Dating When You Live With Family or Roommates
Man, I get a lot of questions about this.
How do I score with that girl on the second date when I live with my parents???
What do I do if I have roommates???
Right off the bat, you need to understand that there are no good options for getting laid with new women when you live with family or roommates. I get the feeling that when a lot of guys ask me about this they’re looking for some kind of magic bullet technique that will solve all of their problems.
I’m going to give you many possible options to help you out with this, but if you live with family or roommates, all of them will be difficult, all of them will be a hassle, and that’s just the way it goes.
There’s a reason I’ve pretty much always lived by myself (unless I was married to someone). I moved out of my parent’s house when I was 18 years old and moved into a shitty little apartment by myself, and I’ve never had a roommate in my entire life, by choice.
Was it hard to pay rent all by myself while I was still a teenager during a recession? Fuck yeah. I was late on my rent and my utility bills all the time. I could barely drive my piece of shit car because I often couldn’t afford any gas. There were times I couldn’t get food at the grocery store because I was out of money. I had to bust my ass and work long hours, six days a week, just to barely survive.
And you know what? It was worth it. The freedom and flexibility I had by living alone was worth every inconvenience I had to suffer. If I had to live with my friggin’ parents or a damn roommate once I was 18 years old, I’m pretty sure I would have killed myself.
Ohhhh here come the excuses. Yes, yes, I know there are always odd circumstances. Please don’t give me your excuses, I’ve heard them all. I will even address some of them in this article.
My point here is the best technique to give those of you who live with others and want to get laid is to move the fuck out and get your own place even if it sucks and/or it’s inconvenient and/or if other people in your life might get upset. (That’s their fucking problem.)
I’ll move on now, but don’t forget I said that.
Men who live with roommates / family tend to fall into three categories:
1. Younger, poor guys who (theoretically) can’t afford to live on their own and thus have roommates or still live at home with mommy and/or daddy. Some of these guys are full-time college students, some of these guys are working hard supporting their loser parents, and some of these guys are just lazy, either barely working, working for minimum wage with zero effort to improve their career skills, or not working at all.
2. Older guys who recently experienced a catastrophe (divorce, bankruptcy, business failure, etc) and are temporarily living with friends/family for the time being until they clean up their mess.
3. Guys of any age (younger or older) who, for whatever reason, have chosen to live in an ultra-expensive downtown area of an ultra-expensive city where they can’t afford to get their own place because of sky-high rents. Guys who live in London are an example of this, though there are many other cities like this (New York, Vancouver BC, etc).
These three types of guys are going to run into slightly different problems. For example, the 23 year-old poor guy might be able to have sex with a 20 year-old woman for the first time in his car, but the 38 year-old guy living with his parents because he’s going through a divorce is definitely not going to be able to do this with a woman who is 34. On the flip side, that poor 23 year-old guy is not likely able to afford a hotel, but the 38 year-old guy probably will with minimal problems.
As I go through these options for having sex when you live with family/roommates (all of which will be a hassle and you will hate), just be aware that you may need to adjust these things based on the category that most describes you above.
Before I get into these, I want to reiterate something I’ve said several times before (especially here). That is, don’t use the fact you live with other people as an excuse. Stupid teenagers and young guys have been having sex while living at home with their parents for decades without a problem. I have personally spoken with numerous men of all ages living with parents or roommates who get laid. If all these guys can figure it out, you can too. Don’t be a pussy about this and stop with the bullshit boo-hoo excuses.
That all being said, here are your options. They are not listed in any particular order.
1. Coordinate with your family/roommates to be gone at certain times. Sit down with your parents/family/roommates and explain to them that you need one or two nights a week where they need to be gone. Yes, do this even if you are 20 and you are living with your parents. Get them to commit to being gone during these times. Throw a little money at them if you have to. I’ve spoken with guys who live with their moms, and they will throw 15 bucks at her to just get her out of the damn house to see a movie while they get laid.
It’s a hassle, and can even be a little embarrassing, but it can work.
2. Use your car. This only works with much younger women with lower levels of ASD (with exceptions of course) but it can work. I’ve done it.
3. Use a hotel. This can work, but fair warning, hotel closes almost always spike ASD. As soon as you tell a woman to come to a hotel with you for first-time sex, particularly if she’s over age 33, her ASD will spike and you risk losing it all. (Ask me how I know this.) It can work if you have the budget for it (I’ve done successfully many times) and it can also spike ASD to the point where it ruins everything (I’ve had this happen several times too).
If you get her into a hotel, make sure it’s not a shithole. You don’t need to use a nice hotel, but you need to use a hotel that looks safe and clean. Once I had a super hot Asian girl with big boobs who was DTF for me but we were stuck downtown because of my bad logistics. I suggested a hotel and she agreed. I drove around with her in my car, like an idiot, trying to find a hotel. The first one I found was a shithole but I didn’t care because I was too horny and I didn’t want to stretch out the time by continuing to drive around. By the time we checked in and I got her into the disgusting hotel room, she was totally turned off and I got nothing that night. She even said, “You ruined it.”
Learn from my mistake. The best hotels to use are the cheaper, suburban “family” hotels like Holiday Inn, which run about $90-$130 in most suburban areas. They’re cheap but not gross.
4. Coordinate with a friend (or family member) and use his home instead. I’ve spoken with several different guys who have done things like this. If your family/roommates won’t cooperate with you, coordinate with a buddy and use his place once or twice a week for your sexy time. He can do it for you because he’s your friend, or you can work out some kind of barter system with him (he lets you use his place once a week, you help him with his website).
5. Chip in with other friends and get a shared apartment or office. Three times now I’ve seen a small group of guys all chip in for an apartment for sexy time outside of the house (including married Alpha Male 1.0s cheating on their wives; they even made a movie about this). I’ve seen self-employed guys rent an office, retail space, massage parlor, or similar with other entrepreneurs where they share it 50/50 (or 33/33/33).
6. Have sex outside. Obviously this only works if the weather allows and you’re dealing with younger or lower ASD women, but I’ve had sex in small forests outside of a park. You’d think this would spike ASD, but interestingly, in my experience some women actually get a sexual thrill doing this because of the public / danger aspect.
7. Get a separate apartment or office on your own. This is obviously for higher-income guys only. This is what I do as part of my OLTR marriage. I have a small, very cheap office that I’ve set up as a small apartment (and a real office too) about 15 minutes from my house where I can meet my FBs. (I will discuss this office in great detail when I write the book on OLTR marriages.) Offices are much, much cheaper than apartments. And if you’re self-employed, you can write it off on your taxes too!
8. Try to go to her place. This is usually not an option since women always like to live with other people (roommates, sisters, friends, kids, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, blah blah blah). Women also tend to be more comfortable having sex with a man the first time at his place rather than hers, since having a strange man over at her place seems more dangerous to her for irrational, biological reasons.
About 97% of all first-time sex I’ve ever had was at my place, but that means that 3% of the time I was at her place. Ask her if you can go there instead. Don’t push it if she says no, but certainly ask.
9. Use a friend’s place (with no coordination). This is when you just take her over to one of your friend’s places and use one of his rooms with minimal to no pre-planning or coordination. This only works with guys who have bigger social circles and/or one or two really close buddies whom you can just “drop in on” whenever you like, Seinfeld style. I’ve seen some younger, college-age guys do this and it works for them.
So there you go, nine options for getting laid outside of your house when you have family or roommates living with you, all of which are a fucking hassle from hell.
Don’t you think you should just set a goal to move out of there and get your own fucking place?
Just a thought.
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