Over the past year and a half, I have regularly received emails and comments at my blogs from men very worried about the #MeToo movement. I get questions like:
BD what is your advice about first dates now that #MeToo is a thing???
How can I calibrate my daygame to not get in trouble with #MeToo???
BD do you still recommend sexual escalation on the second date in the wake of #MeToo??? Isn’t that dangerous now???
What about having FBs and MLTRs now that we have #MeToo???
Fear of #MeToo is classic false Societal Programming. You hear about all of these horror stories regarding male celebrities over and over again and thus begin to assume that perhaps you too will have your reputation ruined or lose your next movie deal because of #MeToo.
But wait. Do you even have a reputation? Are you doing movie deals?
Probably not. And that’s my point.
#MeToo is a threat for two types of men, and only two types of men. If you are not in either of these categories, #MeToo will not affect you in any way whatsoever. You are 100% safe. No changes needed. Just proceed.
Here are those two categories:
- Men who work for medium-sized or large companies and regularly hit on women they work with.
- Wealthy public figures.
Those are the two types of men who need to worry about #MeToo. No other man needs to worry about it.
If you hit on women you work with, then you’re just flat out stupid. But I’ve addressed men like that already. Please read this article for what I said about men who date women they work with, and please note that I wrote that article in 2011 which was five years before #MeToo ever occurred. The bottom line is that we live in a hypersensitive left-wing society and hitting on women you work with in such a society is a stupid thing to do regardless of whatever is going in with Hollywood celebrities.
That brings me to the public figure aspect. Go back over the last five or six men you’ve heard about who have encountered massive problems in their careers because of #MeToo, and you’ll find pretty much all of these guys were either very wealthy, very powerful, very famous, or all three.
Are you very wealthy, powerful, and/or famous?
Then please, for fuck’s sake, stop worrying about #MeToo when you’re on a first date with some random girl you met on Tinder. I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t Bill O’Reilly or Aziz Ansari or Al Franken. Not only are you not rich or famous, but an online first date or street game has nothing whatsoever to do with your workplace, which is mostly what #MeToo is about.
Frankly, I am at more risk for problems with #MeToo than 99.9% of anyone in my audience, and I’m barely at risk, because even with one million readers per year, no one knows who the hell I am, nor cares.
Now, if you really are a public figure, then yeah, you need to take a few extra precautions, like I did here and here. You should also avoid one night stands like I do, perhaps avoid drugs and alcohol like I do, and be nice to women like I am. Fine. But not one guy who has asked me one of these “oh no what about #MeToo???” questions was a public figure. They were just normal, everyday guys no one gives a shit about that are at zero risk for from any #MeToo problems (again, unless you’re stupid and you hit on women where you work, but if you’re that desperate and dumb then I can’t help you.)
This all ties back to a much bigger issue that is common with men in the manosphere and the red pill, MGTOW, and MRA movements in particular. That is, giving much more power to left-wing/feminist movements than they actually have.
Women who are professional strippers or hookers very quickly start to operate under very skewed and highly inaccurate views of men because they assault themselves every day with a certain type of disgusting guy.
Men do the same thing when they spend day in and day out consuming non-stop content about how horrible or crazy women/feminists/SJWs are. They start walking around assuming that every woman they see is going to call the cops on them if they do anything even close to sexual. This is, of course, not only false, but insane.
I’ve been on a number of first and second dates that number well into the triple digits, plus have attempted to have sex with and really did have sex with an extremely high number of women, and most of all of this occurred in one of the most left-wing and feminist-infested cities in North America (Portland, Oregon), and I have literally never had any problem like this in my entire life. Not even close.
So please, if you’re one of those guys who walks around terrified and/or angry that every woman out there is ready to rip your balls off and throw you into prison, please read these two articles I wrote a few years back:
Unless you are a powerful public figure or you’re doing something really stupid, feminism isn’t a threat to you. #MeToo isn’t a threat to you. If you follow Alpha Male 2.0 relationship and financial structures, women aren’t a threat to you. (Women are only a threat to beta males and Alpha Male 1.0s dumb enough to get long-term monogamous or traditionally married.)
Seriously, calm the fuck down. Proceed as normal with your normal dating plan and usual relationships. If you become super famous or powerful, then sure, make some adjustments at that time. But for now, chill out and carry on.
Be a man.