Kino means touching a woman in a sexual or non-sexual context during the pick-up or dating phase of your initial interactions with her. When kino is performed effectively, your odds of success with most women increase. You should consider kino as one of the skills necessary for dating success.

This doesn’t mean kino is always required. I’ve had many first and second dates where I didn’t kino the woman at all and we still had sex within my usual three hours. Regardless, when I did perform kino, it made a big difference, at least with most women.

I discuss kino in great detail in my primary dating book, Get To Sex Fast. One of the biggest questions I get about kino, at least in regards to first dates, is how to handle kino when the seating logistics aren’t ideal.

As I talk about in Get To Sex Fast, the ideal seating arrangement for a first date is when you are seated right next to her. Often, many nicer bars have couches you can sit on, and those are great. You both sit down on the couch and boom, she’s right next to you for easy kino.

The next best seating arrangement is when you’re both sitting next to each other at a bar or table, for the same reasons.

The next best arrangement is when you’re both sitting at a table but you’re still adjacent to each other, with only the corner of the table between you. For example, you’re sitting to the north and she’s sitting to the east. There’s still a table in-between the two of you, but you’re still close enough where kino is pretty easy.

But here’s a question I get all the time: What if we’re sitting directly across from each other? The table is in the way! How do you kino then???

There are two answers to that.

First, realize that it’s your job to make sure that doesn’t fucking happen in the first place. You are the one who determines date logistics, as I explained here. Not her. You. This shit is your responsibility.

So, when you walk into the bar, coffee shop, or whatever, don’t sit at a table where the only seating configuration is across from her. Think this through and instead sit somewhere where kino will be more natural.

But what if she sits at a table like that herself? Or what if she gets there first and she’s already sitting at a table like that?

Then just walk over to her, say your hellos, and just say, “Let’s sit over here,” and then move her to a better spot. I have done this on first dates literally scores of times and I’ve never had a problem. It’s also fantastic Alpha frame-setting and EFA.

But BD, what if the place doesn’t have any seating arrangements like what you’re talking about and ALL the tables are the sit-across kind?

Then whose fault is that, dumbass?

Yours.

As I’ve talked about at this blog and in Get To Sex Fast, you need to choose first date locations that are ideal for these kinds of logistics. That means, ones you already know have easy tables or couches to sit on. If you “end up” at a first date location where 100% of all the tables are the sit-across kind, that means you fucked this up. Again, bad date logistics are always, your fault. Always.

That being said, I realize life is life, and there will be odd scenarios where this just isn’t possible. Just remember that if you’re doing all of this correctly, these scenarios are going to be the unusual exception to the rule and not something that happens on a regular basis. I’ve been on literally hundreds of first dates, and I’ve had the sit-across problem too, but it’s statistically extremely rare because I make sure to keep all of my logistics within my control.

So, okay, fine, I’m a dumbass and it’s all my fault. Then what happens if you find yourself in this unusual exception?

The answer is that you just kino anyway. Kino, when a woman is sitting across from you with a table in the way, requires a little more balls and confidence, so if you’re lacking these things, it may be a little more difficult, but do your best. Here are a few examples of what I’ve done in these scenarios.

– When her hands are on the table, touch them softly, just for a few seconds, then withdraw. (This is what the PUAs call “push/pull”.)

– Tell her, “Give me your hand for a minute.” She will either comply or look at you strangely. If she looks at you strangely, say, “Yeah, give me your hand for a minute.” When she does (even if she has an odd look on her face), just touch her hand for a few seconds, and then let it go and lean back again.

– Tell her, “Lean forward for a second.” When she does, reach out and touch her hair for a few seconds, then let go and lean back again.

I have done all of these things plus many others when there’s a table in-between us. Again, I’ve never had a problem. However, I say these things in a very confident-but-relaxed, don’t-give-a-shit manner. If you say these things while you’re obviously nervous (beta) or command them like a barking drill sergeant (Alpha Male 1.0) then you’re just going to spike her ASD and/or damage her attraction.

If what I’m talking about seems beyond your confidence level or ability, start practicing this stuff when you’re seated in an optional kino scenario, like when you’re sitting next to her. Just ask her to see her hand, then touch it for a few seconds. (If you’re at an intermediate or advanced level of skill, you would not ask; you would just touch her hands, shoulders, hair, or even thigh.)

Another option in a sit-across scenario is to just skip kino altogether and just not worry about it this time around. This is fine provided you do literally everything else correctly on that date. If you’re doing literally everything I recommend in Get To Sex Fast regarding all the dos and don’ts for first dates, it’s okay to skip kino. As I said, I often have and still got to sex quickly anyway.

However, if you skip kino and you’re not doing everything correctly, then the lack of kino can and often will hurt you. So keep that in mind.

I also recommend that if no kino occurs on the first date, make sure a lot of kino occurs on the second date (and ideally sex on the second date, which is the entire objective if you’re following my system). This means that if sex does not occur on the second date, a shitload of kino plus as much sexual activity as you can muster did occur.

Another question I get about this is: If you can only sit in-between tables, why not just sit next to her?

You can, and I agree this is a very confident and Alpha move, but it’s also too threatening for most women on a first date. Thus, I don’t recommend doing that on a first date, though for a second date that kind of thing might be fine (assuming the second date isn’t at your place, and it should be), particularly if you had good chemistry on the first date and she seemed very interested or relaxed.

Just remember that the core message of this article is to take the time necessary for prepping your first dates so that kino logistics aren’t going to be a problem in the first place. That way, most of this sit-across hassle isn’t even necessary.

46 Comments on “How To Handle Kino Logistics On A First Date

  1. The 120% perfect spot is a corner couch behind a table. Makes her feel comfortable, safe and secluded, she can face you but there’s nothing in the way.

    Also whatever the seating arrangement, staring intently at her rings, bracelets or the like and then just taking her hand and making guesses about the story behind said jewelry is easy and natural.

  2. Seating arrangement is critical.  I don’t fucking care if it’s a booth.  I sit right the fuck next to her.  I don’t care what anyone thinks.  Mostly you’ll get a lot of women staring at you wondering why their man is such a boring pussy.  Anyways. I just tilt my body so I can look at her while she blabbers on.  I went on about 10 first dates before I started sitting next to them.  Never got anywhere on any of them.  Barely got a second date.  AS soon as I stopped being a pussy and started sitting next to them it changed.  I fuck every woman I go out with now.  Every single one unless I decide later I can’t fit her in or she isn’t attractive enough.  It’s never because they decide they don’t want a second date.  Obviously a lot more goes into it besides just sitting next them as the article explains but that is critical if you want a higher rate of successful dates and quick lays.

    I picked everything up from here (buddies filled in the blanks bd can’t hold your hand), talking to women about it, and just ran with it.  Once you get comfortable with this you it opens up all other types of approach and game.

    Spot on BD

    Oh yeah and the push pull techinique is gold. Drives them nuts. They’re so used to men not being able to control themselves once they get started. When a man touches and then pulls back it sets something off in them.

  3. What do you do/say if you try using kino and a woman says not to touch her. I touched a woman’s hair once and it annoyed her so much, she broke off the meet. Obviously she was a fucking bitch and was over 45. I just said hey I’m just a touchy guy and I don’t apologise for it.

  4. What do you do/say if you try using kino and a woman says not to touch her.

    Every woman will have made her decision regarding you within 5 minutes of the start of the date. Rejoice whenever you have an early opportunity to learn what that decision was.

  5. What do you do/say if you try using kino and a woman says not to touch her. I touched a woman’s hair once and it annoyed her so much, she broke off the meet. Obviously she was a fucking bitch and was over 45. I just said hey I’m just a touchy guy and I don’t apologise for it.

    You have to read that situation before hand.  I inch my way towards it in baby steps for women over 40.  read very well what kind of women she is and what she will allow.  If you think she might be a bitch about being touched you definitely don’t go for the hair.  Start out with a piece of jewelry or a tattoo on her arm.  Or excuse yourself to the bathroom and slide your hand across her back as you walk away and watch her reaction.  If she looks cold and unaffected you wait til shes had a drink and try it again.  Unlike BD I find women more open to getting kissed first than having a dude playing with their hair.  I usually put their hair behind their ear after I have already gone for a kiss, which I do very quickly if all the other touching has worked.  But I am a first date kisser which is not a supported technique but it works for me.

  6. I ask for her hand, but usually to examine a ring and ask her about it and have her tell me about it while I hold her hand. Similar for other parts of her body (neck for earrings, an ankle bracelet if she has one, etc.); keeping the plausible deniability of discussing something above board while obviously making sensual overtures with body language and touch.

    I’ll often start off across the table from her and then just get up and move over and sit right next to her, after some talk and establishing some degree of rappoire (and  of course deciding that I do find her attractive and want to make this date go somewhere), saying something like ‘it’s loud in here I want to sit closer so I can hear you’ coupled with a ‘…and besides I think you’re attractive’ or ‘…and we might as well see how it feels to be close to each other that’s why were here, right?’.

  7. It’s been years since I’ve had a date.  Most girls I meet just want to meet out at a bar somewhere.  Maybe it’s because I stopped even trying for anyone over 30

  8. Wow this is interesting.

    I’ve never made sure to find ways to sit so kino is easy.  I’m always sitting at sit-across tables, but still have no issues.  Most women have one of the following on the date:
    Bracelet
    Tattoo
    Something hanging from clothing/arm part of their outfit etc.

    I’ve never had trouble anyway, because I just grab usually their arm very gently and look at their bracelet or tattoo and ask a question about it.  If nothing else, I’ll adjust their sleeve a little or ask something about their clothing, or even sometimes pretend to brush something off of it.  I do this so there is a little excuse for the touching and then touch a little longer than necessary.  Every.. Single.. Time I kino them the first time, I can see a visible reaction on their face, and it’s always been a good sign.  This was something I only learned in the last couple years, and as a man, I never would have thought how much of an impact it seems to make, but it is huge to a woman.

  9. What do you do/say if you try using kino and a woman says not to touch her. I touched a woman’s hair once and it annoyed her so much, she broke off the meet. Obviously she was a fucking bitch and was over 45.

    You just answered your own question. (She was well over age 33; high ASD.)

    I would also work “up” to touching hair if you’re new at this. Start with hands. Hair is further down the line (particularly with higher-ASD women like a 45 year-old).

    Unlike BD I find women more open to getting kissed first than having a dude playing with their hair.

    I don’t disagree with that. I just know that kissing on a first date is a huge mistake (unless you think sex is virtually guaranteed at that meet).

  10. How would you go about doing kino and other parts of game in a country like Vietnam ? Few girls did try to “explain” to me how touching is inappropriate because we are not boyfriend/girlfriend and that other people will think that we are boyfriend/girlfriend, i said i understand and i proceed with kino, i thought that was the best option.

    I am really confident and i do kino with all girls i go to date with, even if we sit across each other because its easy, i just have a problem with opening new girls and i think i give too much of a player vibe even tho i buy them coffee or drink on the first date… Should i just scan through the more conservative ones and just hit the liberal ones or should i try with conservatives for a while to see if its possible ?

  11. How would you go about doing kino and other parts of game in a country like Vietnam ? Few girls did try to “explain” to me how touching is inappropriate because we are not boyfriend/girlfriend and that other people will think that we are boyfriend/girlfriend, i said i understand and i proceed with kino, i thought that was the best option.

    Every culture is different and I can’t comment on Vietnam since I have never been there. If you indeed live in a less “touchy” or more conservative culture, then just skip kino on the first date. However, as I said in the article, that means your margin for error is even smaller and you need to do everything else perfectly.

  12. BD you said, “I don’t disagree with that. I just know that kissing on a first date is a huge mistake (unless you think sex is virtually guaranteed at that meet).”

    How can I gauge if sex is guaranteed or not without going for a kiss? I do get laid some but I am loosing some girls by kissing on first date and some by not kissing on first date.

  13. How can I gauge if sex is guaranteed or not without going for a kiss? I do get laid some but I am loosing some girls by kissing on first date and some by not kissing on first date.

    1. It’s pretty hard, but it can be done sometimes, and usually it’s only with women under the age of 23. It’s usually when she’s obviously into you a lot and not trying to hide it at all.

    3. It’s rare. You should never rely on it and just consider it an fun bonus when it happens. It’s definitely the rare exception to the rule (unless you’re doing pure SNL night game or something very different from my system).

    and some by not kissing on first date.

    You will never lose any women by not kissing on the first date if you’re doing everything else I teach on that date.

  14. Blackdragon.  Article idea.  “When there’s another guy in the picture.”  I’ve been on the hunt with a few different girls and you can always tell there is another guy they are either currently with or deciding between you and him.  Sometimes they say it, but others they don’t say it but you can sense it.  How do you handle these situations and does anything change in your process.  I usually just keep it standard process but in the past I have lost the girl because maybe I didn’t give a little more attention.  Does anything benefit by giving a little more during this situation.

  15. Blackdragon. Article idea. “When there’s another guy in the picture.”

    Good idea. Added.

  16. Great post as always

    In this case would the second date be over at my place like a text saying “let’s chill at my place” or “let’s watch xyz movie at my place”?

    Also, any advice for lasting longer in bed?

  17. BD you have been one of my greatest inspirations in the last five years.

    Agreed. I always choose a date spot where I know we will be able to sit side by side. That’s also the reason why I never do a formal date in a restaurant. There is too much social pressure there anyways, it “feels” like conventional dating and sets the wrong frame.

    However. IF a face-to-face sitting situation happens anyway, in addition to BD’s suggestions I would add a couple of tricks:

    * Showing vacation pictures on my phone. Best done while waiting between servings. You just move your chair, place it next to hers, take out your phone and browse your pictures. Now’s the chance to get close to her and touch her!
    * Selfie time. Probably best after the dinner / drink is over. Get close to her. Take her in your left arm, and hold your phone in your right hand. Selfie.
    * Leaving the venue hands in hands. You already have done one of the above (or both). When you leave the venue, you take her hand from a position of smooth authority. Then walk out of the venue, leading her in a “follow me” fashion.

    I do that all the time and it has worked wonders for me.

    How would you go about doing kino and other parts of game in a country like Vietnam ? Few girls did try to “explain” to me how touching is inappropriate because we are not boyfriend/girlfriend and that other people will think that we are boyfriend/girlfriend, i said i understand and i proceed with kino, i thought that was the best option.

    Regarding dating in Vietnam and “conservative” countries. From my experience it is more a matter of social pressure, people around who may see her. It is more important there to “go under the radar”. Choose discreet venues with little crowd. Always be aware of who may be watching. Girls are always much more acutely aware of the social surrounding than we are, and it’s even truer in “conservative” countries.

    Pierre

     

  18. Definitely use kino in all your female interactions and it does help compared to not using it at all, but if a woman isn’t attracted to you and/or just isn’t feeling it, through no fault of your own most of the time, even with kino being correctly used, it only goes so far.

    I do find it harder on bitches who are over 35, if they don’t want to be touched, not all of the time, but sometimes. I tried to kino a girl who was 20 and didn’t want to be touched, but she was a dumb bitch, so it was no loss.

     

  19. Showing vacation pictures on my phone

    It’s way better to get her to show you some pictures. That way she’s qualifying herself, gives you a great number of conversational topics to choose from, including the question of more risque photos, and given the typical number of pictures in a girl’s phone, you’ll be able to sit next to her for much longer : )

    Also talking about your travels isn’t that much of a DHV. Either she has traveled before to similar places and won’t be impressed, or she hasn’t and will be unable to relate.

    Not sure about selfies and hand holding.

  20. BD you have been one of my greatest inspirations in the last five years.

    Glad I could help!

    Showing vacation pictures on my phone. Best done while waiting between servings. You just move your chair, place it next to hers, take out your phone and browse your pictures. Now’s the chance to get close to her and touch her!

    That’s good.

    Selfie time. Probably best after the dinner / drink is over. Get close to her. Take her in your left arm, and hold your phone in your right hand. Selfie.

    Only for women under the age of about 24 or so; for those girls it’s fun. But most older women are going to get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of something like this.

    Leaving the venue hands in hands. You already have done one of the above (or both). When you leave the venue, you take her hand from a position of smooth authority. Then walk out of the venue, leading her in a “follow me” fashion.

    No. Holding hands is a heavy boyfriend behavior and should be avoided in just about all stages with the exception of high-end MLTRs or an OLTR. (I don’t even like doing it with Pink Firefly, and physical touch is my primary love language.)

    If you’re taking about just holding her hand as you lead her out of the bar and then let it go once you’re outside, that’s fine. But if you’re walking down the street while still holding her hand, Jesus, no.

    (Possible exception to the rule: touchy-feely cultures like Italy, Spain, Brazil, etc.)

    I do find it harder on bitches who are over 35, if they don’t want to be touched, not all of the time, but sometimes. I tried to kino a girl who was 20 and didn’t want to be touched, but she was a dumb bitch, so it was no loss.

    Calling women bitches, and/or viewing them as such, is not a frame that will increase your happiness in life. (Even women over 33 aren’t “bitches.” They just have irrationally higher levels of ASD.)

  21. Hey BD,

    What about the scenario where you come first to the bar, sit in a booth where it could be easy for her to sit beside you, but when she comes to the date, she sits across from you?

    I usually come first to the date because I’m quite punctual, and so far it’s been a great interest-gauging technique when I think about it. If they on their own sit beside me, the lay on the subseqent date, and her high attraction, were almost guaranteed. If not, I usually had a high-ASD girl to deal with.

  22. What about the scenario where you come first to the bar, sit in a booth where it could be easy for her to sit beside you, but when she comes to the date, she sits across from you?

    I’m assuming that means 100% of the available tables are booths. If that’s the case, just roll with it. (If that’s not the case, why the hell did you sit at a booth?)

    I usually come first to the date because I’m quite punctual

    A mistake. You’ll get better statistical results if you arrive about 5 minutes (but no more!) after she does. I go into detail on exactly how to do that in Get To Sex Fast.

  23. A mistake.

    I know, I read the book, but to me it’s way too outcome dependent if I arrive a bit early, then wait/hide somewhere until she arrives, so that I can make my entrance. I agree with you, for some reason women like to wait a bit for their date, but do you think it’s such a dealbreaker if I arrive earlier? I don’t think I’ve ever lost lays because of that, but don’t know for sure. Do you always arrive after her?

  24. But most older women are going to get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of something like this.

    Yeah ive noticed this those older women are hyper crazy insane paranoid about taking pictures. Young women think its normal.

    Definitely use kino in all your female interactions and it does help compared to not using it at all, but if a woman isn’t attracted to you and/or just isn’t feeling it, through no fault of your own most of the time, even with kino being correctly used, it only goes so far.

    I do find it harder on bitches who are over 35, if they don’t want to be touched, not all of the time, but sometimes. I tried to kino a girl who was 20 and didn’t want to be touched, but she was a dumb bitch, so it was no loss.

    A girl who doesn’t want to be touched is either not into you at all or has some strange trauma / psychological baggage. For me a girl refusing touching completely is a sign to end the date and forget about her. If she does it on a second date at my house I kick her out.

     

  25. do you think it’s such a dealbreaker if I arrive earlier?

    I didn’t say it was a dealbreaker. It just always causes you to lose a few points (read this for that reference). If you don’t care about losing a few points, then go ahead. I don’t like to lose any points, ever, for any reason, if I can help it.

    Do you always arrive after her?

    Yes. It’s a few extra points for near-zero effort, so I do it every time (barring rare exceptions to the rule).

  26. ‘it’s loud in here I want to sit closer so I can hear you’ coupled with a ‘…and besides I think you’re attractive’ or ‘…and we might as well see how it feels to be close to each other that’s why were here, right?’.

    Wow thats really good. I wanna try this next time.

    How do you flirt with a woman other than touching and giving direct compliments like this? ( I don’t wanna give too many direct compliments so early on )

  27. Thanks for the article. Have you coached a person who became significantly more attractive, what were their experiences?

    I think you need to break the touch barrier to get comfortable IF she already finds you attractive (being on a date doesn’t guarantee that she does). Otherwise game/kino/stories about her bracelet are irrelevant, also she may tell her friends that you’re weird and you will develop a reputation in that social circle (nicely done, mate). Generally women are comfortable when a man’s confidence correlates to his looks.

    Be tall, not fat, and have an attractive face, then most women will be open to your advances. If you’re not a douche and have your life together, most women will also want an LTR with you.

    Key points: Norwood 1 hariline, no gray hair, deep set eyes (google hunter eyes/no upper eyelid exposure), healthy looking skin, forward grown maxilla, wide smile with straight teeth (no dark corners), strong jawline, wide neck, “warrior skull”. See Looks Theory on Youtube.

    A small number of attractive men are very introverted and benefit from dating advice. But most readers don’t realize that looks is key, not “techniques”. I would say less than 10% of men are attractive (face, height, not fat).

  28. I think you need to break the touch barrier to get comfortable IF she already finds you attractive

    Scientific studies show that people like you more if they think you like them.  Regardless my theory is always she is physically attracted to me or she wouldn’t have agreed to meet me.  You have to know that in person you look as good or better than your pictures.  I’ve never been wrong about this.  I’ve never had a woman show up who wasn’t physically attracted to me. That doesn’t make sense, it’s illogical.. What happens is men turn women off with their actions and personality or show up looking less then their pics.  Women should tell you that you are more attractive in person.  Mainly because they can’t see your frame in a picture.  That attractive alpha male persona that you have .  All you have to do is create “chemistry” to take it from physical attraction to “I’m going to fuck him”.  That shit about a woman knowing she’s going to fuck in the first 5 minutes is nonsense. That’s amateur shit that will get you laid but not consistently and Predictably. I decide whether we fuck.

    So you give them that big hug, grab their hand, warm smile, tell them their beautiful (even if they ain’t, you want sex not marriage), and watch them smile.  It’s sales 101.  People like those who like them and compliment them.  Then you get close, touch, listen, and she’ll be putty in your hands.  It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

  29. All you have to do is create “chemistry”

    And how do you do that?

    Ive had loads of dates that went nowehere and had loads of girls who came for 2nd – 7th date and left after that.

  30. Have you coached a person who became significantly more attractive

    Yes. Many.

    what were their experiences?

    They got laid. Usually they were either going through a dry spell or they had an ugly monogamous GF.

    But most readers don’t realize that looks is key, not “techniques”.

    Incorrect. They’re both important, not one or the other. Read this and this.

  31. Hey BD, it says Diamond level has access to personal coaching for extra fee, but what are the prices? I’d like to determine the total costs if I wanted personal coaching. Or do you prefer to discuss your prices by email?

  32. But most readers don’t realize that looks is key, not “techniques”.

    Incorrect. They’re both important, not one or the other. Read this and this.

    Of course its not just looks, there are so many girls who leave the guy or dont continue because of stuff he said or did even though they find him super attractive. Saying its only looks sounds like the person saying it has limited or no experience with women.

  33. And how do you do that?
    Ive had loads of dates that went nowehere and had loads of girls who came for 2nd – 7th date and left after that.

    My way is to seduce every single time I see her.  Like a do over.  I usually do first-second date seduction for a couple weeks along with fucking until there’s “chemistry” (which I think is bullshit code for a lack of attraction).  They will still leave for whatever reason…  Especially younger women under 25..  They’re so unpredictable with time they contact you, what phone number they have, ex’s, bfs, pregnancies, where they live, and etc.  What matters is will they remember how you “made them feel” a year later when they break up from their ex, move back into town, and etc.   And I don’t fuck that up by being a prick, clingy, desperate, demanding, jealous, bitter, petty, proud, turning beta, and etc.  Those were the biggest reasons women never came back despite good seduction and chemistry (attraction) when i was younger.

    I never get the “no chemistry” excuse or that she isn’t attracted to me after the umpteenth date that some guys I know get.

  34. Key points: Norwood 1 hariline, no gray hair, deep set eyes (google hunter eyes/no upper eyelid exposure), healthy looking skin, forward grown maxilla, wide smile with straight teeth (no dark corners), strong jawline, wide neck, “warrior skull”. See Looks Theory on Youtube.
    A small number of attractive men are very introverted and benefit from dating advice. But most readers don’t realize that looks is key, not “techniques”. I would say less than 10% of men are attractive (face, height, not fat).

    Many of these traits will help, sure, but putting this much emphasis on looks comes across as making excuses. Moreover, the emphasis on things that cannot be changed or can only be changed at great pain and expense (e.g. forward grown maxilla, warrior skull) makes you sound like an incel, or at least someone who subscribes to incel theory.

    For most physical attributes, “good enough” is farther from perfect than you might think. For example: You don’t need perfectly straight teeth as long as they’re somewhat close. Yellow teeth, on the other hand, do hurt your chances, but that’s a problem most people can correct in a month or two using off-the-shelf whitening strips. Another example: Some of the most attractive women I’ve seen were on the arm of a guy who was carrying around 10-20 extra pounds. Being obese will hurt you, but the idea that you have to be built like Ryan Reynolds to attract a cute or hot woman is absurd.

  35. Saying its only looks sounds like the person saying it has limited or no experience with women.

    Agreed. That’s exactly what I tend to think when I see guys saying things like that.

  36. When telling her to give you her hand, do you justify why–like commenting on one of her rings or her bracelet? Or do you just continue the conversation while touching it like nothing is happening? Same for asking her to lean forward and playing with her hair.

  37. Question: if she arrives there before you, already has sat down, and ordered, you still would suggest potentially changing spots for better logistics, etc?

    Thanks!

  38. When telling her to give you her hand, do you justify why–like commenting on one of her rings or her bracelet?

    If you’re a beginner, sure, that’s fine.

    If you’re intermediate or advanced, no. Just tell her to give you her hand. That’s what I do.

    if she arrives there before you, already has sat down, and ordered, you still would suggest potentially changing spots for better logistics, etc?

    Always! If it’s necessary, that is. If it’s not necessary, if she’s already sitting in a spot where the logistics are ideal, then just sit there. I’ve heard of some guys recommending that you always move her to show a more dominant frame or something, and I think that’s silly if there’s no logistical reason to do so.

  39. if she arrives there before you, already has sat down, and ordered, you still would suggest potentially changing spots for better logistics, etc?

    Always! If it’s necessary, that is. If it’s not necessary, if she’s already sitting in a spot where the logistics are ideal, then just sit there. I’ve heard of some guys recommending that you always move her to show a more dominant frame or something, and I think that’s silly if there’s no logistical reason to do so.

    I dont get the complaints about this – like why do you meet inside the place? I’ve had like 50+ dates where I have met the girl outside near a landmark and then a short walk from the bar I intended to go to. I did not have a single objection / complaint about this ever from any one of those girls. Some of these dates were in other countries while traveling so it is also not a city/country specific things. Just don’t meet them inside and you don’t have this problem!

  40. I’ve had like 50+ dates where I have met the girl outside

    Me too..  I almost always meet them outside the place.  I have had some women act weird about it but they’re the same ones who also take a lot longer to fuck and don’t want to give me their phone numbers until we meet.

  41. I’ve had like 50+ dates where I have met the girl outside

    Me too..  I almost always meet them outside the place.  I have had some women act weird about it but they’re the same ones who also take a lot longer to fuck and don’t want to give me their phone numbers until we meet.

    Interesting. I sort of stumbled into doing this when I met a girl at a bar recently and discovered what a powerful DHV it can be. I was showing up later than I wanted to and was surprised to find her standing outside, noodling on her phone waiting for me. Also surprised to find that she was WAY better looking than her pics, and dressed really sharp. A genuine hottie.

    There were floor-to-ceiling windows and a small patio at the front of this place so everyone inside could see out and see that she was waiting for me and watch us meet and come in. Of course I met her as one should, giving her a big hug and acting like we already knew each other.

    Oh the difference! As a nearing-50 older guy I am generally invisible in that sort of scene, no matter how well I clean up but walking in and for the duration of our date women at the bar were STARING at us, and me. Even had one girl say hello and try to flirt with me when my date was in the ladies room.
    Now I find myself choosing this venue and places like it more often (and saying ‘meet you just outside X bar’) to get this effect. For a small town where the folks in the bar either know you or can find out pretty easily who you are a DHV move like this helps to sow some productive seeds.

  42. @Cargoman

    Also, any advice for lasting longer in bed?

    I don’t see any advice about lasting longer in bed in the erectile dysfunction article, matter of fact it’s sort of the opposite problem you’re talking about. If I understand well you don’t have any erectile dysfunction: you get hard no problem, but you orgasm earlier than you would ideally like.

    My advice is to train during sex, and if necessary also during solo masturbation to “edge”, that means to stay very close to orgasm for a very long time. I don’t know how long you currently last before orgasm and ejaculation, but I can last easily for 45 minutes, anything under that is because the woman I am fucking came too fast and is starting to get sore, and I don’t feel satisfied. 1h30 minutes or 2h of sex before ejaculation is what I like. I do get the rare premature ejaculation under 15 minutes of sex, but that occurs really rarely like 2% of the time. Often I even decide to not orgasm so that I can enjoy better a second session, or if I am having sex almost every day. So my advice is to train to edge at least 1 hour before orgasm and releasing your ejaculation. I don’t recommend masturbating often, but when you do masturbate, then try to do it during minimum 1 hour, possibly 2 hours –  it’s probably easier at first to train with masturbation as you are in total control of the stimulation on your cock but it is necessary to train also during sex with women. Best is to try to not orgasm at all and just stop masturbating after 1 hour. During these exercises you will need to use your Kegel muscles. So you may have to focus on them too.

    On top of this, when having sex, train the women to immediately stop moving when you ask them, maybe use a safe word. So that when you feel you’re getting too close you can regain control and hold it. It’s an excellent moment to take your cock out and focus on her pleasure, eventually squeeze hard the tip of your cock as it helps calming the excitation. Contract your Kegel muscles to the max, to add pressure you can also even press hard between your balls and your ass where the Kegel muscles are. When I say focus on her pleasure, this means focus on her clit with your fingers or your mouth and tongue, caress her everywhere, tease her nipples, stimulate her G spot with 2 fingers in “the claw”shape to make her squirt, etc… And when your cock is calmer you can resume fucking her or getting a blowjob, etc…

  43. 1h30 minutes or 2h of sex

    lol, come on….

    Also, any advice for lasting longer in bed?

    Anyways ju ust change positions.  For example, start out with fingering, then let her suck your dick, then fuck missionary, go to 69 with her sitting on your face and sucking your dick, roll her over and pound her good, and then have her get on top.  Every time you feel like your going to cum change your position, slow down, or think about your some gross woman you saw.  But sometimes you have errands to run or some shit and if she isn’t willing to get a quick bang in then find lower maintenance chicks to fuck.  I have literally never had a chick complain about being bent over a bathroom sink for a 5 min fuck.  Just don’t make it a habit.

  44. First, realize that it’s your job to make sure that doesn’t fucking happen in the first place. You are the one who determines date logistics, as I explained here. Not her. You. This shit is yourresponsibility.

    Is anything her responsability, ever? Lol. ‘f course not, you all, men and women, lay persons and courts and “social scientists” and what have you, agree on that so why would it change ever.

    But BD, what if the place doesn’t have any seating arrangements like what you’re talking about and ALL the tables are the sit-across kind?

    Then whose fault is that, dumbass?

    Yours.

    Ditto.

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