“Don’t cry for me Argeeeeeeeeeeeeentina! The truth is I neeeever left you!”

(I’ve been singing that song while here.)

Of all the cities I’m visiting on this Latin America trip, Buenos Aires is the one I’ve wanted to visit for the longest time. While I’m pretty sure I’m resolved to spend most of my time in Australia or New Zealand (with a mix of Hong Kong in there) when I make my final exit from the USA in January 2022, at one point Buenos Aires was on my short list of possible places to make my primary residence.

The reason for this visit is to see if Buenos Aires could make a viable, possible, secondary home for me at some point in the future if my current chosen homes don’t work out. So the entire time I’ve been here (just under a week), I’ve been asking myself, “Could I live here?”

Well, could I? Let see…

The City

Unlike Panama City and Asuncion, Buenos Aires is huge and vast metropolis. Unlike Mexico City, which seems like a mass of houses and small buildings that go on forever, Buenos Aires is much more a “real” New York-type city, skyscrapers and all.

New York isn’t actually the best comparison. Instead Buenos Aires is just like a European city. When I say “just like,” I mean just like. Walking around downtown Buenos Aires is pretty much identical to walking around downtown Rome or Paris, except that everyone speaks Spanish and the prices are much cheaper (and the women look very different, but I’ll get to that in a minute).

Good European Aspects

This duplication of Europe covers both the good things about Europe as well as the bad.

The good includes the amazingly beautiful architecture. There is endless block after block of some of the most beautifully constructed, articulate, pre 18th-centruy style buildings, perhaps even better than what you’d see in a comparable European city. In all seriousness, I could spend three or four entire days just walking around the city admiring and taking pictures of these buildings (but I’m an architecture junkie).

The food here is similar to European, specifically an Italian style, where high-carb food is everywhere. Every city block has at least one, and often two “pizza” restaurants that sell pizza, empanadas, and/or pastries. It’s an absolutely horrible place to visit for a guy on a ketogenic diet like me. It took me hours of searching to find a place that had normal salads. When I finally found one, I ordered one, started eating it, to my sadness I found that they had mixed soggy french fries into the fucking salad. I shit you not.

The next day, I ordered another salad at another restaurant (which actually had menus in English, a rare thing in Buenos Aires), carefully went over the ingredients (which looked okay even though there were some items I couldn’t identify), and ordered it. It came, and the god damn thing was full of pasta. Yeah, they had actually mixed fucking pasta into the salad with the greens and chicken.

Oh, Argentina!

Speaking of horribly-bad-for-you-but-awesome food, they have these really yummy things here called “alfajor” (pronounced “alpha whore”, and no, I’m not kidding).

Picture a little, circular chocolate-covered cake, about the size of a really thick Ding Dong. Inside is a very thick chocolate or white cake with one or two layers of really thick caramel that comes in different flavors. These things don’t look like much, but when you actually take a bite, holy shit. Very good. They’re everywhere here; every store sells them, most hotels have them in the wet bars, and they even give them to you on the plane. Yum. And very bad for your diet… unless you’re Argentinean, because…

The crazy thing about it is that people here aren’t fat. Argentinians are quite trim, probably the skinniest people in the entire Latin world. Just like in Hong Kong, everyone here eats high-carb, high-sugar garbage all day long, yet they stay skinny(!). How the FUCK do these countries do this??? Oh well.

Like most countries outside the US, they serve sparkling water as well as normal flat water here. Instead of most other countries calling this “sparkling” or “flat” water, in South America they call their water “con gas” (with bubbles) or “sin gas” (i.e. “no gas,” without bubbles). It’s funny to tell people that yes, I’d like my water without gas, please.

There are many places throughout the city that stink, and I mean that literally. I’ve visited many cities that have a distinct smell (Hong Kong included), but never once have I visited a part of a city, smelled it, and wanted to hold my nose. I’m not sure why parts of the city smell this badly; it must be a combination of the food, water, and/or humidity.

People in BA are, like most South Americans, very friendly (though not nearly as friendly as the Paraguayans). One taxi driver was particularly helpful to me, and when leaving his car I offered him a tip. He flatly refused it, telling me to, “Chill out, man.” I really wanted to tip the bastard because he was helpful and a great guy. He wouldn’t take my money.

I also asked the staff at my hotel where I could purchase a small fan. The hotel was very nice, but the building was old (most buildings in BA are) so the AC wasn’t very effective. The woman instead offered me her personal fan from her office. Very cool.

So BA is pretty cool in that chill, European way, but, as I said, it has adopted the bad aspects of Europe as well.

Bad European Aspects

BA is rampant with homeless people. Holy shit. BA has easily more homeless people than in any Latin other city I visited, including Mexico City, which is really saying something. The good news is that they’re very chill homeless people, and for the most part don’t accost you in the streets like they do all day long in Mexico.

Particularly sad is that I get the distinct impression that homelessness in BA is an actual lifestyle instead of a bad thing that happens to you that you need to recover from. For example, you’ll see things like a homeless guy sleeping next to his decently nice motorcycle. Since abortion is illegal in Argentina (Jesus), many homeless women have babies. Yeah, babies. Some homeless woman will be sitting on her mattress on the sidewalk or in an alleyway somewhere nursing or bouncing her baby up and down. Horrible.

Then there’s the other way in which the Argentineans have copied Europe, particularly Southern Europe: shockingly intense disorganization.

I have flown to scores of cities all over the planet, and have used a massive number of airports in numerous countries. The downtown Buenos Aires airport (Aeroparque Jorge Newbery or AEP) is the single worst airport I have ever used. That’s really saying something, since most of the airports in places like Australia and the Collapsing USA really suck ass. AEP is worse than all of them. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s true.

We land at the airport, the plane taxis over to the airport, and then just sits there. The airplane staff report something in Spanish (that I don’t speak, yet) but I can pick up that it will be “a few minutes.” We sit there… for 45 fucking minutes. Then, finally the plane rolls over to another area. To my sadness, I realize that there is no jet bridge, and it’s pouring down rain. Awesome. Now I’m going to have to walk outside in the pouring rain for no reason. Great.

I shake my head as the disorganized Argentineans roll over a stupid rolling set of stairs to the plane, as if we’re in Africa or something. Passengers start to disembark. Then they stop. We’re standing there in the plane, not sure why we’re waiting. I look out the window and see why. Just like in Europe, they’ve sent over a fucking bus to pick us up, and the bus is now full. It leaves, and now we have to stand in the crowded plane waiting for another bus. (You couldn’t have a jet bridge? You couldn’t have parked closer to the receiving area? You couldn’t send two buses? Okay.)

Another 10 minutes, standing in the plane, waiting. The second bus arrives. I walk out into the pouring buckets of rain, lugging my luggage bag down the stupid stairs, and get into the bus, soaked.

The bus drives us to customs and border control. None too impressed with the Argentineans so far, I’m worried that this process might take hours. Thankfully, both border control and customs move pretty quickly. You don’t even have to fill out one of those dumb entry forms most countries make you use. Nice. At least they’ve done that right.

But oh no, it’s not over. I thought I was home free. Boy, was I wrong.

I leave customs and enter into what is probably the most over-crowded airport I’ve ever seen in my life. Massive mobs of people, mashed into each other, bumping into each other, trying to get past each other, all mashed into this much too small international airport serving a city of 13 million people. The ridiculousness of the entire thing is just staggering. Again, it’s like something you’d see in Nigeria.

I push my way through the throng, looking for the taxi section. The exits and taxi locations are clearly labeled, unlike many American airports (coughOrlandocaugh). Good.

I make it out to the taxi area and wait in line. Fortunately it’s not too long. My taxi pulls up, and I note that there’s a huge sign on the windshield that clearly displays all the credit cards the taxi driver takes, including Visa and MasterCard. Again, good. The Asuncion airport was too small to provide me with any Argentinean Pesos, so I need to use my credit card for the taxi, then I’ll get my pesos once I get settled at my hotel.

I get into the taxi. Knowing from past travel experience that many taxis actually don’t take credit cards, or take them but only with a shitload of hassle, paperwork, and complaining (coughNewYorkcough) I verbally ask the guy, “Credit card?” and point at my MasterCard debit card. He gives me a horrified look and practically screams, “No! Cash only!” I’m outcome independent, so I’m not going to take the time out of my day to point out that he has a massive sign in his windshield clearly declaring to the world he does take credit cards.

I get back out of the car, pull my bag back out, go over to the taxi captain, point at the taxi and tell him that this taxi doesn’t take credit cards. He doesn’t speak English, but as best he can, he tells me that none of the taxis do (fucking great) and that I have to go back into the airport to do… something.

Fuck it. I’ll try to use Uber. Using Uber to take you to the airport is a great idea, but using Uber to pick you up from an airport is often confusing and a pain in the ass, especially in a foreign country. But at this point, I’ll give it a shot. I’ve been at this fucking airport for well over an hour and I’m ready to get the hell out of here.

I fire up the Uber app only to be informed that Uber is “restricted” in Buenos Aires and pickups are only done at certain locations, none of which include the airport.

Fuck.

Now starting to get irritated, I go back into the jam-packed, way-too-crowded airport, push my way through the mass of bodies, and look for a taxi counter. In Panama, Paraguay, and Colombia, you have to use a taxi counter to purchase a taxi “ticket” for your location in advance, using a credit card or cash. I assumed this is what the guy meant.

So I push through the sea of bodies looking for a taxi counter.

There is none.

Fine. I start looking for a currency exchange kiosk.

There is none.

I look for an airport map.

There is none.

Oh, fuck me. Are you kidding?

Okay, fine, I start looking for an ATM. I can just use my debit card to pull out Argentinean pesos, no problem.

Except, no, there are no ATMs. None.

Yes, you heard me. There are no ATMs in this international airport terminal.

I keep walking, keep looking, slowly pushing through the mob as fast as I can. I ask for help from some of the airport staff. They don’t speak English. At an international airport. Ooooookaaaayyyy.

Finally, thank goodness, I see a bank up ahead. Cool. They’ll have an ATM!

My heart sinks as I approach. It’s closed down, its doors locked, some kind of legal notice in Spanish plastered on all the glass walls.

Fuck me.

I keep looking, keep pushing through bodies.

Finally, I find an information desk. I ask the lady where the fuck I can get Argentinean pesos so I can pay your fucking taxi drivers in fucking cash who advertise they can take credit cards but don’t. Any bank, ATM, or currency exchange service will do. Thank god she actually speaks English. Un-thank god, she tells me the only way to do this is at a bank way on the other side of the terminal.

Fuck me in the ear.

So, great. I start my long journey, once again, through the mass of bodies. Finally I find Banco de la Nación, a teeny tiny bank with just two people behind a counter… and a huge long line of people.

Great. I stand in line, pull out my headphones, Bluetooth them to my phone, and watch some business videos while waiting.

15 minutes later… the line hasn’t even moved.

40 fucking minutes later… I finally get up to one of the bank tellers.

I expect the worst, like they’ll be “out of pesos,” or won’t take US dollars, or some other insanity. I don’t even try to give them my Paraguayan guaraní; that will probably just confuse them. (I want to save those for my next visit to Paraguay in a few months anyway). Amazingly, they’re able to exchange my US dollars for Argentinean pesos without a problem. I’m shocked.

I finally trudge back out to the taxi line, which is now four times longer than when I originally stood in it.

Finally, after an eternity, I get into a taxi, show the guy the address to my hotel, and we’re off. He speaks very broken English, but enough to understand me. I ask him why the airport is so crowded. He shrugs and says, “Maybe the rain?”

Yeah. Okay.

I spent almost three fucking hours trying to get out of that airport from the moment the plane’s wheels hit the tarmac. This is the record for the worst, longest, most disorganized airport I’ve ever had the displeasure of using.

In the modern era, there is no excuse for this. There just isn’t. Absolutely unacceptable. Fucking Mexico was better than this. Poverty-stricken Paraguay was far more efficient than this. If you’re Argentinean, you should be embarrassed.

This rampant disorganization extends to other areas in Buenos Aires. It was pouring down rain the first two days I was here, and none of the infrastructure is prepared for it. Cars were regularly driving through foot-and-a-half deep “lakes” in the middle of primary, downtown roads. It’s even worse than Washington DC.

At grocery stores, check-out lines are so long that people are actually standing in the store’s isles. Let me explain that so you get the visual. Imagine you’re in a big grocery store like Target or Safeway and are in the dental isle looking for some toothpaste. Now imagine that entire isle is full of people who are in line for the checkout stand which is all the way at the front of the store. Now imagine that all the check-out lines in the entire store are like this. Yes, that’s how it is in Buenos Aires.

Holy fuck.

The Women

Sadly, the women here are… just average. Like in Mexico, while they’re not ugly by any means, they’re just average.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying Argentinean women look like Mexican women. They absolutely don’t. Argentinean women are mostly white and with sharper features, and there’s a great degree of different kinds of looks, types, and body styles (whereas Mexican women all sport the same overall look). There are Hispanic types, European types, even some Asian-looking types. As I mentioned above, Argentinean women are not fat, and range from sexy-curvy to skinny; fat women are present but unusual, and usually limited to much older ladies. One of the women here informed me that Argentina is number two in the world for the number of women who have anorexia (Japan being number one).

It’s also true that Argentinean women have much bigger boobs and butts than white Western women; that’s without question. The problem is that Buenos Aires pales in comparison to the bootylicious majesty you’ll experience in countries like Colombia or Paraguay. Argentina doesn’t even come close to these places in terms of female hotness. More importantly, in Buenos Aires these big butt / big boobed bodies are with women who have average faces instead of cute or hot faces.

So even if you tell me that body is more important than face (which I sometimes don’t disagree with), while Argentina is certainly better in the boob/butt department than the West, it’s still inferior to several other South American countries, including little Paraguay who is right next door and who has nicer and more pleasant women. Argentinean women aren’t unkind, but, at least as far as I can tell, they aren’t the happy, kind, eager sweethearts you’ll find in most other Latin countries. The women in BA are just a little too urbanized and Westernized.

I’ve been here almost a week, spending literally hours a day walking around the city, and using my hot, cute, average, ugly scale, I’ve seen a grand total of one woman who I thought was full-on hot, and only a handful of cuties. All the rest of the women are just average (not ugly; Argentinean women are not ugly, just average).

The Weather

Humidity, once again, is a problem. It’s not dreadful, but it’s bad. I suppose that, for some odd reason, once you cross over the southern United States, literally everything to the south of that, all the way to fucking Antarctica, is humid. This makes no sense to me at all, since I have no idea why Australia and New Zealand don’t have a humidity problem. Very weird.

So pretty much for this entire Latin American trip I have been forced to take two showers most days because of the disgusting stickiness that occurs in humid climates. The only time I don’t have to do this is when I’m indoors for the entire day. Such a shame.

The rain. Oh fucking god, the rain here. Look, I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest of the USA, Seattle / Portland area, so I know all about rain, believe me. Rain has been a near-eternal part of my entire life. (This is one of the many reasons I’m leaving this region.) I’ve also spent plenty of time in places were you get sudden, torrential downpours like Chicago or Washington DC.

Regardless, the rain here is something else. Where I live, it rains most of the year, but it’s weak, pussy rain. It’s no big deal and there is never any flooding or anything close to that. It’s just wet. In Buenos Aries, it rains like it rains in Chicago/DC, where it feels like you’re being sprayed by a fire hose. But unlike Chicago/DC, the rain keeps going, and going, and going. It doesn’t stop after 10-15 minutes. Oh no. The shit just keeps going and going, sometimes all day.

The first full day I spent here, this bucket-rain persisted all day long with no break. I normally carry a small, portable umbrella when I travel, but this BA rain made short work of that, so I was forced to buy a “real” umbrella of normal size. Even with that umbrella I was pretty much drenched within two hours of walking around.

Wow. I thought I knew rain. Apparently I didn’t.

Lastly, the ocean here is brown. I don’t mean brown-like, I mean brown. All the water is brown. Not sure if that’s a seasonal thing or if it’s like that year-round, but it’s kind of depressing.

Is It Cheap?

The big plus for Westerners moving to or spending time in Buenos Aires is that it’s so cheap. But is it?

Well, sort of. It is certainly cheaper than any other Western city of its size, that’s for damn sure. But is it really cheap? Not really. Taxis, food, hotels are all cheaper than you’d expect, but they’re not cheap, especially when you consider truly cheap regions like SE Asia or places like Paraguay. So if one was going to move here just because it’s cheap, I think you might be disappointed. I was expecting things to be cheaper. And they were, but not as much as I was expecting.

So, Could I Live Here?

No. I don’t think I could ever live in a city that is this disorganized and with this many people plus the humidity. These things would drive me insane within the first month. I would far rather live in cute, backward little Asuncion which is just as disorganized but with so much fewer people that it doesn’t matter. And it’s cheaper and the women are hotter.

I suppose a possible counter-argument is that I could live in one of the smaller Argentinean towns far outside of BA. (Doug Casey does this.) But one of my requirements is that I need to live within easy driving distance to a major airport, so that kills that.

Buenos Aires is, for me, in the same category as cities like New York or Los Angeles, in that they are really fun places to visit and spend time in, but I would never live there, even under a five flags scenario.

And that’s okay. One of the reasons for these visits is to see how much I like a place. If I don’t like it enough to live there, that’s good info for me.

I find it very interesting that I wouldn’t live in BA but that I would live in Asuncion. Before this trip, I expected the exact opposite.

Montevideo and Uruguay

After my stay in BA I spent a quick day and a half in Montevideo, Uruguay so here’s a quickie on that. I wanted to take the time to visit Montevideo since it always ranks at the top of all the charts in terms of livable cities in the Latin world.

After taking a three-hour ferry ride from BA (a very nice ferry ride; the “ferry” is more like a very fancy cruise ship), across the depressing brown ocean, seeing Montevideo is a nice experience; it’s a little white city on the water.

Montevideo is essentially a much smaller, quieter, cleaner, and cuter version of Buenos Aries. The city is much cleaner and the people are more quiet and chill than in BA, but other than that, it’s pretty much the same culture other than very minor differences.

The women are one notch lower than in Buenos Aries because the prevalence of chubby/overweight women is a little higher in Montevideo (but they are still nowhere near as fat as places like Mexico).

A nice, quiet, chill place, I can see why it ranks so highly on the livability charts. I really enjoyed it after the hustle-bustle of Buenos Aries.

One really bad thing: internet is fucking terrible in Montevideo, and that includes on my phone and wifi, even in fancy hotels. Jesus, I had a lot of trouble with that here.

By the way, the internet (both phone and wifi) as well as voice calls were somewhat problematic in Buenos Aires too. I had no other internet or phone trouble in any other Latin country, even in Paraguay.

Coming up next, my final Latin country on this trip before I head back home: Colombia!

54 Comments on “A Dragon In Argentina

  1. I will visit Buenos Aires, my main goal is to dance tango there.

    Now main goal for 2019: Colombia!!!!! Can’t wait.

     

    Good report thanks Caleb.

     

  2. I’m surprised you didn’t comment on the women teeth, BD. When I visited BA I was horrified by the ammount of crooked teeth in the otherwise good looking girls. It helps giving them a little of a horseface. Also many of them are thin but have a flacid body like they never exercised in their lifes

  3. Would you say Buenos Aires is a third world shithole?

    Interesting review. That’s kinda how I imagine most of Latin America compared to South East Asia: more european, less efficient, worse food, more expensive, taller demanding drama queen women with less pretty faces but rounder asses, worse public transports, worse english, more pickpockets and more crime.

    I am in Manila for a few days. I have lived here before and it’s my 5th time. I tried to keep a positive mindset. My judgement is now clearly that Manila is a creepy and sordid third world shithole. Very disorganised and full of stupidity is at work, many things are super frustrating on a day to day dimple things. Contrast is shocking when just coming from Thailand where everything is super convenient and efficient.

    Cebu city is same level but smaller. Davao City is good.

  4. Just a note regarding BA airports. AEP is the “city” aiport mainly used for domestic and a few south american destinations.  The real, proper aiport everyone uses is actually EZE (Ministro Pistarini) which is 35 Km SW of Buenos Aires.

  5. Not sure why you did not consider Chile…was just there and loved it. Not disorganized, clean and nice, very paleo food, and I thought the women were pretty nice. Santiago is a great place.

  6. Would you say Buenos Aires is a third world shithole?

    No, not even close. It’s on the high end of second world, on par with southern Europe. Problematic, but certainly not a shithole.

    AEP is the “city” aiport mainly used for domestic and a few south american destinations.  The real, proper aiport everyone uses is actually EZE (Ministro Pistarini) which is 35 Km SW of Buenos Aires.

    In no way excuses anything I said in the article. In a normal country, it would be fixed, or closed off to all international flights, or shut down.

    ever been to brazil?

    I’ve never been there but I know a lot of about it for someone who has never been. Had friends there, done business there, dated women from there, etc.

    Not sure why you did not consider Chile

    I did consider Chile and even considered moving to Santiago. As I said in the Mexico post, I couldn’t fit Brazil or Chile into this particular trip. I hit six different countries so something had to give.

    I’ll probably hit Chile and Brazil in 2020.

  7. In no way excuses anything I said in the article. In a normal country, it would be fixed, or closed off to all international flights, or shut down.

    Yeah, I wasn’t implying that. AEP is horrible and I don’t even know why it’s still operating, just saying that it’s not the usual airport. In fact you arrived there only because you came from Paraguay.

  8. once you cross over the southern United States, literally everything to the south of that, all the way to fucking Antarctica, is humid. This makes no sense to me at all, since I have no idea why Australia and New Zealand don’t have a humidity problem.

    Buenos Aires isn’t as high in latitude/ far from the equator as NZ, and Australia has desert influence. There are other factors too; I wouldn’t be surprised if the fact it’s sitting south of the largest rainforest in the world is a factor.
    Perhaps you’d find it different if you visited in another month (November is one of BA’s wettest months, June has less than half the rain) or a city further south.

  9. or a city further south.

    That’s exactly my point. To avoid the humidity below the southern USA you have to go south of Buenos Aires? What the fuck is south of Buenos Aires? Not much.

  10. That sucks you had that airport experience. Regarding the women, I’ve always heard that they were really good looking, but extremely stuck up/difficult to lay. I was surprised when you said they were very average looking.

    People mentioned you not going to Brazil or Chile, but what about Lima in Peru? That city is just as big as BA.

     

    once you cross over the southern United States, literally everything to the south of that, all the way to fucking Antarctica, is humid. This makes no sense to me at all, since I have no idea why Australia and New Zealand don’t have a humidity problem.

    Not to nitpick, but Mexico aside from the coasts doesn’t really have humidity.

  11. That’s exactly my point. To avoid the humidity below the southern USA you have to go southofBuenos Aires?What the fuck is south of Buenos Aires? Not much.

    Actually some areas of Brazil are pretty dry and cool (like Brasilia for example). Rio isn’t excessively humid either (but it is extremely hot)

  12. Not sure why you did not consider Chile…was just there and loved it.

    +1 for Santiago, Chile. My favorite South American city so far, especially if I had to pick one for longer-term living. I was there in March and it was not humid, warm but not too hot, very orderly and clean, and felt very safe at night in the good neighborhoods. And the combo of nice city with some modern skyscrapers and shopping malls + the parks and green colors around and the big mountains in the background is super cool. Just don’t go to the poor neighborhoods / cities in Chile.

    Visited Buenos Aires for a week earlier this year, was way worse than I expected and not even close to Santiago for a place to live long-term.

  13. Actually some areas of Brazil are pretty dry and cool (like Brasilia for example).

    Yeah Colombia wasn’t humid at all, strangely, even though it’s right by Panama which is humid as hell. So apparently there are random little pockets of non-humid areas. World climate is very weird.

  14. It’s about making huge compromises and being able to live with them when moving from a first world county to a 3rd world country.  Everyone it seems who wants to get away from America, moves to a shithole, then complains about it not being like America. Is there a way to insulate yourself in American and make that little place great again?

    Dead set on leaving? You should check out Spain, Andorra or my fav. Switzerland (girls just not hot here).

  15. Nice report.  I’ve been to BA a number of times for work and was there again for the first time in several years over Thanksgiving weekend for pleasure with a friend who passed through Lima, Santiago, and then BA.  I agree that BA is fun to visit (dinner starts at 11 pm, bars fill at 1 am), but I don’t think I could live there long term.

    I also disliked the AEP airport and wondered why I found only one ATM machine OUTSIDE the international arrivals.

    BA sits on the Rio de la Plata, which is the confluence of two rivers.  Hence, the (fresh) water is brown.  It is the widest  river in the world, which is why everyone usually thinks it is the ocean.  The saltwater probably starts somewhere past Montevideo when the river water mixes with the ocean.

    The Chilean and Peruvian coasts are awash with cold and violent currents from Antarctica, which makes those coasts home to some of the driest places on earth (Atacama desert and Lima can be chilly and foggy but get almost no rain).  On the other hand, the Atlantic waters are relatively warm (hence the humidity).  Latin America’s solution to heat, humidity/rain, and mosquitos seems to be elevation (Mex City 7500 feet, Bogota 8000+, Quito(Ecuador) 9300, La Paz (Boliva) 12000).  BA and Rio de Janeiro are at sea level on warm water and suffer more from flooding and humidity due to the poor administration / disorganization that you noticed immediately.

    Argentinians are among the top beef consumers in the world in terms of kg consumed / year per capita. The US and Brazil and I suppose Uruguay are also big consumers (10 million cattle in Uruguay for 3 million people).  That said, you probably have to order a big steak and sit down for an hour at a nice place, of which there are few in the touristy Obelisk area downtown.  I have always eaten the big steak dinners at restaurants in the Puerto Madero district, but I found it was almost too much food for one sitting this last time.  The Obelisk area does have a lot of cafes and pizzarias, possibly because they are faster turnover for all the tourist / business lunch traffic(??).

     

     

  16. Lastly, the ocean here is brown. I don’t mean brown-like, I mean brown. All the water is brown. Not sure if that’s a seasonal thing or if it’s like that year-round, but it’s kind of depressing.

    Buenos Aires is actually inside an estuary, where many rivers pour their sediments towards the ocean. Just looking at the map I am pretty sure water all year round brown because it’s inside the interface between the rivers and the ocean.

    “The Río de la Plata (Spanish pronunciation: [ˈri.o ðe la ˈplata], lit. “river of silver”) — rendered River Plate in British English and the Commonwealth and La Plata River (occasionally Plata River) in other English-speaking countries — is the estuary formed by the confluence of the Uruguay and the Paraná rivers. It empties into the Atlantic Ocean, forming a funnel-shaped indentation on the southeastern coastline of South America. Depending on the geographer, the Río de la Plata may be considered a river, an estuary, a gulf or a marginal sea.[3] For those who consider it a river, it is the widest river in the world, with a maximum width of about 220 kilometres (140 mi).”
    Wikipedia
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%ADo_de_la_Plata
    (you can see on the picture the contrast between the brown water in the Rio de la Plata, and the blue water in the Atlantic ocean)

  17. forgot to mention…

    Medellin, Colombia (second largest city) 4900 feet elevation and ‘city of eternal spring’

  18. The saltwater probably starts somewhere past Montevideo when the river water mixes with the ocean.

    Yes, since I was on a boat for 3 hours headed east into the ocean, all the way to Montevideo, and it was nothing but brown as far as the eye could see, the entire way. It was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.

    Montevideo’s ocean is just as brown as BA’s.

  19. Off topic but maybe an idea for an article since your mission is to help some men become happier and a happy environment can help:

    Use the maps of the human development index (kinda first world, second world, third world):

    https://brilliantmaps.com/first-second-third-worlds/

    In relation with the happy planet index:

    http://happyplanetindex.org

    And your 5 flags knowledge concerning cheap cost of life countries A, where one chooses to live.

    To discuss best places to live (regardless of climate and which is too subjective). Female beauty is also too subjective however a discussion about a more objective criteria such as easiness to lay would be pertinent.

  20. International happiness indexes are utterly meaningless because different people/cultures are made happy by very different things. But I have an article planned for my other blog about that so I’ll leave that until then.

  21. Haha welcome to Argentina!! jajajaj

    Have in mind that the massive mob people you saw on the airport maybe has something to do with the problems we are having right now with Aerolineas Argentinas and G20.

    But I could be wrong.

    Damn, I’m reading you really had a bad experience here… the airport, the women, the disorganization, the rain.

    I found your review quite interesting… in fact, thanks to you I’m considering visiting paraguay/colombia in 2019.

    Too bad you hadn’t a pleasant experience here.

     

  22. Yeah Colombia wasn’t humid at all, strangely, even though it’s right by Panama which is humid as hell. So apparently there are random little pockets of non-humid areas. World climate is very weird.

    If you were in Bogota that’s mostly due to altitude. Colombia has an incredibly diverse climate, from the pacific lowlands which receive over 13 meters of rain per year in spots to the hot and very dry desert of the Guajira peninsula. About half the country is in sweltering lowlands of the Amazon or Orinoco basins. The cool thing is that many of the andean cities like Medellin, Bogota, Manizales, etc. are at a perfect altitude to have gorgeous mild (but often wet) weather year round.

  23. You will enjoy Chile.  The have a climate very similar to California.  Very arid, same with Peru.

    I know people who farmed here in the states, and then in the winter in Chile, and then Mexico before it all starts up in the US again.  Nobody hates Chile.  They have fresh fruit and vegetables like the US because it’s like California.

    You go to Argentina for the meats!  You missed out.  Nobody eats salad there, because the humidity makes it impossible to control mildew in the crop.

     

  24. That’s funny how you said Abortion is Illegal there and women are homelsss with babies. That’s some Right Wing Utopia in action for ya. I can only IMAGINE seeing that kind of shit rampant in the USA if Roe vs. Wade ever came apart in the South and Mid Western States. Seeing homeless women with kids because Abortions are Illegal had to be the most barbaric thing I’ve ever read on this blog.

    I’ve always wanted to visit Argentina.. that’s sad to hear it’s THAT disorganized.

  25. You seem to draw a lot of conclusions based on your own personal experiences over a short trip, which is fine, but the problem is that you present them as authoritative statements: “city X is Y”.

    I can tell you that I was in Buenos Aires exactly at this time a year ago and did not draw any of the same conclusions. I didn’t notice homeless people, didn’t notice any smells, didn’t have any problems at the airport, didn’t notice the humidity, there was no rain, and thought the women were much hotter than average for Latin America.

  26. Thanks for the travel reports BD. I am planning a North and South America trip next year myself and Asuncion has popped in my radar because of your report. I look forward to your report of Colombia, I heard it has amazing women! I hope you visit Medellin too and not just Bogota.

  27. everyone here eats high-carb, high-sugar garbage all day long, yet they stay skinny(!). How the FUCK do these countries do this???Oh well.

    Probably good genetics or they are WAY more active than people in the US. Or both.

    You can eat that kind of stuff all day and if your genetics are proper, you’ll be good. Hate to agree with the incels, but genetics ARE everything.

  28. Seeing homeless women with kids because Abortions are Illegal had to be the most barbaric thing I’ve ever read on this blog.

    Seriously. Its about as bad as the feminists utopia where the only people on the planet are gay women and every dude on the planet is castrated and only exists to be a punching bag for a chick.

  29. Nobody eats salad there

    Yeah no shit.

    You seem to draw a lot of conclusions based on your own personal experiences over a short trip, which is fine, but the problem is that you present them as authoritative statements: “city X is Y”.

    I tend to speak authoritatively, yes. That’s just my tone. I’ve said many times in my other city reviews that this is just my impression based on a week visit, nothing more. I think it would get repetitive fast if I said that every single time I did a city review.

    I can tell you that I was in Buenos Aires exactly at this time a year ago and did not draw any of the same conclusions. I didn’t notice homeless people, didn’t notice any smells, didn’t have any problems at the airport, didn’t notice the humidity, there was no rain, and thought the women were much hotter than average for Latin America.

    Did you stay for an entire week? That’s great if you didn’t encounter any of these things, but I clearly noticed and encountered all of those things. Doesn’t mean either one of is the “right” one, but it also doesn’t mean either of us are wrong.

    Humidity and women are a matter of opinion in many cases, so I believe you on that. If there was no rain or airport problems while you were there, it sounds like you got the luck of the draw and I did not. The only problem I have with what you said is that I find it bizarre you seriously didn’t notice any homeless people. I don’t see how you could not have seen many of them during your stay (again, unless you were just there for a day or two).

    You can eat that kind of stuff all day and if your genetics are proper, you’ll be good.

    An entire city of 13 million people with fantastic genetics for never getting fat? I suppose it’s possible, but I don’t think that’s it. (Though I honestly have no idea what “it” is.)

  30. Was in Argentina for 3 weeks earlier this year.  Had stays in BA at the beginning and end of my trip.  Some of my employees work there so they got to show show me the local scene. My observations:

    1) The locals refer to their own country as a 3rd world shit hole.  Mostly due to corruption and nepotism n government.  They admire Chile and it’s superior economy.

    2) Women there are FEMININE.  But perhaps you get this across all of S. America.  And as someone who lives in the PNW just about every woman outside of Tatooistan will appear feminine to me.

    3) Neighborhoods are everything in BA.  Where did you stay Blackdragon?  I stayed in Palermo Soho (younger, hipster hood) and Retiro (high class, yuppie hood).  No noticeable homeless in either!

    4) My God eating healthy there is tough!  Vegetarians would starve and eating keto I also found next to impossible.  They can’t even do sushi right, adding cream cheese to every roll.  On the other hand, the milanesas are out of this world good and fairly keto.

    5) Locals will be the first to tell you that visiting this time of year is a bad idea.  Humidity through the roof.  It’s perfect in February/March.

    6) Real estate in BA is tied to the US Dollar so there are no deals to be had.  Rentals on the other hand are a steal.

    7) The difference between both BA airports is night & day.  I’ve flown into and out of both.  The other, more international airport, is far more efficient. Ironically enough I had the same ATM issue as you did., only one open in the whole damn airport.  Seriously, how does that shit even happen in a civilized world?

    8) I was able to get an Uber from that airport. I wonder if something changed?  My understanding when I was there is that Uber is technically illegal thanks to the taxi lobby, but you can still use the app.

    Finally, I would never make Argentina a home.  Too unstable.  Too corrupt.  Chile on the other hand…

  31. This makes no sense to me at all, since I have no idea why Australia and New Zealand don’t have a humidity problem.

    I dare you to say that after you’ve spent summer on the Gold Coast in Queensland!

  32. never had any problems in bsas airport

    just take the first taxi and tell him to stop at an atm on the way

    as for cities you would have preferred mendoza probably

  33. I’ll probably hit Chile and Brazil in 2020.

    If you like women with pretty faces (european style), nice asses and big fake tits, you will be right at home in the more expensive parts of São Paulo!

  34. BA and Rio de Janeiro are at sea level on warm water 

    Yeah you should dip your feet in Rio’s water and you will see its definitely not warm. Thats why it is not so humid as other brazilian coastal cities (like in the norhteast, where it is ridiculously humid). But less humidity means higher temperatures so it still sucks

     

    BD you dont eat chicken salad in Argentina, its all about the beef. And Asado is very keto friendly.

    That probably helps argentinians to be lean, they eat more steaks than anyone in the world

  35. I always get a chuckle from BD when he drags the collapsing US, and then goes to visit a country that has existed in slow, perpetual collapse since the 30s:

    https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/09/argentina-crisis-wrong-180914154523757.html

    Theres an accountancy concept called transfer costing (where you get someone else to bear the cost of what your profit center incurs, while you retain all the benefits), combined with the concept of arbitrage.

    The reason the tax rates are so low in those places is they are hidden in the endemic corruption.

    BDs business doesn’t have any traditional means of production so he doesn’t have to worry about having that nationalized, but I’m not sure what good it does when the countries he’s visiting don’t have a functioning banking system or enough tax base so the police aren’t forced into corruption.

    Bribes are taxes, IMO.

  36. They are almost same distance from the equator.

    @Gang: If that’s meant as a disagreement with my comment, I suggest you reread it.

    Colombia has an incredibly diverse climate

    This.

    I always get a chuckle from BD when he drags the collapsing US, and then goes to visit a country that has existed in slow, perpetual collapse since the 30s

    That’s interesting. I don’t know if the western world will ever collapse into a “3rd world shithole”, but it could slowly retreat to a 2nd world baseline and kinda stay there.

  37. Yeah the G20 is currently on in BA, but these travel reports are usually posted a couple weeks after BD has left a destination, not while he’s there. I don’t mind BD travel review reports, but they’d lend themselves a lot better to being put on a BD Instagram page, where you’d have a lot more pics showing yourself in a location and also include pics of the women.
     
    They don’t have to be selfies of you with any women in the destination being reviewed, but if any pics are like that, that’s helpful to see on a visual medium like Insta.

    Actually Australia in its summer period (December-February) does have pretty bad humidity if you’re visiting the far northern part of it, but everyone up there has aircon.
     
    My advice is move to either New Zealand, or to Aus (be it Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, or the Gold Coast).

  38. I dare you to say that after you’ve spent summer on the Gold Coast in Queensland!

    Pink Firefly and I are spending a week in Gold Coast in February to evaluate as another possible place to live. If it’s very humid there, and yeah it might be, that will be a real disappointment.

    don’t mind BD travel review reports, but they’d lend themselves a lot better to being put on a BD Instagram page

    Correct and agree. My new Instagram page is coming soon. (Lots of new stuff like that is coming shortly.)

    My advice is move to either New Zealand, or to Aus (be it Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, or the Gold Coast).

    Yes, that’s where I’ll probably go. Auckland, Sydney, and Melbourne are left-wing as hell, but at least they aren’t humid.

  39. What business videos do you watch? Who’s the author? What’s the YouTube channel?

    Officially, there’s no such thing as ‘tarmac’ at the airport. It’s just what the media uses to sound knowledgable.

  40.  

    Auckland, Sydney, and Melbourne are left-wing as hell, but at least they aren’t humid.

    Crazy expensive, though.

  41. What business videos do you watch? Who’s the author? What’s the YouTube channel?

    I’ll discuss those topics at my other blog.

    Crazy expensive, though.

    Sydney, yes. That’s part of the problem.

  42. Bogota is a HUGE City on basically Mt. Everest. Higher elevation than Denver and even Mexico City. Love to hear your thoughts on that. Still Colombian women are fucking hot with cute faces and amazing bodies so im sure you wont be disappointed on that end. I think they are undoubtedly the hottest women in Latin America. Too bad you aren’t going to Medellin..

  43. Quick question – if you do decide to move to a country where speaking English is not a norm, how would that impact your women (FB) acquiring strategy (as even if you move with PF, you would still want to consistently have “side women”)?

    As you don’t like throwing money at women and taking new girls out to expensive dates is a big no no in your current relationship set up, charming a girl on a quick hour date and getting her to bed on a second meet up will be very difficult when you and the new girl don’t speak the same language.

  44. Quick question – if you do decide to move to a country where speaking English is not a norm, how would that impact your women (FB) acquiring strategy

    Be a mysterious foreigner and target college hotties? This is just the right kind of frame, you’ve graciously brought a piece of your exciting life to her undeserving land, and she has to qualify herself, in particular with her command of the English language, to earn a moment of your attention.

  45. Quick question – if you do decide to move to a country where speaking English is not a norm, how would that impact your women (FB) acquiring strategy (as even if you move with PF, you would still want to consistently have “side women”)?

    I have had sex with multiple women who did not speak English. It’s a hassle but it can be done. With sugar daddy game it’s even easier.

    As you don’t like throwing money at women and taking new girls out to expensive dates is a big no no in your current relationship set up, charming a girl on a quick hour date and getting her to bed on a second meet up will be very difficult when you and the new girl don’t speak the same language.

    I’ve done it several times. Big, confident, well-dressed, white American with blue eyes and strong game? A hassle, yes, but not a problem.

    That being said, I don’t think I’d like an ongoing FB who did not speak any languages I speak. Quick travel-flings are okay though.

  46. Pink Firefly and I are spending a week in Gold Coast in February to evaluate as another possible place to live. If it’s very humid there, and yeah it might be, that will be a real disappointment.

    Gold Coast is not humid all the time like Carins can be (can be similar to SEA).

    BUT, during summer the Gold Coast and Brisbane get massive storms that roll in usually in the afternoons, with lots of rain in short periods (2hrs or so) and often hail. During the build up before these storms (sometimes for days) you can get heat and humidity that would give Thailand a run for its money.

    The good thing is its not all the time.

    Feb not the best time to visit because of the above. Winter and either side of winter is the best time. Warm during the day, cool but not cold at night. Crystal blue sky’s for days sometimes weeks on end with no rain.

  47. BUT, during summer the Gold Coast and Brisbane get massive storms that roll in usually in the afternoons, with lots of rain in short periods (2hrs or so) and often hail. During the build up before these storms (sometimes for days) you can get heat and humidity that would give Thailand a run for its money.

    That sounds okay.

    Feb not the best time to visit because of the above.

    We have to visit in Feb, because if we choose to live there, we’ll be there September – March every year.

    If we like it we’ll probably spend the entire month of November next year there as a 2nd test.

  48. Since BD is seriously thinking about living in Oz, here’s a little reminder that it’s not exactly respectful of its citizens’ privacy: https://www.facebook.com/thejuicemedia/videos/500890246988784/

    The ‘ASS Access’ law has just been passed. (Yes, I know BD doesn’t give a flying fuck about society, but it’s a pretty amusing video.)

  49. Caleb, if you want to see a city with interesting archtecture Google monterrey, its pretty much the industrial capital of mexico.

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