys and black guys can venture into these topics a little, but you don’t have that luxury. Keep your mouth shut about these things until after you’ve had sex with her twice.
4. Calm the fuck down.
You might remember I told the black guys to calm the fuck down too, but with you Asian guys this is a little different.
From the standpoint of a Westerner, Asian men are seemingly only available in one of two flavors:
1. Quiet Shy Beta Male Nerd
2. Laughing Loudmouth Who Can’t Shut Up
You know exactly who the Asian Laughing Loudmouth is. Every group of Asians has at least two or three of these irritating bastards. This is the Asian guy who is constantly talking very loudly, constantly smiling and laughing, constantly cracking jokes and can’t fucking shut up. Emphasis on the word constantly.
This is not attractive. It’s fun for a few minutes, but after that it gets old fast. It might get you friends, but it won’t get you laid. Non-Asian women’s pussies will dry up as you approach with your way too-high energy and stupid wisecracks.
If you’re an Asian Laughing Loudmouth, you need to calm down and shut up. Joking around is fine. Laughing is fine. If you’ve read my stuff or listened to any of my podcasts, you know I do that stuff often. They key is that I don’t do it constantly. I’m a happy guy, but I also calm down, shut up, and listen. I know how to communicate with other human beings at a normal level without acting like a clown all the time. You need to control yourself and do the same.
5. Don’t worry about your cock.
Asian guys often worry about how they might have a smaller penis than men of other races. Scientifically and statistically, yeah, that’s correct. But you know what? I have literally never heard of a non-Asian woman complain about this. I’m sure someone somewhere has, but I’ve never heard it.
Instead, non-Asian women complain about all the stuff above; Asian men being too concerned about their parents, being too skinny/tiny, being too nerdy, or being a Laughing Loudmouth.
If you’re a cool Asian guy with some muscles and you’re not joking around all the time, I don’t think any white, black, or Hispanic women is going to care much about the size of your cock. You’re good to go.