One of the biggest frustrations that men in the modern era have with women is the real or perceived lack of loyalty women seem to have for the men they date or are married to. Blogs and forums all over the internet are full of angry men who are furious that women aren’t loyal. Women dump men. Women don’t respect men. Women cheat on men. Women will be in a long-term serious relationship with you and just suddenly end it, and won’t even seem bothered by it. Women get new boyfriends almost instantly after they dump you. Women reveal personal things about you to their friends and family. And on, and on.
“Why can’t women be loyal?!?!” these men scream.
Are they right? Are women truly not loyal?
As always, I look at the facts to form my opinions and decisions rather than my wants, feelings or Societal Programming. So what do the facts say?
Well, in this case, the angry men seem to be correct. The stats are quite clear. As I’ve discussed and analyzed numerous times, 70-80% of all divorces are initiated by the female, and approximately three-fourths of all girlfriend/boyfriend relationships are ended by the female. On top of that, women also cheat pretty much as much as men do in long-term relationships and marriages. In shorter-term relationships, men tend to cheat more, but that’s only because women tend to dump men and then fuck someone else rather than cheat.
As to the question of how loyal women are in relationships, that’s pretty much clear. Women indeed are not “loyal” in terms of staying with a man they’re with.
Women’s usual argument against this is, “Well, yeah, we dump/divorce guys more, but that’s because guys are assholes! If men weren’t such assholes, we wouldn’t divorce them!!!”
This argument is inherently sexist, and I’ll explain why. The implied argument is that 70-80% of all divorces (the ones initiated by women) are strictly because the husbands are horrible assholes and the wives are innocent victims. That then means women are only responsible for 20-30% of divorces, thus that women are essentially better at being married, nicer during marriages, and that women are better wives than men are husbands.
Anyone who has been reading my material for any length of time knows that is obviously bullshit. As I’ve said many times, and as the data, stats, and science repeatedly show, most women love getting married but women despise being married. Once married and past the three-year mark, women stop having sex, start gaining weight, start getting more bitchy and demanding, and exhibit all sorts of problems in the relationship.
It’s true that men also screw up marriages and relationships. No question about that. For years I have stated here on this very blog that most problems relationships encounter within the first year are overwhelmingly men’s fault, so I’m being objective about this. I’ve also stated at most problems caused in live-in relationships / marriages past the three year-mark tend to be caused by women.
Another argument used by women is that women divorce/leave men because men cheat. I understand this argument and I agree that men who promise monogamy long-term monogamy to a woman (which is astoundingly stupid, but that’s another topic) should do what they promise and not cheat on a woman behind her back.
But wait a minute. If women leaving men is usually the man’s fault, why isn’t a man cheating on a woman usually the woman’s fault? I’m being serious here. Women who use this logic need to apply it both ways. If a man’s wife stops having regular sex with him and gains 50 pounds, and he cheats on her, does the wife bear any responsibility for this? If your answer is no, then you can’t turn around and say that all these divorces women initiate are men’s fault. If your answer is yes (and the answer is yes) then you have to admit that many of these divorce women initiate are because of the woman, at least in part.
That’s the problem with this “men cheat all the time!” complaint. It never includes any context. Every time I see some wife of a politician or celebrity on TV crying about how horrible it is her husband cheated on her, my first question is always the same: “How many times in the last 6 months have you had sex with him? Or do you just give him the usual set of wife excuses every time he tried to have sex with you?” Again, men shouldn’t cheat because cheating is lying, but it’s a perfectly relevant question.
Lastly, women complain that men can’t complain about women being loyal if men cheat all the time. I actually agree with this (notwithstanding the aspect of female fault I just explained). However, women don’t understand that in a man’s world, if a man is a good husband who treats his wife well, takes care of his family, and everyone once in a while bangs a Vegas hooker but always returns to his wife and family, that is considered “loyal.” If the wife finds out about it and instantly divorces the man, destroys the family, takes his kids, and quickly hooks up with a new boyfriend, that is considered “disloyal,” at least in terms of how most men view this.
I’m against the entire concept of monogamy so I disagree with all of this, both the male and female view. If coupled or married people just stopped acting like fucking children or Puritans from the 17th Century, and stopped promising, demanding, and expecting absolute sexual monogamy at all times, none of this stuff would be a problem in the first place. I’m just clarifying how societally programmed men and women tend to view these things.
What To Do About It
So yes, in terms of male definitions of the word, women are not loyal. That’s the problem. Now let’s talk about solutions.
All of my writing on all topics revolves around the concept of objective reality. That the world is how it really is, regardless of your personal feelings, regardless of what you want, regardless of how you think things should be, and regardless of how you have been told they are. That’s the entire point of one of the most important articles I’ve ever written in my life right here. It’s also the baseline for all of my advice regarding women, business, finances, and overall lifestyle.
Long-term happiness comes from the following realizations:
- The world is the way it is.
- The world is not going to change because you want it to.
- The world is not going to change because you try to change it. This is called external solutions, and they virtually never work, as I explained here.
- If you proceed in your life based on how you think the world should be rather than how the world is, you’ll encounter massive problems in your future. (This is why men do things like get traditionally married, or vote for politicians with actual expectations they will change things, or expect women to be loyal.)
Fortunately, you have two more options beyond acting on how you think the world should be.
One option is to withdraw from the entire system, and refuse to have sex with women or get into any serious relationships with women at all. This is the path of the MGTOW. Unfortunately, as I’ve explained on this blog several times before, while that is a path to avoid lots of problems, it’s not a path to long-term happiness. The reality (there’s that word again, reality) is that men like women, like sex with women, and most men like the company of one special woman, particularly as they get older. The man who eschews women completely (or relationships with women) is probably better off than the delusional man who constantly gets into high-drama breakups and divorces with women, but he still won’t be long-term happy (unless he is a rare exception to the rule, and those rare exceptions would be fine to take the MGTOW route, but again, these men are the rare exceptions).
That leaves us with the final option, the only one actually conducive to long-term masculine happiness. It’s not an easy option, and it’s not for everyone, but it will make you happy once you master it. It is this: Take action to get what you want, but in full acknowledgement of how the world actually is, even if you disagree with how the world is.
This means you love women, date women, have sex with women, get into relationships with women, even very serious ones, while assuming that women are not loyal and that she could leave you at any time.
The weak beta male or the right-wing Alpha Male 1.0 takes action on what he wants (relationships with women) but does so not acknowledging how women actually are, and instead assuming they’ll act the way he’s been told women act (beta males) or assuming they will act how women should act (Alpha Male 1.0’s). He gets into serious monogamous relationships or traditional marriages, then she leaves because she’s not loyal, and he’s shocked, and gets sad and depressed (betas) or furious as fuck (Alpha Male 1.0’s).
The MGTOW doesn’t take action on what he wants (relationships with women) and instead focuses on porn and masturbating. At best, he plays with hookers and/or short-term FB’s. He never has a long-term connection with women (or a woman) that he secretly desires (unless he’s an odd exception), particularly as he gets older. Long-term, he’s no more happy than the typical guy in terms of his woman life.
The Alpha Male 2.0 takes action on what he wants (relationships with women), but unlike the typical guy, he objectively looks at the world, sees that, for better or worse, he lives in a society where women are not loyal to men, nor have no incentive to be because of the welfare state and a permissive society, and thus tend to dump guys even when in very serious relationships.
He doesn’t like this, but he wants to be happy, and he knows sitting around and bitching about it won’t make him happy. So instead of screaming and ranting about how horrible today’s women are, and how the entire world should rewind back to the 1950’s (something he knows will literally never happen regardless of who he and his friends vote for), he focuses on internal solutions instead.
Thus, he adopts relationship models (FB, MLTR, OLTR) that protect him against women’s lack of loyalty that may cause problems for him down the road. He’s never monogamous, always has sex with (or perhaps even dates) multiple women at once. He makes sure he has strong long-term goals, that have nothing to do with women, that he finds exciting. He finds great meaning in his life, with or without women. He never expects women to stick around; he’s always prepared for any woman in his life, even when in a very serious relationship, to suddenly leave him, even for reasons he thinks are stupid or petty.
If/when he settles down in his older years, he uses the OLTR marriage model (or variation of it), where he’s still allowed to have sex with women on the side and 100% of his finances are completely separate from her and legally protected. If there’s a break-up/divorce, he’s not exactly happy about it, but he nods knowingly, is not surprised, and his sex life and financial life continue undamaged.
He sympathizes with his right-wing Alpha 1.0 brothers; yeah, women should be loyal. But they aren’t, and sitting around complaining about it accomplishes nothing, other than making you even more angry.
He also knows that going on hundreds of first dates and having scores of short-term relationships to try to screen for a mythical Unicorn Woman isn’t going to work and will likely just waste his time.
He also knows that traveling to some distant country to find her isn’t going to work either because even if he finds such a “loyal” woman, as soon as he brings her back to the Western world, she’ll start acting like all other Western women act.
These things are just right-wing Guy-Disney fantasies, and they don’t acknowledge how the world actually is.
He loves women while A) not making women the be-all and end-all of his life and B) accepting women for how they are, the good and the bad. He enjoys the good while building in systems in his life to protect him from the bad.
As a result, he finds a higher degree of long-term happiness than any other type of man. While other men are suffering and complaining that women aren’t loyal (which is true, they aren’t), he’s having such a great time he doesn’t even notice.
Which path will you choose? As always, it’s up to you.