A few weeks back I created a survey here at this blog asking about which dating sites worked the best for certain cities. Today I’ll share the results.
I asked for the specific names of dating sites or apps you guys used to actually meet at least three women in real life, plus the city in which you did this. Hundreds of you responded (thank you) and responses still trickle in, but here are the bulk of the results.
Most Effective Sites/Apps
First, I’ll cover the dating sites/apps that are most effective for most guys, irrelevant of location. Here’s the final breakdown of the top five most effective ones as reported by the respondents, in order, with my comments:
First Place – Tinder – 27%
27% of all men reported Tinder as one of the apps they’ve successfully used to meet real women in real life. 27% is, by far, the winner. On top of that, the vast majority of the respondents who selected Tinder as one of the successful apps they were using chose Tinder first, before any other site or app.
Interesting! For all the bitching and complaining men throw around about Tinder these days, for all the complaints about attention whores, flakes, and so on, Tinder is very clearly the number one dating app that men are using to successfully date online.
I’ll be honest; I was surprised. I wasn’t surprised that it was one of the biggest sites/apps, but I was surprised that it was not only number one, but number one by such a large margin. I mean, damn! The second–place app is only 15% of respondents and Tinder is almost double that.
I will re-iterate what I’ve said about Tinder before. Tinder is great for men dating within their own age range, meaning around plus or minus ten years within their own age. It clearly still works. However, Tinder is not good for much older men dating much younger women. I have had pretty much zero success with it under these conditions and many of you older guys have reported the same.
So, if you’re dating women in your age range, clearly you need to be using Tinder. If you’re an older bastard like me going after much younger women, you’re going to have to use other options. Which brings us to…
Second Place – Bumble – 15%
Second place, though a distant second, is Bumble. Now this wasn’t surprising to me at all. Bumble is pretty fantastic, and I consider it the overall “least-bad” dating site/app right now in terms of the widest level of both availability and effectiveness for most men. It’s not perfect, but it works, and it tends to not have the age problem Tinder has.
How crazy is it that perhaps the most effective dating site/app right now is the one we all poo-pooed several years ago (myself included) when we found that that there was this crazy new app that “put women in charge.” I would have never expected it to do this well, but here we are.
For now, Bumble is clearly a good option. Use it.
Third Place – OkCupid – 13%
Another surprise. About two years ago OkCupid pretty much murdered its entire search function and algorithms, making what was once the best dating site/app in the universe something that barely worked in many cities.
Yet, the data is clear; it’s the third most effective dating/site app right now despite its numerous problems. Very interesting.
Fourth Place – Plenty of Fish – 8%
POF is still hanging in there, amazingly. I personally stopped using POF several years ago, but I knew it still worked. Looks like a decent number of you are still getting dates via POF which is pretty good.
Tied for Fifth Place – Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel and Match.com, all at 6%
Hinge being at fifth place is not a surprise at all for me. I always figured Hinge would be the next up-and-coming dating site/app. I’m actually surprised it’s not doing better than fifth place, but perhaps it will grow over time.
I’m impressed with Coffee Meets Bagel being at 6% also. CMB is the love child of Tinder and Match.com, a swipe app for slightly older folks (over 33) looking for more serious relationships. My guess is that CMB will soon replace Match.com completely. I’m frankly shocked that Match.com is showing this well, but it’s still the go-to place for over-33 divorced women looking for husband number two.
Here’s a few more rankings, if you were curious:
Badoo came in at sixth place at 4%, eHarmony, Happn, and Zoosk all tied for seventh place at 2% each. These sites came in at 1% or less: MeetMe, Skout, Tagged, Meetic, Hitch, JDate, How About We, and Speeddate.com. Everything else on my original list got literally zero responses.
Custom Write-In Sites/Apps
In the survey I provided a space where guys could write in any site/app they used to successfully meet at least three women in real life that I hadn’t listed. The results were interesting.
Number one on this list is FetLife. This is the dating site for you kinky BDSM bastards. Awesome. I have never used this site myself but a lot of you have emailed me about this over the years. An advantage of this site is that women on FetLife likely have far less ASD than normal women, making getting to sex very fast on Fetlife something much easier than on normal dating/sites apps. I highly recommend you guys check this out unless you like your sex extremely vanilla.
The strong second place winner on this list was WeChat. WeChat? Really? Huh.
For those of you who don’t know, WeChat is the Chinese version of WhatsApp. It’s essentially a messaging app. Apparently a decent number of you guys are meeting Chinese girls (and other Asian women) via an app that I thought was mostly just a messaging app but can also double as a social media platform and dating app. Very cool, guys!
Other strongly showing regional apps are DateInAsia.com for Asians, Adopteunmec for French speakers, Filipino Cupid for Filipinos, ThaiFriendly.com for Thais.
Another big app a lot of you reported success with is Jswipe, which I didn’t even know about, but I’m not surprised it works, since it’s for dating Jewish women who are perhaps the most sex-positive of any race/religion I’ve ever come across.
A few of you older guys also reported that TheInnerCircle.co works very well, which is a dating site for higher-income folks. I have a feeling that some guys are using this to run pseudo-sugar daddy game, but whatever you guys are doing, it’s working.
Lastly, a huge number of you reported getting dates using normal social media, mostly Instagram and Facebook. I’ve also heard a lot of women meetting guys under a dating context using social media sites in the last year or so. As I’ve said before, I’ve predicted that social media game will start getting much more popular, and the data seems to reflect this. I’ll keep a closer eye on this as time goes on. I talk about social media game in the Ultimate Online Dating Manual. It works (I’ve done it many times), but it takes a little more time and rapport-building than normal online dating.
In terms of what sites work best in individual cities, that’s a little too complicated to go over here, so instead I’ve set up a table at the Alpha Male 2.0 Forums where you can review the results from reports from about 300 different guys all over the world. The exact thread is here. I don’t list every single app in every single city, just the top three per city. I may add more data later.
I will re-do this survey every few months to update the information.
Apparently, and you never know for sure about this stuff, Facebook is introducing a dating app into its platform later this year. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. It could be a game-changer, or it could fizzle into nothing, but I’ll be keeping a close watch on it and report what I find.