More Irrational Bitching About the Age Gap in Dating
Oh man. A lot of you emailed me this NY Times article written by a 30 year-old woman bitching about how men like to date younger women.
Instead of posting actual quotes from the article, I’m going to instead address the overall points it makes. If you feel I am not accurately representing the points it’s trying to make (and I will do my best to do so), then simply click the link above and read the article for yourself. It’s not very long.
Point #1 from the article. It’s not fair to women that the average man settles down 2.3 years (or more) after the average woman does. The average age of new mothers is 26, but the average age of new fathers is 31. Thus, it’s not fair that men get five more years of “play time” than women do.
My response. Please show me the person forcing these 26 year-old women at gunpoint to get pregnant and have babies. While you’re at it, please also show me the person forcing all these women to date, marry, and have kids with men who are older than them, rather than men their own age or men who are younger.
What is that, you say? No one is forcing them? Oh. Interesting. So what you’re saying is that women are choosing to have babies when they’re 26 and they’re choosing to date/marry/fuck/have kids with men who are older than them. Women are choosing these things… so why are you complaining? Via feminism, you wanted women to be able to choose their own life path. Great. You got it. Now they can. And now you’re complaining about what these women are doing? And worse, implying this is somehow not fair?
How can a thing be unfair if it’s something you are purposely choosing of your own free will? Any woman reading these words can wait until she’s 30 or 35 to have kids. Any woman can choose to have babies with a man her age instead of a man older than her. If women choose not to do this, that’s women’s fucking fault. There is nothing “unfair” about their personal choices.
Moreover, I have been screaming publicly for almost a decade that no one, man or woman, should even think about having kids in the modern era until he or she is at least 30 years old, preferably older. I think men should wait until at least 40. Not only will having children make you less happy, but having kids murders your big life goals for at least 15 years. Therefore, this is not something you want to do until most or all of your big life goals are already completed.
I realize most women are not going to take that advice (hell, most men don’t take that advice), but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.
Point #2 from the article. It’s not fair for women when they settle down with an older man because then it’s more likely that she’ll have to take care of the man in old age.
My response. The real divorce rate in the Western world for people who get married now is around 70%, sweetheart, and the younger the person, the higher that number becomes. Younger women don’t stick around. That younger woman is going to be long gone from that guy before he even gets close to being old. Read this and this for more data on that.
Point #3 from the article. Women mature faster than men. This is possibly because men know they can settle down at a later age than women.
My response. Correct on both counts. Women do mature faster than men, and as Western men become more beta and child-like, this phenomenon has exacerbated in recent years, and will continue to get worse. I have written about this in great detail both here and here.
I don’t like this any more than you do (well, I do sort of like it because it creates less competition for me for younger, hotter women), but at least I’m not the cause of this problem like you are. The reasons for this childification of men are all due to left-wing social mores such as socialism, third wave feminism, man bashing, divorce rape, the welfare state, and increased size and role of government, all things that I have a very strong feeling you support, and that I have vehemently opposed my entire life.
Once again, like many women (and left-wingers) you’re bitching about a problem you, and people like you created. As I’ve been telling women for many years: you wanted this crap, now have fun dealing with the fallout.
Point #4 from the article. It upsets me that men I go on first dates with who are 30 years old like me have not given any thought to if or when they want kids, while this is a very important thing for me. It’s arrogant.
My response. Yeah. Read everything I just said above. It’s your fault.
Point #5 from the article. It’s arrogant because men think their sperm works just as well at age 30 as it does at age 40 or beyond, and science clearly shows this is not the case.
My response. Incorrect. Men are not thinking this. Men don’t even know about this or care. The few men who do know about this really stress about this a lot. Whenever I tell men to not have kids until you’re at least 40 and have accomplished your big goals, I always get irrational nitpickers who scream their heads off about “birth defects” and crap like that. I showed very clearly in my book that the odds of this actually occurring with older men fathering children is well below The 2% Rule.
Yes, men’s fertility does decrease a little as men age, but men don’t know, don’t care, and with today’s science, it doesn’t matter anyway. A 55 year-old man shooting blanks who really wants to impregnate his young girlfriend or wife can very easily do so with procedures such as in vitro.
Point #6 from the article. Data from OKCupid shows that men prefer women age 20-22 no matter how old the men get, even all the way into their 50’s. By contrast, women of all ages tend to like men closer to their age. Men are arrogant because they think they could actually get a woman this young, and they can’t!
My response. That data shows what men are biologically attracted to, not what they think they can get. The vast majority of men in their 50’s who are slobbering over 22 year-old girls on dating sites and Instagram are beta males who know damn well they could never get a girl like that.
Those few older men who Alpha-up, clean up their appearance, and get some confidence and dating skills can easily date women that age and I know many who do. Shit, I wrote an entire book on how to do it. But those are the exceptions to the rule.
And I haven’t even talked about the entire sugar daddy craze that is leveling the playing field for a lot of these older beta males. Once you introduce money into the mix, many of those “hopeless old guys” can fuck women that young.
Point #7 from the article. I find George Clooney hot (he’s 26 years older than me) and Justin Bieber not (he’s seven years younger than me).
My response. Aaaaannnnd you just proved my entire point, and destroyed your own. Thanks for playing.