Why I Don’t Talk About Personal Financial or Dating Numbers
On a semi-regular basis, I get asked questions like,
How much money do you make?
What is your net worth?
How many girls have you had sex with?
What exactly are your investments and how are you allocated?
And so on.
I always respond with my standard answer, that I don’t give personal financial information over the internet to millions of strangers. (And that “millions” figure is literal, since millions of people have read my blogs.) However, I’ve never explained this position fully and I think it’s fair that I do so.
Why I Don’t Talk About Specific Financial Numbers
I’ve stated generalities about how much money I make, since I think it’s important that you should know, at least in general, how much someone is making if he’s giving you business advice. I think that’s not only required, but fair. I’ve said I make a strong six-figure, location-independent income, and I do. At my other blog I’ve talked about some of the various investments I have and have had in the past. I give more details about these things for the men in the SMIC program.
But in terms of giving you specific numbers or specific investments/allocations from my financial or business life, I don’t do that because it would create the following problems:
1. It could potentially cause some security issues with my finances. You probably don’t realize this, but about 2% of any audience is comprised of mentally unstable psychos. (Just trust me on this; you don’t see the emails and comments from these crazies that are filtered and/or that never see the light of day. I don’t see most of them either, but occasionally I do when I’m running maintenance procedures and so on.)
That means that if I tell you exactly where I bank, where I invest, how I’m invested, etc, even if 99.9% of the audience does nothing evil with that information, it only takes one or two wackjobs to potentially cause problems for me. I don’t like problems, so I refrain from doing this.
And before you say it, no, this is not a violation of the 2% rule. The odds are indeed above 2% that if I constantly relayed this information, at least one person in my large audience would at least attempt something unethical that might cause me at least a minor headache or inconvenience.
2. It would create very stupid, very off-topic arguments and complaints from both haters and nitpickers that I’m not interested in having. If I told you, right now, exactly how much money I make per year, a very small-but-vocal percentage of the audience would absolutely lose their minds. Their reactions would range from accusations of me lying, to demands of me to “prove it,” to pelting me with questions about specifying which businesses / products / services make what, and so on.
This crap would waste my time, take my time away from other important projects, dilute my messaging, and perhaps even damage my branding, even if it garnered me some new traffic. It would be a no-win scenario for me. So I refrain from doing it.
3. It would damage my ability to help people. I would start quoting all of these gigantic numbers, and a big percentage of my audience would start to tune out. They wouldn’t be able to relate. They wouldn’t think they could do it. This is despite the fact that I only say you need to make $75,000 per year, not bazillions of dollars.
If you want more detail about this dynamic, watch this quick video from Pat Flynn where he describes this exact problem he had with his audience. He used to show exactly how much he made from his blogs and websites every month, down to the detail, but once the numbers starting getting “too high” (six figures per month) his audience started to tune out, so he stopped reporting his income.
4. “But Caleb, some other bloggers talk about what they make!” Yes, some do, but as you can see, Pat just stopped. A few other guys like John Lee Dumas still do but who knows how long he will keep it up.
But that’s not even the issue. The difference is these guys aren’t talking about anything controversial. I love these guys but they talk about safe, generic topics like how to make more money, how to find your passion, blah blah blah. They aren’t in-your-face assholes like me saying the controversial, politically incorrect, scary, “insulting,” and “offensive” stuff I talk about on my blogs every day.
In this current anti-free-speech internet and political climate, I would be far more exposed if I talked about these numbers than if some “safe” guy was doing so. When you compare me to friendly, socially acceptable, politically correct beta male bloggers, you’re not comparing apples to apples.
And speaking of one of those controversial, politically incorrect topics…
Why I Don’t Talk About Exactly How Many Women I’ve Slept With
I’ve given numbers in the past regarding certain online blitzes I’ve done, relationships I’ve had, and so on. I’ve actually given a huge amount of data from my personal sex life over the past 10 years. But I’ve never said my “big number.” And I never will. Here’s why:
1. Again, I would have to devote a decent amount of my time to haters and nitpickers freaking out about whatever numbers I revealed, and I don’t want to pull time away from my already-full schedule to do this. I know my audience and the PUA / red pill / manosphere audience very well; I know exactly what would happen if I started talking about this number.
On one side, I’d get the guys who would accuse me of lying by making the number larger than it actually was. Some of these guys would be random haters, or guys who have never liked me, but others would be nitpickers (who are actually fans) who would demand specific numeric breakdowns of when / where these numbers occurred, then get upset and perhaps even imply I was lying when I would refuse to provide that detail (which I would, since again, I don’t want to take the time).
One the other side, I’d get some MGTOW types accusing me of lying and making this number too low, because I was “trying to distance myself from pick-up artists” or trying not to offend women in my other business ventures. Or something.
I would have to take the time out of my schedule to screw around with idiots on both sides. I’d rather not do this.
2. The number changes over time, and that would not be reflected. If I gave you that number, that would be the number as of today. Next year, two years from now, or whenever, that number would change in that it would grow. It wouldn’t grow a lot, since these days I really don’t need to add large numbers of women to my roster because it’s already large enough in that I don’t need to, but it would increase.
I’d have guys ten years from now still bitching about whatever number I gave today. How do I know this? There are, in all seriousness, a handful of guys who are still angry at me about things I said on a long-dead forum back in 2009, which, if you do the math, was 9-10 years ago. I don’t even remember what I said that long ago, but these guys are still furious about it whenever my name comes up. (These men are ideal examples of long-term unhappiness, the opposite of what I talk about, since I can’t imagine holding anger or a grudge for that long, and regarding something that trivial.)
There would be dudes in 2029 still bitching about numbers I gave today. Sad but true. I prefer not to spend the time answering emails from my audience for the next 10 years saying, “Hey BD this guy is bashing you on this website about the number of women you said you fucked…”
3. My number is significant. I didn’t even know what it was when I wrote this article; I had to go look it up in one of my spreadsheets. Regardless, it’s not at the level of a few hardcore, night game, Thrill of the Hunt pick-up artists who focus on one night stands and similar. I don’t teach one night stands, nor do I teach having to fuck a lot of women. I teach having multiple, long-term, low-drama relationships with a roster or harem of women. Once you achieve this, you don’t have to go out and hunt anymore unless you want to.
So as big as my number is, it really isn’t relevant to what I teach. As a matter of fact, the high number could actually damage my ability to teach this stuff to men, just like with the high financial numbers I referenced above. (“OMG BD! You mean to be Alpha 2.0 I have to fuck that many girls????” No, you don’t.)
The only relevance is that it’s a large number (at least I’m impressed). Beyond that, it doesn’t really matter.
To Give You An Idea…
Alright, that all being said, I’ll give you an idea regarding these numbers. I suppose I owe you that much.
My annual income is many multiples of the Alpha Male 2.0 minimum of $75,000.
My net worth is strong, but it’s below the $10 million mark where I consider a man “rich.” It’s also a little below where I think I should be at my age with my successful financial history, but that’s purely an opinion.
The number of women I’ve had sex with is… hm… how can I say this? Alright, it’s way higher than 60. That’s all I’ll say. The rest I’ll leave to your imagination.
For those of you who are semi-public figures (or aspire to be), I would recommend you take the same approach I have. Give your audience the relevant numbers to prove your authority regarding the topics you’re discussing, but keep the “big specifics” to yourself. I’ve just listed the numerous reasons why giving out these specifics is a no-win scenario for you.
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