first date advice, first online date, online dating advice, meaning of an open relationship, alpha male traits

This is the next installment of the book I never published regarding my history with women and the lessons I learned from it. If you haven’t yet, you should read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, and twelve before you read the article below, so you can be up to speed on where the story picks up. Everything below is all 100% true to the best of my memory, journals, and spreadsheet records, though all the names of the people described have been changed.

We last left off ten years ago, in December 2008, where the chaos with my crazy 18 year-old MLTR continues…

December 2008

My insane relationship with Selina grinded onward. During this time I continued to also see Marci, who, as I have already mentioned in a prior installment, had recently returned to me. This meant I was seeing Selina as an MLTR, Marci as an FB, and then a smattering of other random women, most of whom I met through Selina, who was an extreme extrovert and had a massively large social circle.

When she wasn’t at my house, Selina would be hanging out with friends, going to parties, screwing other guys, and smoking weed. She did not have a job and did not drive. Instead, she had a beta male who had insane oneitis for her who drove her around whenever she wanted. She would call him “her bitch,” which is pretty much what he was. Several times he would drive across town from 50 minutes away to my house, pick her up, drive her 10 minutes from my house, drop her off nearby, then drive 50 minutes all the way back home.

Ah, beta males.

At some point, and I don’t remember when, I very stupidly stopped using a condom on her. She had already had a kid who was being raised elsewhere and had a Merina IUD, so I figured it was okay. She also said she wasn’t having sex with anyone else, which I either believed or wanted to believe just to stop wearing the condom. Very, very stupid on my part. This would later come back to bite me in the ass, as you’ll see in a minute.

A few key people she introduced me to during this time who would factor into these stories either now or later: A) her mom, who was just two years older than me; a physically fit and attractive extreme Dominant, B) her 16 year-old sister, who was even hotter than her, though obviously underage and off limits to me, C) one of her guy friends who I’ll call “Joe” who she said was gay (though he obviously wasn’t; I even said so at the time when she told me), D) one of her hot, blonde sister’s friends who was 19, and of course, E) Emi, who I talked about last time, though she moved to California a few weeks prior and was now out of my life.

Selina started pressuring me to let her move in with me. I knew there was no way in hell I could have someone with this insane a lifestyle live with me, no matter how much fun she was. I gently told her no.

A little later, we went to a local fashion show put on by one of my brothers. Selina had a little to drink, and on the way back home, told me she loved me for the first time. I forget what I said in response. I tried to be as nice and sweet as I could, but I didn’t say I love you back (because I didn’t love her; she was 18 years old for Christ’s sake).

When I didn’t reciprocate she started crying. I gave her a hug but that was all I could do. Later that night we had sex (a lot) and she kept screaming that she loved me. She left the next morning.

A few days later I was on MySpace (yes, this is back when MySpace was a big deal) sending out openers to new women. I hit Selina’s profile and saw that she had just changed her relationship status to “Married.”

Uh… what?

On her profile it said she had married the “gay” guy Joe.

Rolling my eyes, I sent her a text. The conversation pretty much went like this:

Me: So you’re married now?

Selina: Yep.

Me: Ok.

And that was that. Our relationship was over (or at least this phase of it). My first MLTR and my first extended relationship with a much younger woman ended when she married another guy while dating me. I just laughed. What a crazy life I was living.

A little later I would find out that Joe was in the Army and leaving for Iraq. As usual with these young military guys, he begged her to marry him so that he could get an instant raise (which is what happens in our insane military). He “loved” her and had been fucking her all along (of course) along with at least two other men I didn’t know about (of course). He promised to put her up in her own apartment and have babies with her, both of which she craved. After me not letting her move in and not reciprocating her “love,” he was an attractive choice for her, so she agreed.

Around this same time, I tested positive for Chlamydia. Fun! She had given it to me of course, and later I found out she had given it to Joe and a few other guys as well. I was a fucking idiot for having sex with someone like this without a condom, even when I knew she was not very safe, despite what she said. Well, lesson learned. I took antibiotics for a week and quickly cured it with no symptoms, and it was the last STD I would ever have. (This was ten years ago, and I’m still clean.)

Marci stopped seeing me at around this time (she did not get the Chlamydia, thankfully), since she had also moved to California and was only seeing me now when she made business trips back up to my region. So now, shit, I had no one else consistent.

Hm. Another lesson learned.

Lesson Number Twenty-Two

Two women on rotation is usually not enough. If you lose one, now you’re monogamous (YUCK!). If you lose both at around the same time, which is entirely possible, now you’re going without sex until you get back out there and find new women. If regular sex is important to you without having to go pick-up new women, you should consider three women on rotation as a forever minimum. I do.

It still wasn’t over. Just a few weeks later I discovered yet another disturbing development, this one possibly even worse than an STD. Selina had gotten pregnant from Joe.

Wait a minute. I thought she had an IUD? A few months later she would give me some kind of story about how the IUD got “dislodged” during sex with Joe (who had a big cock) and this somehow made her pregnant. Yeah. Right. What’s more likely is that she lied to me about having the IUD to begin with, and I was just lucky as hell to not have gotten her pregnant. I never discovered which was true.

Oh well. Another lesson learned.

Lesson Number Twenty-Three

Just because a woman is cute, fun, and fantastic in bed doesn’t mean you should believe shit she says, nor does it mean you should take the condom off just because you’ve been having sex with her a while. This goes double if she’s under the age of 23. You risk STDs and accidental pregnancies no matter what she says.

As the Christmas season intensified, I decided to take a break from going after any new women and would instead relax for Christmas and hit the dating sites hard in January (which, little did I know at the time, is the best month for online dating).

Now that my schedule was cleared of women, and now that I had much more experience with women, armed with my new goal of having at least three women on rotation, when January 2nd 2009 rolled around, I hit it hard, starting off 2009, my craziest woman year of all time…

More coming soon.

29 Comments on “The Story of My History with Women – Part 13 – Mass Craziness

  1. Yeah well you know…  It happens (STD) to the best of us..  I’ve had a 3-4 scares, in the pregnancy area, with the exactly same type of girls.  Extreme extroverts..  Now I just stay away from them (nothing more than FB).  I connect best with them, since I’m the opposite, but they drive me insane eventually since I do not understand their choices at all.

  2. BD, have you considered the possibility that it’s your kid? The emotional plea followed by the immediate resolution of commitment and marriage from Joe is the stereotypical pattern of a pregnant women.

  3. BD, have you considered the possibility that it’s your kid?

    She got a paternity test the next year and it was his kid.

    Every woman who has ever gotten pregnant while seeing me got a paternity test with a confirmation that it wasn’t mine. No surprise kids for me!

  4. Hey BD,when Selina said that she loves you,do you think she told the truth or she was lying?

    If she had told the truth,how it is possible to leave you in a few days ,like you meant nothing to her?I mean girls can this easily not care about a guy and monkey brench over night?

     

  5. Hey BD,when Selina said that she loves you,do you think she told the truth or she was lying?

    Based on her very negative reaction when I didn’t say I loved her back, I think she was telling the truth in that she “loved” me as much as a fickle, highly extroverted 18 year-old can feel that emotion. Though I could be wrong.

    If she had told the truth,how it is possible to leave you in a few days ,like you meant nothing to her?

    Because she’s a girl.

    I mean girls can this easily not care about a guy and monkey brench over night?

    Yup.

    Particularly if they’re under the age of 23.

    Accept it.

  6. BD,what do you think of using heat as male comtraception.The method says that you stay in hot water for 45 minutes at 116 degrees for 3 weeks .Then your sperm count will be so low ,you will not be able to get girls pregnant for the next 3 months(depends on the guy).(In all this time you can calculate your sperm count and sperm mobility to be sure thay you are temporarly infertile.)

    Do you think is worth experimenting this and using it as a alternative to vasectomy,given the fact that there is not very much data on this subject?

  7. She got a paternity test the next year and it was his kid.
    Every woman who has ever gotten pregnant while seeing me got a paternity test with a confirmation that it wasn’t mine. No surprise kids for me!

    Is that something you ask for? Do you think she/most of them were hoping you were the father?

     

  8. BD,what do you think of using heat as male comtraception.

    http://blackdragonblog.com/off-topic/

    Is that something you ask for?

    You guys are jumping ahead of the story. You’ll have to wait until I get to that part in future installments.

    Do you think she/most of them were hoping you were the father?

    Oh yes. But again, more on that coming later.

  9. This may be the most important article in your history with women series yet. More guys need to learn from your mistakes here and stick to the condom rule, and know their risks if they don’t. An accidental kid is one of the very worst STDs possible. Doesn’t exactly go away with antibiotics… Thanks for the good read.

  10. More guys need to learn from your mistakes here and stick to the condom rule, and know their risks if they don’t.

    I have been stunned at the amount of men, including older men who should know better, who simply don’t use condoms when they should. It’s really, really bad with guys.

    An accidental kid is one of the very worst STDs possible.

    Correct. I have never really feared STDs, but I have always feared accidental pregnancies, for that reason.

  11. Me too! My very biggest fear with sex is an accidental pregnancy, by far. I take some pretty extreme precautions and am very diligent about it these days,  but definitely made some stupid mistakes when I was younger trusting women I shouldn’t have trusted. Luckily I’ve never gotten a woman pregnant even when I was stupid. Now I’ve always got condoms with me, have Plan B on hand at all times, and a few pregnancy tests in my bathroom.

    I wish other people were this careful as well…

  12. Correct. I have never really feared STDs, but I have always feared accidental pregnancies, for that reason.

    Why got a visectomy..  have had 2 girls tell me they thought they were pregnant in the last year and half and it had to be mine…  nope I’m fixed..  sorry..  too old to be making babies..

  13. I can’t wait for Vasalgel to be available. Even if it’s not gonna be available in my 4th world country, I’m going to take a bike ride to where it’s available if it’s needed.

  14. Yeah, vasalgel would be amazing. I’ve been following their progress for years now, donating money to the Parsemus Foundation, and even signed up for human clinical trials (I didn’t get chosen). I’d be willing to bet it won’t be available for many more years though.

  15. Sucks. It’s one of those things that are waaay out of my reach. I’m a guy who would rather search for an alternative medicine treatment than wait for “official” medicines to maybe get released after decades once some big pharma got a possible patent so they can reap my money. Yet in this case, there is nothing I can do but wait, barring the donations.

  16. I took antibiotics for a week

    A week? I tested positive for chlamydia once and just had to take 4 pills at one sitting to clear it, this was about 8 years ago so I doubt it was due to some breakthrough in the medicine.

  17. Damn BD, you got REAL lucky on that one. Glad it was something simple at least that basic meds could get rid of for you.

    After spending my entire adult life being very safe, cautious and regularly tested clean, we got hit with the unlucky stick twice. Just a few months ago, my OLTR (who ALWAYS wears condoms with anyone outside of our relationship) recently tested positive for HSV2 after a scare with one of his Off & On FBs. Even crazier, he was blood tested 2x within 2 months of the exposure, both tests totally negative. When I went to get tested as well for safe measure, guess who also has it? His 3rd test finally showed up positive for him, so now we are just stuck dealing with it together.

    It’s a little scary, that even in doing what we could in being safe with other people, He still contracted it during “safe” sex from someone, and then passed it to me, when we thought everything was perfectly fine after 2 negative tests!

  18. I took antibiotics for a week
    A week? I tested positive for chlamydia once and just had to take 4 pills at one sitting to clear it, this was about 8 years ago so I doubt it was due to some breakthrough in the medicine.

    There are two types of antibiotics for chlamidia. One is azithromycin which is taken as a single dose of 1 gram and another is doxycycline, which is taken every day for a week.

    Depends on a doctor.

    In my case, inflammation got to the prostate so I had to take more antibiotics for another two weeks.

    And I am still due for more tests in a month.

    Wear a fucking condom!

  19. You guys wanting male contraception awaiting for some “fantastical new drug” should just get on testosterone. Usually will reduce your sperm count to 0 and makes you feel amazing.

  20. Ohhhh these “you have to be the father because I didn’t fuck anyone else” but the guy had a vasectomy are my favorite stories.

    Me too. Although I think the best ever was the guy who was married and they agreed to not have kids so he secretly got a vasectomy without telling her. Then she “accidentally” got pregnant.

    Remember the social media uproar was not about her cheating but how bad it was he secretly got a vasectomy without telling her. Crazy shit! 😀

  21. You guys wanting male contraception awaiting for some “fantastical new drug” should just get on testosterone. Usually will reduce your sperm count to 0 and makes you feel amazing.

    I had a vasectomy and use testosterone but test is not always an effective contraception.  Especially if you are given HCG to keep your balls from shrinking.

  22. You guys wanting male contraception awaiting for some “fantastical new drug” should just get on testosterone. Usually will reduce your sperm count to 0 and makes you feel amazing.

    Usually : )

    Didn’t BD himself find that after some time on TRT sperm count got back to normal?

    It’s a little scary, that even in doing what we could in being safe with other people, He still contracted [HSV-2] during “safe” sex from someone, and then passed it to me

    Unfortunately, HSV-2 is more like a skin condition, and condoms aren’t reliable against it.

    A week? I tested positive for chlamydia once and just had to take 4 pills at one sitting to clear it

    I feel the need for some preaching (not particularly related to Chlamydia): If no doctor prescribes it, take no antibiotics, but if one does, take as much as prescribed, even if symptoms disappear halfway through! (Reason: otherwise there’s a very real risk of getting a strain of whatever infected you that’s resistant to what you took. For the same reason, for example, malaria is never treated with artemisinin alone, as artemisinin-resistant plasmodia would be the scariest thing ever.)

  23. Me: So you’re married now?
    Selina: Yep.
    Me: Ok.

    Straight up, I laughed for like five whole minutes after this. Savage before savage.

  24. Hey BD,

    Just chiming in to say I am enjoying this series.  I read all 13 tonight.  Please keep them coming!

  25. I would agree that number 22 is gospel! I have been following this principle and 3 is the sweet spot. More than that will give you a headache with time management. As Heartiste would say always Keep two in the kitty.

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