What to Do If You’re Unusually Picky About Women
The vast majority of men, myself included and likely yourself included as well, are more or less attracted to the standard “hot” type of woman. You know, the stuff we men all (or most of us) like, as dictated by our biology. Youthfulness, fit bodies, perky boobs and butt, longer hair, pretty eyes, and so on.
In addition, as I analyzed here, most men, being highly visual in regards to sexual attraction, also have a “type” that they are more attracted to than any other type of woman. Maybe you prefer Asian girls with small boobs. Maybe your best friend is really into redheads. My favorite, by far, are short, trim blonde girls with big boobs and butts. We all have our type, at least most of us do, and it’s perfectly normal.
As I empirically showed here, some types of women are more desired than others. Most men tend to like hourglass shapes on female bodies. Some other men like super skinny or athletic looks, but these men are greatly outnumbered by the men who like more curvy bodies. This is why strippers and porn stars tend to have bigger boobs and longer hair. More men are sexually turned on by that than by short haircuts or flat chests. But if you like short haircuts and flat chests, that’s fine. Again, its all good and all normal.
Most men who have a type will still be attracted to women outside of that type, and still greatly enjoy having sex with women outside of that type, provided the man finds them attractive. I like short blonde girls with big boobs, but if a woman comes along who is of average height, has brown hair, and small boobs, I’ll probably still enjoy her if she has an amazing face and a big ass. She’s well outside of my type, but because she’s hot, I’m still happy with having sex with her. Again, most men are like this; they have a type, but they don’t stay 100% within their type, and usually don’t want to.
(Hell, as I’ve talked before, most men are actually the opposite of this, and will fuck just about any woman you throw at them. Men are horny dogs and most of us will fuck anything. I won’t, and I know a lot of you won’t, but most men, being hungry, undersexed beta males, will.)
However, there is a small percentage of men who are unusually picky as hell. These guys have a really rough time in their woman lives, and they have only themselves to blame, as I’m about to demonstrate.
These picky bastards break down into two categories: men who have unusually picky or have ultra-high standards for physical appearance, and men who are into really weird sexual fetishes.
I’ve noticed the first category among wealthier, older men who do sugar daddy game or play around with high-end prostitutes. This guy will jump onto Seeking Arrangement, set up a first date with a super hot 20 year-old, and then when she shows up to the meet, he’s horrified that her hips are an extra inch wider than he perceived on her photos. Or maybe she’s about seven pounds heavier than her photos indicated. Or, oh my fucking god, her hair color is slightly different than in her photos.
She’s still a subjective 9 to him on the 1 to 10 scale (which is always subjective), but he doesn’t care. He gets all pissed off, cuts the date short, never has sex with her, then spends the next week bitching online about how “these bitches always lie in their photos” or how “truly hot women are extremely rare.”
He could have had sex with a 20 year-old personal 9, but he’s so damn picky he’d rather go without sex if he can’t find a woman who adheres literally 100% to this perfect, distinct, precise picture he has in his head.
The second type of guy is the guy who’s into some really weird shit sexually. I mean really weird shit. Like he likes women to poop on him. That really turns him on.
Obviously, this guy has a real problem. Not only does he need to have sex with a woman he’s physically attracted to, but ideally, he also needs to find a girl who likes to poop on men. Hm. Good luck with that.
Because of the mental barriers these men have set up for themselves, these super picky guys often have real inner game problems, even if they are woman-experienced Alphas. When that unusual woman comes along that 100% matches what they want, outcome dependence skyrockets. Oneitis is very common. Guys who are more beta instantly surrender themselves to these women and become slaves. Guys who are more Alpha either turn into betas, or they become territorial tyrants with these girls, and drama levels shoot up into the sky and stay there.
When these women dump them, these guys get very sad and/or very angry. Their prefect girl is now gone, and now they have to go out and bust their asses to find another one, if ever (they think). Over the years, many of these guys have written emails to me and comments on my blog defending outcome dependence, and even oneitis. This is the mindset you have when you surrender to outcome dependence, which is the result of being overly picky.
So let’s say you’re that guy. You’re the guy who gets really turned on by women pooping on you. No problem. I think that’s fine. Socially, I’m an extreme liberal. I think monogamy is not only stupid, but doesn’t work. I have an open marriage where my wife watches me have sex with other women, so I’m obviously not one to judge. Whatever you like sexually, as long as its between consenting adults, is perfectly cool with me. Poop away.
However, you need to understand a few things. The first thing is that you are a very, very rare and bizarre exception to the rule. Less than perhaps 1-2% of men are like you. As I’ve said many times, here at this blog, I’m communicating with literally millions of readers. I have to address how most men are, not the ultra-rare 2% exception to the rule. You can’t expect me to carefully calibrate all the advice I give to fit every rare and weird type of guy on the planet. I only have so much time, and only have so much space here to type.
Plus, I have carefully niched my content to a particular type of man, the beta male who is tired of being a slave and the Alpha Male 1.0 who is tired of the work and drama, and who would prefer to become more like an Alpha Male 2.0. If I start veering my topics into how to find that one in a million girl who 100% looks perfect to you in every possible way down to the individual hairs on her head, or to find that hot chick who gets super turned on when she poops on a man, things are going to get very confusing very fast.
So just remember that you’re not like other men. Nothing wrong with that, but don’t forget that because it matters. I’m a fucking weirdo myself, but unlike many of you, I’m self-aware about this and I don’t expect others in the world to conform to my desires.
The second thing to remember is the immortal words of Tom Leykis, when he said, “While looking for the right girl, sleep with all the wrong girls.”
If I’m in hardcore sarging mode looking for new FB’s and MLTR’s (and yes, nitpickers, I know I’m not allowed to have MLTR’s anymore because I’m in an OLTR marriage), while looking for short blonde girls with big boobs, I will have sex with a tall blonde girl with big boobs, and a short black-haired girl with a big ass, and an Asian girl with bigger boobs, and have a great fucking time doing it. Then maybe the fourth girl I have sex with will be my personal ideal of short, blonde, and big boobs. Yay for me.
Maybe it’s not the fourth girl, but the tenth girl, or the twentieth girl. Still, yay for me. I’m having a great time having sex with babes while looking for my ideal.
If your response is that you hate all the other women who don’t like to poop on you, and that you have little to zero sexual interest in them, even if they’re amazingly attractive to you in all other ways, then you need to realize that you have set yourself up for failure. Yes, you did that.
No, I didn’t say you chose the fetish of having women poop on you. But I am saying that you’re choosing to frown at the 99.9% of women who don’t like doing that, even if you find them physically and emotionally attractive.
These guys who say, “You don’t understand BD, I’ll have to go on another 150 first dates to find another girl who wants to poop on me, so I have to be outcome dependent” aren’t acknowledging that lots of those women on those 150 dates are going to be very attractive and exciting to you even if they don’t naturally like pooping on you.
And if you say they aren’t, that you find 100% of all of them boring and unattractive, then I don’t believe you. I have a hard time beliving that if, on a first date, you encounter a woman who is your perfect or near-perfect personal 9 or 10, physically and emotionally, and who likes you, but she’s not into your poop fetish, that you’ll say “Gross!” and immediately kick her to the curb.
No, no, no. I’m pretty sure you’re A) going to have poop-free sex with her, and B) enjoy that sex to some degree.
I haven’t even brought up the topic of getting such a woman to poop on you down the road, once you’ve built up a level of trust. Once a woman really likes you and is well into NRE, you would be shocked at what women agree to sexually. Trust me, I would know. If you give her or offer her OLTR status, double that.
The same goes for you guys who refuse to have sex with anyone unless she’s a 100% perfect personal 10 in literally every way imaginable, down to microscopic evidence. Don’t bullshit me. I know that a woman who comes close to this ideal would really make you happy sexually, and in a (nonmonogamous!) relationship as well. Again, this “all other women suck” thing you ultra-picky guys have is a self-imposed barrier that you have the ability to bring down, or at least relax a little.
Yes, it will be harder to find these perfect women you desire. I’m not denying that. What I’m denying is your ability to enjoy a large number of other accessible women while you’re looking for Ms. Perfect Supermodel or Ms. Poop. That’s completely within your control. Not easy (few things in life are), but within your control.
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