Responsibility vs. Blame
One of my core philosophies, and one I’ve spoken about a great deal for a very long time, is the concept (and reality) that everything in your life is your fault.
It really is. Assuming you’re an adult, everything in your life is your fault. It’s not your parents’ fault, your roommate’s fault, your boss’s fault, your girlfriend’s fault, your ex-wife’s fault, or any other person in your life you’re trying to blame for your problems. No. It’s your fucking fault.
If you’re a right-wing guy, your problems are not liberals’ fault, SJW’s fault, the news media’s fault, black/Hispanic/Muslims’ fault, or whatever. No. It’s your fucking fault.
If you’re a left-wing guy, your problems aren’t Trump’s fault, rich people’s fault, the NRA’s fault, the military industrial complex’s fault, or whatever. No. It’s your fucking fault.
To show I’m being objective, I’ll even attack my own here. If you’re a libertarian, your problems aren’t the government’s fault, stupid people’s fault, or the Illuminati’s fault. Nope. They’re your fucking fault.
If you’re a red pill / manosphere kind of guy, your problems aren’t womens’ fault, feminists’ fault, hypergamy’s fault, or anti-man laws’ fault. Nope. They’re your fucking fault.
No one else’s fault, motherfucker. Just you. Your fault.
When I first posted an article about this, a lot of people got really mad, as you might expect. Read it right here. (Seriously. Read it. This article is a “part two” to that one.)
I expect more rage from this article.
This is because it’s easier to blame other people or entities for your problems instead of looking in the mirror and blaming yourself. The problem with blaming external factors for your problems is that not only is it factually inaccurate, but it will forever limit the amount of happiness and fulfillment you can experience.
One of the challenges with people when they first hear this concept is a little confusion over the word “fault.”
The word “fault,” at least in this context, breaks down into two subcategories: responsibility and blame.
If you’re reckless and stupid, and you’re swinging a sharpened sword around in the junk yard one day (just go with me on this), and you accidentally cut off your own hand, it’s your fault. The blame goes to you since you’re the one who did it. The responsibility also goes to you since it’s your hand. So it’s your fault. Most clear-thinking people aren’t going to argue with this.
But now let’s say you’re walking along in the junk yard one fine sunny day, minding your own business, and a ninja leaps out from a wreaked car, chops off your hand with his sword, and then vanishes back into the shadows.
Now things get a little complicated in terms of “fault.” Who’s fault is it?
You’d probably say it’s the ninja’s fault. But wait! It’s not that simple.
Let’s say that after the ninja vanishes, as blood is gushing out of your wrist, I come up to you and say, “Hey, you need to get a tourniquet on that thing right now and you need to go to the hospital.”
Then you reply, “What the fuck man? This isn’t my fault! I didn’t do this! It was that fucking ninja’s fault! I was just minding my own business! I didn’t do anything!”
Then I say, “Um… yeah, you need to get your ass moving to the hospital, dude. See that growing puddle of blood on the ground? That needs to be inside you.”
You say, “Yeah I know! Because of that FUCKING NINJA!!! Look at my hand on the ground! That would be attached to my arm right now if it weren’t for him!”
I say, “So are you going to bind that wound, or…?”
You say, “This is bullshit man! I shouldn’t have to…”
Then you fall over dead from blood loss.
Who’s fault was it that you died?
That’s where the difference between blame and responsibility come in. The ninja was to blame, but it’s your responsibility to fix the problem. The ninja isn’t going to fix the problem. Your mommy isn’t going to fix the problem. Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders or Angela Merkel aren’t going to fix the problem. Therefore, the responsibility is yours.
It sucks that it’s yours. It may not be fair that it’s yours. But it’s still yours.
That makes your current condition your fault.
Your current condition is that you’re standing there losing a lot of blood. At that moment, the person to blame is completely and totally irrelevant. All that’s relevant is that you need to bind the wound and go to the hospital. If you don’t do this and you die, it’s your fault. If you do it and you live, also your fault. Either way, it’s your fault.
You can scream and bitch about it being the ninja’s fault all you want. But the result of this scenario is not his fault. It’s your fault. If we had the ability to go back in time and stop that ninja before he chopped off your hand, then maybe you’d have a point. But we can’t do that. So it’s your fault.
On top of that, in the real world, usually you actually do share some blame for this stuff. Let’s say that instead of walking in a junkyard, you decided to go walk around an evil forest where you knew homicidal maniac ninjas hang out. So if one of them chops off your hand, then guess what? Not only are you responsible, but now you share at least some of the blame as well.
Even if you think you are zero percent to blame (and that is very rarely the case) it’s still your fault.
It’s not my fault! My mom molested me as a child!
Doesn’t matter. You’re an adult now and your mom is long gone. It’s your responsibly. Your current condition is your fault. What are you going to do about it?
It’s not my fault! I’m short! I’m only 5’4”!
Doesn’t matter. It’s your responsibly. Your current condition (your sex life, your income, etc) is your fault. What are you going to do about it?
It’s not my fault! I was bullied when I was a kid!
Doesn’t matter. You’re an adult now and those bullies are long gone. It’s your responsibly. Your current condition is your fault. What are you going to do about it?
It’s not my fault! My roommate stole $600 from me!
Bullshit. You didn’t have to have a roommate. You chose to do that. You didn’t have to have him as a roommate. You chose that. Regardless, the money is gone now. It’s your responsibly. Your current condition is your fault. What are you going to do about it?
And so on.
Not only do you usually share some blame, even if you think you have zero blame, it doesn’t matter. It’s still your responsibly. Your current condition is your fault.
That’s why everything in your life is your fault.
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