Today we’re going to talk about love. Love just makes the world go ‘round, doesn’t it?
Love in an Alpha Male 2.0 context is very different from when you love a woman from a beta male or Alpha Male 1.0 perspective. And we’re talking about romantic love for a woman here; I’m not talking about how you love your brother, your dog or your dad. And in terms of being in love, I think upwards of 99% of men are really only capable of loving one woman. In my experience and research, it’s next to impossible for that kind of love to apply to more than one woman.
The ultimate level of Alpha Male 2.0 relationship models is to be 100% completely in love and not have oneitis and to remain rational about the relationship. Most men, when they fall in love with a woman, lose rationality, objectivity, and they instantly get oneitis (if they didn’t have it already, which they probably did).
How It’s Done
I am married to Pink Firefly, and I mean it literally when I say she is the most wonderful, perfect woman for me that I have ever dated in my entire life. That is saying something, because I have dated scores of women over the last 13 years (and a little before that as a beta male). A lot of them were amazing women, and I’ve been in love a few times. I’m Blackdragon and I’m almost fifty, so I’ve been around the block.
But of all those women, Pink Firefly is the pinnacle in terms of her for me and in terms of the relationship I have with her. I love her more than I have ever loved a woman in my entire life. She is literally a dream come true for me; I love her on a spiritual level that I have not experienced often. It is beyond amazing.
That said, it’s also true that if Pink Firefly reaches a point in our relationship where she is giving me drama on a recurring basis and it’s not stopping despite our best efforts, I will instantly terminate the relationship and I will do so immediately and with zero regrets. She will, literally, be out of my house in no more than 48 hours. I won’t like it, but I won’t hesitate to do it.
In other words, I love her completely, but I don’t have oneitis. The vast majority of men are the opposite: When they love (or really like) a woman, they will do anything to keep her. They will argue and fight to keep her, and they’ll sacrifice massive portions of their lives and masculinity. I would say that for 97% of men, love equals oneitis. When a normal man loves a woman, all she has to do is make a bunch of demands, and if he thinks she’s serious about leaving him, he’ll immediately begin to compromise.
I hear this from guys online and in real life all the time—they will “do anything to make this relationship work.” No! That’s oneitis, folks. Fuck that.
Do you think I’ll “do anything” to keep Pink Firefly? FUCK NO! There are all kinds of things I won’t do. Not just drama, because that would be the most likely reason for me to terminate my relationship with Pink Firefly, but other things, like demands. If for some reason, she came to me one day and said she didn’t want me to have sex with other women anymore, boom, she’d be out of my house within 48 hours.
Same thing if she came to me and said she didn’t like that I was working so much. If she demanded that I cut back on work to spend more time with her, she’d be out of my house within 48 hours.
It doesn’t mean I don’t love her. I love her more than I’ve ever loved. I can love completely without having oneitis or sacrificing my rationality and masculinity.
When you reach that point as an Alpha Male 2.0—a point beta males and Alpha Males 1.0 will never reach—you will achieve a level of happiness you don’t even understand right now. I mean that literally, and I speak from experience. I am happy to a degree I didn’t even understand I could reach. One of the main reasons is because I can love without being stupid or having oneitis. I can love and still be a man.
One of the endgames of the Alpha Male 2.0 is to love as much as you possibly can, based on your personality, without sacrificing any rationality. This is something men don’t do. Most men fuck this up.
Guys who are de facto monogamous are good examples of this. De facto monogamy is when you’re messing around with three women, let’s say, and over a period of time, two of the women kind of float away, leaving you with just the one. And one day, you wake up and realize it’s been three months and you haven’t had sex with anyone except the woman who’s left. That’s de facto monogamy. You didn’t promise her monogamy, but you are monogamous—you’re only having sex with her.
Men who do that are acting on emotion rather than rationality. I’ve never seen a man actively choose de facto monogamy; when it happens, it happens to them. But what I have seen them do is rationalize their decision by emphasizing how great the woman they’re with actually is. It’s all beta male bullshit and rationalizing things backward, not the result of a conscious, rational decision. They’re getting feelings for this woman and getting oneitis, and they irrationally fall into this pattern.
That is something I’ve literally never done. I’ve never fallen into de facto monogamy with a woman, certainly not in the last 13 years as an Alpha Male 2.0. I have always been rational regarding the relationships structures with women in my life. These relationships are there to make myself as happy as possible and I never forget this. I don’t get lazy or complacent or distracted with work, but I still focus on what’s important, which is my happiness. I can’t be happy if I’m not rational in my relationships, and neither can you.
Another example is Alpha Males 1.0 or more confident betas who commit to monogamy, realize they don’t like it, and start cheating. Around 90% of the time, they didn’t sit down and plan to lie to their women by promising monogamy with the intention of cheating on them. Most men who cheat were just stupid and didn’t think this shit through. They start dating a woman who’s “not like the rest,” they commit to monogamy, it’s fine for a few months, and one day they wake up and wonder why they ever agreed to this. Then they create drama, or cheat and get caught, and so on.
They got oneitis and became irrational. They lost rationality when they caught the feelings. You don’t want to do that. The objective is to be in love and have those feelings while remaining rational. Men who are serial cheaters have never sat down and thought through whether this is a workable model, and that’s why they do it. And like the de facto monogamy guys, they then backward-rationalize how they painted themselves into this corner.
Ultimate success in your woman life, especially for those of you who want to settle down in some way in the long run, is getting to the point, emotionally and mentally, where you can love a woman (however you define romantic love) and not lose any objectivity. You need the objectivity to only use relationship models that actually work long term (or that won’t harm you if they fail) without putting up with any bullshit or limits on your freedom or happiness just to keep a woman, even if you love her more than you’ve ever loved before.
How do you get there? Practice. You practice by having FBs and MLTRs for years. Eventually, when you’re ready (and want to—this is optional), you practice having your first OLTR. The very first time you do these things, you’ll make mistakes. Do you think I did MLTRs perfectly the first time I tried? No, I fucked them up. But by the third one, it worked perfectly, and I’ve had many FBs and MLTRs since then. My married OLTR with Pink Firefly is working beautifully, and we’ve been together for six years and are about to hit our three-year mark in our marriage where most married couples are encountering all kinds of problems.
If you’re a very outcome-dependent or hyper-emotional guy right now, you probably won’t accomplish this goal next month (or even next year). Work towards this anyway! That’s why you need to practice these models, so you can get to the point where you can love a woman without holding back. I don’t hold back any feelings with Pink Firefly at this point, and I haven’t for years. I can feel these feelings and express them while remaining a rational Alpha Male 2.0.
With some practice, you’ll be able to do the same.