How To Recover From A Blow-Off After A First Date
No matter how good you get with women, a strong percentage of your first dates will end up with zero results. As I talk about in detail in Get To Sex Fast, when a woman doesn’t want to see you again after a first date, it’s for one of only three reasons:
1. She wasn’t attracted to you enough (most likely reason).
2. She was attracted to you, but her ASD was too high or you did something on the date or over texts that spiked her ASD (less likely reason, but still very possible, especially with women over age 33).
3. She was attracted to you and her ASD was low but she was scared to see you again for some reason likely outside of your control (very unlikely but can happen).
The good news is that you have a strong degree of control over item 1 and a decent amount of control for item 2, especially if you stick with women under the age of 33. Read Get To Sex Fast for exactly how to control these factors.
When a woman doesn’t want to see you again after a first date, one of two things are going to occur. The most likely scenario is that she just doesn’t respond to your texts, or does respond to your texts, but as soon as you date-pitch a second date, then she doesn’t respond and ghosts you.
Sadly, most women will do this when they don’t want to see you again. There is both Societal Programming and woman logic that says that it’s somehow less rude to just ghost a guy rather than actually tell him you don’t want to see him again. Also, women know how needy and weird most men get when they are rejected, and they’d rather not go through that crap by telling men they don’t want to see them again.
The second scenario is that she actually does say over texts, in a very polite way, that you’re a nice guy blah blah blah but that she’d rather not meet again blah blah blah. If your approach is more beta male, sometimes she may even attempt friend zone by suggesting that you “just be friends” or that you hang out again but this time with mutual friends. (Obviously you should deny these requests, since friend zone is only for beta males who don’t desire happiness.)
I’ll be honest and tell you that once a woman has made up her mind to not see you again after a first date, she’s gone. There is nothing you can do. To confirm this, I went back through my spreadsheets over the last 10 years and hundreds of first dates, and not once, and I mean this now, not once was I ever able to sleep with a woman after she made the decision to not see me again after the first date. No matter what I did, not matter who she was, nothing worked.
The slight good news is that the two key words in that above sentence is decision and first date. You can indeed still have sex with women who are on the fence about seeing you again after a first date, since these women haven’t actually made a solid decision yet.
Also, you can indeed have sex with women who don’t want to see you after the second date. I’ve been successful turning those women around many times.
So if you date-pitch a second date with a woman after the first date, if she ghosts you or clearly says she doesn’t want to see you again, you’re done, delete her from your brain forever, and move on to the next woman on the list. Getting rejected after first dates is a part of the process no matter how good you are.
However, if she responds, seems friendly, and gives you a wishy washy answer like “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” or “I want to but I’m kinda busy over the next few days because of blah blah blah,” then here’s how you respond:
1. Be nice and understanding. Statements like, “Yeah, I understand,” as beta as they sound, are helpful at this stage.
2. Press for another meet, but do so gently.
3. Very clearly state the “no pressure” vibe of the next meet. For example, “Yeah, I understand. How about this. We meet up next week just for an hour and talk at <coffee shop or bar>. That’s it. No big deal. If anything, maybe you could just end up as a cool friend.”
4. Answer any questions she throws back at you. A common one would be “What would we do?” The correct answer at this juncture is “Just talk. That’s it.” Don’t even say “hang out” (which could be construed as something like sex).
If you do all of this correctly, your odds of success are around 40%, independent of other factors. Give it a try. Just remember it won’t work on women who have made a solid decision about not seeing you again.