The Story of My History with Women – Part 15 – Long-Term Relationships
This is the next installment of the book I never published regarding my history with women and the lessons I learned from it. If you haven’t yet, you should read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, and 14 before you read the article below, so you can be up to speed on where the story picks up. Everything below is all 100% true to the best of my memory, journals, and spreadsheet records, though all the names of the people described have been changed.
We last left off about ten years ago, in early 2009, just coming off of (what was then) one of my most successful months…
Now that I had achieved my goal of maintaining multiple, ongoing, nonmonogamous relationships with several women (Emma, Darci, and a smattering of others), I dialed back slightly on the new dating activity. I didn’t stop it completely because I wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be, and I had learned from prior lessons that shutting off the dating machine is very dangerous unless you’ve already built up some kind of roster of returning women, and I had not done this yet.
Regardless, knowing that I could now bring in new women whenever I wanted with minimal problems, my focus started to shift from dating/seduction/pickup to relationship management.
The first thing I did was to to mentally categorize the women I regularly slept with. This seemed to prevent a lot of problems, confusion, hurt feelings, and drama. When I treated all the women I dated exactly the same, I had nothing but chaos. But when I purposely operated under several relationship categories, all the problems smoothed out.
Using two of the terminology acronyms already used by the pick-up artists, I categorized women I was just having sex with as FBs, or friends with benefits. Women I actually liked beyond that were MLTRs, women I was actually dating.
I came up with a third category myself that I used to call “WD” which was essentially a low-end MLTR or a new woman I didn’t know how to categorize yet.
I also came up with a forth category that I called “Candidate,” meaning she was an MLTR “candidate” for something very serious down the road (but still nonmonogamous of course), which was something I desired at some point. (This hypothetical future serious relationship I would later call an OLTR, but I didn’t have that term yet.)
Always categorize every woman you’re dating as an FB, MLTR, or OLTR and stay congruent to that category. One of the biggest things men do wrong, including experienced players, is that they treat all women they date the same. They treat all of them like fuck buddies or all of them like girlfriends. Either of these is guaranteed to cause serious problems in your woman life.
Once I had sex with a woman about two or three times, I would place her in either FB, WD, MLTR or Candidate categories. Darci was an FB. Emma was a WD who I later upgraded to MLTR. I hadn’t found any women worthy of Candidate category yet, but that was about to change in a very big way. Rolling into April and later the summer of 2009, I would add on not one, not two, not three, four women I eventually considered Candidates, all of whom became extremely long, multi-year relationships for me. (None of these women made it all the way to OLTR though, although one of them got extremely close for a long time. But I’m getting ahead of myself.) These were in addition to all the other women I was dating and having sex with at the time.
Like I said, 2009 was perhaps my craziest year.
The first of these four Candidates started out as a very casual FB. I had no idea at the time how long-term she would end up becoming. Back then, I started using the old MySpace as a way to meet younger women. It was not quite as fast and effective as the real dating sites, but it worked. Unlike Facebook, the culture of MySpace back then was that women actually welcomed random, incoming messages from complete strangers. I was able to meet and have sex with several younger women using MySpace back then, though the process took a little more time. (I talk about how to do social media game in this book.)
One day, cruising through MySpace, I came across a very hot Asian girl who had pictures that made her look like a professional model. She had a trim body, trim face, decent boobs/butt, and big Angelina Jolie lips. I don’t remember looking at her age but I figured she was about 23 or 24. I fired off an opener and she responded within about 10 minutes. We had a quick back-and-forth and she offered her phone number, which was unusual. Soon, we were texting over the phone (following one of my online dating techniques of carrying the conversation off of the dating site or app). I pitched a first meet down at one of the local mall food courts (one of my favorite places to meet VYW for first dates) and she agreed.
We met up and hit it off. She was very pleasant and happy and joked around a lot. She had a very thick Asian accent but I didn’t care. To my shock, she said she was 19. I had honestly thought she was older, but hey, who cares? I was also shocked to find out she was Filipino, since I find Filipino women to be unattractive. She didn’t look anything like a Filipino and looked more like a tan, curvy Japanese girl.
I didn’t want to eat anything, and when I wanted to wrap up the first meet at one hour, she told me I should stay and that she would buy me lunch. She did so.
Long story short, we had sex at my place the very next time we met. I was only the second man she had ever had sex with, and the first guy (a Filipino guy) she had only had sex with four times, so she was almost like a virgin. She was eager for sex (she was attracted to white men and she was Filipino, the horniest race in the world) but she knew absolutely nothing about it. I had to show her.
I added her onto the regular roster along with Emma and Darci as a very fun FB and started seeing her regularly. As an extra added bonus, she liked to clean. Yeah. She liked it. It was her “hobby,” so she started cleaning my house on a regular basis. (Ah, those non-Western Asian girls…)
Though I didn’t know it at the time, this was the woman I would later identify as HBM, who would be an FB for years, then an MLTR for several more years, then a de facto OLTR for a while after that, representing one of the longest consistent relationships of my entire life, including having sex with many of her friends just like I did with Selina. But that would all be down the road. For now, she was just a cute, bubbly 19 year-old, only worthy of FB status.
The second of these four women was almost the opposite of HBM in ever way. I met her about a month after I started seeing HBM. This was Sadie, a blonde, super hot 23 year-old Russian who had exactly the type of face and body I like (trim-but-very curvy; big ass, big boobs, etc). She had no Russian accent (having worked on getting rid of it since she said it made women “sound stupid”). She was exceedingly intelligent with a sky-high IQ, a vast and elegant vocabulary, and an Ivy League education. She was very talkative on our first date (later I found out she had been doing some cocaine just before we met). We met for a quick coffee on the middle of a Saturday, met again briefly that night where we got sexual in my car, then met a third time the very next day, on my birthday, at my place, and had fantastic sex for quite a while. (We actually might have had sex twice; I don’t remember.)
She instantly became an MLTR and, once again, became one of the longest and most important relationships during that time in my life. More on her later as well.
So as of May, I was living my dream. I had four solid, reliable women on rotation, all of whom were attractive, relatively easy to acquire, all of whom I really liked, all of whom I saw regularly.
– Darci (FB, age 23) I saw about twice a month
– Emma (MLTR, age 25) I saw about three times a month.
– HBM (FB, age 19) I saw every week (along with getting my house cleaned).
– Sadie (MLTR, age 23) I saw two to three times per month.
Hell yes! Another goal accomplished! I had accomplished my pick-up and seduction goals; now I had accomplished my relationship goals as well (which I considered even more important).
In just about two years I had gone from a sexless, hopeless, divorced beta male to a guy who could have sex with hot new women pretty much whenever he wanted while dating four hot, younger women (all 10+ years younger than him) in exactly the nonmonogamous configuration he wanted.
And and I was only just getting started…
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