This article is going to make a percentage of you very angry. I’m just warning you now. I have a lot of experience discussing this particular topic, and I know from experience that a lot of you more traditional, religious conservative type guys, or beta males in a new relationship, or recently married guys—a bunch of you are going to be really upset by the end of this article. Which is okay; just be aware of it.
In this article, I’m going to go through every single objection to non-monogamy that I have ever heard over the past 11 years of discussing this publicly on the internet.
There are 49 items on this list, and we’re going to go through all of them. I’m going to use a list I published about six years ago, but I’ve updated it since then, and that’s what we’ll be using today as a basis.
Covering Some Basics
Before I get into the list of 49 objections and their answers, I need to cover some basics about what I’m saying.
What I’m saying is this: Long-term sexual monogamy does not work. Human beings were never designed for it, and if you talk to biologists, they will tell you exactly that. They will say it very quietly because a lot of them are married too, but they’ll tell you that human beings are not monogamous creatures. They are pair-bonding creatures, just not monogamous ones.
When I say I’m against monogamy, I’m not saying I’m against pair-bonding. Pair-bonding is fine; if you want to have a girlfriend or wife, if you want to settle down, if you want to have kids, that’s great! Do all those things—and have sex with other women on the side. Pair-bonding does not require monogamy.
I’m pair-bonded; I’m married. And I have sex with other women on the side pretty much every week. I also have children. So I agree with the traditional conservatives when they say that a couple raising kids together in a core family is best for society. That is correct. I’m not against that; I have that myself.
The problem is making the promise that you’re never going to have sex with any other woman for the rest of your life and then expecting your wife to make the same promise on her end. That’s stupid. We were never designed for this. The real divorce rate is somewhere around 76%, and some people argue that that figure is low.
The other thing is this: When I talk about sexual monogamy not working, I am talking about the Western world in the 21st century. I’m not talking about 1952 or what worked back in the 1700s. Occasionally, I’ll get some traditional guys saying, “What are you talking about? Monogamy has worked great for hundreds of years.”
I have news for you: You don’t live hundreds of years ago. You live in the collapsing Western world in the 21st century, and unfortunately, in this era, long-term sexual monogamy does not work. Plus, we could argue that monogamy didn’t work back then either because men were cheating on their wives and women put up with it.
If you are married and cheating, you are not monogamous and you have proven my point. But if you live outside of the Western world, some of the statistics I’m about to present may not apply. I am not talking about those regions.
So to recap: Monogamy is bad; pair-bonding is good; and I’m only talking about the Western world in the 21st century.
These are the objections I get when I talk about how bad monogamy is for us. These are listed in no particular order.
1. Having someone to care for you in your old age
What did I just say about the real divorce rate? It’s about 76%. That means there’s an outrageous chance your marriage will not make it to old age. You will get divorced before you get old. So if you want someone to take care of you in your old age, get traditionally monogamously married in your old age.
My dad just got married about two years ago, and I was fine with that. In fact, I was the emcee at his wedding. Why was I okay with this? Because he’s 80—he will die before he gets divorced. By the way, in terms of someone taking care of you in your old age, he married someone who is a nurse and 20 years younger than him. Great!
So if you really want to marry someone so someone will take care of you when you’re really old, wait until you’re really old to get traditionally monogamously married. By the time someone cheats, if that even happens, one of you will be dead.
2. I don’t want to get STDs.
I have been consistently non-monogamous for 13 years, having sex on a weekly basis with multiple women with no dry spells. I just got my STD test back six weeks ago, and I’m perfectly clean (and I get tested for everything). How do you explain that?
They have these really cool things called “condoms” you can put on your dick and have sex with women, and they greatly reduce the transmission of STDs. They have these other things called “blood tests.” I go in twice a year and get a blood test for everything under the sun; it’s just part of my routine.
Don’t forget that women can get tested too. There are mechanisms in place that allow you to be a responsible adult and make sure you don’t get STDs. I’ve never had a serious problem with one in my life.
3. I can’t trust my partner to use a condom every time they have sex with someone else.
So you’re in a serious relationship with someone you can’t trust? If that’s the case, you have much bigger problems than monogamy. You would not be in a serious relationship with someone unless you trust them.
4. Not settling down and/or never getting married and/or never having kids is selfish.
One of the biggest things people are worried about in terms of the future of the human race is overpopulation and/or environmental damage to the Earth. That means getting married and having kids is one of the most selfish things you can do. Don’t tell me that you want to have kids because you want to help the world—you want to have kids because you want kids.
5. Monogamy is the best way to raise children.
If this were the 1950s and the divorce rate was 7%, you would be correct. Is that true today? No, the divorce rate is 76% or so, depending on various factors. That means if you get married, there’s a 76% chance you will get divorced and fuck those kids up. This excuse doesn’t work in a society with a 76% divorce rate.
Granted, that excuse does work in areas or cultures that have a very low divorce rate. (What few there are these days.)
6. That divorce rate applies to dumb guys with bad taste who don’t know how to pick a quality woman. I am intelligent, and I will screen for a woman who will make a great wife and mother.
Wonderful! Please give me the names of 10 men in the Red Pill community or the Manosphere world who did that and it worked, guys “screened” for a perfect wife and mother, and now it’s 17 years later and they’re still married and happy.
I have a feeling you can name one or two, if that. When you use the exception to the rule to make a point, you’ve just proven mine. Out of the 50 or 60 married couples you’re acquainted with, you know two or three who’ve made it work. Thanks for proving my point.
This is what’s called Guy-Disney. “That won’t happen to me. That happens to everyone else.” But the reason that happens to so many people is because everyone says that. And there’s no data that I’ve seen to suggest men have mastered the art of screening for the perfect woman in the modern era.
7. There is one thing a man doesn’t get unless he’s married: a commitment.
That was true a long time ago when the divorce rate was around 7%. Today, a woman in the Western world can divorce you whenever she wants for any reason she wants, and she will be supported by the law and all of her friends and family. Traditional marriage is no longer a commitment—not in the Western world.
8. Having a bunch of open relationships is too much work.
I get this excuse a lot. The Alpha Male 2.0 model means you are having sex with at least two women—two. Is two a lot?
If you’re having sex with two women, that’s non-monogamy and you’re covered. So you could have one girl you’re dating, like a serious girlfriend, and one FB on the side, and that’s all you need. You can see your FB once a month if you want.
This negative fantasy that in order to be non-monogamous, you have to be banging 12 women at all times is just silliness. Of course, you don’t want to do that long term. One main girl and one on the side is accomplishable by any man reading this blog. I’m not suggesting anything that’s impossible or only available to the super-wealthy.
9. I don’t believe in cheating.
Good, neither do I. I have never cheated on a woman in my life. I have never promised monogamy and then had sex (or gotten sexual) with another woman behind that woman’s back—I’m one of the few men I know who can say this.
It’s not because I’m this honorable, ethical guy with a lot of self-control. It’s because I don’t get monogamous. I’m not stupid enough (or dishonest enough) to make the promise of monogamy for life. I state quite the opposite: I think you’re fantastic, but I’m a guy, and occasionally, I’ll go get some on the side. I’ll be careful, I’ll get tested, I’ll use condoms, and I’ll be discreet, blah, blah blah. Regardless, I don’t promise monogamy, and therefore, I don’t cheat.
Cheating doesn’t happen when you’re both allowed to have sex on the side. Cheating is promising monogamy and then going back on it. I don’t recommend or endorse cheating, and I never have. The Alpha Male 2.0 doesn’t need to cheat. Cheating is for beta males and Alpha Males 1.0.
10. She will complain that I haven’t asked her to be my girlfriend yet.
“If I date her for months and months, but I’m also dating other women, she’ll eventually not like that.”
That is correct. If you go here you will find my book, The Ultimate Open Relationships Manual. In that book, I teach a very strongly field-tested system in which you bring the woman through four phases, and there are ways you can manage this need for her to be more serious, be your girlfriend, or whatever. It’s part of the process I teach, and it’s not a big deal.
I’ve had numerous MLTRs over the past 13 years who dated me for years, and even when some of them wanted something more serious, it’s a workable model.
11. A girl cannot fully trust and commit to you if you keep having sex with other girls.
Millions of men all over the Western world who have OLTRs—girlfriends or wives—would disagree with you. My wife, Pink Firefly, fully trusts me and is fully committed to me. We’ve been together for six years and married for three. There are millions of other men who have done this, and they’re pretty quiet about it because they’re scared of Societal Programming, but it’s not a problem if you structure the relationship correctly—if you’re an adult, if you’re trustworthy, and if you don’t lie to her. If it’s clear what you’re doing, it’s workable.
Most guys who do non-monogamy wrong, and that’s the problem there. That was the impetus behind my starting this company many years ago; I saw a lot of people in non-monogamous relationships, and they had all kinds of drama and chaos. If you follow Alpha 2.0 models, you won’t have any of that.
12. I don’t have time to date all my girls and keep looking for new girls every day.
It’s like I said earlier: You don’t need lots of girls. Just TWO. Just have two women and you’re non-monogamous. Have one main girl and one side girl—or two side girls, if you want to be really casual.
I also teach in my models that you only see her once a week unless she’s your OLTR. Then you have sufficient time on your hands. Get this thought out of your head that you have to bang a lot of girls. You don’t.
13. All this stuff is probably true and I agree; monogamy probably doesn’t work, but I just can’t handle it if the woman in my life is out having sex with other guys.
This is probably the biggest objection of them all.
First, if she’s young (early to mid-twenties), yes, she’s going to fuck other guys. Should you care if you’re dating a friggin’ 19-year-old and she’s fucking other guys on the side? She’s a 19-year-old girl! I hate to break it to you, but you shouldn’t be getting into serious, committed relationships with 19-year-olds. I’ve talked about this plenty. If you do, you’re stupid, even if you’re 19 yourself. The last thing you want to do is try to form a serious, long-term relationship with someone in her late teens or early twenties. That is a recipe for disaster.
Now, if they’re in their early to mid-thirties, are they going to be out banging other dudes? Sometimes yes, but generally no. They don’t want to. ASD—anti-slut defense—rises as a woman’s age rises and it spikes at age 33.
My wife is 40 years old and a practicing Christian. Do you really think she spends her time on Tinder or at dance clubs looking for guys to fuck? Older women generally don’t do this (and yes, there are always exceptions). The data tells us that women’s sexual patterns are dynamic, and they spike here and there. Even if she hooks up with another guy, it’s not something she’ll want to do on a regular basis.
Guys who operate under Objection #13 here assume that women’s sexual patterns operate just like men’s, and they don’t.
The next answer to this is that by the time it happens three or four times, you don’t give a shit anymore, especially if she’s younger. It’s not as big a deal as you think.
Also, you shouldn’t be so focused on what your woman is doing when you’re not around. You should be focused on yourself, your mission, your goals, and your career plans. I have noticed that guys who tend to be jealous are typically guys who don’t have a lot going on in their lives. Set some fucking goals and get excited about your life.
Finally, don’t forget that her occasionally having sex with other guys is one negative that you’re trading for 15 or 20 positives. Keep some perspective here. The ability to have sex whenever you want, to not have your balls controlled by a woman, to be protected from breakups and divorces—the list of positives goes on and on and on. Weigh all that against the one negative.
14. My girl is Not Like The Rest™
I get this one a lot. This is an excuse used by guys who are players and pick-up artists. They’ve had sex with 37 women (like that’s a lot), and the one they’re with now isn’t like any of the rest.
Let me explain something to you. By having sex with all these women, you have now established a precedent in your psyche that you need to fuck a lot of women. So if you try to get monogamous with her, what’s going to happen? You’re going to cheat.
I have worked with numerous pick-up artists / players who tried this. They banged a lot of women, they found one who “wasn’t like the rest,” they got oneitis, committed to monogamy, and within a few months, they were back on Tinder and back in the clubs fucking other girls. They got caught, drama ensued, and they broke up or got divorced.
It’s not relevant whether a particular woman is capable of monogamy—YOU are not… which means the monogamy will fail.
15. What happens if she falls in love with another guy she has sex with and leaves me?
Read this article. The summary is that in a properly managed OLTR relationship, I have literally never seen this happen, not even once. And I have talked to hundreds of people who have relationships like this.
The times I’ve seen something like this occur, it is always when the open relationship is blazingly mismanaged. It happens when the men allow their girlfriends/wives to have relationships with other men, to have long, emotional talks on the phone with other men, to go on trips with other men, and so on.
In an OLTR relationship, there are restrictions on what a woman can do. She can hook up with other men using condoms, but that’s it. No dating, no going on trips, no spending the night, and when you have that model, I have literally never seen a woman leave a man in an OLTR for another guy she had sex with. (I’m sure, statistically, it’s probably happened out there somewhere, but I’ve never seen it.)
16. My parents, close friends, and family won’t accept me if I’m having sex with other women.
Fuck ‘em! Who cares? Do you think my mom liked me doing this? No. I’ve already talked about this in my YouTube videos. Tell them to fuck off. If your friends really have a problem with this, they weren’t your friends to begin with. Get some balls!
17. What if open marriages and relationships became a societal norm and everyone did this?
Read this. This is a completely philosophical, mental-masturbation discussion and it is not relevant to you.
Second, there will always be needy, religious, irrational, and low-sex-drive people who try to make monogamy work even if non-monogamy became the cultural norm.
And I think it will because at some point, it will be literally impossible to have a monogamous relationship; due to technological growth. You won’t be able to hide anything anymore.
18. If you find the right person, you’ll never want to have sex with anyone else.
Show me five men who have been married more than 25 years who have never wanted to have sex with a woman besides their wives. Good luck with that.
As I’ve talked about in my books, the part of the brain that desires sex and the part of the brain dealing with love are two completely different sections that serve completely different functions. Sex does not have anything to do with love unless you choose it to be so. People think sex and love should be one thing, but that’s bullshit right-wing societal programming.
I’m amazed that I have to point this out to be people in the modern era.
19. Non-monogamy puts pressure and stress on women.
And monogamy doesn’t? What do you think monogamy, traditional marriage, living with a man full time, and having children will do?
As I’ve discussed at this blog many times, women will be stressed and pissed off no matter what you do. Whether you’re monogamous or not, they will find something to complain about—it’s just part of being a woman and it’s part of the female psyche. It’s not something they can control; it can suck to be a woman in that respect.
20. Her friends will give her shit about dating me.
Yep, some of them will. So what? I’ve had numerous relationships over the years in which her friends wanted to know why they were with me when I was fucking other women, and they stuck with me anyway. If you follow the correct framework, they won’t leave just because their friends don’t like it.
Women date and fuck guys all the time that their friends don’t like. That’s a normal part of being a girl.
21. I hate using condoms. With monogamy, I don’t have to use one.
As most of you know, I have tracked my entire dating life since 2008 on spreadsheets in great detail, and about a year ago, I looked through the list of all the women I’ve had sex with under these non-monogamous models. I marked the ones who got to the point where eventually we didn’t need to use condoms with me, and the number was large. (And yes, the number of women I’ve used condoms with is also large.)
She can reach a point where she becomes a trusted partner and where, after building a long track record of responsible behavior, you take the condom off. You can do this if you’re adults about it. Be responsible. Use condoms on new women, please.
So non-monogamy doesn’t mean you’re using condoms for the rest of your life.
22. I kind of like drama. I kind of like the ups and downs of monogamous relationships. I’m an emotional guy and I kind of get off on that.
Then enjoy your drama and pain, and I’ll be over here being happy. And don’t come to me in six months complaining about all the drama you have.
That’s what happens with these guys: They wonder why I’m so big on not having drama, and then they complain about all the drama they have. It’s interesting to see the number of men who “kind of like drama” complain about the drama just a few weeks after they said it.
23. I tried this open relationship stuff once or twice and it doesn’t work. After two or three months, women demand monogamy or leave.
That means your technique is off. You’re not doing it right. You need to get The Ultimate Open Relationships Manual. Follow its instructions and it will work for you, I promise (or your money back!). Thousands of guys have done it.
24. A-ha! You’re selling stuff! Now I can’t trust a word you say!
That’s right, you shouldn’t trust anything I say. You should verify everything I say with your own information and your own data. I’ve been talking about this stuff online for 11 years; I didn’t just arrive on the scene here. I’ve worked with thousands of people on these topics; these are field-tested models that actually work. Give them a try before saying they don’t work.
And yes, please use a thing called Google and verify what I say if something doesn’t sound right to you.
25. I’m going to get social media drama like my relationship status, her seeing other women on there, etc.
Not if you do this correctly. I have dated scores of women under these models and the grand total number of times I had drama on my social media because of this is two. That’s two instances in 13 years, and both of them were about 10 years ago.
So no, you will not have this problem if you do this stuff correctly.
26. I want to have a relationship/marriage like my grandparents had.
Your parents and grandparents were products of a very different era in which men and women were conditioned for different behaviors. You were not born and raised in the 1910s.
Also, your grandparents were raised in a society in which divorce was heavily restricted, both legally and culturally. Today, divorce is legally and socially encouraged. When a woman decides to divorce a man today, all her friends and family circle up around her and support her. That’s the opposite of many decades ago when many people said, “No, you can’t get a divorce. Go back to him!” That is the era we’re living in.
Also, your grandparents (who are still married) don’t have sex very often. Don’t forget about that. I love how people romanticize how their grandparents are still married after 50 years. Grandpa’s not getting laid—unless he’s cheating!
Finally, your grandparents argue a lot if they’re still married after many decades. Don’t forget about that, either.
Don’t romanticize this shit, and don’t forget that you don’t exist in the world your forefathers experienced many years ago.
27. What about love? You can’t truly love someone if you’re having sex with other people, or if they’re having sex with other people.
Think back on something. Was there ever a time in your life when you were in love with Person A and you had sex with Person B? Whatever the scenario consisted of, you were in love with one and having sex with the other.
Here’s the question: Did having sex with Person B make you love Person A less?
No, it didn’t. Love and sex are two different things that have nothing to do with each other.
28. I don’t want to be hanging around dance clubs and picking up chicks when I’m 45 years old!
Great, neither do I. I’ve been in my forties for a long time; do you think I go to dance clubs?
There’s this really cool system called “online dating,” and through online dating, you can just pick up women using your phone. It’s great, you should look into it.
29. Abolishing monogamy? Oh my God! That’s one of the goals of feminism!!!
If those feminists want me to have a marriage in which I can have sex with a 19-year-old cheerleader on the side whenever I want, then that is one aspect of feminism I wholeheartedly support.
However, I suspect that’s not what the angry feminists have in mind. They probably envision a situation in which they can have sex with other men, but their men can’t have sex with other women. I would be against that; both parties should be able to play around or the relationship won’t last or be harmonious. So that goes both ways.
In the Western world, you cannot have a relationship in which one person is allowed to fuck other people, but the other one isn’t. I’ve never seen that work longer than eight or nine months. You’re not going to be able to pull that off in the Western world.
30. When you’re dating, this stuff is fine, but no one actually does this while married and raising kids.
No one? You mean like me? And millions of other men in similar marriages all over the world?
Yeah, no. Stupid.
31. Traditional legal marriage offers financial advantages such as estate tax benefits and Social Security benefits.
You only get those benefits if you stay married into your old age. What did I say earlier? The real divorce rate in the U.S. is 76%. That means you will get divorced before such time as you are eligible for these long-term benefits.
Betting your financial security on a system with a 24% success rate is shockingly bad financial management.
If you want to get married specifically for these benefits, then do so once you’re old.
32. Most marriages fail, fine. But most small businesses also fail, yet you encourage men to start their own businesses. You’re not being consistent.
Read this. Even if you’re the perfect partner or spouse, you’re only 50% of the equation. You could do literally everything perfectly and your odds of success could still be around 50%. The other 50% is a woman over whom you do not have direct control.
When you start a business, is it only 50% under your control? No, it’s about 95% under your control. The only part of your business you don’t control is the economy, and even at that, you can pivot in your business and focus on sectors of the economy that are doing well.
By raising this objection, you are not comparing mathematical apples to apples. You have far more control over your own business than you do over your marriage.
33. I wanna know that my kids are mine!
They have this really great invention called a “paternity test.” Might want to look it up. They have another one called an NIPP (Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity test) where they can actually check paternity before the baby is born, and you usually know the same day whether the baby is yours.
Other than that, you can buy a paternity test at Walgreens for $20.
Again, this is not the 1800s.
I love these stupid excuses. We have technology today that handles a lot of these problems.
34. Monogamous relationships are better for more traditional people.
Atheists have lower divorce rates than religious people. Look it up.
35. I know so-and-so who has been married for three, five, 12, 15 years, and he’s made marriage work. So I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.
Traditional monogamous marriage means you’ve committed for the rest of your life. So if he’s been married for seven years, you have no idea if he’s made marriage work. Do you know whether he’s fucked other women throughout that marriage? Do you know for sure whether his wife has never gotten sexual with anyone else during that marriage? Do you know for sure he’s going to stay married to that woman for the next 30 years?
I have been shocked in the past by the number of marriages that looked great on social media, but behind the scenes, one (or both) of them is getting cheating, or they’re fighting and screaming and throwing shit at each other, and you have no idea whether that marriage is “working.”
Moreover, is traditional marriage the kind of thing that lasts seven years and then you get divorced? No, you need to wait 25-35 years and then see if it works. My parents just got divorced a few years ago after 46 years of marriage. Did they make it work? (Ask my dad how happy he is about that.)
36. Monogamy works fine in places like India.
Like I said at the beginning, I’m talking about the Western world. By the way, the divorce rate in India is spiking. Same with China and all over Asia. Pretty soon, there will be nowhere in the world without high divorce rates.
37. This 76% divorce rate stuff is bullshit. If you wait until you’re 30, 35, or 40 to get married and/or you marry an older woman, or a college graduate, or have your wedding on the winter solstice when all the planets are aligned, the divorce rate drops to 44%, 39%, 30%…
Read this article about all the the crazy shit you’d have to do, statistically, to make truly lower the odds of any future divorce. The things on the list included marrying a virgin (good luck), marrying an Asian woman, marrying a college graduate who makes a lot of money but makes less than you, and a bunch of other crazy shot. You’re not going to do all that.
But okay, imagine you did. Imagine you did everything on the list, and now you’re looking at a divorce rate of “only” 30% instead of 76%. Would you buy a washer and dryer set that you knew had a 30% failure rate? No, you wouldn’t. But for some reason, you’re going to bet your entire financial future on something with “only” a 30% failure rate?
Five percent, maybe I would. But at 30%, you’re insane.
38. There have been studies to suggest that a woman’s sexual desire for a man resets and is strong again when she has your baby. If you made a brand new baby with her every two or three years, you could make long-term monogamy work.
So to be with her for the rest of your life, you’d have to have 15 babies with her? Do you want 15 kids? Can you afford 15 kids? Is she physically able to have 15 kids?
You’re living in a goddamn fantasy world. Please calm down and turn on your brain.
39. I’ve been married and monogamous for X-number of years and everything is perfect. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
As I said above, being married for X-number of years does not mean you’ve made marriage work. Come back when you’ve been married 50 years. And if you’ve ever been sexual with any other woman in any way for the entire duration of your marriage, you’ve proven my point that monogamy can’t work.
The same goes for your wife—she can’t have been sexual with anyone else for the entire length of your marriage. If she has, it hasn’t “worked.”
If I sat down with you and really started asking you some real questions about your marriage, I suspect I’d be able to find some things that were really wrong with it. Maybe not, but most likely.
40. If you’re an Alpha Male, have a strong game, use great relationship technique, and have a strong, solid frame, you can keep your monogamous woman interested in your forever and you’ll never get divorced.
Can you keep a monogamous woman interested in you for longer than you could if you were a total beta male? Yes. Can you keep her sexually interested in you and non-bored with you forever? No.
So if you’re talking about serial monogamy, that can actually work, but that’s another conversation. But would that make you happy in the long term?
41. Monogamous relationships fail, but open relationships won’t last either.
This is true. All relationships are temporary. The difference is that in a non-monogamous model, the damage you suffer as a man is far less than it would be in a monogamous relationship. If I got divorced tomorrow, I wouldn’t lose a penny and my sex life would continue unabated. Now, it wouldn’t be a happy day, by any means. But my sex and financial life would be fine.
If you got divorced from a traditionally monogamous marriage today, you’re FUCKED! A lot of guys never even recover from these things.
You could make the argument that no relationship lasts forever. The difference is the damage you sustain when it ends.
42. No woman over 30 would ever agree to a relationship like this.
Well, let’s see. I met Pink Firefly when she was 34, we were married when she was 37, so… you’re a dumbass.
43. No intelligent woman would ever agree to a relationship like this.
Incorrect. I have dated women with genius-level IQs, women who made six-figure incomes, and women who went to Ivy League schools under these models.
44. The stats show that married people live longer.
There are two answers to this. The first is, I’m not against marriage. I am married, if you’ll recall. I’m not against marriage; I’m against sexual monogamy and getting financially raped in a divorce. If you want to get married under an OLTR model, please do so. Marriage is fine as long as you’re sexually free and your finances are protected.
The second is this: The statistics compare the typical married guy and the guy who never gets married. The typical guy who never gets married, generally speaking, are the losers and dorks with no people skills, they’re not very physically fit, etc., and there are plenty of exceptions to this, but we’re not looking at the same baseline. It’s not that they’re not getting married, it’s because they’re losers, therefore they don’t get married, and therefore they don’t live as long.
That’s really irrelevant. Go ahead and get married if you want to, just don’t be monogamous.
45. (Americans only) Getting married is a good idea because it reduces monthly health insurance costs.
So you’re going to incur all the risks of a monogamous marriage in a society with a 76% divorce rate so you can save $300 a month on health insurance? Does that sound smart to you? Does that sound rational?
Hell, let’s triple that number. Taking all the horrible risks of traditional monogamous marriage for a $900 a month savings on insurance is insane.
Here’s an idea, and I’m about to blow your mind here: Why don’t you just increase your income by $900 a month?
46. Yes, the odds of monogamous marriage lasting forever are very low. But that doesn’t matter to the individual. The statistical odds of a guy having sex with more than 50 women in his life are also very low, but you don’t recommend any guy stop pursuing that goal, right?
Again, you need to work on your basic math skills.
What is the variable that you must control if you want to have sex with 50 women? There’s only one: you. You have control over you. If one girl doesn’t work, you just go to the next, then the next, and so on, until you get your 50.
When you’re married, what are the variables you have to control? You and her. But you don’t have control over her, which means you control only 50% of the equation.
But if your objective is to bang a lot of girls, you only have to control one person—you.
47. If you get married maybe you can save money on taxes.
Read this. Being married puts upward pressure on monthly expenses. Even in an OLTR marriage, my monthly personal expenses went up when I got married.
So if you think for one moment that getting traditionally married is going to save you money, you’re a fucking moron. You will be spending so much more money, any tax savings will be irrelevant.
48. I prefer to have one partner because I hate all the things necessary to get a new partner.
Again, you don’t need 12 partners. The assumption behind this question is that you have to have 47 partners or something. It’s just not true. You only need TWO—one main girl and one on the side. That’s all. If the girl on the side goes away, you can, at your leisure, go get another one. It doesn’t take a lot of effort.
I have an entire book series that shows you how to bring new women into your life relatively quickly, easily, and cheaply if you want. But even then, you don’t need a bunch of women.
49. At some point, you need to grow up and commit to somebody.
In general, I agree with that. There are some exceptions, men who should never get married or live with a woman. But eventually, yes, I agree that as men get older—way over the age of 35—they should settle down with someone if they want to, provided they’ve achieved some of their financial goals and so forth. I certainly did. But do it under the OLTR model and with a financial barrier in place so you don’t lose a penny in the event of a divorce and you can continue to have sex with other women.
Don’t bullshit yourself about this! Every excuse I’ve ever heard is right here on this list. Long-term sexual monogamy doesn’t work. The only intelligent option is to embrace some sort of non-monogamy, and there are many different kinds.