first date advice, first online date, online dating advice, meaning of an open relationship, alpha male traits

This is the next installment of the book I never published regarding my history with women and the lessons I learned from it. If you haven’t yet, you should read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, and 14 before you read the article below, so you can be up to speed on where the story picks up. Everything below is all 100% true to the best of my memory, journals, and spreadsheet records, though all the names of the people described have been changed.

We last left off about ten years ago, in early 2009, just coming off of (what was then) one of my most successful months…

March 2009

Now that I had achieved my goal of maintaining multiple, ongoing, nonmonogamous relationships with several women (Emma, Darci, and a smattering of others), I dialed back slightly on the new dating activity. I didn’t stop it completely because I wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be, and I had learned from prior lessons that shutting off the dating machine is very dangerous unless you’ve already built up some kind of roster of returning women, and I had not done this yet.

Regardless, knowing that I could now bring in new women whenever I wanted with minimal problems, my focus started to shift from dating/seduction/pickup to relationship management.

The first thing I did was to to mentally categorize the women I regularly slept with. This seemed to prevent a lot of problems, confusion, hurt feelings, and drama. When I treated all the women I dated exactly the same, I had nothing but chaos. But when I purposely operated under several relationship categories, all the problems smoothed out.

Using two of the terminology acronyms already used by the pick-up artists, I categorized women I was just having sex with as FBs, or friends with benefits. Women I actually liked beyond that were MLTRs, women I was actually dating.

I came up with a third category myself that I used to call “WD” which was essentially a low-end MLTR or a new woman I didn’t know how to categorize yet.

I also came up with a forth category that I called “Candidate,” meaning she was an MLTR “candidate” for something very serious down the road (but still nonmonogamous of course), which was something I desired at some point. (This hypothetical future serious relationship I would later call an OLTR, but I didn’t have that term yet.)

Lesson Twenty-Five

Always categorize every woman you’re dating as an FB, MLTR, or OLTR and stay congruent to that category. One of the biggest things men do wrong, including experienced players, is that they treat all women they date the same. They treat all of them like fuck buddies or all of them like girlfriends. Either of these is guaranteed to cause serious problems in your woman life.

Once I had sex with a woman about two or three times, I would place her in either FB, WD, MLTR or Candidate categories. Darci was an FB. Emma was a WD who I later upgraded to MLTR. I hadn’t found any women worthy of Candidate category yet, but that was about to change in a very big way. Rolling into April and later the summer of 2009, I would add on not one, not two, not three, four women I eventually considered Candidates, all of whom became extremely long, multi-year relationships for me. (None of these women made it all the way to OLTR though, although one of them got extremely close for a long time. But I’m getting ahead of myself.) These were in addition to all the other women I was dating and having sex with at the time.

Like I said, 2009 was perhaps my craziest year.

The first of these four Candidates started out as a very casual FB. I had no idea at the time how long-term she would end up becoming. Back then, I started using the old MySpace as a way to meet younger women. It was not quite as fast and effective as the real dating sites, but it worked. Unlike Facebook, the culture of MySpace back then was that women actually welcomed random, incoming messages from complete strangers. I was able to meet and have sex with several younger women using MySpace back then, though the process took a little more time. (I talk about how to do social media game in this book.)

One day, cruising through MySpace, I came across a very hot Asian girl who had pictures that made her look like a professional model. She had a trim body, trim face, decent boobs/butt, and big Angelina Jolie lips. I don’t remember looking at her age but I figured she was about 23 or 24. I fired off an opener and she responded within about 10 minutes. We had a quick back-and-forth and she offered her phone number, which was unusual. Soon, we were texting over the phone (following one of my online dating techniques of carrying the conversation off of the dating site or app). I pitched a first meet down at one of the local mall food courts (one of my favorite places to meet VYW for first dates) and she agreed.

We met up and hit it off. She was very pleasant and happy and joked around a lot. She had a very thick Asian accent but I didn’t care. To my shock, she said she was 19. I had honestly thought she was older, but hey, who cares? I was also shocked to find out she was Filipino, since I find Filipino women to be unattractive. She didn’t look anything like a Filipino and looked more like a tan, curvy Japanese girl.

I didn’t want to eat anything, and when I wanted to wrap up the first meet at one hour, she told me I should stay and that she would buy me lunch. She did so.

Long story short, we had sex at my place the very next time we met. I was only the second man she had ever had sex with, and the first guy (a Filipino guy) she had only had sex with four times, so she was almost like a virgin. She was eager for sex (she was attracted to white men and she was Filipino, the horniest race in the world) but she knew absolutely nothing about it. I had to show her.

I added her onto the regular roster along with Emma and Darci as a very fun FB and started seeing her regularly. As an extra added bonus, she liked to clean. Yeah. She liked it. It was her “hobby,” so she started cleaning my house on a regular basis. (Ah, those non-Western Asian girls…)

Though I didn’t know it at the time, this was the woman I would later identify as HBM, who would be an FB for years, then an MLTR for several more years, then a de facto OLTR for a while after that, representing one of the longest consistent relationships of my entire life, including having sex with many of her friends just like I did with Selina. But that would all be down the road. For now, she was just a cute, bubbly 19 year-old, only worthy of FB status.

The second of these four women was almost the opposite of HBM in ever way. I met her about a month after I started seeing HBM. This was Sadie, a blonde, super hot 23 year-old Russian who had exactly the type of face and body I like (trim-but-very curvy; big ass, big boobs, etc). She had no Russian accent (having worked on getting rid of it since she said it made women “sound stupid”). She was exceedingly intelligent with a sky-high IQ, a vast and elegant vocabulary, and an Ivy League education. She was very talkative on our first date (later I found out she had been doing some cocaine just before we met). We met for a quick coffee on the middle of a Saturday, met again briefly that night where we got sexual in my car, then met a third time the very next day, on my birthday, at my place, and had fantastic sex for quite a while. (We actually might have had sex twice; I don’t remember.)

She instantly became an MLTR and, once again, became one of the longest and most important relationships during that time in my life. More on her later as well.

So as of May, I was living my dream. I had four solid, reliable women on rotation, all of whom were attractive, relatively easy to acquire, all of whom I really liked, all of whom I saw regularly.

– Darci (FB, age 23) I saw about twice a month

– Emma (MLTR, age 25) I saw about three times a month.

– HBM (FB, age 19) I saw every week (along with getting my house cleaned).

– Sadie (MLTR, age 23) I saw two to three times per month.

Hell yes! Another goal accomplished! I had accomplished my pick-up and seduction goals; now I had accomplished my relationship goals as well (which I considered even more important).

In just about two years I had gone from a sexless, hopeless, divorced beta male to a guy who could have sex with hot new women pretty much whenever he wanted while dating four hot, younger women (all 10+ years younger than him) in exactly the nonmonogamous configuration he wanted.

And and I was only just getting started…

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Alpha Male 2.0 World Tour 2019

40 Comments on “The Story of My History with Women – Part 15 – Long-Term Relationships

  1. Would like you to go into detail about your story with HBM!!

    Do you think you did something wrong that ended your relationship?

    Would also like to go deep into your other high end mltrs.

  2. Would you consider sharing with us somehow the profile photos you were using at that time? I know you wouldn’t share your current ones but this is years and years ago right?

    The reason I ask is that I have read all your books several times and put everything you teach into practice with great care to follow everything you recommend as accurately as possible, yet I have only managed about 4 dates in the past year, none of which went to date 2. Basically I almost never get responses to my openers.

    I’m well above average in looks having worked as a model in the past, have a gym body, am sharply dressed and get compliments all the time, and the only thing I can think of is that my photos must be bad, although again, I’ve followed the guide you have on photos as perfectly as I can.

    I think seeing your photos might be very enlightening, thanks for your consideration.

  3. BD, at this point in time, were you still dating and having sex with new women on top of the 4 you had on rotation? If so, were they mostly one night stands or how were you able to manage more women on top of the current 4?

    Also, to maintain a healthy pipeline, how often should a guy meet new women if he currently has a stable rotation of 3 – 4 women? Assuming he hasn’t yet built a roster of returning women.

  4. One of the biggest things men do wrong, including experienced players, is that they treat all women they date the same. They treat all of them like fuck buddies or all of them like girlfriends. Either of these is guaranteed to cause serious problems in your woman life.

    What are some “classic” or common errors along these lines? In what ways would you treat a FB like a girlfriend that would be “wrong” (and vice versa)? Has “how to run a FB relationship” already been covered somewhere?

  5. Would like you to go into detail about your story with HBM!!

    Sure, in future articles in this series.

    Do you think you did something wrong that ended your relationship?

    No. She just started getting comfortable and started giving me drama more often. It happens. She also wanted kids really badly and I kept moving on the opposite direction.

    Would also like to go deep into your other high end mltrs.

    Sure, in future articles in this series. Also, on Thursday, I’m posting a detailed case study of one of my long-term FBs.

    Would you consider sharing with us somehow the profile photos you were using at that time?

    That’s a good idea for a separate future post. Added.

    The reason I ask is that I have read all your books several times and put everything you teach into practice with great care to follow everything you recommend as accurately as possible, yet I have only managed about 4 dates in the past year, none of which went to date 2. Basically I almost never get responses to my openers.

    The reason I ask is that I have read all your books several times and put everything you teach into practice with great care to follow everything you recommend as accurately as possible, yet I have only managed about 4 dates in the past year, none of which went to date 2. Basically I almost never get responses to my openers.

    I’m well above average in looks having worked as a model in the past, have a gym body, am sharply dressed and get compliments all the time, and the only thing I can think of is that my photos must be bad, although again, I’ve followed the guide you have on photos as perfectly as I can.

    If you have a gym body (I have and always had a chubby body) and no one is responding to your openers, then either you aren’t sending enough (I sent thousands) or something else is going on and seeing my old photos won’t provide any revelations.

    BD, at this point in time, were you still dating and having sex with new women on top of the 4 you had on rotation?

    Yes, but not much.

    If so, were they mostly one night stands or how were you able to manage more women on top of the current 4?

    A percentage of women one-night-stood me, so that was some of them, yes (though I never one night stand women). The rest were very sporadic or short-term, i.e. not regular.

    Also, to maintain a healthy pipeline, how often should a guy meet new women if he currently has a stable rotation of 3 – 4 women? Assuming he hasn’t yet built a roster of returning women.

    Hm, good question. It made me think. I think, under those conditions, you should be adding 1-2 women every 2-5 months. Keep doing this (more or less) until you’ve cranked up your roster to at least 15 women, then you can back off on the activity if you wish.

  6. What are some “classic” or common errors along these lines?

    Exactly what I said. A guy treats all of the women he dates the same.

    In what ways would you treat a FB like a girlfriend that would be “wrong” (and vice versa)?

    To name just a few:

    – Going out on dates.

    – Spending the night.

    – Long talks on the phone.

    – Seeing her more than once a week.

    – Etc.

    Has “how to run a FB relationship” already been covered somewhere?

    This book and all over this blog. Check the archive and also take a look at this article. Also watch for the article coming this Thursday.

  7. Would you say that a guy in his thirties who is very fit/muscular (body fat percentage of around 10% or slightly less) has it easier when it comes to Type 3 VYW than the *average* guy in his early twenties  ?

    I am looking at these older daygame coaches in their early to mid thirties who hit the gym frequently and they have better physiques and style than the majority of early twenties guys on the local university campuses.

     

  8. she was Filipino

    Very hot, very nice.

    Around 10 years ago I travelled to south east Asia and sampled many lovely Asian ladies there. I enjoyed sampling the many gilrs on offer in Thailand and found them to be good value for money but I could only be with prostitutes there.

    In Manila it was different. I did sample some fine and and well priced, lovely young ladies and ladyboys when I first arrived, but then I met a lovely young Filipino girl through a mutual acquantence, she was in her early 20s and grew quite attached despite me being in my late 50s at the time. I had the most lovely time with her and have many fond memories but also had alot of very sexy fun in the bedroom mmmmmmmm

    For men who are bored with paying for prostitutes I would recommend Filipino girls, they are happy to date an ugly, older man, like me.

  9. Would you say that a guy in his thirties who is very fit/muscular (body fat percentage of around 10% or slightly less) has it easier when it comes to Type 3 VYW than the *average* guy in his early twenties  ?

    Yes.

    I am looking at these older daygame coaches in their early to mid thirties who hit the gym frequently and they have better physiques and style than the majority of early twenties guys on the local university campuses.

    Yep.

    I would recommend Filipino girls, they are happy to date an ugly, older man, like me.

    Filipino women are, as I’ve said, the horniest women on the planet, and love foreigners. All true, yes.

    However if you’re “old and ugly,” they will fuck you, but there will often be a Disney, financial, or religious motivation behind it and will often expect girlfriend or wife status from you down the road. (Though this isn’t really an issue if you’re just in the Philippines to get laid for a week and then leave.)

  10. I’m well above average in looks having worked as a model in the past, have a gym body, am sharply dressed and get compliments all the time, and the only thing I can think of is that my photos must be bad, although again, I’ve followed the guide you have on photos as perfectly as I can.

    You need to have someone else (men and women) look at your photos and profile..  Also do a little recon for your area..  Talk to buddies about what works in your area. Once I did that my results improved… Your results for a year are some of my weeks and I’m not a former model that’s for sure.

  11. I’ve always found Filipino women to be super ugly, unless they’re ones with more Spanish blood, so I wouldn’t have sex with any, even if the sex was free.

    The ones I consider hot, have a more Eurasian look, but these types are pretty much always taken, whether they live in the Philippines, or live in another western country they’ve emigrated to and live in.

  12. These non monogamous relationship advices are gold. Not too many PUAs talk about this. It can make lots of guys lives easier.

  13. The women I’m sleeping with are all on the pill. I 100% do not want children, so even though they are on the pill I’m going to start wearing a condom to put my mind at ease. How do I handle their questions on why I’m suddenly putting on a condom even though I know that they’re on the pill?

  14. I’ve always found Filipino women to be super ugly, unless they’re ones with more Spanish blood, so I wouldn’t have sex with any, even if the sex was free.

    Agree, more or less. I don’t find Filipinos attractive in the least either.

    HBM didn’t look Filipino at all. Even other Filipinos she would meet thought she was another Asian race.

    These non monogamous relationship advices are gold. Not too many PUAs talk about this.

    Correct. Most PUAs are focused on helping you have sex with new women, not re-fucking existing ones. Which is important, but it’s not the only woman skill you need.

    How do I handle their questions on why I’m suddenly putting on a condom even though I know that they’re on the pill?

    Show them this article (or verbally tell them its points):

    http://blackdragonblog.com/2013/08/08/5-reasons-you-should-never-trust-birth-control-pills/

  15. @ BD interesting article.  So, I suppose you should have at least many dozens of women by now in your roster. And you mentioned the return rate is 94%. Why do you then consider going mostly/all sugar route now since you are still in US? I feel the majority of women you meet are sugars from the previous post.  Is there some difficulty making them just FB now?

  16. I do think it’s your fault, only little, but still your fault that she(HBM) grew comfortable with you?

    If not, what’s stopping PF from going comcomforta with you and giving you drama?

  17. You need to have someone else (men and women) look at your photos and profile..  Also do a little recon for your area..  Talk to buddies about what works in your area. Once I did that my results improved…

    John, do you think personal opinions are more valid than a site like photofeeler?

    I feel like my results (with landing dates) have been sub par, and since now is go time… I got some studio portraits done.  I’ve sent them to several friends that basically all said “wow these are great, you look really good”, but when I have them on photofeeler the results have been kind of discouraging (basically getting “average” and a lot of “somewhat attractive” votes).

  18. John, do you think personal opinions are more valid than a site like photofeeler?
    I feel like my results (with landing dates) have been sub par, and since now is go time… I got some studio portraits done.  I’ve sent them to several friends that basically all said “wow these are great, you look really good”, but when I have them on photofeeler the results have been kind of discouraging (basically getting “average” and a lot of “somewhat attractive” votes).

    I don’t think it’s a question of better..  Photofeeler is going to give you a brutally honest opinion of how attractive you are..  Friends will help you pick which photos you should use..  Asking people you know is more for setting up your profile.  Women do this.  They will have a girls night where they get together and help their gf’s setup their profile.  Picking pictures… telling them what to say..  Have their gfs respond to messages for them..  They’ll even invite a token beta over to get a males opinion.  Talking to people over messages and setting up profiles is chick shit not alpha male shit. I watch football and fuck.. I don;t sit around critiquing my pictures and thinking of witty shit to say.. The more help as a man I can get the better..

    Btw, a little better than average will get you tons and tons of pussy if you improve the areas you can control above that as high as possible..  Body, clothes, smell, personality, game..  Women I meet on dates call me all kinds of adjectives from handsome to gorgeous in person and I’m about a 6 I’d say but my game on dates is a 10+.  I don’t make mistakes…  Same women would say they thought I was just “cute” in my pictures.  Women think with their emotions.. Improve what you can control..

  19. @ BD interesting article.  So, I suppose you should have at least many dozens of women by now in your roster. And you mentioned the return rate is 94%. Why do you then consider going mostly/all sugar route now since you are still in US? I feel the majority of women you meet are sugars from the previous post.

    1. Only the minority of the women on my roster are sugars, but most of the recent ones are, and the more recent the woman the easier it is to bring her back.

    2. As I already said above, I plan on having non-sugars come back (already have) and I will continue to see those women, so perhaps it was presumptuous of me to say in the other thread that eventually 100% of all the side women will be sugars. That probably won’t happen (until perhaps the far future) for the reasons you just stated; my roster is large.

    3. PF prefers that the women on the side are sugars. They don’t have to be and I’m not forced to, but I try to make things easier on her when I can. Obviously if you don’t have an OLTR wife like I do this won’t be an issue for you.

    Is there some difficulty making them just FB now?

    Yes. Turning sugar babies into non-paying MLTRs is doable (takes a strong frame but its doable) but transforming them into non-paying FBs is difficult. I’ve done it twice and it took a decent amount of effort both times, and I’m at the point in my life where I don’t want to put effort into my woman-life anymore (besides my relationship with PF). I’m much too focused on my work and Mission. If I was 27 I’m sure I’d feel differently.

    I do think it’s your fault, only little, but still your fault that she(HBM) grew comfortable with you?

    Of course it was my fault. Everything in my life is my fault.

    If not, what’s stopping PF from going comcomforta with you and giving you drama?

    Nothing. PF can wake up one morning and give me all the drama she wants (and it will probably end the relationship unless she turns it around ASAP) and there is nothing to stop her. She’s her own woman and she’s free to do whatever she likes. And so am I.

    The reason this is less likely with PF and/or will take PF a lot longer to do this than HBM is Disney wife status, something HBM never got (and badly wanted) and something PF received. Being someone’s wife is a big deal to women, which is why they put up with things like this. But there’s nothing keeping them around if they’re not a wife or serious GF. That’s why LSNFTEs don’t really happen with OLTRs but they happen with MLTRs and FBs all the time.

    In terms of getting too comfortable, PF doesn’t get a single penny of my money if she leaves me and I can fuck other women on the side whenever I want and do (thus she knows she’s not my only source of sex and can’t use withdrawal of sex as a weapon or betaization technique). These two factors drive the “getting too comfortable” factor down when compared to monogamy.

    But none of these are guarantees of course. There are no guarantees in life.

  20. Hey BD, I know the rule is to never see FB more than once per week but is there an upper limit? Like if you see her less than once per month she will drop off?

  21. Hey BD, I know the rule is to never see FB more than once per week but is there an upper limit? Like if you see her less than once per month she will drop off?

    The general number I use is six weeks. Four weeks is pushing it, yes (but can work).

  22. tw, a little better than average will get you tons and tons of pussy if you improve the areas you can control above that as high as possible..  Body, clothes, smell, personality, game..  Women I meet on dates call me all kinds of adjectives from handsome to gorgeous in person and I’m about a 6 I’d say but my game on dates is a 10+.  I don’t make mistakes…  Same women would say they thought I was just “cute” in my pictures.  Women think with their emotions.. Improve what you can control..

    No doubt, the reason I asked about the pictures was… the couple of pictures I used were rated very high (8.8, and 7.5 on attractiveness), also high in the other 2 categories as well. The new matches/dates have started to slow almost to a trickle. Now I was planning on rebooting all of my profiles, but wanted to add more photos (since both of the ones I use are kind of similar).

    Definitely agree with the date skills. I don’t think I’m quite at that on point yet, but I definitely do pretty well. Thanks, appreciate the feedback!

  23. I love this serie! It’s great concrete example. And great discussion too.

    So with these 4 women in rotation you had sex each week with:

    1+(3+3+2)*12/365*7=2.85 ~ 3 of these 4 women each week in average approximately

    So if you add up the irregular women, how many women did you have sex with per week in average in this crazy period of your dating life? 4, 5… 6 different women per week in total?

    Also among the 4 regular women you had in rotation, how many hours did you spend in person with each when you met approximately? It’s to give us an example of the “once per week rule, but can last more than 24 hours” rule for MLTRs, and how you treat each women differently in term of time management. Could you please add this information in your breakdown? For instance with random numbers:

     

    – Darci (FB, age 23) I saw about twice a month 3 hours each time in average always about the same amount of time
    – Emma (MLTR, age 25) I saw about three times a month 8 hours each time in average but sometimes very long 55 hours and sometimes very short 1.5 hours
    – HBM (FB, age 19) I saw every week (along with getting my house cleaned). 4 hours each time in average but sometimes very long 8 hours and sometimes very short 2 hours
    – Sadie (MLTR, age 23) I saw two to three times per month 12 hours each time in average always about the same amount of time

  24. The new matches/dates have started to slow almost to a trickle.

    I wouldn’t worry about it too much.  that’s normal..  Maybe change your profile picture..  But time of year makes a huge difference with online dating.  BD has an article on this.  Things are little different from BD’s timing in colder climates, up north where I live, but the point still stands..  Between New Years and valentines is amazing until you actually get close to valentines then not so much..  Some women start to couple up for the holiday.. Ex new guy they don’t care..  Just anyone..

  25. I do think it’s your fault, only little, but still your fault that she(HBM) grew comfortable with you?

    Of course it was my fault.

    BD.Can you give a few examples how a guy can make a girl to become” too comfortable” if he respects the “Cardinal rules” and soft nexts always?Or a girl only becomes “comfortable” if you break the rules?

  26. a very long time ago,i read your report from nextasf or masf about your relationship with HBM.You said that you tried to work with her,but she continued to give you drama and you soft nexted her for 3 weeks or somthing like that,i dont remember.

    I also had an OLTR in the past who started to give me drama,even though i soft nexted her multiple times,and the more drama she gave me,the more my attraction for her and my love for her dropped,until i dumped her.Have you had the same experience?The more a girl gives you drama,the more your love for her gets lower?

  27. BD.Can you give a few examples how a guy can make a girl to become” too comfortable” if he respects the “Cardinal rules” and soft nexts always?Or a girl only becomes “comfortable” if you break the rules?

    If you follow all the Cardinal Rules religiously a woman will never feel that comfortable, which is a good thing (exception: if she’s a live-in OLTR a little of that “bad comfort” the creeps in no matter what you do). If she’s an FB or MLTR, she’ll still eventually LSNFTE you because she’s not getting the boyfriend experience she desires, but she’ll never get comfortable or start taking you for granted. That’s why your return rates will be so high.

    Bad comfort only happens if you don’t follow the Cardinal Rules, which is most guys.

    a very long time ago,i read your report from nextasf or masf about your relationship with HBM.You said that you tried to work with her,but she continued to give you drama and you soft nexted her for 3 weeks or somthing like that,i dont remember.

    Yeah, that was a long time ago, but I’m pretty sure that’s when she gave me drama when we went on a trip to Canada towards the end of our relationship. Giving me drama while I’m on a trip with you is a serious offense.

    I also had an OLTR in the past who started to give me drama,even though i soft nexted her multiple times,and the more drama she gave me,the more my attraction for her and my love for her dropped,until i dumped her.Have you had the same experience?The more a girl gives you drama,the more your love for her gets lower?

    Yes, the exact experience, and more than once. Yes, if a woman gives me drama both my attraction and feelings for her drop, often instantly.

    However! Not all men are like this. Many men (Hispanics, certain high-drama Alpha Male 1.0s) actually experience a spike in attraction when their women give them drama. So not all men are created equal in this.

  28. ^

     

    yeah. A certain speaker at the 21 convention said on his instagram a while back that he likes hispanic women that “call him out on his bullshit” if he comes home late etc.

    Like WTF ? From all the guys I know (myself included) the last thing they want from a woman is for her to get angry with them as soon as they come home.

  29. @ BD Since all women will eventually leave while you practice cardinal rules avoiding boyfriend behavior, what is the point of not showing some boyfriend behavior? this is something not clear in your system for me. you want to keep them as much as possible but at the same time why you show certain behavior for them to eventually leave? Can’t you keep them much longer being more like their boyfriend? what’s wrong with that? Why you cannot be like boyfriend for more than one women?

    As you said some men have more than one love and affection boxes. why not fill those boxes at the same time if you will be more satisfied emotionally as well? even for someone who goes after just sex, if showing some boyfriend behavior helps  keeping them longer with you why not do it so you can have more sex and less effort needed to having to return someone else back? if this rule(not dating women or being in love with another women or not having MLTRs once you have OLTR) exists only because women wouldn’t let you behave other side women like boyfriend can’t you be more discreet on that to solve the issue?

    for example, let’s say you have 2 MLTRs. why you can’t behave them as 2 girlfriends? they already know you have sex with other women and they passed the Talk and they are still with you. instead of upgrading the favorite one to OLTR and downgrading the other one to FB to eventually leave why you can’t keep them both behaving them more like their boyfriend?

     

     

  30. @ BD Since all women will eventually leave while you practice cardinal rules avoiding boyfriend behavior, what is the point of not showing some boyfriend behavior?

    Don’t girlfriends tend to leave anyway, and with a nasty fallout at that?

  31. Caleb,so a guy is an Alpha 2.0 if he follows the cardinal rules,if he passes shit tests,if he is not a provider,soft nexts everytime,doesnt compromise and is not afraid of losing her.If i do all of this things but im very affectionate due to my love language Physical Touch and the “touchy” culture i was born,will i lose frame due to my affectionate behaviour in the case of mltrs or oltrs?

    Should i control my behaviour and show less affection?Or i can show how much affection i want ?

  32. Caleb,several studies have shown that guys have physical jealousy(dont want other guys fucking their gf),but girls have emotional jealousy(dont want her bf to get feelings for other girls).

    If you have a high end mltr,and you are on a date with a mid mltr or a low mltr,and your high end mltr,who  is your “gf”,sees you with the mid mltr or the low mltr,HoW should you react?I mean chances are high that you will get dumped by the high end mltr in a situation like that,if she sees that you are affectionate with the mid/low end mltr.

  33. Lynda

    I also had an OLTR in the past who started to give me drama

    how long your oltr relationship lasted?

  34. @ BD Since all women will eventually leave while you practice cardinal rules avoiding boyfriend behavior, what is the point of not showing some boyfriend behavior?

    1. Boyfriend behaviors will create drama, demands, betaization, boredom, murder attraction, and reduce the odds of a return after a breakup.

    2. Boyfriend behaviors are allowed in an OLTR, just not with MLTRs or FBs.

    As you said some men have more than one love and affection boxes.

    Multiple affection boxes, yes. I have 3.

    Multiple love boxes, no. Men with more than 1 of these are extremely rare. The vast majority of men (myself included) can only LOVE one woman at a time.

    why not fill those boxes at the same time if you will be more satisfied emotionally as well?

    Sure, go ahead.

    if showing some boyfriend behavior helps  keeping them longer with you why not do it so you can have more sex and less effort needed to having to return someone else back?

    No. That is the exact opposite of how women actually work. Read this.

    Caleb,so a guy is an Alpha 2.0 if he follows the cardinal rules,if he passes shit tests,if he is not a provider,soft nexts everytime,doesnt compromise and is not afraid of losing her.

    There are more requirements for Alpha Male 2.0 than that (outcome independent, confident, location independent income, always sexing multiple women, etc).

    If i do all of this things but im very affectionate due to my love language Physical Touch and the “touchy” culture i was born,will i lose frame due to my affectionate behaviour in the case of mltrs or oltrs?

    No, that’s fine. My primary love language is phyiscal touch as well, and I’m super touchy; not a problem if you’re doing everything else correctly.

    Should i control my behaviour and show less affection?

    With an OLTR, no.

    With an MLTR, maybe, maybe not; depends on the individual scenario.

    With FBs you should not feel affection, just lust.

    Caleb,several studies have shown that guys have physical jealousy(dont want other guys fucking their gf),but girls have emotional jealousy(dont want her bf to get feelings for other girls).

    Correct. I define this as “jealousy” for women and “territoriality” for men. Women are jealous. Men are territorial.

    If you have a high end mltr,and you are on a date with a mid mltr or a low mltr,and your high end mltr,who  is your “gf”,

    Incorrect. Your high-end MLTR is not your GF. Only your OLTR is.

    (You can call your high-end a “GF” but you need to be very careful if you do this, and she still doesn’t get all the boyfriend behaviors.)

    sees you with the mid mltr or the low mltr,HoW should you react?

    http://blackdragonblog.com/2014/07/20/relationship-problems-what-to-do-when-a-girl-sees-you-with-another-girl/

    …and control your logistics. Dating two MLTRs who operate in the same social circle or live in the same neighborhood (for example) is not a smart thing to do. I’ve never done this.

  35. “If you have a gym body (I have and always had a chubby body) and no one is responding to your openers, then either you aren’t sending enough (I sent thousands) or something else is going on and seeing my old photos won’t provide any revelations.”

    I don’t see how it could be anything else other than bad photos. Although I’ve hired professional photographers over and over again trying to improve them and again following your guidelinies. I send out the opener designed on your advice in your book, so how bad could that be? I also modeled my profile after your post on the profiles contest where you tested a bunch of them and found the one that generated the most positive responses.

    I certainly am not sending “thousands” though, I don’t see how that is possible. Even if I was willing to sleep with 1’s and 2’s I don’t believe there are even 1000 active profiles on POF for example,  which appears to be the biggest online dating site. My city is around 2 million people, I exclude only black women and search ages 18-30 within 20 miles it gives about 50 pages of women who have logged in within the last 30 days that’s like 800 women in TOTAL and there’s no way I’m getting hard for even half of them.

    I’m pretty sure 90% of women these days are all on Tinder. Certainly you don’t see any women at all on traditional sites who are as hot as you see on Tinder on Bumble which have endless profiles of 8+’s.

  36. I send out the opener designed on your advice in your book, so how bad could that be?

    If your pics and profile are truly as you say you should be getting messages and women would respond to a simple opener like “Hi Barbie..”. 100’s of women are telling you something. Is wrong with your profile..  you’re going to have to figure that out.. how’s caleb or anyone going to tell you what that is if they can’t see your profile? personally I ran it past buddies who were having success and female friends.  if you don’t have any get some..  hang out at a bar or gym..  I did..  didn’t take long after my divorce..  I also made female friends, I didn’t fuck, just so I could use them for advice…  women can smell antisocial with no friends  a million miles away…

  37. I don’t see how it could be anything else other than bad photos.

    Send out openers to anything above a 5 (you don’t have to fuck them, go out with them or even respond if you don’t want).  If only 5 and 6’s respond then that’s your current market value online.  If no one responds then it’s lower.  that is determined obviously by your attractiveness, photos, and profile.  usually all 3.    You can either accept that and get laid by a bunch or thirsty 5’s and 6’s or you can upgrade your value by working on your looks, pics, and photos.  Or you can hit on everything that moves out and about..  Let your game elevate you.

  38. TryTryTryAgain,  you don’t state your age…are you going after women who are a lot younger?

    In my experience, and based on what I’ve read, chasing younger women (age gaps of 8+ years) via online is a really hard slog, unless you look younger than your age, and lie about it in your profile.

    Sugardaddy game seems to be the exception, although that’s a different game.

  39. Solid advice piece hitting the 2 major pain points for those of us with 90% of our Alpha 2.0 shit together…women coming back even if you provide nothing but good times (I buy this hook, line and sinker) and getting used to women you’re fucking, fucking other men  (my main stumbling block to a hardcore Alpha 2.0 lifestyle).

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