Sexual escalation is the process by which you take a woman who you are already alone with and gently move her from sitting and talking on your couch or your bed to having sex. If you’re following my system, this means you’re doing this on the second meet, after a very brief one-hour first meet a few days prior.

This also assumes this second meet is happening at your place where the two of you are alone, which is ideally where a second date/meet should be. That means you need to set the stage for this second meet and properly prepare logistics, but we won’t be talking about that today (if you need more how-to data on that, get this book.)

The primary and overall concept behind sexual escalation is that you must do it. Too many men have been brainwashed by Hollywood and porn and assume that if a girl likes you, she’s going to eventually throw you down, start making out with you, and start tearing your clothes of.

Got news for you. Women don’t do this.

Even if she is extremely attracted to you and super horny that day, she is not going to escalate sexually. (Exception to the rule: she’s very drunk, but if that’s the case and this is first-time sex then you probably shouldn’t go there for other reasons.) Because of ASD and anti-sex Societal Programming, sober women do not sexually escalate on men, with very rare exception (thanks, conservatives!).

Even if she really, really wants you to have sex with her, she’s just going to sit there like a polite little wallflower and wait for you to make the moves. That’s just how it is.

Obviously, more confident, Alpha, or experienced guys have no problem with this. But you guys who are more beta, less confident, less aggressive, or less woman-experienced are going to have trouble here. As a matter of fact, this is perhaps the number one reason why men who remain virgins a long time do so (myself included, since I used to be a beta and didn’t lose my virginity until my early twenties). These men aren’t scared of women, or of even dating. They’re scared of sexually escalating.

I relate to this personally. For many years as a younger man, I had built up the concept of having sex with a woman, and certainly with a pretty girl as some kind of gigantic fantasy that could never possibly happen, or at least couldn’t ever happen to me. It was extremely difficult for me to sexually escalate with girls back then, even if that meant just giving them a kiss on the lips. Scary!!!

Another variation of this is long-term monogamous men who are just out of a divorce or similar long-term relationship. These guys are seriously out of practice, so sexually escalating with a woman they’ve never had sex with before is something that isn’t part of their usual experience. This makes these guys almost as bad as near-virgins. I never had this problem after my divorce (I was way too horny to care) but I know a lot of other divorced men suffer from this.

For all these types of guys, as they’re sitting there with an eager woman right next to them, all kinds of bullshit thoughts invade their brains…

What if she gets mad at me?!?

What if she gets scared and never sees me again?!? Oh no!

What if she accuses me of rape or sexual harassment?!? #MeToo movement! Oh no!

What if she has an STD?!? I don’t want an STD!

What if she gets pregnant and destroys my life with child support?!?

What if I take her clothes off and she’s gross underneath?!?

What if I can’t get hard?!?

What if she doesn’t like my body and I gross her out?!? I don’t want her to see me naked!

What if <so and so> finds out and gets mad at me/her/us?!?

What if we have sex and it hurts her feelings?!?

What if we have sex and she wants a husband and I just want her as a fuck buddy?!? That’s mean!

What if we have sex and then she one-night-stands me like that last girl did?!?

What if we have sex and I fall in love with her and she dumps me?!? Oh no!

What if my mom/dad don’t like her?!?

Some or all of this fear-based, 2% Rule, bullshit Societal Programming garbage floods your mind, either consciously or subconsciously, and you don’t escalate. You just sit there and keep talking about stupid shit, and she sits there patiently and waits for you to fuck her, and you don’t, and then she eventually and awkwardly goes back home. Instead of feeling excited to see you again, she feels embarrassed, disappointed, unattractive, and her attraction for you drops.

The next day when you text her, she doesn’t respond, or gives you the “You’re a nice guy but…” speech. And it’s all your fault.

Here are some things that you can do to help get the balls to sexually escalate. The good news is that once you are able to do this a few times with a few new women, the habit will be ingrained in your brain and it won’t be difficult anymore. Hell, you might even get to the point where you look forward to it.

1. Learn what to do.

One of the biggest barriers to men with this problem, and I had this problem too, is that they don’t actually know how to sexually escalate. Sexual escalation is one of those strange skills that are absolutely needed in life for a man yet no one teaches it to you. You didn’t learn it in school. Your dad certainly never showed you (he was probably a beta anyway). Your buddy who fucked lots of girls maybe tried to show you, but since he was a natural, he really couldn’t articulate it in a step-by-step way that made any sense. So you don’t know, and not knowing makes you scared.

You need to read and learn exactly how to sexually escalate, and then memorized it. Buy this book here and/or Google “DiCarlo Escalation Ladder.” Read over these resources and get familiar with them. Take some notes, in your words, regarding a step-by-step escalation plan.

Then memorize this. Keep reading and re-reading it, drilling yourself, until it’s bored into your subconscious.

Now you know what to do. It’s still new and scary, but the how-to is covered.

2. Do visualization exercises before the meet.

In Get To Sex Fast I cover a few visualization exercises you can use that will increase your confidence and lessen your fear, at least to some degree. There are other exercises as well if you Google around. Find one or two of these and practice them. Get to the point where you can do them automatically. They sound like bullshit but honestly, they really do help. (And not just sexual escalation, but things like going out on a first date, speaking in front of a group, standing up to your dad, or any other scenario where you feel uncomfortable.)

Do your favorite one right before she comes over to your place for the second meet. In extreme cases, you can even excuse yourself to “go to the bathroom” right before you make your moves and do it in there.

3. Cut out the masturbation and porn for a while to increase horniness.

Some of you bastards are just too comfortable not getting laid. I’ve discussed porn and masturbation a few times already, and while I’m no expert, my general opinion is that these things are both fine in moderation.

However, if you’re facing a problem where you’re not getting laid because you’re uncomfortable sexually escalating, you need to eliminate these two things for a while. Just for a while. By not masturbating or watching any porn, your horniness, and thus your sexual motivations, will increase. That’s good. You need all the motivation you can get to overcome this hump.

4. Acknowledge that you might do it wrong.

A lot of you guys are scared to do this because you think you might screw it up.

Dude. Listen. You WILL screw it up. I screwed it up A LOT before I got good at it.

And that’s my point. Screwing up is part of mastery. It’s a phase you must power though. Instead of worrying about being perfect, mentally and emotionally accept that yeah, you might really fuck this up the first time or two you attempt it. Make peace with that.

Remember, there are thousands upon thousands of cute women in your city. If you screw it up with this one, there is an ocean more of them right outside your door. And, by the way, you may still have sex with her even if you do screw it up (this has certainly happened to me in the past too).

5. Just fucking do it.

This isn’t really a technique per se. This is when you, despite all the fear and negative thoughts, use pure willpower and force yourself to just kiss her. Or while you’re kissing her, start taking her shirt off (and stopping if she says no, of course). Just do it. Just rip that band-aid off. Yes, it will be scary, and yes, it might not work, but you’ve got to pull that fucking trigger anyway. Sometimes you just need to willpower this shit.

Like I said, you only need to do this perhaps two or three times with as many women to get to the point where it won’t feel strange to you anymore. It’s a hump, but it’s a very brief hump.

Just do it.

I’m coming to a town near you in 2019 to do the least expensive Alpha Male 2.0 seminar I’ve ever done. I’ll be in 18 different cities in the USA, Australia, Canada, and Europe. If you want to come to a low-cost seminar to learn how to improve your financial and woman life, click HERE and get your tickets! The next cities coming up are Chicago, Detroit, and Toronto!

Alpha Male 2.0 World Tour 2019

62 Comments on “How To Get The Balls To Sexually Escalate

  1. Didnt make it to your Cali Seminar cause of rain and Im not too close too airport where Ill know your most likely hosting it at. Ill shoot 4 the 1 in Vegas this summer. It will be on or near the Vegas strip right and is it on weekend? I see u made the 1 in Vegas on weekend too sweet setup lol.

  2. He’s spot on. Once you do this a few times, you’ll get good at it and look very forward to it. It’s kind of like riding a bike the first time, exciting and scary.

  3. Having the balls to escalate is easily the biggest problem.  Fear of the #meetoo is more of an issue with younger guys but I admit I was worried about it after my divorce and it for sure held me back.  But then women started getting aggressive after I escalated.  Especially if escalation happened in a place they felt in control like their car, regular hang out, or house.  I try to put them in a position where they feel in control.

  4. I’d say that if somebody is lacking the confidence they should most def listen to some Alan Roger Currie. 

    Although his approach is way different than yours he is one guy that can most def help others in the confidence department.

  5. I did finally get good enough that I could undo a bra with one hand,

    but still

    getting her undressed is still awkward.

    So now after making out for a while I just ask her to get undressed and offer to hang her clothes up for her.

    This eliminates most consent problems, (she wouldn’t be getting undressed herself at your place for any other reason) and now is the time when you can tell her she looks good to keep her from feeling awkward while she is undressing.

    I really enjoy watching a woman undress and get a real feeling of power from just asking her to do it and the rest goes smother after that.

  6. Didnt make it to your Cali Seminar

    Did both the LA and SF ones over the weekend; had a great time; I really like California people. 🙂

    cause of rain

    Because of the rain?

    C’mon man. Come or don’t come, but don’t say stupid shit like that. You’re better than that.

    It will be on or near the Vegas strip

    Yes. On the strip. I’m tacking it on to the end of Freedomfest where I’ll be speaking and where Pink Firefly and a few others will manage our booth.

    Fear of the #meetoo is more of an issue with younger guys

    Yeah and fearing that is stupid. I’ve got a whole article about this coming very soon.

    I’d say that if somebody is lacking the confidence they should most def listen to some Alan Roger Currie.

    I hung out with him a little last year at the 21 Convention. He’s a nice guy; it was fun to catch up with him. Yes, very different than me, almost an opposite, but a good guy.

    getting her undressed is still awkward.

    So now after making out for a while I just ask her to get undressed and offer to hang her clothes up for her.

    Exactly. You don’t have to be the one physically removing clothing if you don’t like that.

  7. “What if she gets pregnant and destroys my life with child support?” that’s what fake names & burner phones are for

  8. I hung out with him a little last year at the 21 Convention. He’s a nice guy; it was fun to catch up with him. Yes, verydifferent than me, almost an opposite, but a good guy.

    You’d known him longer though right? You guys did that podcast together a few years back where he was right up front about the non-mono stuff.

    Any word on when they’re putting your full video up (or if they’re going to)?

  9. “What if she gets pregnant and destroys my life with child support?” that’s what fake names & burner phones are for

    I would have say condoms and, in case of breakage, the “next day pill” (I always have one or its equivalent and make sure she swallows it immediately after any condom accident).

    Also, anal sex is “safer” for that matter 😉

    I guess you fuck a lot of strangers raw bareback?

  10. You’d known him longer though right? You guys did that podcast together a few years back where he was right up front about the non-mono stuff.

    Right.

    Any word on when they’re putting your full video up (or if they’re going to)?

    Never, as far as I know. I think Anthony wants to keep that behind his paywall. But I could be wrong.

    And holy shit, don’t worry. By the end of 2019 there will be so much video of me all over the internet that you’ll be sick of seeing me. 🙂  You have no idea what’s coming.

  11. Alan Roger Currie is Perfect is you consider yourself an Assertive Alpha 2.0..

    Although is day his version of Total Alpha Male or Alpha with some Beta Traits is hard to compare to how we do.

    Because ours is more his Total Alpha Male that avoids drama, so it’s slightly in conflict.

    But his approach is almost more Outcome Independent than ours because it’s based on just being as upfront as possible with tons of confidence.

    I’d say his is more the spirit of a  Thrill of The Hunt guy.

  12. By the end of 2019 there will be so much video of me all over the internet

    Will you update us about what is coming? I like to read more, plus your writing style is great, but I do have to say that seeing you on video was a real thrill. My respect for you has grown after that. Also, you don’t talk as slow as I imagined (talking slower creates attraction in women), so do you talk like that to new women also? I mean, with all the hand gesticulation.

    P.S. I loved your ring on the small finger!

  13. I am fine with most women, I just get touchy with them and usually thats enough, but some women clearly let me do that but do not respond positively or negatively and I am not really sure how to proceed. I guess usually those cases are not that into me but sometimes its just because shes too nervous. Usually if I give her a bit more time and then slowly but steadily keep crossing more lines it works.

    However a few times including one recent one I came across a situation that seems rare but it happens sometimes and I do not know what to do with it: The woman clearly likes my proximity and me touching her but does not touch back and she keeps talking non stop – clearly either nervous or doesn’t want stuff to happen yet. She does not respond to gentle nudges to pull her closer to me and she does not turn her head to face me like almost all women do when I play with her hair and touch her neck. So… I am not really sure what to do with these cases.

  14. Great Article, CJ. Very Important.

    I have never heard of Alan Roger Currie but will look him up. On first glance his  stuff seems to be very much like the stuff we’re doing here. How is his stuff “almost opposite”?

  15. “What if she gets pregnant and destroys my life with child support?” that’s what fake names & burner phones are for

    You better not take her back to your place then, unless its a temp rented apartment via air bnb or something like that. Hah, sometimes I felt like I wanted to stuff like this, knock up some teenagers and then vanish having only given them fake names and address.

  16. The primary and overall concept behind sexual escalation is that you must do it. Too many men have been brainwashed by Hollywood and porn and assume that if a girl likes you, she’s going to eventually throw you down, start making out with you, and start tearing your clothes of.
    Got news for you. Women don’t do this.

    I agree to a certain level yet still beg to differ. I like escalating at times because I like the thrill but I just recalled a bunch of women who actually did escalate with me first and I am not talking about kissing or touching my arms, some of them literally grabbed my crotch. And since then I feel even more comfortable having them escalating first because I feel like they will do it anyway. Of course everything depends on her interest level in you but women assume they don’t get turned down easily (sexually) so they go for it. In fact women seem to be way more direct than men are imo. If a woman is horny she will escalate harder than the average guy would ever risk of doing. The “trick” that I used unintentionally was to make her feel uncertain yet still show interest at the same time without taking action. Like say you are dancing with her, you look her deep in the eyes and hold her tight but say nothing at all and then just wait….she will kiss you. I feel like horny women just can’t wait for you to make the move so they’ll do it instead. Again, this only applies to women who have enough interest in you.

  17. I like escalating at times because I like the thrill but I just recalled a bunch of women who actually did escalate with me first and I am not talking about kissing or touching my arms, some of them literally grabbed my crotch. And since then I feel even more comfortable having them escalating first because I feel like they will do it anyway.

    Same experience here, and that is also part of how I learned to do it. However, these are still rare cases even though they do happen and almost in all cases when a woman did this she did this after I was already touching her for a while and we were at my house on second+ meeting.

  18. And since then I feel even more comfortable having them escalating first because I feel like they will do it anyway.

    Same experience here, and that is also part of how I learned to do it. However, these are still rare cases even though they do happen and almost in all cases when a woman did this she did this after I was already touching her for a while and we were at my house on second+ meeting.

    I get the same thing unless they’re inexperienced.  But, I don’t mess with inexperienced  or hesitant women anymore.  Too many willing and overzealous women out there.  They either verbally escalate or physically escalate to sex of some kind.  Obviously you have to take them there as the article states and set the stage but once you do most women with a sexual past, in my experience, are animals. 

  19. I get the same thing unless they’re inexperienced.  But, I don’t mess with inexperienced  or hesitant women anymore.  Too many willing and overzealous women out there.  They either verbally escalate or physically escalate to sex of some kind.  Obviously you have to take them there as the article states and set the stage but once you do most women with a sexual past, in my experience, are animals.

    Yes I agree. I once read an article somewhere that you dont want consent – you want enthusiasm. The difference between the two is like night and day. Since then I specifically screen for women with enthusiasm. I still date/fuck women who just give consent but make way less effort there and do not reward them in any specific way other than them getting to spend time with me / have sex with me but I see that usually it doesn’t work out quite quickly anyway – either they were not that much into it and just were there because they couldnt get anyone else and then realized this isnt what they want or they expect you to do all the work and just sit there and get pampered just because they are women which is obviously not something I would do.

  20. I once read an article somewhere that you dont want consent – you want enthusiasm. The difference between the two is like night and day. 

    Exactly.  It’s all I look for.  I like to bring out that inner animal in women.  The more suburban, yoga, prissy, soccer mom they are the better.  they’re the best.  they just go nuts.  I love those come make me cum texts from women you haven’t seen in forever.  I don’t even have to all that attracted to them.  Just love it.

  21. Will you update us about what is coming?

    Of course. There’s a lot coming. I’ve been cranking the weight loss and weight lifting (using a new system that seems to be working) since December right after I recorded the Consultant Course (so far down 20 pounds of fat, up around 3 pounds of muscle) and changed several aspects of my appearance since then in preparation for all of this. It’s a lot of work but I’m every excited about what’s coming.

    I like to read more, plus your writing style is great, but I do have to say that seeing you on video was a real thrill. My respect for you has grown after that.

    Cool. That’s one of the reasons I did it.

    Also, you don’t talk as slow as I imagined (talking slower creates attraction in women), so do you talk like that to new women also? I mean, with all the hand gesticulation.

    Absolutely not. I’d scare the fuck out of them. On a first date I’m relaxed and leaned back and chill.

    There’s a very big difference between a first date with a new female and me doing an online seminar trying to convey information to a bunch of men while motivating them to get off their asses.

    P.S. I loved your ring on the small finger!

    I’m a sexy bitch!

    However a few times including one recent one I came across a situation that seems rare but it happens sometimes and I do not know what to do with it: The woman clearly likes my proximity and me touching her but does not touch back and she keeps talking non stop – clearly either nervous or doesn’t want stuff to happen yet. She does not respond to gentle nudges to pull her closer to me and she does not turn her head to face me like almost all women do when I play with her hair and touch her neck. So… I am not really sure what to do with these cases.

    Just proceed until you get a hard no. Some women are like that; it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not interested.

    I agree to a certain level yet still beg to differ. I like escalating at times because I like the thrill but I just recalled a bunch of women who actually did escalate with me first and I am not talking about kissing or touching my arms, some of them literally grabbed my crotch.

    Blackdragon hits <paste:> 

    The exception to the rule proves the rule.

    I once read an article somewhere that you dont want consent – you want enthusiasm.

    That’s the ideal scenario but the ideal scenario is rare and thus should not be the objective.

    I’ve had first-time sex with many women who were not “enthusiastic” the first time but still ended up being very happy long-term FBs and MLTRs for years and years. (THEN they were enthused.) Many women just don’t behave this way during first time sex even if they are very attracted to you and/or horny.

    Since then I specifically screen for women with enthusiasm.

    A mistake in my view. You know how I feel about screening.

  22. @AlphaOmega and @John

    Yeah I agree with both of you. I also have to mention that married women seem to be even more aggressive than single women at times. It’s like they are the predators hunting the prey.

    @BD: it would be an exception if it only happened once but I can recall various women who went for me first, I mean physically. I remember a woman kissing me on a wedding, who I had known for maybe 30 minutes then, she just went for it, I didn’t even expect it. Then another time at my buddies home, a russian woman that I only had seen once before first kissed me and then grabbed my dick (she then gave me a BJ when we left for a “walk”). Another time a woman I met in a store was looking at me before I approached her later. We went walking down the street and then I told her she made me horny and then she grabbed my crotch before we went to my place. And at a Club a polish woman who I had never known nor talked before just took my hand while I was drinking with a guy and we went dancing and she never said a single word but she kissed me. After that she went back to her friends. I have other stories to tell too but I think I made my point.

  23. I have never heard of Alan Roger Currie but will look him up. On first glance his  stuff seems to be very much like the stuff we’re doing here. How is his stuff “almost opposite”?

    Read a little more before you comment about it. I talk about things like not verbalizing and never complimenting women before you’ve had sex with them twice. He literally advises telling women you they’re super hot and how you want to slide your dick into them, as in whispering it in her ear sensually during daygame. Seriously.

    It works for him, but I disagree it would work for most men.

    @BD: it would be an exception if it only happened once but I can recall various women who went for me first, I mean physically

    Incorrect, that is not what “exception to the rule” means. Time for some basic math. If you’ve approached (for example) 50 women and 4 or 5 of them act the way you’re talking about, it was “various women” but still the exception to the rule.

    Go back and actually track every woman you’ve attempted this stuff with on a spreadsheet (whether you were successful or not) and come up with a real percentage of the women who physically escalated on you first when in isolation (not on a crazy dance floor) and when they were 100% sober. You’ll see it’s the statistical exception to the rule.

  24. A lot of you guys are scared to do this because you think you might screw it up.
    Dude. Listen. You WILL screw it up. I screwed it up A LOT before I got good at it.
    And that’s my point. Screwing up is part of mastery. It’s a phase you must power though. Instead of worrying about being perfect, mentally and emotionally accept that yeah, you might really fuck this up the first time or two you attempt it. Make peace with that.
    Remember, there are thousands upon thousands of cute women in your city. If you screw it up with this one, there is an ocean more of them right outside your door. And, by the way, you may still have sex with her even if you do screw it up (this has certainly happened to me in the past too).

    It’s hard to understate the importance of this mindset.  Not just in pickup but in life.  Two good movies that were made along the same lines are: The Edge of Tomorrow and Source Code.

  25.  

    A mistake in my view. You know how I feel about screening.

    Yes, one should categorize instead. Theoretically I agree but in practice I see the chances of success are significantly lower both short term and long term with no enthusiastic women for me. Its such a big difference in success ratio that it does not feel worth the time and effort to pursue non enthusiastic women for me.

    Just proceed until you get a hard no. Some women are like that; it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not interested.

    I thought the same – that I just need to be a little more forward and forceful than usual. I have had one case where I have met a girl several times with lots of times between (lived far away) and she would let me touch her and kiss her and do stuff but would not respond in any way – positive or negative. It did not feel like that shes just shy, it felt like she doesnt want it and is just too scared to say no, though I may have been wrong about the situation. Would you still say to press on in such a case unless theres a hard no? I know for a fact that there are many women who have sexual traumas from the past where they did stuff they didnt want to but did not say no… so, usually I do not really like the idea of doing stuff with a girl who does not respond in any way.

  26. What’s fucked up is the last new woman I had sex with (back in 1994) was a guest at our house, and I escalated with her right in front of my wife.  From a Disney perspective, I’d say I was too naive to know I wasn’t supposed to do that, and hadn’t been properly trained yet.  From a post-Disney perspective, I wish I could undo all those years of training my ex put me through.  Who is SHE?  Why are you talking to HER?  I didn’t think anything about following up the signs I was figuring out.  Hey, I like sex, she wants me, I’m going to fuck her.  I guess I  wasn’t that serious when I said the words on ring on the finger day to make my parents happy, or maybe I was just too horny to care.

    I didn’t do that again.  In fact, the training was so good that nine months after my wife moved out, 23 years after the events in question, I still can’t even talk to girls.  Not sexually.  I have legions of platonic friend girls (well, maybe two dozen) who are all surprised I’m not getting laid yet, and I’m friend zoned by all of them.

    I despair of ever getting through all this.  I decided to keep my house and all my stuff, because I like my stuff.  I have a machine shop and a music studio that I can’t take to apartment world.  I’m doing okay without her income, but I work a lot of hours to keep everything up, and currently I owe more than I can afford to pay off.  I should be right again in three years.  In the meantime, I don’t have much time, and I’m not accomplishing anything with the time I have.  Nothing sexual anyway.  I’m accomplishing quite a lot creatively right now.

    It really is like being a virgin again.  In addition to the performance and body image insecurities, I’m also up against the fact that so many women around my age are provider hunting.  I know someone in particular who is pretty desperate for a provider, and I’ve studiously avoided offering her any provision, because our relationship isn’t in any way sexual.  I’d probably trade provision for good sex at this point, but it’s going to start with GOOD sex, and I’m just not getting that vibe from her at all.  Giving away provision is easy.  Getting good sex in exchange is the challenge.  Especially with 30- and 40-something women.

    There have definitely been times when I did get a sexual vibe from someone, and was too much of a pussy to follow through.  One time a cashier showed me a new tattoo on her back by removing her top.  Hello.  I froze like a deer in headlights.  In my defense, I was married at the time.

    I live in a college town, and there are thousands of attractive chicks walking around everywhere, but the nearly 30 year age gap is pretty tough for an aging divorced guy with no game, and I still have no game after reading 10,000 pages of good advice.  There is no substitute for practice.

    There are thousands of us walking around too.  The only ones I know who are banging college girls are straight up rich, and one of them is the kind of guy who still says things like, “I don’t want to see panty lines on that pretty little ass of yours again” or “Be careful when you’re lifting that, so you don’t squirt your pussy out.”  That guy gets young pretty chicks like Pez.  He’s a successful entrepreneur (he owns about 50 restaurants and employs hundreds of these girls), he just doesn’t give a fuck, and he’s apparently covered in enough Teflon to dodge any allegations of sexual misconduct.  I’ve noticed that the only area women who talk smack about him are the ones he would never find attractive.  It’s a good act if you can pull it off, but I can’t pull that off.  Even if that was the only way I could get laid, I just couldn’t be that crude with women.  Even if the James Bond thing isn’t the way to go, I’m more of a James Bond than a Max Hardcore.  It just is what it is.

    I might be a very good candidate for a sugar baby type arrangement.  I don’t give a shit if I get laid as and alpha or a beta at this point, but financially, I just can’t afford that at this time.  I’m not going to do without food to pay for pussy.  Hell, most of the girls I talked to are looking for more a month than my total gross income.  I’m not going to work even more hours either.  I’m a musician who does multi-instrumental videos, and honestly, when the wife moved out I bought a Playstation, and I’ve had a ton of fun playing a few games.  I don’t want to give all that up so some young chick can enjoy a lifestyle more lavish than anything I ever provided for my own children.

    I guess I’m not serious enough to ever get laid.  Plus it’s also an excuse to avoid challenging my insecurities.  My anxiety runs deep enough that pushing the envelope has resulted in some episodes that impeded my ability to function at my job.  Keeping the roof over my collection of instruments is my first priority, but it’s also an excuse.  The hell of it is it’s a pretty good excuse.  Having a secure place to call home, lots of employment options, and a great credit score are all apparently worth more to me right now than getting my dick into a fleshy hole instead of a cyberskin one.

  27. “I would have say condoms and, in case of breakage, the “next day pill” (I always have one or its equivalent and make sure she swallows it immediately after any condom accident).Also, anal sex is “safer” for that matter I guess you fuck a lot of strangers raw bareback?”

    The anus is not a sex organ.

     

  28. Incorrect, that is not what “exception to the rule” means. Time for some basic math. If you’ve approached (for example) 50 women and 4 or 5 of them act the way you’re talking about, it was “various women” but still the exception to the rule.
    Incorrect. lol  I get that but You said women don’t do it but they clearly do it when they are horny for you. I already said, it depends on her interest level in you. If you meet 10 women and 8 are luke warm for you while 2 want to fuck your brains out then those 2 will most likely make the move and that’s what counts, doesn’t it?
    Go back and actually track every woman you’ve attempted this stuff with on a spreadsheet (whether you were successful or not) and come up with a real percentage of the women who physically escalated on you first when in isolation (not on a crazy dance floor) and when they were 100% sober. You’ll see it’s the statistical exception to the rule.

    Why would that matter? Where do you usually meet women? In bars, events, shopping malls, through friends, clubs, hobbies, so why would you make this difference? Of all the women I counted in my last post only one wasn’t sober at all.

  29. Theoretically I agree but in practice I see the chances of success are significantly lower both short term and long term with no enthusiastic women for me. Its such a big difference in success ratio that it does not feel worth the time and effort to pursue non enthusiastic women for me.

    It sounds like you’re just stating a strong preference. If you really want to screen based on that, go ahead. It’s just more abundant if you don’t (but that may not be your priority).

    I thought the same – that I just need to be a little more forward and forceful than usual. I have had one case where I have met a girl several times with lots of times between (lived far away) and she would let me touch her and kiss her and do stuff but would not respond in any way – positive or negative. It did not feel like that shes just shy, it felt like she doesnt want it and is just too scared to say no, though I may have been wrong about the situation. Would you still say to press on in such a case unless theres a hard no?

    Unless I misunderstand you, you said you met up with her “lots of times.” Of course that would be a hard no, after the 2nd time for me. Not sure why you continued to see her “lots of times” after that. That’s friend zone shit.

    Why would that matter?

    Why would the exception to the rule matter? Because you don’t want to base your baseline technique on the unusual exceptions to the rule. That’s horrible time management and results in an unfavorable work/rewards ratio.

    Where do you usually meet women?

    Online.

  30. @BD something doesn’t work right with your comment section. Sometimes I can’t post my comments here

    Incorrect, that is not what “exception to the rule” means. Time for some basic math. If you’ve approached (for example) 50 women and 4 or 5 of them act the way you’re talking about, it was “various women” but still the exception to the rule.

    Incorrect. lol  I get that but You said women don’t do it but they clearly do it when they are horny for you. I already said, it depends on her interest level in you. If you meet 10 women and 8 are luke warm for you while 2 want to fuck your brains out then those 2 will most likely make the move and that’s what counts, doesn’t it? Why would I waste my time on the other 8?

    Why would the exception to the rule matter? Because you don’t want to base your baseline technique on the unusual exceptions to the rule. That’s horrible time management and results in an unfavorable work/rewards ratio.

    But if it works, then why not doing it? I am going to experiment on this one in the future. I am not saying I won’t ever escalate again because I do but depending on the women I have experienced that less can be better.

    Online

    It was a general question but exactly. You meet them online, I usually don’t.

  31. something doesn’t work right with your comment section. Sometimes I can’t post my comments here

    That means you used some spammed-out keywords. Just wait a few hours and we’ll push them through.

    I get that but You said women don’t do it but they clearly do it when they are horny for you.

    Incorrect. I said the exact opposite. I said they don’t do it even if they’re horny for you (with unusual exceptions of course).

    it depends on her interest level in you.

    No it doesn’t, as I just said above (for the 2nd time).

    If you meet 10 women and 8 are luke warm for you while 2 want to fuck your brains out then those 2 will most likely make the move and that’s what counts, doesn’t it?

    Incorrect. Those two are more likely to make the first move than the other eight but they are still not likely to do it because that’s not how women work (with unusual exceptions of course).

    Why would I waste my time on the other 8?

    That’s a completely separate topic. If you seriously want to screen out the other eight and ONLY want women who escalate on YOU, then go right ahead (I think that’s a terrible idea since I’ve had many long-term FBs and MLTRs who were super hot who didn’t escalate on me, but do whatever you want) as I just told AlphaOmega above. That’s completely up to you.

    I’m saying that 100% sober women are unlikely to make the first physical move (with unusual exception of course) regardless of how much they want to fuck you.

    You meet them online, I usually don’t.

    Irrelevant. I’m talking about once you and a woman are in isolation together after spending some time together and and sex may now commence. The medium you used to originally meet her (daygame, online, night game, etc) is not relevant assuming all other factors remain equal (she’s not drunk, etc).

  32. Incorrect. I said the exact opposite. I said they don’t do iteven ifthey’re horny for you (with unusual exceptions of course).

    No, the second part was my statement, not yours, I was just contradicting you. It was me who said “they clearly do it when they are horny” based on my exerience though.

    Irrelevant. I’m talking about once you and a woman are in isolation together after spending some time together and and sex may now commence. The medium you used to originally meet her (daygame, online, night game, etc) is not relevant assume all factors remain equal (she’s not drunk, etc).

    The reason why I mentioned all the things above, like shopping mall, events, friends, hobbies etc were to show that you will almost never meet drunk women there. In my case almost none of them were drunk and we also were isolated most of the time.

    Overall I would agree with your message though, I just wouldn’t depend on it 100%.

  33. I made up my own sexual escalation routine for first sex with new women as described in these previous posts (not 100% compatible with BD system because it involves cuddling, even of future FB).

    http://blackdragonblog.com/2018/05/07/overdoing-sex-talk-or-kino-on-dates/#comment-373765

    http://blackdragonblog.com/2018/03/05/no-thing-casual-sex/#comment-364388

    I think this routine is dumb proof easy to do so it reduces a lot any anxiety the man who performs it may have. It also destroys a good chunk of her LMR and any possibility of rape accusation (with the safe word).

    I also used Vin Dicarlo escalation ladder and for the conversation in first dates I like his “pandora box” system with 8 women types as it kinda gamiefies the conversation content and getting to know her to extrapolate her sexual behaviours and rationalisations and adapt the approach both verbally physically.

    Also for pure kino, this research paper mapping exactly how sensitive each area of the body are to touch for men and women, really was a “eureka” moment. (note I am very INTP, boderline asperger, so this may seem like nothing at all to people who naturally have normal social skills).

    https://www.pnas.org/content/early/2015/10/21/1519231112

  34. I’ve been cranking the weight loss and weight lifting (using a new system that seems to be working) since December right after I recorded the Consultant Course (so far down 20 pounds of fat, up around 3 pounds of muscle) and changed several aspects of my appearance since then in preparation for all of this.

    Dude that’s awesome! And very inspiring that you finally managed such a big improvement in your worst life area ever.

    Care to share what’s the name of this system that works on you ?

  35. For the human body touch maps I was referring to, it’s in the appendix.

    https://www.pnas.org/highwire/filestream/620804/field_highwire_adjunct_files/0/pnas.1519231112.sapp.pdf

    For complete nerds like I was, sexual escalation consists in moving from “stranger” map, to “partner map”, progressively but, in the context of a fast seduction process, accelerated in a few minutes.

    With my “tickle => safe word => cuddle => sex” routine I escalate during the 2nd date, from  the same type of light kino as BD uses in first dates, to penis in mouth, anus or vagina in less than 10 minutes from the start of this routine. Often so less than 5 minutes.

  36. Lol at ‘your system will not work 100 percent of the time!’ This shit is so ridiculous I sometimes think you pay these guys. SMH

  37. Care to share what’s the name of this system that works on you ?

    If it’s still working in two months, which means I will have finally hit my longtime goal of getting down to my high school weight, then I will shout it from the rooftops and actually do my best to promote it. But not yet. I’ve had success with other systems too, for a while.

    Two months of consistent fat loss is not success. (But 4-5 months is.) So we’ll see.

    Lol at ‘your system will not work 100 percent of the time!’ This shit is so ridiculous I sometimes think you pay these guys. SMH

    There are a percentage of people on the internet who must disagree just to disagree; they can’t help themselves. I think it’s a personality trait.

  38. Unless I misunderstand you, you said you met up with her “lots of times.” Of course that would be a hard no, after the 2nd time for me. Not sure why you continued to see her “lots of times” after that. That’s friend zone shit.

    Its a girl from way way back years ago when I was a virgin an had no clue what I was doing with women. She lives far and we meet like once in a few years. The times I tried to escalate on her and she let me but did not respond was like last two times. So if you say twice no response is a hard no that makes sense and I can keep that in mind for future women.

  39. Also, anal sex is “safer” for that matter I guess you fuck a lot of strangers raw bareback?”

    The anus is not a sex organ.

    When I hear straight people talking about anal sex I always feel like the guy does not know where to put it.

  40. On tinder, badoo, and ok cupid, I’ve only ran into 1 girl who wouldn’t have sex with me on the first date (but she was naked on my bed fingering herself,  so confusing). That’s at least 20 girls from June 2018 – November 2018. It’s literally mind blowing that they will meet me at my place!, we go out for a little bit, then come back and fuck. EVERY SINGLE TIME. It’s like they are expecting it nowadays. Online is a different animal. There is almost a universal understanding that they are here to hookup.  And I was a beta chump who was married for 15 years, left my cheating wife at the end of May 2018. Read a shit ton of game but never really practiced it.  So I’m not some Rico swave. Now I need to read how to keep them around. Only 2 out of the 20 managed to stick around long term.

  41. On tinder, badoo, and ok cupid, I’ve only ran into 1 girl who wouldn’t have sex with me on the first date (but she was naked on my bed fingering herself,  so confusing). That’s at least 20 girls from June 2018 – November 2018. It’s literally mind blowing that they will meet me at my place!, we go out for a little bit, then come back and fuck. EVERY SINGLE TIME. It’s like they are expecting it nowadays. Online is a different animal. There is almost a universal understanding that they are here to hookup.  And I was a beta chump who was married for 15 years, left my cheating wife at the end of May 2018. Read a shit ton of game but never really practiced it.  So I’m not some Rico swave. Now I need to read how to keep them around. Only 2 out of the 20 managed to stick around long term.

    Must be a thing in your area then. Over here they have super high bitch shields up and have platonic expectations from Tinder meet ups.

  42. Atlanta, I’m being completely honest. And they are at least above average (21-34 years old 120lbs or less with a cute face). It blew my mind too, that these girls will show up at a guy’s house they never met before… but they all do. And when we get back after going out they give me that look like “ok now what”. My line is “do you want to watch a movie on Netflix” the only tv in my apt is in my bedroom. Works every time! Idk if me being 6′ 160lbs(to me I’m way to skinny to be attractive) and right after I divorced my wife I bought a 98 Porsche boxster convertible for $5k (btw young girls love convertibles) has anything to do with anything. To me it just seems girls I meet up with online seem to expect me to make a move to the bedroom.

  43. I guess my point is. To anyone on this blog that is afraid to make a move. 99% of the time they are expecting it and want it to happen. Only the girls that you meet online. Cold approach you need to build some comfort first for sure. I think online the comfort is kind of already built in

  44. Must be a thing in your area then. Over here they have super high bitch shields up and have platonic expectations from Tinder meet ups.

    Tinder is useless in my area.  But after talking to a couple 18-20 year old girls i’m thinking of getting back on it.  they told me it’s a thing now to set their age range from 18-55.  That they specifically want an older guy and so do all their friends.

  45. Don’t rule tinder out! I learned later that tinder has hidden rules. If you swipe to much, if your pics are shit, ect… if your getting nothing but ugly chicks on tinder to swipe on it’s time you completely rest your account with a new number, new Google play account, and get some nice new pics up and only swipe on the girls you find attractive and only swipe on like 5 girls a day and turn it off and check it in the morning,  then do another 5 and don’t look at it until the next day ect… It will be like night and day I promise. Honestly tinder has brought me more girls then any other dating site.

  46. only swipe on like 5 girls a day and turn it off and check it in the morning,  then do another 5 and don’t look at it until the next day ect…

    I will have already fucked 5 girls from other sites by then, lol..  Just kidding but at least one.  I’ll try that though.  I use all of them when I don’t have repeat business.

  47. Don’t rule tinder out! I learned later that tinder has hidden rules. If you swipe to much, if your pics are shit, ect… if your getting nothing but ugly chicks on tinder to swipe on it’s time you completely rest your account with a new number, new Google play account, and get some nice new pics up and only swipe on the girls you find attractive and only swipe on like 5 girls a day and turn it off and check it in the morning,  then do another 5 and don’t look at it until the next day ect… It will be like night and day I promise. Honestly tinder has brought me more girls then any other dating site

    This is complete rubbish you are talking about. Tinder is highly location dependent. With the same account and same pics and same Facebook/Instagram in one location I can get 100 matches in a week and in another only a few overaged harpies in a month. All while swiping right on 70-80% of women.

    The only thing you get by resetting your account is, you get exposed to the same chicks with your new profile and pictures. That’s it.

    Also, lol at new Google Play account. Absolutely irrelevant. I even did a hack on getting Tinder half price using the same Google Play account. Like signed up as under 25 year old, paid for Gold with Google Play, deleted the account, logged with my normal account and restored purchase. Bam, I have Gold for half price. Wouldn’t work if Google Play account was important.

  48. Where do you usually meet women?

    Offline. Everywhere. Along your mission. Kicking ass and taking names. Not on your mission… I’ve slept with premium chicks when I’m aligned with my goals and lifestyle. Period *for myself at least*. Not getting bogged down with other’s goals and lack of them.

    By premium chicks I mean girls who have their own job in their choice of field, have their own life and have men sucking up to them on Instagram. Therefore, they are optimistic, smile and the sex is passionate.

    These girls escalate on me. No lie. No bullshit. Every girl of this caliber has made every move possible. 

    It just happened to me again this morning.

    The sex is better when the girl is more attracted to me than I am attracted to her… Even though I’m attracted to her.

    My two cents on how I do it:

    Be somewhere, someplace any place. Become an expert where your can control the environment. I was a DJ in my early 20s. c’mon!!!
    Seriously find a relevant passion that connects with you and no one else. The more unique the better. The guys who do things for the girls may get them in the beginning. But not when it counts. It’s always better when she uncovers your unique passions instead of you telling her. As women love to snoop and play Love Detective. It pays to let women build attraction on their own. Making it seem like she’s doing the choosing.
    Instead of Man Cave create a Love Shack
    Connect and Weld short-goals with long-term achievements.
    Lifting is not a rite of passage to get decent girls. Nutrition is more important. Lifting takes you away from where you meet girls. Lifting should be 45 minutes of intense training and back in the field. If the girl isn’t picking you up at the gym.
    No Esoteria. I don’t care how the world started. Who created us or what religion, sexual background or political affiliation is winning. I think it’s worse than porn. Some porn you can get some inspiration.
    Stop looking at Car and Mechanic content or other distractions that take your eye of your woman.
    Realize that your self esteem level is a mirror of the type of woman.
    Be optimistic. Take risks that better yourself for the future. By risks I mean take better care of yourself today so you are ready for the better future ahead of you.
    Be up on latest popular culture talk. It keeps you cool, fresh and in the game.

    The Coffee shop is exactly like the bar. The ______ is actually like the bar. There are guys who make it happen and guys who watch it happen. And guys who don’t know what’s happening.

    Good luck as Spring is in the air…

    Love, Peace and Happiness

    Carmike

     

  49. This is complete rubbish you are talking about. Tinder is highly location dependent. 

    Lol..  I figured as much..  in my area it’s POF and Match then bumble and last by a mile Tinder..  but online dating overall is in the dumps..  you have to work crazy hard to get women you’re better looking than to meet..  I’ve been out with 1 woman more attractive than myself, from online, in 6 months..  which I don’t mind I fuck them all anyways..  even average looking girls can go on 2 dates a night with guys much better looking them themselves..  you really have to spread out with social media and picking up with women out and about..  I can pickup a hot 21 year old 29 years my junior out and about and struggle to get some 45 year old hag to meet me..  it’s pthetic..

  50. As a girl, just wanted to say another reason girls don’t escalate is because some guys get scared/turned off by this. Even if they seem to be really into the girl a minute before.

    I have occasionally made the first move, usually when I’m pretty sure a guy is into me and taking forever to make a move. However usually I don’t outright do this. I might touch his arm or thigh while laughing at something he’s said.  It’s not because I care about looking like a slut. It’s more that I think it’s waaaay hotter if a guy does it, because I like when guys are dominant regarding getting to sex and having sex. That’s the main reason I don’t escalate when I’m attracted to a guy I’m on a date with/hanging out with – I want to see if wants me enough and has the balls to do it.

     

  51. As a girl, just wanted to say another reason girls don’t escalate is because some guys get scared/turned off by this. Even if they seem to be really into the girl a minute before.

    I know. Most men are total pussies.

    That’s the main reason I don’t escalate when I’m attracted to a guy I’m on a date with/hanging out with – I want to see if wants me enough and has the balls to do it.

    Right. That’s another strong reason I didn’t address. You’re correct; it’s unattractive to not escalate.

  52. i think we need these two things before doing any escalation:
    (1) her eye contact
    (2) proximity physically
    otherwise it will just come off as try-hard.

    yes, i tried moving her body towards me ie her face when i attempt to kiss her but without any pre-good conversation that shit just seem cringy at least in my gut.

  53. I’ve had success with other systems too, for a while.
    Two months of consistent fat loss is not success. (But 4-5 months is.) So we’ll see.

    Right I totally get you: “don’t count your chickens before they hatch”.

    Hopefully you stick with the good habits in the long run, since I recall that’s more your problem than the pure technical efficiency of a given diet.

  54. @Gang

    Considering your escalation technique, on what body parts do you start to tickle them?

    Btw, I like it, I’ll definitely try it the next time I’m escalating. Thanks for the info!

  55. As a girl, just wanted to say another reason girls don’t escalate is because some guys get scared/turned off by this.

    thats why on a first meet I give the girl a big bear hug, grab her hand, sit right next to her at the bar and within the first 30 mins kiss her..  Guys think I’m crazy but every single woman loves it.  Then I sit back and listen to her, be sweet , a gentleman,and kind.  Escalate a little more with kissing and touching then just wait.  They almost always verbalize they want sex by asking me into their car, grabbing me, or asking me sexuallly personal questions..   unless their really shy they almost always  do.  I tell guys how well it works for me and they just look at me like I’m speaking Greek..  I’ve been doing this for 30+ years..  never been slapped or told to stop or got any other reaction other than smiles, giggles, and them sending massive singles they want more..

  56. never been slapped or told to stop or got any other reaction other than smiles, giggles, and them sending massive singles they want more

    I’ve also never been slapped. I have, however, been told to stop, and leaving me in a rush also happened. (Also they didn’t send me more singles. : ) But the point is, things that scare men, being slapped, publicly humiliated in some way, getting in legal trouble just don’t happen if you are assertive in a non-creepy manner. Yes, some women aren’t going to like you, they’ll just leave you and disappear. So what?

  57. Hey, where’s your post today?  Anyway, I grew up on shows like All in the Family where Gloria would fight with Mike about allowing her to make the first move.  It didn’t serve me well in life.

     

  58. For me, one of the best escalation techniques over the years has been to pick the girl up and carry her to the bed. If you are on the couch or balcony or something like that. Start with touching and then kissing etc. But when it comes time to move to the bed or somewhere else to start going to the next level, pick them up and carry them there. It sends them crazy. If you are on the couch or floor, making sure you have the strength to pick them up from the sitting position also seems to have a big impact on them.

  59. For me, one of the best escalation techniques over the years has been to pick the girl up and carry her to the bed. If you are on the couch or balcony or something like that. Start with touching and then kissing etc. But when it comes time to move to the bed or somewhere else to start going to the next level, pick them up and carry them there. It sends them crazy. If you are on the couch or floor, making sure you have the strength to pick them up from the sitting position also seems to have a big impact on them.

    To me if you are already making out thats already escalated so this wouldn’t be needed.

    never been slapped or told to stop or got any other reaction other than smiles, giggles, and them sending massive singles they want more

    I’ve also never been slapped.

    Haha, I wouldn’t mind getting slapped but last time that happened was at high school. Adult women don’t really do that unless its part of sex because they are well aware of the sexual connotations. I think it only happens in movies. If a girl actually did slap me I would prob be like: “thats it baby, harder!”.

  60. To me if you are already making out thats already escalated so this wouldn’t be needed.

    I never said it was needed. I said it sends them crazy! The fact you don’t know the difference is enough said! Carry on as you wish. 🙂

  61. I never said it was needed. I said it sends them crazy! The fact you don’t know the difference is enough said! Carry on as you wish.

    I misunderstood, if you put it this way I agree, sounds like a good idea.

  62. I hope this is not too unrelated but what do you do between the first and second dates? How often do you message her? I felt like it would be cool to chat to her some more but don’t want to overdo it. She seemed to resonate with me quite well. She initiated kino, and we did quite a lot of it and she loved it. My problem is, I travel to her place the capital city and I can’t bring her to my home because I don’t live there. So how do I do this? Do I suggest we meet up at her place? Or have a regular date in a bar and then I escalate and hopefully, she will invite me to her place?

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