One of the biggest problems in man-woman relationships is the issue of honesty. Everyone lies to each other constantly.
Some people lie a lot.
Some people lie a little but still lie.
Some people tell huge lies.
Some people tell lots of little lies.
Some people get quietly resentful or fearful when their partner(s) lie to them.
Some people get furious and engage in massive drama and arguments when they’re lied to.
And so on.
This is a problem with both men and women. Anyone who says or implies that one sex lies more than the other is full of shit. Men, women, aliens, I don’t care! Pretty much all of you fuckers are lying to the people you’re dating.
Chris Rock once said that men lie more than women, but women tell the biggest lies. Men lie by saying things like, “Uh, yeah, I picked up the bread on the way home. I didn’t forget.” But women lie by saying things like, “It’s YOUR baby!”
We could debate that I suppose, but the point is that everyone is lying to everyone. The world of dating and relationships is a world of dishonesty. Today I’m going to talk about how to navigate that world as an Alpha Male 2.0.
The two biggest reasons people lie to their sexual partners is Societal Programming and monogamy. Just think about it. The vast majority of lies boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives tell each other are due to one of these two reasons:
1. They are trying to shield someone from something they think is societally unacceptable.
2. They have somehow violated the rules of traditional monogamy (even if that means all they did was have a friendly IM conversation over social media with an ex).
Fortunately, as an Alpha Male 2.0, these two factors don’t apply nearly as much to you as it does to our beta male and Alpha Male 1.0 brothers. Thankfully, you’re sexually free. You’re not monogamous and never will be, so you never need to lie about anything in that realm (unless you are really fucking up the non-monogamous relationship models).
Societal Programming is a factor with other people, so that needs to be accounted for, but the Alpha Male 2.0 has worked really hard to remove his false Societal Programming from both his life and his mind instead of embracing it.
The Alpha Male 2.0 doesn’t need to lie to a woman he’s in a relationship with, ever, for any reason. You simply do whatever the hell you want, don’t hide it, and if she doesn’t like it, she can leave any time she wants and you don’t care because you have other women in your life besides her and she’ll likely be back anyway.
Once you’re well past several months into your relationship, she should have a pretty good idea of everything you’re doing. If she doesn’t like it at that point, that’s on her, not you. If she doesn’t like it, that’s her problem, not yours. She can either leave and go find another guy or stay with you and deal with it.
When a man lies to a woman in a relationship with it’s because he’s scared she might leave him. It’s a mild form of oneitis. Instead, you shouldn’t give a shit.
This applies to even Alpha Male 2.0s with OLTR Marriages like I have. I’ve never lied to Pink Firefly about anything and I never will. I don’t need to. She knows me well at this point and pretty much knows what I’m doing with my life. I don’t need to hide anything, and if she doesn’t like it, that’s her problem. She’s welcome to divorce me any time she likes, get nothing from me financially, and my sex life with my FBs will continue. I’m covered no matter what happens. That’s why I never need to lie.
This is the exact opposite of the beta male (or the Alpha Male 1.0 who surrenders to monogamy) who “needs” to lie to their women all the damn time, but I’ll get to those poor bastards in a minute.
To be clear, I’m talking about not lying to a woman, meaning that everything you say to a woman is 100% truth. I’m not saying you need to disclose everything to everyone. Honesty and disclosure are two different things. Today I’m only talking about honesty. I discussed disclosure and “lying by omission” already here.
Men think that lying eliminates drama. Men are wrong. Lying delays and expands drama. It does not eliminate drama.
If the woman you’re dating asks you a question to which she’ll hate the answer, yes, lying to her about the answer and telling her what she wants to hear will prevent her from screaming at you today. However, eventually she’ll discover you lied to her. It might take months. It might even take years. But she’ll find out. Men are terrible at keeping secrets from women.
At that point, you’ll not only have drama, but you’ll have more drama than you would have if you had told her the truth to begin with. You didn’t eliminate any drama. You just exacerbated and tossed it a few months into the future. Not smart.
Plus, the fact you lied to her is proof positive that you’re needy, outcome dependent and likely have some oneitis. You shouldn’t care what she thinks. If you’re completely honest with her (which is what women always say they want!) and she responds by actually giving you drama, fine, soft next her ass on the spot and go have sex with the next woman on the list. Yes, it’s that simple (I’ve done it many times in the past.)
Speaking of needy, that brings us to our beta male brothers. Beta males lie to hide things. Since betas live in a state of scarcity and fear, they’re terrified that if the woman in their life finds out X, Y, or Z, she might break up with him or yell at him. Oh dear! Can’t have that!
Alpha Male 1.0s lie as a matter of course, as part of their lifestyle. Unlike beta males, most (though not all Alpha Male 1.0s) lie to women on an ongoing, and regular basis. To use the monogamy example, beta males are actually monogamous (at least for the most part) so they don’t need to lie about it. Alpha Male 1.0s promise monogamy then turn right around and cheat. They “have” to lie, and they do, all the damn time. And, of course, they eventually get caught and have drama.
The Alpha Male 2.0, never being monogamous and living his life the way he wants regardless of what women think, doesn’t need to lie unless he’s really screwed up somehow (failed to follow the Cardinal Rules, got oneitis, etc).
Honesty in terms of your relationships is a big topic and I’ve only scratched the surface here. I will write more on this if I get requests to do so.
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.