I’ve run into this ridiculously silly social media meme several times now when women repost it. It’s called Stay Single Until You Meet A Guy Who Does These 70 Things.
Yeah. You can see where this is going.
I tried to ignore it, but I just couldn’t not respond to this extreme bullshit Societal Programming. I just can’t help myself. Too many women have re-posted and re-tweeted this thing for me to ignore it.
Before I get into this, I’m not responding to these 70 items because I’m taking this stupid clickbait article seriously. I’m not. I’m responding to these things because so many women read these things and agree with them to the point of reposting them saying stuff like “Hell yeah” or “Exactly!” This stuff reads like a Dominant’s wet dream. While I agree with a few of the items, most of them should be titled How to Be an Extreme Beta Male Who Will Quickly Destroy Any Attraction A Woman Had for Him.
Let’s have some fun…
1. Asks you on a real date and follows through.
I agree. However, you need to clarify what a “real” date means. I have a feeling that means full-on dinner and drinks. For a first date? Fuck no. Once we’re dating, sure. If I like you.
2. Holds open your doors.
While this kind of thing is pure Societal Programming, I think it’s okay as long as it’s not taken to extremes (and as long as a woman doesn’t actually complain about it).
3. Pulls out your chair.
If you’re my OLTR and we’re on an unusually fancy date, then fine. Otherwise, no.
4. Takes your jacket.
5. Stands when you excuse yourself from the table.
Jesus. Sweetie, please, let’s not push it. This isn’t the fucking 1950s anymore. A man would look stupid doing that today. It would actually confuse most women. “Why are you standing up?”
6. Let’s you order first.
It’s bullshit SP, but I do this just to be nice. Not a big deal.
That is a very big topic that I’ve addressed here and other places. The bottom line is if we’re talking the first date or two, sure, the man can pay as long as it’s a drink or two at a bar or a coffee or two at a Starbucks. Much more than that, no. I have had sex with a massive number of women where I spent between zero and 27 dollars over the first two dates. It works.
8. Stands on the outside of the sidewalk.
More bullshit SP. The odds of someone attacking a woman while walking next to a man she’s with on a city street is well within the 2% Rule and should not be a concern. (Unless you’re both walking in an extremely dangerous part of town, but why the hell would you be doing that on a date?)
9. Walks around with a handkerchief, ‘just in case.’
Read the thing above about this not being the 1950s anymore. It’s the 21st century. Please update your software.
10. Walks you to the door.
Finally, one where I agree. A man should take the lead during dates.
11. Wants to meet your father.
<spits out drink> Wait, what? I don’t want to meet your fucking dad. I just want to have sex with you and maybe spend some time with you. What hell does your dad have to do with this?
After a year or two of dating once we’re actually talking about getting married, if you get that far and you probably won’t, then fine, meeting your father might be appropriate at that time. But outside of that? Jesus, go fuck yourself, Sweetheart.
12. Introduces you to his family.
Read above what I just said. If we’re super duper serious, then fine. Other than that, no.
13. Thanks you for a great date, every date.
Excuse me? Why do I need to thank you for the date? Especially when I’m the one who probably paid for everything?
Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t you thank me for giving me a blowjob?
See how insulting that sounds? That’s how you sound.
14. Drives you to and from places.
You need to download this really cool app called “Uber.”
15. Introduces you to his friends.
Read above what I said about your Dad and your family. Of course, we don’t need to wait quite as long for friends as we do your Dad, but the principle is the same.
16. Texts back quickly.
Wrong. Responding to texts quickly is horrible time management and damages personal effectiveness on multiple levels. I’m a man on a Mission and I’m busy working on that most of the time. I’ll text you back when I am done. If that’s not acceptable to you, then great, go date a guy who will never make more than $30,000 a year.
17. Supports you and all you do.
Uhhh, what? I have to support everything you do?
What if you lie to your friends? What if you do hard drugs? What if you go $70,000 into debt for a degree in art history?
I don’t care how hot or fun you are, I’m not going to support you if you do dumb shit. Sorry.
18. Doesn’t push sex immediately.
Sure, I won’t push for sex within the first five minutes of the first date. That would be “immediately.” I know that usually doesn’t work. Instead, we’ll have a one-hour first date at a Starbucks and then I’ll push for sex on the second date when you come over to my house. And if you’re under the age of 33 and my spreadsheet statistics are accurate (and they are), you’ll probably be cool with that.
19. Takes care of you when you’ve had too much to drink.
Sure. Just realize that if you’ve had “too much to drink” often then you’ve taken yourself out of the running for a serious relationship with me.
20. Asks how you are and waits for an answer.
Okay. Not sure why I would ask you a question and not wait for an answer though. That’s weird.
21. Talks confidently about the future.
Shit, I do that every day with or without you.
22. Pays for your cab.
Again, there’s this really cool app you can get for your phone called “Uber.” There’s another one called “Lyft.” They’re really cool. You should totally check them out.
23. Kisses your forehead.
Only if we’re dating and I’ve already decided I like you, sure.
24. Learns what you like in bed.
Oh, I completely agree. I need you coming back again and again even when you know I’m having sex with other women, so I’m going to learn what you like in bed as quickly as possible and do it to you every time we have sex. You’ll keep coming back to me for years and years since no other man will do this for you as consistently as I will.
25. Learns to read you and knows when something isn’t right.
I very much agree.
26. Still gives you butterflies.
I agree but that will end in several years, regardless of what I do, because of your female physiology. It won’t be my fault and will have literally nothing to do with me.
27. Reaches for your hand when walking.
Man, I hate holding hands, but I admit I do that with Pink Firefly sometimes because she likes it. But she’s my wife. Any other women now or in my past, no.
28. And kisses you for everyone to see.
Oh, FUCK yeah! I’ll make out with you with full tongue and grab your ass right there on the sidewalk in front of everyone, even if you’re 25 years younger than me, and piss everyone off about how inappropriate we’re being.
29. Pushes you to become better without wanting to change you too much.
That statement makes no sense.
And I’m not surprised.
30. He keeps you on track with your own goals.
Goals? You’re a woman. Let’s be honest. The odds are that “goals” aren’t really something you’re into.
31. Admires the life you have outside of him.
If your life outside of me is truly admirable, sure. Unlikely. Extraordinary people are rare.
32. Doesn’t get jealous.
A man who doesn’t get jealous? Ha HA! Good luck with that, Sweetie.
Alpha Male 2.0s only represent less than 5% of the male population (and even some of them get a little jealous).
33. He teaches you without belittling you.
Makes you laugh until you’re crying.
I don’t disagree, except that I’m aware that making you laugh creates entertainment rather than attraction, so I’m not going to overdo it.
35. Has deep emotional conversations.
Only if we’re dating. If you’re just an FB, no.
36. Works through fights and doesn’t walk away.
Wrongo! You can disagree with me all you want, but if you raise your voice, insult me, or threaten anything, you’re going to get instantly soft nexted and I’ll have sex with the next woman on the list, who in all likelihood is younger and/or hotter than you.
If you don’t like that, remember that you’re an adult and thus have the ability to disagree with me without losing your cool. Or are you a child?
37. Respects your privacy.
I agree but that’s a two-way street, Pumpkin. Too many a women demand that a man respect her privacy then turn right around and try to get into his phone when he’s sleeping or in the shower.
38. Present when you need him.
Dude. You’re going to need me all the fucking time and I’m busy working on my Mission. If you want a man who is present “when you need him,” make sure you go after a guy who doesn’t make very much money, doesn’t have a very exciting life or future, and has lots of free time. That isn’t me. Thank god.
39. Doesn’t cancel often but makes it up to you when he does.
I agree but that’s another one of those two-way streets…
40. He shows you his favorite places.
Do you really want to go the Warhammer store?
Do you really want to go camping in the rain when it’s 40 degrees Fahrenheit out in the Mount Jefferson wilderness?
Yeah. I don’t think so.
41. Values trust and honesty.
I agree, but again, two-way street! So… since you value trust and honesty, when you start having a DM conversation with your ex-boyfriend over social media, you’re going to immediately tell your current boyfriend all about it, right? Right?
42. Remembers little details you tell him.
Sweetheart, I’m too busy running three companies, traveling the world, being a good father, losing weight and having sex with multiple women. It’s very unlikely I’m going to remember any of your little details. If you want someone who does that, go lesbian and date another woman.
43. The guy who makes sure you text him when you get home.
Every fucking time you go home? Again, I ask: Are you a child?
44. Who doesn’t mind hanging out with your family.
If we’re married / living together, sure, to a degree. Otherwise, no.
45. Or you when you sing too loudly in the car to songs he doesn’t like. He doesn’t change the station.
If it’s country western I’m changing the station.
And putting on some Ozzy.
46. Travels just to see you.
What??? No, no, no. You have this backwards. If you want to be with me, you’re coming to see me. Otherwise go date someone else. I live in a city of over two million people, meaning that statistically there are plenty of hot women where I live. Therefore, it would make no sense for me to spend any time and money to travel to you when I can get whatever I want right here in my own town.
47. And asks you how your day was.
If we’re married or living together, sure. Otherwise I don’t care.
48. Someone who never makes you question how he feels about you.
Are you fucking kidding me? Kitten, you’re a girl. You’re always going to question how you feel about me. That’s what girls do.
49. Tells you when he’s proud of you.
Just don’t expect it very often because it won’t be.
50. He likes you best when you’re in a t-shirt with your hair pulled back.
If you have big tits, sure.
51. He knows when to apologize and how to make it up to you.
I agree but that’s another one of those oh-so-lovely two-way streets. Women often expect men to apologize to them but they (the women) never seem to want to apologize to men.
52. Makes you laugh just looking at your phone.
53. You don’t run out of things to say.
That would be your fault.
54. He pushes you out of your comfort zone.
If we’re married or living together, a little bit, sure. Otherwise I don’t care enough.
55. Try this food. Go to this place. Read this book. Watch this movie.
If it’s something I think you’ll like, sure, but do you really want to go see the new Rambo movie?
56. And you grow from it.
Your personal growth is your responsibility, not mine.
57. When he wins over your heart and doesn’t stop trying.
If I have to “keep trying” to win your heart after it’s been won, then I’m with the wrong person and you need to leave me immediately and go find someone else with whom you’re more compatible.
58. He makes you realize why every other relationship failed.
Yeah. Because you expected long-term monogamy to work.
59. Someone who touches you so subtly it means so much. – His hand on your leg under the table. His hand on your back when you’re standing next to him.
60. Someone who doesn’t mind that you take all the blankets.
Women always scream and bitch about fairness and then they say something like this.
Would you mind if I took all of your blankets at night? You would? Then, with all due respect, fuck you. It’s called fairness, Darling, something you women say you want (but really don’t).
61. Or you sleep on his side of the bed.
That’s fine, I’ll just move you over.
62. Or that your hair is always in his face when he sleeps.
Or that I burp and fart all night. Cool.
63. Someone who makes you breakfast in the morning and lets you sleep.
For special occasions, sure. I expect surprise morning blowjobs though. Two-way street!
64. Is passionate about his career.
I completely agree. The problem is that you don’t. While your high-achieving husband/boyfriend is working all the time you’ll bitch and moan that he doesn’t spend enough time with you.
65. Always says yes to you.
That would utterly destroy any attraction you ever had for me in short order, so no. I have to keep saying no to you on a semi-regular basis in order to maintain your attraction, or else the entire relationship will eventuality fail.
66. Orders you food, even though you say you’re not hungry, but he knows you’ll take his.
I agree, but I’m only ordering you enough food that I would eat it if you don’t. I’m not wasting my money.
67. Someone whose word is their bond.
I agree… two-way street though!
68. Labels don’t scare him, and he wants to call you his girlfriend.
Once you’ve qualified for OLTR after many months of MLTR (which is highly unlikely and takes a very long time) and we’ve had the OLTR Talk and you’ve survived it and are cool with it, then fine, I can call you “girlfriend” at that time. But if you expect that label just because you want it, sorry. That title is something you must earn.
69. Someone who still likes you when he’s seen you at your worst.
If you’re an FB or MLTR, no. If you’re at your worst in my presence, then you’re out.
If you’re an OLTR, then okay, but “your worst” better be an extraordinarily rare event.
70. And isn’t afraid to say I love you first.
Once you’ve qualified for OLTR (which, again, is unlikely and takes a very long time) and we’ve had the OLTR Talk and you’ve survived it and are cool with it, then I will wait for the right time to say this. The odds are that you’ll say it before me, but if I say it first that’s fine under those specific conditions.
Note: Last minute addition here. I know that some folks will comment and complain that this article is “frivolous” and imply that I do “frivolous” articles “all the time.” Number one, I don’t. Look at the Archive of this blog over the last several months and you’ll clearly see articles like this from me are quite rare. Number two, lots of guys in the red pill / manosphere world do content like this constantly, so you’re welcome. Number three, remember that I have lots of readers in several different sub-demographics and I need to appeal to all of them, not just the individual segment you happen to be in. Again, you’re welcome for all the free content.
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