Long-Term Friends With Benefits Management – A Case Study
I get a lot of questions regarding managing long-term FBs (friends with benefits).
Today I will overview the real-life case study of the longest consistent non-sugar baby FB relationship I’ve ever had. This relationship lasted from June 2012 to January 2017, 4.5 years consistent, with no breaks, nexts, or LSNFTEs of any kind.
To be clear, this was not a sugar daddy thing but a normal FB. I never gave her a dime. I started seeing her when she was 23, ended things when she was 28 or so, today she’s in her thirties and we’re still friends. The only reason I ended the sexual relationship was because she started gaining a bunch of weight, as most Western women eventually do. If not for that I could still be seeing her consistently to this very day.
I’ve had other FB relationships last much longer than 4.5 years, but those had one or more LSNFTEs and/or other “breaks” during that time. This was the longest consistent FB, at least so far.
I’ll call this woman “Amy” which is not her real name. I’ll call her that since the celebrity she most resembles is Amy Adams, so much so that the first time I saw the movie Man of Steel I was distracted by how much Lois Lane looked like my FB. Picture a 23 year-old version of Amy Adams but with bigger boobs and a bigger butt; that’s “Amy.”
Amy is the one woman I got a date with when I did the blitz I described many years ago here. It was one of the first times I had an online dating blitz with just a 2% response rate. I didn’t care, since it created my longest consistent FB ever. To save me some typing, here’s what I said about her back then, from that same article:
2% means five women responded. Within a week of me sending openers I was having sex with one of these women: A vivacious 23 year-old with a damn near perfect body. Per my usual system, we had a first date that was just under an hour. Grand total cost to me: $6.50. A coffee for her and orange juice for me (I don’t drink coffee; caffeine is a drug and I don’t do those). The very next day I just brought her to my house and we were having sex within 30 minutes. That’s a 1.5 hour meet-to-lay.
Even better, there was almost zero time spent online talking to her. Just pitched the date on the third exchange as always, and it was scheduled. This is all to be expected, because A) I’m a very woman-experienced guy, B) she was in my fastest-to-lay age range (23 to 27) and C) she was in my target market of women (very feminine and girly, loves watching Disney movies, loves dressing up in bright little dresses, very cute and submissive during sex, a solid Type 2 VYW who is very attracted to strong, masculine older men). She’s become a regular in my life since then, and I couldn’t be more pleased.
So as you can see, it was a near-effortless process to get from zero to sex with her. Her attraction for me was pretty high from the get-go regardless of the fact that I was 40 years old at the time and 17 years older than her.
Why did I make her an FB instead of an MLTR? On the plus side, her body was exactly my type, she had pretty much zero ASD, she was very feminine and sweet and pretty much never gave me drama. On the minus side, her face was not my type at all (Amy Adams isn’t exactly the blonde Barbie type that I prefer), she would sometimes have a strange smell during sex (not bad, just odd), her personality wasn’t one that was attractive to me, and she would sometimes get a little needy and/or clingy. Therefore, FB. And a fantastic one at that.
We started having sex about once a week or close to it. In following the Cardinal Rules of Nonmonogamous Relationships, I never saw her more than once a week. Because she was an FB, I didn’t go out on any dates with her.
She had a medical condition; a very mild form of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and was thus scared to drive a car (though she was just being a pussy; she could have driven a car just fine). This meant I had to always go get her and drop her back off. That was fine since she lived about seven minutes away from my house at the time. I would just pick her up, we’d go back to my place, talk for a little bit, have sex, talk for a little more, and then I’d take her back.
Every once in a while, I’d say maybe one out of every eight times we hung out, I would stop on the way and get her a two dollar burrito at the local Taco Bell or something like that.
I was the first man she had sex with after a long dry spell for her. Once we started having sex, and certainly once I got her orgasming (more on that in a minute), she sexually awakened and slowly started having sex with other guys. (I experienced this same exact thing with HBM.) She was an FB so I didn’t care. I actually tend to prefer that with my FBs since it takes much of the relationship pressure off me. Let her beta male boyfriend get all the drama and betaization while I just get the sex.
Once we were having sex on a regular basis, I started working with her to get her cumming. Again, one of the Cardinal Rules is to make them cum every time you have sex so that they’ll stick around even if you’re not giving them monogamy. I tried fingers, tongue, grinding, and nothing really worked, perhaps because of the SPD.
One night she suggested that she should finger her clit while we had sex. I don’t consider that ideal since you as the man aren’t the one “making” her cum, but it would be better than nothing if it worked.
We tried it. The first two times, nothing. The third time it worked. She came like a wildcat. Mission accomplished. I now knew that the odds of a LSNFTE would go down and the odds of her returning to me if a LSNFTE occurred were now way up.
Little did I know how right I was. She spent the next several years having sex with me and never left me once. There were times her frequency declined if she (or I) got busy with other things (or people), but she never stopped seeing me.
Did she ever complain I never took her out to dinner? Of course she did. She’s a girl. That’s what girls in these kinds of relationships do. My answer, once we knew each other well was, “Eh, I don’t really want to. I just want to hang out and talk.” This doesn’t always work with every woman, but it worked with her.
Just because she never LSNFTE’d me doesn’t mean she never got boyfriends. She certainly did. Once she sexually awoke by cumming left and right with me, she eventually got a boyfriend. He was a beta, of course, and would do things like constantly blow up her phone with stupid “how’s it going?” messages and “what are you doing?” messages and then whine and complain when she didn’t hang out with him. He never made her cum, of course. As per the usual dating model, she got irritated and bored with him and dumped him about four months later.
About six months after that she got a second boyfriend who was either an Alpha Male 1.0 or a beta with Alpha 1.0 traits. He said that he would be fucking other girls while dating her. (Big mistake dude. Never verbalize that stuff right up front. He should have read my book on open relationships.) When she told him she’d be fucking other guys, he hesitated, but then said he “didn’t care,” which, of course, was a lie.
When she told me this story, I said, “He’s going to care. Very soon. Within the next two weeks he’s going to tell you to stop fucking other men.”
“Oh no,” she said, “He said he didn’t care.”
“I don’t care what he said,” I said, “I know how men work. Just watch.”
I was right. Three days later, while having sex with her, he told her he didn’t want her having sex with any other men except him. She said okay, and then he came inside her even though she was not on any birth control. (Do you see why I have zero sympathy for most men?)
Regarding birth control, Amy was on and off birth control through the entire time I knew her. Her body didn’t seem to handle it well. I even suspect she can’t get pregnant, because she ended up having a lot of unprotected sex with some seriously stupid and reckless guys, and yet never got pregnant. But who knows? I was always very careful.
She lied to him about only having sex with him and kept on seeing me regularly while dating him (ah, monogamy). They dated for about six or seven months if I recall, and had lots of drama. Like most guys, he was extremely jealous, needy, and territorial, even though he was probably cheating on her. She put up with the drama for quite a while (women’s desire for the “boyfriend experience” is that high sometimes), but eventually she dumped his ass.
She dated one more guy during this time, but I don’t have any specific memories about him. She eventually dumped him too.
She never dumped me.
At one point, I eventually caved in to her requests to have “dinner.” So one time, just once, I broke one of the FB rules and took her out to a $27 meal at Applebee’s, which made her very happy. It was against the rules, but as I’ve said before, once you’ve mastered the rules and know what you’re doing and have a 100% solid Alpha fame, you can break a rule here and there as long as you’re careful.
We never did it again and it didn’t change the dynamic of the relationship, which I knew it wouldn’t in her case, since I already knew her so well.
Over time, she started requesting more things during sex like wanting to listen to certain songs while we had sex, or to have porn on in the background while we had sex, and so on. I don’t give a shit so I agreed to all of these things.
It got to the point where sometimes she would make herself cum a second time right after having sex while I was in the shower washing off. Such a radical difference from the sexless woman I had met so many years ago.
Eventually, as I mentioned above, she started gaining weight. It was such a shame, since her body was so damn amazing. After about 2-3 years in, her prefect trim-but-curvy body started getting a little wider and softer every month. As I’ve said before, if a woman gains a little weight, I don’t really care, and sometimes I even like it, since it often makes the tits and ass larger while keeping most everything else the same. Always a plus.
But, alas, the weight gain kept going, as it so often does with formerly attractive women. As she entered her late twenties she started getting to the point where her entire body had changed shape into something that just wasn’t attractive. She was no longer turning me on. Add to this the fact that I was losing weight at the time and having sex with hotter and hotter women. Because of all these factors, I couldn’t justify her continuing to consume my time.
I didn’t just cut it off. I just started seeing her less and less, until the less became not at all. The last time we had sex was two years ago, January of 2017.
To this very day, she’ll still send me a message over social media asking me how things are going and we’ll have a little friendly chit-chat. She’s in her thirties now and lives with a roommate in the same town where I met her.
The lessons you can learn from this, regarding having a long-term FB in your life, are:
1. Always follow all the Cardinal Rules I talk about in regard to managing relationships. If I had failed to follow any of these rules, none of this would have worked, and I mean that.
2. Always remain outcome independent and non-needy regarding other men they might have sex with. And if she’s an FB, particularly a young FB, she will fuck other guys, so prepare for this.
3. Always focus on sex. Make sure you have a lot of sex and make sure she feels amazing during sex every single time. Be the best lay of her life. Men are so bad in bed that you wipe out all the other competition when you do this.
4. Don’t start treating her like an MLTR or a girlfriend, even if she asks (and she probably will).
5. Be nice. Don’t be an asshole. Be her friend. Remember that the F in FB stands for friend.
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