On a semi-regular basis, I get asked questions like,

How much money do you make?

What is your net worth?

How many girls have you had sex with?

What exactly are your investments and how are you allocated?

And so on.

I always respond with my standard answer, that I don’t give personal financial information over the internet to millions of strangers. (And that “millions” figure is literal, since millions of people have read my blogs.) However, I’ve never explained this position fully and I think it’s fair that I do so.

Why I Don’t Talk About Specific Financial Numbers

I’ve stated generalities about how much money I make, since I think it’s important that you should know, at least in general, how much someone is making if he’s giving you business advice. I think that’s not only required, but fair. I’ve said I make a strong six-figure, location-independent income, and I do. At my other blog I’ve talked about some of the various investments I have and have had in the past. I give more details about these things for the men in the SMIC program.

But in terms of giving you specific numbers or specific investments/allocations from my financial or business life, I don’t do that because it would create the following problems:

1. It could potentially cause some security issues with my finances. You probably don’t realize this, but about 2% of any audience is comprised of mentally unstable psychos. (Just trust me on this; you don’t see the emails and comments from these crazies that are filtered and/or that never see the light of day. I don’t see most of them either, but occasionally I do when I’m running maintenance procedures and so on.)

That means that if I tell you exactly where I bank, where I invest, how I’m invested, etc, even if 99.9% of the audience does nothing evil with that information, it only takes one or two wackjobs to potentially cause problems for me. I don’t like problems, so I refrain from doing this.

And before you say it, no, this is not a violation of the 2% rule. The odds are indeed above 2% that if I constantly relayed this information, at least one person in my large audience would at least attempt something unethical that might cause me at least a minor headache or inconvenience.

2. It would create very stupid, very off-topic arguments and complaints from both haters and nitpickers that I’m not interested in having. If I told you, right now, exactly how much money I make per year, a very small-but-vocal percentage of the audience would absolutely lose their minds. Their reactions would range from accusations of me lying, to demands of me to “prove it,” to pelting me with questions about specifying which businesses / products / services make what, and so on.

This crap would waste my time, take my time away from other important projects, dilute my messaging, and perhaps even damage my branding, even if it garnered me some new traffic. It would be a no-win scenario for me. So I refrain from doing it.

3. It would damage my ability to help people. I would start quoting all of these gigantic numbers, and a big percentage of my audience would start to tune out. They wouldn’t be able to relate. They wouldn’t think they could do it. This is despite the fact that I only say you need to make $75,000 per year, not bazillions of dollars.

If you want more detail about this dynamic, watch this quick video from Pat Flynn where he describes this exact problem he had with his audience. He used to show exactly how much he made from his blogs and websites every month, down to the detail, but once the numbers starting getting “too high” (six figures per month) his audience started to tune out, so he stopped reporting his income.

4. “But Caleb, some other bloggers talk about what they make!” Yes, some do, but as you can see, Pat just stopped. A few other guys like John Lee Dumas still do but who knows how long he will keep it up.

But that’s not even the issue. The difference is these guys aren’t talking about anything controversial. I love these guys but they talk about safe, generic topics like how to make more money, how to find your passion, blah blah blah. They aren’t in-your-face assholes like me saying the controversial, politically incorrect, scary, “insulting,” and “offensive” stuff I talk about on my blogs every day.

In this current anti-free-speech internet and political climate, I would be far more exposed if I talked about these numbers than if some “safe” guy was doing so. When you compare me to friendly, socially acceptable, politically correct beta male bloggers, you’re not comparing apples to apples.

And speaking of one of those controversial, politically incorrect topics…

Why I Don’t Talk About Exactly How Many Women I’ve Slept With

I’ve given numbers in the past regarding certain online blitzes I’ve done, relationships I’ve had, and so on. I’ve actually given a huge amount of data from my personal sex life over the past 10 years. But I’ve never said my “big number.” And I never will. Here’s why:

1. Again, I would have to devote a decent amount of my time to haters and nitpickers freaking out about whatever numbers I revealed, and I don’t want to pull time away from my already-full schedule to do this. I know my audience and the PUA / red pill / manosphere audience very well; I know exactly what would happen if I started talking about this number.

On one side, I’d get the guys who would accuse me of lying by making the number larger than it actually was. Some of these guys would be random haters, or guys who have never liked me, but others would be nitpickers (who are actually fans) who would demand specific numeric breakdowns of when / where these numbers occurred, then get upset and perhaps even imply I was lying when I would refuse to provide that detail (which I would, since again, I don’t want to take the time).

One the other side, I’d get some MGTOW types accusing me of lying and making this number too low, because I was “trying to distance myself from pick-up artists” or trying not to offend women in my other business ventures. Or something.

I would have to take the time out of my schedule to screw around with idiots on both sides. I’d rather not do this.

2. The number changes over time, and that would not be reflected. If I gave you that number, that would be the number as of today. Next year, two years from now, or whenever, that number would change in that it would grow. It wouldn’t grow a lot, since these days I really don’t need to add large numbers of women to my roster because it’s already large enough in that I don’t need to, but it would increase.

I’d have guys ten years from now still bitching about whatever number I gave today. How do I know this? There are, in all seriousness, a handful of guys who are still angry at me about things I said on a long-dead forum back in 2009, which, if you do the math, was 9-10 years ago. I don’t even remember what I said that long ago, but these guys are still furious about it whenever my name comes up. (These men are ideal examples of long-term unhappiness, the opposite of what I talk about, since I can’t imagine holding anger or a grudge for that long, and regarding something that trivial.)

There would be dudes in 2029 still bitching about numbers I gave today. Sad but true. I prefer not to spend the time answering emails from my audience for the next 10 years saying, “Hey BD this guy is bashing you on this website about the number of women you said you fucked…”

3. My number is significant. I didn’t even know what it was when I wrote this article; I had to go look it up in one of my spreadsheets. Regardless, it’s not at the level of a few hardcore, night game, Thrill of the Hunt pick-up artists who focus on one night stands and similar. I don’t teach one night stands, nor do I teach having to fuck a lot of women. I teach having multiple, long-term, low-drama relationships with a roster or harem of women. Once you achieve this, you don’t have to go out and hunt anymore unless you want to.

So as big as my number is, it really isn’t relevant to what I teach. As a matter of fact, the high number could actually damage my ability to teach this stuff to men, just like with the high financial numbers I referenced above. (“OMG BD! You mean to be Alpha 2.0 I have to fuck that many girls????” No, you don’t.)

The only relevance is that it’s a large number (at least I’m impressed). Beyond that, it doesn’t really matter.

To Give You An Idea…

Alright, that all being said, I’ll give you an idea regarding these numbers. I suppose I owe you that much.

My annual income is many multiples of the Alpha Male 2.0 minimum of $75,000.

My net worth is strong, but it’s below the $10 million mark where I consider a man “rich.” It’s also a little below where I think I should be at my age with my successful financial history, but that’s purely an opinion.

The number of women I’ve had sex with is… hm… how can I say this? Alright, it’s way higher than 60. That’s all I’ll say. The rest I’ll leave to your imagination.

For those of you who are semi-public figures (or aspire to be), I would recommend you take the same approach I have. Give your audience the relevant numbers to prove your authority regarding the topics you’re discussing, but keep the “big specifics” to yourself. I’ve just listed the numerous reasons why giving out these specifics is a no-win scenario for you.

69 Comments on “Why I Don’t Talk About Personal Financial or Dating Numbers

  1. A lot of the paradigm you lay out resonates with me in terms of leading a low-drama, multiple relationship, financially strong life. I’d rather do that than be a MM style PUA, having an erratic life centres around night game. However, is it necessary to go through an Alpha of 1.0 phase in relationships before becoming an Alpha 2.0?

  2. This blog is not about money, this blog is not even about women.

    This blog is about long term happiness, and the numbers of the amount of money and girls that I have, that provide me security and happiness, probably differs from the other guys.

    This makes me remember my early PUA days, I would hang out with some random guys, and the night, instead of helping each other meeting new women was more about dick measurements of who got more girls. Most guys lied in their numbers because they didn’t want to be perceived as beta’s

  3. is it necessary to go through an Alpha of 1.0 phase in relationships before becoming an Alpha 2.0?

    No, but you’ll automatically start out as an Alpha 1.0 or beta male (whether you like it or not) before consciously moving to Alpha 2.0. No one is born a 2.0 (at least not that I’ve ever seen).

    This blog is about long term happiness, and the numbers of the amount of money and girls that I have, that provide me security and happiness, probably differs from the other guys.

    Exactly.

    This makes me remember my early PUA days, I would hang out with some random guys, and the night, instead of helping each other meeting new women was more about dick measurements of who got more girls. Most guys lied in their numbers because they didn’t want to be perceived as beta’s

    Yeah but that’s more of a young guy thing. (A bunch of guys in their 40s wouldn’t be talking about teenager-level shit like that.)

  4. I’m sure this article’s purpose is to comment it when someone asks your personal details.  I know I recently commented on a different post when someone was challenging your financials and I did say I would love to know how much you made with the recent financial course, but I knew you wouldn’t actually state it for many of the reasons you listed in this post.  Knowing those kinds of details would be helpful, but also not a good idea for you.  Makes sense.

  5. At the end of the day, this is just smart business and wise living.

    Guys don’t like to admit it but they have fragile egos. They can be as insecure and immature as women, when it comes to the subject of getting paid and getting laid.

    Their envy and jealousy overrides all reason and logic. So discretion is always better than disclosure.

    BTW, congrats on the new design at CJ…looks really good.

  6. Yeah, all these arguments make perfect sense.

    But I would be lying if I said I did not want to know your n-count. But it is more because I am curious about this number for a guy who has been having open relationships for a long time, like me. I know absolutely no one in real life like that, it’s a bit lonely lol.

    The few times I shared my number (well in the 3-digits range) to friends, the disconnect was obvious, and most had some kind of negative reaction to it. Funnily, I have also shared it to some of my most sexually open-minded FBs in the past, and they all have reacted as if it were super normal, and each told me that if they were a guy like me they would have the same numbers!

  7. But I would be lying if I said I did not want to know your n-count. But it is more because I am curious about this number for a guy who has been having open relationships for a long time, like me. I know absolutely no one in real life like that, it’s a bit lonely lol.

    If you want to state your number, I can tell you if I’m above it, below it, or approximately in the same zone.

    The few times I shared my number (well in the 3-digits range) to friends, the disconnect was obvious, and most had some kind of negative reaction to it. Funnily, I have also shared it to some of my most sexually open-minded FBs in the past, and they all have reacted as if it were super normal, and each told me that if they were a guy like me they would have the same numbers!

    Most men have no fucking idea regarding the high amount of men women fuck from age 15 to age 33 when their ASD starts to spike. Women also grossly under-report this number whenever asked, both socially and in surveys. “Well, I was drunk, so he didn’t count. And that other guy was an asshole, so he doesn’t count either. And that other guy doesn’t count either because…”

  8. I just went over 200 this weekend. The big majority of them were met through online dating, that is also why I am interested in your situation, given that we use the same kind of game.

  9. I just went over 200 this weekend.

    You’re well past me.

    The big majority of them were met through online dating, that is also why I am interested in your situation, given that we use the same kind of game.

    If I kept my my same level of activity in terms of new women during the years of 2009-2011 or so (plus maybe 2014 which was kind of crazy too) for the past 10 years or so, then I would be at around (or above) your number. I just consider going out and getting new women as “work” and a necessary evil rather than something fun or enjoyable to do. (I’m a Pleasure of Sex guy).

    If you’re at 200, then I have a strong feeling you feel differently about this, and find it exciting or fun to fuck new women. This would be the difference between us, regardless of online dating or open relationships.

  10. It’s also relative.

    A guy who pays for all kinds of events, drugs, and tolerates ridiculous drama into their life isn’t on our level even if he fucks new chicks often. Common Situation when dudes wanna show like their fucking hot chicks on Social Media but not showing the behind the scenes reality. 

    A guy who works 6/7  12 Hour Shifts and his wife spends all that money and he gets gas money and enough to eat 3 meals a days isn’t a badass if he’s making $150,000.00 a year. Especially if he has high overhead costs and massive debt. This is a common situation in So Cal.

    Now take the another guy who works 20 -30 hours a week, $100,000.00 a year, with regular FBs, MTLR’s or possibly an OLTR, with a very low overhead.. say a nice hybrid and a 3 bedroom house in a decent part of So Cal not far from LA/OC with access to hot chicks of all races and body types. If a chick gives him drama she is dismissed for the day or given a hard next if she really wants to pop off. This guy is living better than the above 2 guys (even if he fucks less women or makes less money due to his Freedom). 

    These are obviously gross exaggerations, but I think y’all get the point.

  11. You’re well past me.

    I think, 100 is a magic number. The rest is an icing on a cake.

    Funny thing, this type of questions is how I got a ban on Roosh’s forum. I was dropping an intel on a South East Asian town I frequented and, somehow, it turned into “how many swimsuit models did you fuck there” conversation. As soon as I said it’s none of their business, I got banned. Gosh that place was pathetic.

     

  12. Solid points Blackdragon.

    We live in an information age, one where many people now feel entitled to know everything about everyone all the time.  If they can’t Google the information, they’ll just ask you point-blank.  Any boundaries of privacy and propriety have long since evaporated. And, if you’re hesitant to give information freely when asked, you’re indicted with the charge of, “You must be hiding something.”

    I think it’s a societal shit-test to ask such questions. Sure, some people want to know, but some are more looking to see your reaction or if you’ll comply rather than refuse.  Ask them for the same information and see how willing most people are to share the same information they demand from you.

    In the end, it’s none of their business. And if necessary, I just tell people to  sod off.

     

  13. Most men have no fucking idea regarding the high amount of men women fuck from age 15 to age 33 when their ASD starts to spike. Women also grossly under-report this number whenever asked, both socially and in surveys. “Well, I was drunk, so he didn’t count. And that other guy was an asshole, so he doesn’t count either. And that other guy doesn’t count either because…”

    something to keep in mind if a girl wants to shun my behavior or is saying one thing about their past life but their actions/personality tell me something different.

  14. You say that you don’t tell how much you earn to your audience. What about parents, friends, MLTR and OLTR? Do you have any rules for talking about your income with your close social circle?

  15. Can you share your online dating stats and lay ratios? I remember long ago you listed your exact stats from one of your blitzes and it helped me to know what to aim for.

    Like, for online dating, what was your opener/response/date scheduled/date happened rate? In my case, I meet one woman for every 40 openers I send out.

    What’s your first date to second date ratio? Or first date to sex ratio? Or sex to lock-in ratio? I went on 13 first dates in the past few months, had sex with 3 of the of them, but never achieved lock-in. Would be helpful to see which of my stats are above or below average.

    I think the issue with sharing your numbers is that you’d have to clearly convey that everyone’s performance will land somewhere on the bell curve and that it’s not so black and white. New readers and beginners are probably in the bottom 20%, laying less than 1 in 10 first dates, but with enough practice after about a year, they can enter the top 40% who lay 3 in 10, or the top 20% lay 5-6 in 10, the top 1% lay 9 out of 10, etc. (I made those numbers up but you get the point)

  16. What about parents, friends, MLTR and OLTR? Do you have any rules for talking about your income with your close social circle?

    No one knows what my exact net worth is except for me and one of my attorneys. The only two people who know exactly how much I make are Pink Firefly and my dad. Even in PF’s case it took her about three years into the relationship and well past our engagement for her to get the courage to actually ask me how much money I made, and she asked it in context since we were already discussing it.

    It’s hard to tell how much money I make since I live so simply. (Though this has started to change in the last 2-3 years as my income has grown and as I get more comfortable with the amount of money I’m putting away on a monthly basis.)

    Everyone else knows I “make a lot” but no one knows specific numbers other than the above people.

    I don’t have any specific rules about who you tell these things to in your personal life. Make your best judgement. I just know that the less people you tell, the better, and the more money you make or are worth, the more this applies.

  17. Can you share your online dating stats and lay ratios?

    Sure. I have before.

    Like, for online dating, what was your opener/response/date scheduled/date happened rate? In my case, I meet one woman for every 40 openers I send out.

    Just off my memory (I’m not checking my spreadsheets for these numbers), speaking in general:

    Response rate (normal online dating, not sugar daddy game): low. 1-4%.

    Openers to dates actually happened rate: low and varies wildly, anywhere from 45ish to 60ish (so yours is better than mine).

    What’s your first date to second date ratio?

    Extremely high. Easily 70% most of the time. Sometimes drops down to 50% or 60% but not usually.

    Or first date to sex ratio?

    Extremely high. Anywhere from 60% to 80% depending on the blitz.

    Or sex to lock-in ratio?

    Extremely high. 76% exactly

    As you can see, my online numbers are low but my real life numbers are so fantastic that I can “afford” to have low online numbers and still get laid whenever I need.

    I think the issue with sharing your numbers is that you’d have to clearly convey that everyone’s performance will land somewhere on the bell curve and that it’s not so black and white. New readers and beginners are probably in the bottom 20%, laying less than 1 in 10 first dates, but with enough practice after about a year, they can enter the top 40% who lay 3 in 10, or the top 20% lay 5-6 in 10, the top 1% lay 9 out of 10, etc. (I made those numbers up but you get the point)

    True.

  18. There are the really valuable numbers (the conversion ratios in the above post) and there are numbers that aren’t valuable (how much you are worth, etc).

    Thanks for sharing the valuable numbers.

    Can you write a post sometime on the various dating sites, and their use?  I know you’ve wrote about it in the past, but the sites and technology doesn’t stay static.

    For example, in my area, I’m confident that I can get on Match and get laid like tile, but it seems everyone there is so steeped in SP they want to run off and get exclusive.  I make it a point to not lie to anyone so this is not the action I’m looking for.  I know that some of the free sites start working completely different if you start paying for them, and where other people really have good luck wth Tinder in big cities, my area is a dud for someone my age.

  19. Most men have no fucking idea regarding the high amount of men women fuck from age 15 to age 33 when their ASD starts to spike.

    I’ve always assumed that 50 was a low number for that demographic, even 20 years ago when none of this stuff was relevant to every day life. Never really cared as much as the common incel or even beta would.

    Funny thing, this type of questions is how I got a ban on Roosh’s forum. I was dropping an intel on a South East Asian town I frequented and, somehow, it turned into “how many swimsuit models did you fuck there” conversation. As soon as I said it’s none of their business, I got banned. Gosh that place was pathetic.

    Roosh’s boards have always been full of salty incels who were mad at the world. If it wasn’t that, it was mostly made up of Matt Forney nuthuggers who legit believed there is no such thing as rape and sexual assault.

    And Roosh himself was exposed a few years ago for scamming people who bought his stuff then using the money to be a sugar daddy to poor chicks in third world countries. RSD began doing similar too.

    JMULV, Sonny Arvado, and Squattin Casanova are pretty much the only dudes I trust with chick advice, other than BD of course. JMULV has been stupid enough to disclose how many chicks he had sex with, don’t know why he did that.

  20. Black Dragon:  How do you track all of your dating numbers?  Do you have to manually enter everything into a spreadsheet? I’m dabbling around with python.  I’m licking my chops for when I get good enough to automate both parts of online blitz’s and online data collection/stats.

  21. If I kept my my same level of activity in terms of new women during the years of 2009-2011 or so (plus maybe 2014 which was kind of crazy too) for the past 10 years or so, then I would be at around (or above) your number. I just consider going out and getting new women as “work” and a necessary evil rather than something fun or enjoyable to do. (I’m a Pleasure of Sex guy).
    If you’re at 200, then I have a strong feeling you feel differently about this, and find it exciting or fun to fuck new women. This would be the difference between us, regardless of online dating or open relationships.

    Yup, exactly. I don’t play video games, watch series, go out to eat at restaurants etc. Instead I like meeting and fucking new girls, this is one of my main hobbies. I would say that I am currently 70% ToTH / 30% PoS. It used to be more tilted towards Thrill of The Hunt, but the last few years I’ve been consciously trying to rewire my brain, because as you also said somewhere else, I think that being hardcore ToTH is not conducive to long-term happiness.

    It’s funny how spot-on you are regarding my situation in your various articles lol.

  22. It’s hard to tell how much money I make since I live so simply. (Though this has started to change in the last 2-3 years as my income has grown and as I get more comfortable with the amount of money I’m putting away on a monthly basis.)

    BD, I would be interested in knowing what percentage of your income you spend / save / invest as your income increases.

    I have lived a frugal life since my early 20’s (now in my mid 50s). As you can imagine many of these frugality habits are so well ingrained and hard to break. For example I still drive a 10 year old car (even though I could afford any car I wanted). I prefer to cycle wherever I can, as I prefer beast thighs and polished arteries to diabetes and heart problems.

    If I’m being honest I don’t get much pleasure from flashy spending instead preferring good quality and minimalism (you can check out The Millionaire Next Door to give an idea of my mindset).

    I am aware that I have limited time on this planet and perhaps should loosen the purse strings a bit more. I have increased my generosity to family members etc over the past few years but all they do is moan to me about how I can’t take it with me etc.

    I realise that this is a great position to be in and I’m in no way trivialising this, but I’m genuinely interested on your take on this.

     

  23. 1)Bd ,from 20 dates what percentage of women you fuck in 3 dates or less,based on your system ,including the women who ONS you?

    2)Do you think that percentage could be higher for PU artists who calibrate more on dates,or that percentage is like a ceiling for everyone ,if you are not a celebrity?
    3)Could you make that percentage higher,or is beyond your control?
    4)Also if the best daygame pua,fucks 7% of the girls from hb8 to hb10 from cold approach,do you think that seduction will advance and that percentage will get higher or its impossible to raise that percentage from a certain point?

  24. Can you write a post sometime on the various dating sites, and their use?  I know you’ve wrote about it in the past, but the sites and technology doesn’t stay static.

    I already did recently in this book and in this article. Nothing radical has changed since then.

    BD, I would be interested in knowing what percentage of your income you spend / save / invest as your income increases.

    I generally save 40% of my income, but that exact figure varies a little based on the month and quarter.

    I realise that this is a great position to be in and I’m in no way trivialising this, but I’m genuinely interested on your take on this.

    No, it’s a very good question. I too am very frugal; not quite minimalist but very close. Much of this is from my negative programming growing up in a very financially strapped family. In the last, oh, 3 or 4 years(?) I have started to lighten up on this, but this is only because my income has really skyrocketed over the last several years (and my investments have done well).

    As I stated above, if I’m still able to put away shitloads of money every month into my investments, I am “comfortable” spending more money than before. I just closed a deal on a new house for me and PF (a rental of course, just for 2 years) and it’s quite nice; much more of a house than I would ever have considered 3-5 years ago. But I can afford it easily without damaging my savings goals, so no big deal.

    So my short answer/opinion is, keep saving shitloads of money, but make more money so you can also have fun with your money.

    This is a core topic to Alpha Male 2.0 so I have a lot more to say about this… later.

  25. 1)Bd ,from 20 dates what percentage of women you fuck in 3 dates or less,based on your system ,including the women who ONS you?

    I already answered that above. Anywhere from 60-80%. So I would fuck 12-16 of them, BUT, I never want nor need to fuck that many women. I usually just want 1 or 2 new women to add to the rotation, so I would never go on 20 first dates.

    To be clear, that’s these days. Back when my numbers were lower and I did want to fuck more girls, I obviously went on many more than 20 dates.

    2)Do you think that percentage could be higher for PU artists who calibrate more on dates,or that percentage is like a ceiling for everyone ,if you are not a celebrity?

    I’m sure it’s not a ceiling since if I had a ten face and ten body I’m sure I could pull more. It probably is a ceiling for men who look just like me and are my age.

    3)Could you make that percentage higher,or is beyond your control?

    I really doubt it, without radical changes to my appearance. But it’s possible.

    4)Also if the best daygame pua,fucks 7% of the girls from hb8 to hb10 from cold approach,do you think that seduction will advance and that percentage will get higher or its impossible to raise that percentage from a certain point?

    I have no idea. I’m certain there is a nominal ceiling somewhere based on your appearance.

  26. Black Dragon:  How do you track all of your dating numbers?  Do you have to manually enter everything into a spreadsheet?

    Yes. Keep this shit simple. Once the spreadsheet is set up, it only takes seconds, literally, to plug in a number or two.

    I’m dabbling around with python.  I’m licking my chops for when I get good enough to automate both parts of online blitz’s and online data collection/stats.

    No. Don’t. Just use a spreadsheet.

    You should be out having sex with hot chicks, not writing software.

  27. I’ve always assumed that 50 was a lownumber for that demographic, even 20 years ago when none of this stuff was relevant to every day life. Never really cared as much as the common incel or even beta would.

     

    Why? Sure, it’s possible that all women are lying A LOT…but I doubt it. Only 10% of women and 21% of men even have 15+ sexual partners in their lifetimes. The median lifetime count for women is ~4. And only 2% of women have had five or more partners in the last year. And nowadays, “sexual partner” includes any sexual contact, vaginal, anal, or oral.

    https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm

    And then there’s the data suggesting millennial women are having less sex with fewer partners than previous generations. According to that data, present rates of sluttiness for men and women were reached in the 1950’s and then more or less leveled off.

    https://ifstudies.org/blog/nine-decades-of-promiscuity

    You guys could be self-selecting a group that is just more promiscuous than average.

    Roosh’s boards have always been full of salty incels who were mad at the world

    Why do you call every guy who’s pissed off about some issue related to dating and sex an incel? That’s not what the word means. You come off like a feminist shaming ‘angry virgins,’ or whatever.

     

  28. Why do you call every guy who’s pissed off about some issue related to dating and sex an incel? That’s not what the word means. You come off like a feminist shaming ‘angry virgins,’ or whatever.

    He’s always been like that. Angry altrighters are incels, homophobes are closet homos, etc. I don’t think he really believes it either, he just seems to have a thing for being provocative and you won’t get much out of him when you actually call him out with logic.

  29. How do you track all of your dating numbers?

    Since dating is like sales, any off the shelf CRM is a good solution to keep track on leads and “customers”, save all the communications, keep calendar, etc.

  30. I just closed a deal on a new house for me and PF (a rental of course, just for 2 years)

    So you didn’t buy?  If that’s the case that’s brilliant.  I had a buddy who thought he’d be smooth and not put his wife’s name on the title when he bought anew one during the marriage.  Didn’t matter, she just had it added thru the divorce due to the laws here in Michigan and is living in it while he sleeps on his mom’s couch.  I don’t think even a prenup would save you from that.

  31. ” It’s hard to tell how much money I make since I live so simply. (Though this has started to change in the last 2-3 years as my income has grown and as I get more comfortable with the amount of money I’m putting away on a monthly basis.) .  ”   

     

    ^

    Minimalism is the way to go. For me any money spent on luxury items is ridiculous since that money could have been spent on travel instead.

    The best penthouses and ferraris in the world are not more enjoyable than traveling to a different city and country for new experiences.

  32. I’m dabbling around with python.  I’m licking my chops for when I get good enough to automate both parts of online blitz’s and online data collection/stats.

    I’m a professional software developer and copy-paste works good enough for me. When the site lets you categorize messages into folders or otherwise see at a glance the threads where you got a meaningful response, even the spreadsheet isn’t essential.

    You could perhaps implement automated A/B testing for photos or openers, but that isn’t all that important because the thing that matters is converting first dates to sex. Still if you’re only learning the ropes, creating an app like that is as valid an exercise as any (in automating an uncooperative service).

  33. So you didn’t buy?

    Of course not. This is the top of the market. I sold my house, got a full-price offer in less than 48 hours, made a nice profit. The house was already paid for so all of that money is going straight into my investments (possibly some rental real estate elsewhere but I haven’t made that decision yet).

    Now I’ll rent for exactly two years, and then January 1st, 2021, I’m finally getting the fuck out of the USA and dropping my total taxes to 4% or less.

    If that’s the case that’s brilliant.

    I’m good with money.

    I had a buddy who thought he’d be smooth and not put his wife’s name on the title when he bought anew one during the marriage.  Didn’t matter, she just had it added thru the divorce due to the laws here in Michigan and is living in it while he sleeps on his mom’s couch.  I don’t think even a prenup would save you from that.

    It can but it depends on many factors, namely the state you get married in and how you word and structure the prenup.

    I’m renting the house, and the lease is only in my name. PF is on the lease as “living there” but she is not financially responsible for the lease, nor do I want her to be. I also know all the co-habitation laws in my city as well as any lawyer here does, just in case there’s a problem.

    I take my own advice.

  34. hi bd,

    i’ve gone out with 36 different girls from online dating alone this year but had only ONE(1) lay i have logistics issue please make a specific article regarding LOGISTICS how to pull girls assuming if a guy’s broke/living with parents.

    Should i totally leave dating and focus on my job for a year, at least? b/c i knew i’m capable scheduling three(3) different girls for the SAME day which was pretty insane for my level. the lay-ratio has been bad for me.

  35. Man how and why does your father know about your income?

     

    Also you said to state a number to see if you’re above that or below or around that.

     

    I would ask

    Women : 100

    Income : 250000$ yearly

  36. I was going to ask same question as above BD. Is your father knowing your income necessary in any practical way?

    Also when immediate family asks what you do? What’s your response?

  37. please make a specific article regarding LOGISTICS how to pull girls assuming if a guy’s broke/living with parents.

    Okay.

    Should i totally leave dating and focus on my job for a year, at least?

    It’s certainly a valid option, but it’s hard for me to recommend men have literally no sex for an entire year.

    Man how and why does your father know about your income?

    I told him once over lunch while we were discussing finances. He’s a sweet old man and we have a great relationship. No other reason. That was a while ago though (I make more now.)

    Also you said to state a number to see if you’re above that or below or around that.

    I said that one particular guy could do that. I didn’t ask for hordes of guys to start throwing numbers at me in this thread to play guessing games.

    Is your father knowing your income necessary in any practical way?

    No.

    Also when immediate family asks what you do? What’s your response?

    I just smile and say something sarcastic or funny, like “What do you think?”

    It’s extremely rare for someone in my family ask questions like that, but I realize other guys may have more nosy families.

  38. Should i totally leave dating and focus on my job for a year, at least?

    Depends on your age and or why.  Could be wrong but sounds like a money thing.  That’s a problem for 2 reasons.  A) you’re blowing money on dating while living with your parents B) It makes you look unstable financially.  If the women already know this when they go out with you then might be just one of your problems. I say one because I have had multiple friends living with their parents for various reasons get laid while online dating and it’s pretty common now. guys from 30 up to 40’s.

    As far as logistics…  I have a kid full time so logistics is a huge problem for me.  I just fuck them in the back of their SUV, their place, or a hotel.  It’s literally never been a problem.  You get a woman horny enough she’ll fuck you pretty much anywhere and I don’t care how straight laced or pure you think she is.

  39. I had a buddy who thought he’d be smooth and not put his wife’s name on the title when he bought anew one during the marriage.

    If you buy a place, it generally becomes part of the “marital estate” that will be divided equally during the divorce regardless of whose name is on the title or mortgage (and if you made 100% of the mortgage payments, it is still 50% hers, so that is a sweet investment from her point of view and a giant dick sandwich from yours).

  40. If you buy a place, it generally becomes part of the “marital estate”

    Personally, I’ve been thru a divorce lately.  I was able to get her to sign off so I stayed and now have equity.  Also was able to get her to sign off on my pension, pay very little alimony (offered more but she fucked that up), and no child support but that’s unusual.  Most guys get fucked.  I planned and waited for the right time to file.  I was curious how BD was going to handle that.  Even a prenup won’t always protect you.

  41. Even a prenup won’t always protect you.

    That’s why I differentiate “prenups” from “enforceable prenups” which are very different. Prenups are often completely worthless. I’d roughly guess that at least 40% of men who have prenups are just as exposed as if they had no prenup at all.

    But enforceable prenups can and will protect you unless you do something very stupid.

    The problem is A) enforceable prenups are not available in most Western jurisdictions and B) they require more time and money to create and maintain.

    Regardless, if you do a prenup and it doesn’t protect you when you get divorced, the odds are 90%+ it’s because you fucked up when you designed the prenup in the first place. You could have prevented it but didn’t.

    (As always, the best play for most men is to just not get legally married. Just move in with her and write up a co-hab agreement and leave it at that.)

  42. Been waiting for a post like this. BD essentially gave away his info in so many words. Way more than 6o lays and someone at two hundred is well past him. 200 minus seventy is 130. 60 plus 70 is 130.

    So taking that info account he would be more than likely be somewhere between 100-150+-, which is relatively modest for a man his age, but really good for being a late bloomer and a pleasure of sex guy. Any guy with average to decent game at his age would have banged 10-20 girls a year times, assuming he started at 15yo. 30 years equals 300 to 600 lays.

    WRT his finances, he said somewhere he is well above 150k per year so I’m guessing he’s probably somewhere around 250 to 350k per year. His net worth is probably around 3-5 million, especially now since he sold his house.

    I think it’s okay to tell your dad about your money, but see very little value in telling PF. Not that I would be paranoid that she could screw you over. It would be because I wouldn’t want her to potentially feel resentful that she a) she would never get access to it later and b) her current lifestyle would never improve to the level of money you have. Some women would feel “ripped off.”

    I could see how this would mean less than keeping the present harmony of the relationship, which would end up being kind of awkward to not let her know. Although, it could have been easily brushed off by saying “alot” and leave it that. Game definitely recognized by her not having the courage to ask you until after three years. Most women would have asked way before that.

    Also, when you say that it was not not a buyer’s market on this occasion, does that mean that you would buy a house in the future? It seems like renting indefinitely is the way to go.

  43. Regardless, if you do a prenup and it doesn’t protect you when you get divorced, the odds are 90%+ it’s because youfucked up when you designed the prenup in the first place. You could have prevented it but didn’t.

    Or  you have kids…   We all know that “Best interest of the kids” trumps everything.  States don’t give a fuck about anything other than not having to financially support your kid for you.  Everything is decided based upon that principle.  The biggest fight in a divorce, for the average Joe, is who gets the kids.  That’s why divorces take a min of 6 months when kids are involved.  Who gets the kids gets the money.  Of course you’re moving out of country and I doubt you ever do something stupid like have more kids…  need to get that snip snip ; )

  44. It would be because I wouldn’t want her to potentially feel resentful that she a) she would never get access to it later and b) her current lifestyle would never improve to the level of money you have. Some women would feel “ripped off.”

    1) For a prenup to be enforceable, a common requirement is full disclosure of parties’ financial positions.

    2) Those who would feel ripped off by a wealthy man not giving them half of his wealth don’t make good wives of wealthy men anyway.

  45. Anon:

    I’m a professional software developer and copy-paste works good enough for me. When the site lets you categorize messages into folders or otherwise see at a glance the threads where you got a meaningful response, even the spreadsheet isn’t essential.

    I agree that copy/paste is “good enough”.  However I’d like to get to better than ‘good enough’.  The idea is to make a moderate investment in time and effort up front.  To then save a lot of time down the road.  I’d like to eventually:

    1.) Automate openers to women that meet my parameters.

    2.) Feed the responses into a chatbot that’s ‘good enough’ to carry a conversation of an interested woman for 2 or 3 replies.  Hopefully I can craft a profile/persona that conveys that I have a ‘quarky sense of humor’ or english isn’t my first language so that they’re more forgiving of the chat bots mistakes.

    3.) Send an automated closing message.

    4.) Export the phone number, name, pictures, and a link to the chatlog to a spreadsheet.

    I go for same night lays which I try to convert to fuck buddies.  I already have a 33% first date bang closing rate.  I think that’s pretty good.  Where I spend most of my time and effort is drumming up leads. If I can automate that part I’ll see significant gains in productivity.  Which I can either put towards other things, or use to increase quality/novelty factor of the women I lay.  Being able to easily do statistical analysis on my performance to improve future processes would be nice as well.

    <blockquote>You could perhaps implement automated A/B testing for photos or openers, but that isn’t all that important because the thing that matters is converting first dates to sex. Still if you’re only learning the ropes, creating an app like that is as valid an exercise as any (in automating an uncooperative service).</blockquote>

  46. Great post BD

    clear, to the point and reminding guys to stay on point and not to be distracted by the trivial

    would you make a post about being rich at different income levels?

    the how and what of differences between 75 k a year versus 2 million versus 10 million

    I bet you know some 20 million guys but I have never met one

    low drama OI of course but must be different sets of challenges

    rock on!

  47. I know a couple of 20m types.  They all started with 1m and weren’t lazy, and got a little lucky on the way up avoiding bad luck when they did screw up.

  48. I am very, very rarely asked about what I earn or what I am worth. (I might add that the only people that have asked me have been Americans, when I have been in the US. Since most of those questions were from people who were working for the same company as I was at the time, the questions seemed particularly invidious, and there was no way I was going to give an answer.)

    I’m asked more often about the number of sex partners I’ve had, though to be completely fair not so often now (mid- to late 20s) as when I was 18, 19, 20. I think most guys focus less on numbers as they get older. Guys sometimes react oddly when I tell them, so more often than not now I simply deflect the question and don’t answer it, or at least not directly. However, when a FB asks me the same question (which happens from time to time), the answer I give is usually accepted without demur, even often without any particular comment. (I don’t know the exact number anyway. I’m not one for keeping spreadsheets etc, and although I thought it would be fun when I was 16, 17 to keep a tally, I didn’t do that. And although variety is important to me, it’s not as important as the sex itself, so I’m not hung up about numbers.)

    But for a young, presentable guy with reasonable game who’s single and not looking for a monogamous relationship, 10 or 20 different women a year doesn’t seem unusually excessive, especially if some of them are “on rotation”. Given that I started having sex at 15 and discovered quite quickly that fidelity/monogamy were not going to be my strong suits, people who know me can draw their own conclusions (if they even care).

  49. @john

    yes hotel is an option but what ”excuse” would u try to pull her there? i always use ”lets take a rest”/ ”lets listen to some music”, and they always unwillingly follow me there. maybe it’s huge ASD issue. But i did have experiences where there were two girls split motel fees with me just to let me fuck.

  50. But i did have experiences where there were two girls split motel fees with me just to let me fuck.

    Same. In those cases, they obviously wanted it at least as much as I did, aching for it!

  51. @roberto

    that was one of major red pill moments for me, i realized we don’t need to be their ”boyfriend” just to have an sexual access with them, these girls were happily satisfying me in public without me asking them to do so. One of the girls even handed me $50 after i helped her buying a slice of cake, i said what? She said this is the money for ”our room”. I purposely rejected her saying i’m tired that created a challenge for her.

    i remember till this day…

  52. I think it’s okay to tell your dad about your money, but see very little value in telling PF. Not that I would be paranoid that she could screw you over. It would be because I wouldn’t want her to potentially feel resentful that she a) she would never get access to it later and b) her current lifestyle would never improve to the level of money you have. Some women would feel “ripped off.”

    If she felt that way, that would be her problem, not mine. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life tipetoeing around my wife.

    Also, when you say that it was not not a buyer’s market on this occasion, does that mean that you would buy a house in the future? It seems like renting indefinitely is the way to go.

    I would, but not in my current region. Remember, I can buy real estate anywhere in the world (that’s allowed, that is).

    For my five flags plan I can’t own any property where I live, so I will indeed rent forever, but my rental real estate investments will “pay” for my rent.

    Real estate is still a good investment… just start thinking globally.

    Or  you have kids…

    No, prenups have nothing to do with child support or custody. Completely separate issue.

    would you make a post about being rich at different income levels?

    the how and what of differences between 75 k a year versus 2 million versus 10 million

    I bet you know some 20 million guys but I have never met one

    low drama OI of course but must be different sets of challenges

    Sure. At my other blog.

  53. es hotel is an option but what ”excuse” would u try to pull her there? i always use ”lets take a rest”/ ”lets listen to some music”, and they always unwillingly follow me there. maybe it’s huge ASD issue. But i did have experiences where there were two girls split motel fees with me just to let me fuck.

    30 dates..  you should have fucked a lot of those girls..  there’s homeless guys getting laid..  Anyways, If you’re going for a first date lay you usually have to pitch a change of venue during the date.. I say something like “hey I know this cool little place we should go to!  You’ll love it!” Then I get her in my car..  I’ll grab her hand and say something like “hey come on i’ll drive!”  Take her to a little bar, get some drinks.. now you’re on a second date in theory and you can’t be a pussy because you don’t have a house so now the bar and parking lot is “your place”..  sit right next to her at the bar..  as close as possible..  Flirt, smile, lean in, look for interesting tattoos to touch, jewelry and ask about it, kiss her, and eventually I make out right there at the bar.  Shit I look for a tattoo on the back of their neck and go for that fucker..  Middle of the day I don’t give a fuck who’s watching and they won’t either..  Don’t be a dick.. have to be cute, flirty, sweet, and non threatening thru this whole thing.. she has to feel safe and comfortable or she’ll get spooked.. Now dates over and she gets back in the car with you so you can take her back to her car.  At some point youre making out again..  Be a gentleman, be sweet, be cute, make sure she’s comfortable, and  let her do all the touching other than her thigh for instance..   You’ll be surprised how many women will grab you right there..  first time you’ll be like what the fuck?  “All my pathetic bets buddies said women hated dick!!”  At this point she’ll be down right then, or the next time if you play your cards right..  she’ll sit around all the next day thinking about fucking your brains out… Takes time, making mistakes and practice but that’s how I deal with not being able to get them to my house.. can’t be too eager or desperate.. act like you’ve been there before..   if a girl won’t fuck you within a date or 2 move on..  but that’s houldnt happen when you get good at it..  usually they do and I have to fight them off with a stick afterwards..

  54. @ John

    most of the time i bring these girls in shopping mall and location wise my country’s BIG pretty much have to drive to see her (i’ve travel at least 40km+ single way for one of these girls *i knew* it may scream BETA), yes bar is a good idea b/c there was one girl told me, ”i’ve to drink some beer” before she agreed going down on me inside my car i didn’t push her too much on that subject (i ghosted her after possibly 5th date with just make outs, touching inside car, NO SEX.)

    i’m not sure whether making out with a girl on the spot is a good idea b/c i been trying to hold sexual tension/try to avoid this kind of PDA in public, this is one of the rules in ”secret society”, you’re right, my car is definitely my ”motel”, i don’t have a car tinted glass (black) to avoid being seen for more so…

  55. i’m not sure whether making out with a girl on the spot is a good idea b/c i been trying to hold sexual tension/try to avoid this kind of PDA in public

    No you don’t because your scared and some guys are either so rich or good looking that thye don’t need game but that ain’t me or you.  So yeah its a It’s a huge leap and risk that quickly and women are weird these days but normal, non feminist, non prudish women love PDA.  They love the shit out of it.  If you had a place then I’d say do whatever but you don’t, so you got to pull out all the stops and break some rules.  I hit them right off the bat.  I condition them just before I see them and let it slip that I’m “affectionate” and “touchy feeling”.   I give them a fucking bear hug in the parking lot, tell them their prettier in person (even if they ain’t but they have to be fuckable or shit turns into a half hour date), grab their hand and lead them to the door like I’m in charge, and then sit right next to them at the bar, making good eye contact the whole fucking time.  I overwhelm them to the point their sitting their thinking this guys a player but I’m fucking him anyway.  basically I’m being everything their douche bag non affectionate, boring, pussy ass, coward or an ex, bf, husband isn’t or never was.  You know how many girls tell me their ex never showed them affection in public?  They love the shit out of it.  I get raped on dates.  Shit you’d fuck me too.  Its what all my buddies do that can’t take girls home due to kids or living with their parents. But she has to be receptive and you go to able to read whether she is or not. That’s something you’ll learn and I’ve misread a girl or 2. Funny thing is they still wanted to go out again anyways.

    Btw, you’re gonna be putting out a Metric shit ton of BF vibes in the process.  Just don’t fuck them more than 2 weeks or don’t make any promises of “exclusivity” or you’re..  a fucking bf.  Unless that’s what you want.  Probably wouldn’t hurt to find some low maintenance chick you can fuck a couple times a week while you work on your shit.  As long as you treat a girl decent, be kind, and make her cum on the regular she’ll drive through a snow storm to suck your dick while your parents are watching family fued in the other room.  She won’t give a fuck.  At least for awhile.  But now you know how to get laid within a week so why do you care what the fuck she does.

  56. Btw, didn’t understand the secret society thing.  If there’s things like PDA people in your country can’t legally do you have to obviously work around things.

  57. @John this kind of intel you posted is the reason I still read comment here. Cheers, mate.

    I think secret society was a reference to an old RSD Tyler forum post on mASF or something.

  58. Anon:

    I accidentally posted too soon.  Anyway I’m trying to learn python.  So I’d like to create an automatic dating website lead generator as a project to help me learn.  Hopefully it will provide dividends in the future as far as time and effort as well.  I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t trying to learn how to code in the first place.

    Do you think I’ve overestimated that increased productivity I’d gain by doing something like that?

  59. So taking that info account he would be more than likely be somewhere between 100-150+-, which is relatively modest for a man his age

    It’s only “relatively modest” in internet land where a 7 inch cock, 130 IQ, 200k+ income, etc. are “relatively modest.” In most sex surveys >~100 partners = top 1% for men, and 50 partners for women is top 1%.

     

     

  60. Do you think I’ve overestimated that increased productivity I’d gain by doing something like that?

    Yes. A text document with some canned messages to copy and paste is all you need. Don’t overthink it. But don’t let this dissuade you from developing a fun little app either.

  61. Most men have no fucking idea regarding the high amount of men women fuck from age 15 to age 33 when their ASD starts to spike. Women also grossly under-report this number whenever asked, both socially and in surveys. “Well, I was drunk, so he didn’t count. And that other guy was an asshole, so he doesn’t count either. And that other guy doesn’t count either because…”

    this comment has so much wisdom and a few here picked up on some aspects.  it highlights the fact that females give themselves to the right men for their own needs and that men in her second stage must be knowledgeable about something very important.  on other forums stories are told about men reacting very negatively to a female’s “past.”  well this is really not her past just her.  the man is at the level of emotional intuition and has not brought to the surface that his psychic sense knows that she cannot be loyal to him on a sustained basis and that he really does not measure up in SMV.  what this tells a man who brings the facts to the surface and makes himself consciously aware is that he must be an Alpha, best if 2.0, so that she is living the life she really wants even if she is not consciously aware of it.  she really wants to be with the man wanted by other females but feels that this needs to be abandoned at a certain age and/or for practical reasons.

    verification of this came to me via a relatively attractive female of my age, 48, who i was not interested in but is nice enough to have an occasional conversation.  we were speaking about significant others and it came out that i have an FB and it is not exclusive.  she easily accepted and said that i had an open relationship and thought that it was totally cool.  her children were grown and emancipated so her provider hunter nature of which she was one was consigned to the dust bin of her history.

    women who are in the mode of wanting you for a provider will often react negatively to this even if they are still promiscuous since they have a different use for you.

    a lot of times it is written that the female gives this up at the age of 33, often correct, but what she is often doing is convincing herself that she wants to be seen as traditional and not promiscuous and see herself this way.  this is why over 33’s need to be intrigued to cheat on their husbands and go through all sorts of mental gymnastics to mentally segregate the fact that she is the same person in terms of promiscuity.

    so for both men and women it is a matter of self-awareness and men who live in open relationship style are actually giving her what she wants even if she cannot admit or realize it.  the reason that she does not have as many relationships outside of her primary if any is actually less opportunity and logistics.  women respond to the latter and often by projection try to impose it on their men as they unconsciously know that they respond to sexual freedom more wantonly than men.  an example is wanting to live in the suburbs with a long commute for the man to work.  these neighborhoods are like ghost towns during the day when she might be home.  yet she will vocalize that she wanted her man there to keep him from cheating, projection.

    BD would appreciate your thoughts on this as it relates to the attraction an OLTR has for her man.  although my relationship was mono, my spouse noted verbally to me that other women were charmed by me and that i would be able to play around if i wanted to.  i have a feeling that this is why things worked for so long.  and she consciously avoided desirable men as if respecting her nature saying something about her sexuality and losing control.  women know that they cannot control themselves around men that they desire.  the price is to be that man and it is best played by being non-monogamous.

  62. I’m a young guy who’s broke right now. Can I buy your business course in summer of next year for multiples of the price? Or can I get the equals amounts of help if I buy nuclear version of smic program?

  63. she easily accepted and said that i had an open relationship and thought that it was totally cool.

    That’s only because she wasn’t dating you or fucking you. If she was, as a 48 year-old woman I promise you she would have had some objections.

    BD would appreciate your thoughts on this as it relates to the attraction an OLTR has for her man.

    I don’t understand your question.

    Can I buy your business course in summer of next year for multiples of the price? Or can I get the equals amounts of help if I buy nuclear version of smic program?

    The answer to both is “probably not,” but email me for these kinds of customer service questions.

  64. I read somewhere 3% of the population experience a psychotic episode in their life.  Couple that with lawsuits, metoo, online smearing, deplatforming, and relatives begging for money, Id have zero interest in being an influencer.

  65. the man is at the level of emotional intuition and has not brought to the surface that his psychic sense knows that she cannot be loyal to him on a sustained basis and that he really does not measure up in SMV.

    I see this and I just SMDH.

    Why waste any time on the pseudoscience SMV that RM sells?  It’s probably wrong and even if it isn’t, if doesn’t matter.

    You don’t need to understand WHY women do what they do.  You need to understand WHAT they do.

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