A few weeks back, I published an article here called The Stupidity of Looking for External Solutions. While it upset many of you more politically-minded folks both on the left and the right (as I knew it would), it became the most re-posted, re-tweeted, and shared article in the seven-year history of this blog. Clearly, a strong majority of you are interested in this topic, regardless of the smaller percentage of you of whom it angers. Today, I will expand on the topic and the overall concept in an effort to, as always, improve your life rather than worrying about what your world, society, nation, or race is doing or not doing.

In that above linked article, I stated that if you pursue external solutions like becoming politically active in movements or supporting / worshiping politicians (regardless if their names are “Trump” or “Sanders”) with the hopes that these people will somehow directly improve your life, you will succeed only in venting some anger and perhaps making a few new friends. You are extremely unlikely to succeed in actually improving your own life, and you will likely waste decades of your time in the process.

If instead you shift your focus, time, and effort on internal solutions, like working on improving your own income, your dating / relationship abilities with women, your physical fitness, and otherwise improve your own life, while this will still take a few years of work, it will take far less time to achieve real results, and the odds of actually achieving these results are extremely high, often 80% or higher.

Obviously, internal solutions are a much better, smarter, and more efficient way to go about improving your own life, regardless of how entertaining or seductive external solutions may be.

I also said that since you only have very limited time in your life to get all of your stuff done (only about 17 waking hours per day with only three or four decades of truly productive years) like eat, work, pay the bills, attend to family matters, attend to personal hygiene, etc, it’s very foolish to waste your precious little free time on external solutions when you could be focusing on internal solutions instead. Thus, focusing on external solutions is not only non-productive; it can actually harm you by stealing happiness-creating internal solutions away from you.

Does that mean I believe that one should never, ever engage in any external solutions under any circumstances? Not exactly. There are some isolated scenarios where engaging in external solutions won’t harm you. Here they are.

When It’s A Pure Hobby and You Don’t Actually Expect It To Change Anything

The people who are damaging their lives by focusing on external solutions usually suffer from these two conditions:

1. They spend a decent amount of time on external solutions like trolling people on the internet, arguing with people on Facebook or Twitter, watching political videos (that both reinforce and oppose their political viewpoints) and getting worked up about them, voting in national elections, trying to get others to vote, creating or participating in movements to create societal change, getting into screaming fights (both verbal and physical) at protests, and so on. They are doing this stuff every day, seven days a week or close to it, often for hours a day.

2. They really think their guy or the people on their side can actually change things, soon, and in a radical way. In 2000, George W. Bush supporters really thought he was going to make government smaller. (He didn’t, as I said he wouldn’t.) In 2008, Obama supporters really thought he was going to end the US wars in the Middle East. (He didn’t, as I said he wouldn’t.) In 2016, Trump supporters really thought he was going to build an unbroken wall on the Mexican border spanning from San Diego to Brownsville (He won’t. Watch.) In the near future, Bernie Sanders supporters (or whomever replaces his legacy) will really think that they’ll get free college, free health care, and free whatever else, and/or that doing so will work out great. (They’ll get those things eventually, but it will be a fucking mess. Watch.) And so on.

If you spend time in external solutions, but you remove these two conditions, then it won’t harm you.

For example, let’s say you consider bitching about politics as a fun hobby, but you are very sure no actual societal change will come of your actions. You know damn well that you bitching on the internet or punching a chad once every four years for the next corporatist president isn’t going to accomplish a damn thing, but you still think it’s fun.

Let’s also say that, in your day-to-day time management, you treat external solutions the same way I treat video games. When I’m playing a particular computer game (and I’m usually not), I play it just three or four times a week at the most. Every time I play, I set a timer for one hour, play my game, and when the timer goes off, I turn the game off and get back to working on my internal solutions (my goals, my Mission, and my life).

Let’s say you do the same with all of your political stuff. Instead of doing it every day for hours a day, you do it three or four times a week for one hour, and you really don’t expect it to make any big changes in your society; it’s just something you do purely for fun.

In that case, being in the external solution world is probably fine. You’re not going to be upset when your guy or your side screws you (which they always do) and you’re not stealing too much precious time away from your internal solutions.

When You’ve Already Reached A Fundamental Success Baseline

As I talk about in my book, a man requires two fundamental areas for long-term happiness regardless of his age, scenario, personality, or interests. That is, money and sex. For a man, these two things provide a basis for all other success in all other areas of life (like family, children, spirituality, etc). Unless you are a very bizarre exception to the rule, lack of either money or sex for prolonged periods will cause you unhappiness regardless of anything else positive occurring in your life.

However, if you reach a baseline of success in your life where your long-term happiness is more or less assured because you’ve already built that money/sex foundation, then, at that point, it’s probably okay to pursue external solutions if you still want to.

Based on the fundamental baselines of masculine happiness that I talk about in my book, this means that you have accomplished these things:

1. You make $75,000 a year in income or more, via your own business (having a job doesn’t count). Convert to your own currency equivalents if you live outside of the US.

2. You have zero or very little debt.

3. You get laid literally whenever you want with women you consider attractive (having sex with ugly or average girls doesn’t count), and can quickly add new, attractive women to your sex life within 30 days whenever you want, and without having to pay for it. (That last part is only if you’re under the age of about 50. If you’re over age 50, paying for sex is probably okay as long as you can afford it.)

4. You’re in at least decently average physical shape. You don’t have to be ripped or anything; you can even be a little overweight as long as you’re overall healthy, particularly for your age. I mean that you have no major health problems and you’re not a fatass.

If you’ve accomplished all four of those things, then if you still want to spend time in external solutions, it’s probably fine. You’ve established a baseline of masculine happiness financially, sexually, and physically, and may be perfectly happy with where you are for the long-term. At that point, if you really want to spend your time trying to save the world, save Western Civilization, save your country, save your race, or whatever other external solution turns you on, then I guess go ahead.

The problem is that the world, and the internet, is jam-packed full of men on both the left and the right who spend hours upon hours farting around with external solutions who make no where near $75,000 a year and/or who barely know how to get laid unless it’s an average / ugly girlfriend or hooker.

NO!!!

Dude. If this is you, you need to slap yourself in the face and wake yourself up from your political trance. You are sucking the happiness out of your life and you’re likely never going to achieve any level of personal success if you’re wasting your time farting around with politics when you don’t make enough money for basic happiness and/or don’t have decent dating skills so you can get the sex you need.

Stop fucking around with external solutions and:

  • Start your own business.
  • Get your income up.
  • Pay off your debt.
  • Get good with women, or at least to an intermediate level of skill with pickup, dating, and relationships.
  • If you have any serious health problems, get them handled (drug addiction, being seriously overweight, sleeping too much or to little, etc).

Once you get those things done, and yes, it might take a few years if you’re starting all of these areas from ground zero, then feel free to spend time on external solutions if you find meaning in that kind of thing.

You May Not Care As Much As You Think You Do

One parting thought about this. Some of your hardcore political types may find this hard to believe, but once you actually get your life to a place where you’re making plenty of money, getting plenty of sex (from attractive women), have your business and finances pretty much the way you want them, you may find that you don’t quite care nearly as much about the world’s problems as you did back when these things were problematic for you. (And even if you do, you’ll think about them very differently, taking perhaps a “Bill Gates directly eliminate polio” internal/independent approach rather than a “Bernie Sanders make government force someone else pay for my stuff” external/collectivist approach.)

It’s easy to scream for free college when you’re so goddamn poor you can’t even afford to move out of your parent’s house. It’s easy to bitch about Hispanic or Muslim immigrants taking your job when you rely on a dehumanizing corporate job just to pay your friggin’ bills. But, once you’re a self-sufficient guy with the parameters I listed above, and you’ve detached from most of that bullshit system, most or all of these problems go away. That means your concern about them lessens.

I’ve seen it happen, both to me and men I’ve known throughout my life. I was very politically active during the 1990’s, just as angry as many of you about the state of the world/society/nation/culture, back when I was making a fraction of what I make today and when I was barely ever getting laid. Today, since I live the Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle of high, location independent income from my own businesses that I enjoy, while getting all the attractive sex I want via nonmonogamous relationships, not only do I not care about this stuff anymore, but I actually find it quite hilarious, like watching a comedy movie. My focus has shifted to internal solutions, plus helping the top 10% of men (as opposed to the world or my nation/culture) who actually want to help in their lives, as I described here.

It’s a good place to be. I highly recommend it.

(By the way, if you live in the US and on the East Coast, I’ve got something for you that will significantly help you on your journey. Watch this blog on Thursday.)

39 Comments on “Internal vs. External Solutions – Part 2

  1. Some of your hardcore political types may find this hard to believe, but once you actually get your life to a place where you’re making plenty of money, getting plenty of sex (from attractive women), have your business and finances pretty much the way you want them, you may find that you don’t quite care nearly as much about the world’s problems as you did back when these things were problematic for you.

    Good point. This reminds me of something Orwell said in 1984:

    It was not merely that the sex instinct created a world of its own which was outside the Party’s control and which therefore had to be destroyed if possible. What was more important was that sexual privation induced hysteria, which was desirable because it could be transformed into war-fever and leader-worship. The way she put it was:
    ‘When you make love you’re using up energy; and afterwards you feel happy and don’t give a damn for anything. They can’t bear you to feel like that. They want you to be bursting with energy all the time. All this marching up and down and cheering and waving flags is simply sex gone sour. If you’re happy inside yourself, why should you get excited about Big Brother and the Three-Year Plans and the Two Minutes Hate and all the rest of their bloody rot?’

    The youtube video “Ray’s Theory” from Generation Kill also comes to mind. “Investing more in the pussy infrastructure”, LOL.

  2. Hey BD, I agree with you, totally. I am a reforming leftist and I came to the same conclusions : focusing on myself would get me better results than focusing on (useless) politics. But I can’t help reading news and political blogs for hours every day even though it drives me mad and makes me miserable. How can I get rid of that bad habit ? Any tips would be appreciated.

    Thanks for your work by the way.

  3. BD,

    One area worth elaborating on further is where it is unclear that something is an internal or external solution.  A person thinks they have found an internal solution, but it is still external.

    Sometimes it is not obvious….

  4. You bring up a rather interesting point Blackdragon. In my hypothesis based upon this article, I think it’s having too much time on your hands and living in a modern world(all basic needs met in 1st world countries) also leads to too much comfort. Humans evolved to adapt constantly in harsh conditions (lack of basic needs). When we arrived in the late 20th century humans got too comfortable. This goes against the constant need to adapt so people transfer this need into becoming ideologist, lazy, and frustrated. Combine the internet in this and you’ve got the hot mess of today.

  5. I can’t help reading news and political blogs for hours every day even though it drives me mad and makes me miserable. How can I get rid of that bad habit ? Any tips would be appreciated.

    The same way you eliminate any other bad habit:

    1. Temporarily pause any and all other improvement areas of your life (improving your fitness, getting better with women, starting a new business, whatever) and just work on this one thing.

    2. Remind yourself every morning and evening (use your phone to help you) that you’re going to avoid this behavior.

    3. Give yourself a little reward every time you avoid doing it (like a cookie or something).

    4. Find an enjoyable replacement behaviors to do instead.

    5. Allow yourself to do it at little bit so you don’t feel deprived. (Like twice a week for 20 each instead of every day for hours.)

    One area worth elaborating on further is where it is unclear that something is an internal or external solution.  A person thinks they have found an internal solution, but it is still external.

    It’s pretty simple; whether or not you rely on a large group of people to do something in order to affect a specific change in your own life.

    Changing your diet to lose weight – internal solution, since it doesn’t rely on anyone except you.

    Organizing a movement to ban McDonald’s – external solution, since it relies on literally thousands of other people to behave a certain way

    ha ha, that was the largest “NO!!!” I’ve ever seen you write on this blog.

    It is. This political stuff has become too overblown in our society. It’s now a cancer and is slowly killing too many men, who should be focused on more productive things.

    In my hypothesis based upon this article, I think it’s having too much time on your hands and living in a modern world(all basic needs met in 1st world countries) also leads to too much comfort.

    I agree completely. I still remember, way back in the early 2000’s , when I was still married, when my wife at the time and I were watching on TV thousands of left-wingers dressed up like sea turtles smashing Starbucks’ windows in Seattle protesting the WTO.

    As we were watching this insanity, we both said it at the same time: “These are people with nothing to do.”

    (Oh, and by the way, did these stupid protests work? Nope. The WTO has far more power now than it did back then (it’s now 97% of all global trade). External solutions almost never work. You protest like a little child and the elites just shrug and keep doing whatever they want.)

  6. “But I can’t help reading news and political blogs for hours every day even though it drives me mad and makes me miserable. How can I get rid of that bad habit ? Any tips would be appreciated.”

    I was the same. I just went cold turkey, replacing all online news with reading books. Within a couple of weeks, you realise how little politics impacts your life, and how almost all news stories are meaningless clickbait. If anything truly important happens, I am sure someone will mention it.

  7. Its all good and well but staring a business is very risky, i make close to 50k at my job i have my own condo my car is paid for, i am getting back in shape, growing my hair a bit longer i am 45. I sometimes pay for sex, i also need to close to deal with more women, because i still attract some. I am not fat close to 6 feet tall and 230 pounds, would be best around 200 working on this.

    There is a lot of relief not posting on forums Facebook and arguing with people, people looking to argue and always wanting to be right are miserable in there lives. I avoid this, and when someone wants to argue i just flush them away.

    I could care less about what is going on in the world, because i realize that people are selfish today and could care less about me. I stop being the nice guy, and i am being myself not sure if its alpha male 1.0 or just age kicking in and life experience, i was on my balcony the other day and my neighbor who is 40 hit on me even if she has a boyfriend go figure, and i get lots of single mom attention hahaha, i could care less.

    What truly maters in life is not those 4 things, starting a business, OK debt free yes, and in reality not all man can get hot chicks this is an illusion that the so called alpha male community is spreading. Women do love a tall muscular man, i have a small gut now and i still get plenty of attention i am a bit shy yes but this again is stupid, i talk to women everyday when i walk for an hour its easy i just don’t close the deal asking them out maybe its out of fear from my past relationships that failed or the fact that being single for 4 years i have learned so much about myself, cooking cleaning laundry and more i can do what i want when i want no kids around, that i don’t want to get into another relationship with women.

    Funny how men compete against each other to make them look popular, when they can get more chicks then another guy etc, i never cared about that, last summer at 44 i got hit on by a hot waitress at belle et boeuf in Montreal she was 23… we hooked up for 3 months then i called it quits, most people would brag i had my fun and that’s it.

    What maters the most in life is that you be happy, either your fat, bald, tall muscular make 25k per year, and more being happy is the most important thing…. at 45 and more mature i can tell you this is the best advise.

    If you are not happy then change the things to make it better.

  8. ..it became the most re-posted, re-tweeted, and shared article in the seven-year history of this blog. Clearly, a strong majority of you are interested in this topic..

    It should be. It’s strike to the point of why you establish this medium from its genesis(whether you are aware of it or not). From another perspective, it’s also why of most people found and *still* stick to this blog(whether they are aware of it or not).

    Actually, by that post alone is adept to single-handedly at crystallizing from most of your views generally speaking, your blogs, your books, and your core principles.

    But, once you’re a self-sufficient guy with the parameters I listed above, and you’ve detached from most of that bullshit system, most or all of these problems go away.

    To assist and accelerate this process, you should also endeavor to detach from the wrong view of reality. It’s really important, if you leave this out, it could become a stumbling block from any objectives you want to attain.

  9. I was the same. I just went cold turkey, replacing all online news with reading books. Within a couple of weeks, you realise how little politics impacts your life, and how almost all news stories are meaningless clickbait. Within a couple of weeks, you realise how little politics impacts your life, and how almost all news stories are meaningless clickbait.

    Yes. I did a variation of this about 15 years ago. The viewpoint I came to is not exactly that most news stories or clickbait (though you could certainly make the case that they are), but that most news stories are specificly designed to make you angry or scared, and specifically about things you can’t control.

    It’s all based on emotion and irrationally, and no real substance that applies directly to your day-to-day life. I’m mean seriously, what are the odds that you personally are going to be killed by a terrorist, shot by a racist cop, have your job literally taken by a Mexican, or a rich, white CEO come to your apartment and oppress you? Yet both the left and the right are incensed about these kinds of things.

    That kind of thing might be emotionally satisfying in the short term, especially for more emotional or irrational people, but it pulls your energy and focus away towards bettering your own life for you and your loved ones.

    Actually, by that post alone is adept to single-handedly at crystallizing from most of your views generally speaking, your blogs, your books, and your core principles.

    True.

  10. Its all good and well but staring a business is very risky

    No it isn’t, as I’ve explained before. If you start your own business and do everything correctly, carefully following models that work instead of just jumping into something you’re excited about, your odds of success are very high (though it will take 1-3 years, so you’ll need some savings or side-income to keep you alive for a little bit, or start a part-time business on the side first, like I did).

    The reason most new entrepreneurs do go out of business is because they don’t do any of this. They do everything wrong and don’t follow models that work.

    i make close to 50k at my job

    Not enough for long-term happiness, sorry.

    in reality not all man can get hot chicks this is an illusion that the so called alpha male community is spreading

    I’ve already addressed that excuse sooooo many times at this blog. Read excuse number five here. Frankly, based on your attitude, you should read that entire article plus this one, since your excuses all seem to be women-centric. (You make money to make YOU happier, not to more easily get chicks. That’s certainly not why I make money.)

  11. So many parallels between this article and Harry Browne’s book.

    To quote @Wall Street Playboys(28th July 2017):

    Losers = Complain about “The System”

    Winner = Realise you can’t change it. Find loop holes and capitalize immediately.

    No complaints.

    The games rigged. But not everybody talks about that…..

  12. 4. You’re in at least decently average physical shape. You don’t have to be ripped or anything; you can even be a little overweight as long as you’re overall healthy, particularly for your age. I mean that you have no major health problems and you’re not a fatass.

    4 good points but would regard #4 as the most important.  Most do not understand why, just like most do not understand Apex Alpha is different than 1.0 or 2.0.  Health is the difference between your “opportunity window” being 15 years or 50 years.  How do you put a dollar/value figure on that?  And I am not talking about average healthy.  Average healthy is still filled with trusting a doctor for your health as well as taking their prescribed medications.  The real problem is that there is so much information/misinformation out there regarding health that 99% of people really don’t know how to be healthy.  It is a lot of work.  I can tell you the facts though…women subconsciously analyze how healthy you are.  Ask an old dude if his money really matters when he is a prisoner to struggling health.

    Health is the secret especially today since food quality has changed so much from what humans have eaten for thousands of years.

  13. trolling people on the internet

    This is becoming more and more a profitable thing to do. Look up “Infinite Elgintensity” on youtube. He is hilarious, and he originally did his series’ as a joke but now its become a major source of income for him.

    Also as much as I dislike Sarkeesian and her ilk, I must admit that they are evil geniuses for making their collectivist external solutions (and agenda) profitable.

    By the way, if you live in the US and on the East Coast, I’ve got something for you that will significantly help you on your journey. Watch this blog on Thursday.

    I wonder if being in South Florida counts as the east coast? Or is it just the New York and New England areas. It sucks that I wasn’t able to see BD when he was in South Florida. But that’s just how it is I suppose.

  14. Oh and I would put #5 as having a loving son you can trust.  One you can be proud of to carry on your lineage.  It is only natural.

  15. Losers = Complain about “The System”

    Winner = Realise you can’t change it. Find loop holes and capitalize immediately.

    Perfect; exactly. I love it.

    would regard #4 as the most important

    and

    I would put #5 as having a loving son you can trust.  One you can be proud of to carry on your lineage.

    We’re not talking about what attracts women or what an Alpha should do with his life. We’re only talking about the baseline requirements you should have in place before you start to seek external (political) solutions.

    This is becoming more and more a profitable thing to do.

    Well, as I said in the first part of this article, if you’re being a trolling asshole/bitch on purpose to make money on the internet, that’s different. You’re making money, so it instantly becomes an internal solution. Shit, just look at all the people who have shifted 80-100% of their content to Trump in an effort to make money off his presidency, either by supporting him (Scott Adams, Mike Cernovich, Stefan Molyneux, etc) or by trashing him (Stephen Colbert,  Keith Olbermann, etc). It’s all about clicks, views, fame, and cashola at that point. (I was seriously tempted to go full-Trump myself, because there’s so much money in it, but my internal compass is too congruent. I like to sleep at night too.)

    I wonder if being in South Florida counts as the east coast?

    Wait until Thursday.

  16. A part of increasing your own happiness is also by avoiding the things/people that cause you the most stress/unhappiness. There might be two people, religion, a few negative blogs, and political news that causes most of your stress/unhappiness, and by avoiding those things your relief/happiness automatically increases.

    Stopping going to church decreased the harmful cortisol caused by the constant stress of religious pressure to be unnaturally sexually repressive and immediately made me feel much happier and feel a huge amount of more freedom.  Unfortunately it is a bunch of PUA blogs/manosphere blogs that exponentially increased guys complaining about politics. While I’m a supporter of “Game,” stopping reading the negative PUA blogs that often complain about women, complain about feminism, hate on women, try to put women down, oddly promote traditional marriage, and oddly frequently promote conservative politics that these PUA’s don’t seem to understand is fundamentally against “pick-up” also decreased a lot of my stress levels. If someone said they wanted to buy a car and they blogged about how much they hated cars that wouldn’t make any sense and they would sound insane. If someone said they played a sport and they complained about the sport and they constantly complained about the people who play the sport that wouldn’t make any sense and they would sound crazy. I’m 100% in favor of “Pick-Up,” but it is a few popular PUA types bloggers who admitted they were very beta and insecure that started off blogging about “Game (ways to meet women for the possibility of sex)” and gradually blogged more about hating on women and then more and more about politics until their main focus was politics, then it snowballed to almost every other PUA type blogger/commenter did the same and instead of “Game” it became a bunch of guys just constantly complaining about politics.

    Personally for a “cause” I would like more of a “sex-positive/pro-sexuality society,” but then realized interestingly enough it is because of guys like those PUA types (that I’m not against “real Game”) that hate on women and hate on sexuality in general (it’s the majority of GUYS who are sex-negative) that because of them holding it back there probably won’t be a more sex-positive society for hundreds of years (if ever), so I stopped associating with them and just focus on living my own life.

    Most are not aware (as many people watch these things for HOURS a day in an intentionally induced hypnosis trance thereby proving the effectiveness of the trance) that news/religion/social conditioning is not to genuinely educate you/save you/inform you, as it is to stimulate through fear/anger/survival your R-Complex brain to put you into a hypnotic trance to make it easier to pacify/control you and society.

    I have the Harry Browne book “How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World,” but I haven’t read it yet. When religion kept saying things such as, “You have to be married to have sex/sex is for marriage only/don’t use contraception/etc,” that I 100% disagreed with, is when I started questioning those incorrect limiting beliefs, actively began to look for and find the loopholes around those false beliefs, learned the truth that is was ok to have unmarried sex and it was ok to use contraception, and thus found more freedom. If I had stayed in church whose false beliefs felt totally not natural and not normal, continued to read the PUA blogs that promote hate/anger/strange political beliefs, and had gotten more caught up in politics, then I would still be stuck in the mental trap of the external prison instead of the internal freedom of living the remaining years enjoying a happy lifestyle.

  17. No it isn’t, as I’ve explained before. If you start your own business and do everything correctly, carefully following models that work instead of just jumping into something you’re excited about, your odds of success are very high (though it will take 1-3 years, so you’ll need some savings or side-income to keep you alive for a little bit, or start a part-time business on the side first, like I did).

    I think that the whole “start part time” is a very important point. I have a STEM education with a job that I love that pays more than $75 k for only 37 working hours a week (including paid breaks), so I have plenty of time to start something on the side. In the end, I hope to become completely reliable on my own income from a side bussiness, then convert my STEM experience to self-employment (meaning consultant bussiness rather than full-time employment). I think it’s important to adress that people with a real university degree in a protected field should strive for self-employment differently than people without an education (or with a useless college degree). If you have a title with authority, best use it to maximize your hourly rates.

  18. @2017HappyLifestyle

    “While I’m a supporter of “Game,” stopping reading the negative PUA blogs that often complain about women, complain about feminism, hate on women, try to put women down, oddly promote traditional marriage, and oddly frequently promote conservative politics”

    This is why I got away from many of those blogs and turned to places like this which are much more sex positive.  I also find it very odd that these guys are so into promoting these 1950’s traditional models of marriage and whatnot.  They would not have enjoyed living in those times if they are true high sex drive men.  It was very hard to get sex back then without paying for it.  You pretty much had to get married to get laid (and yes they did get hookers back then too so it wasn’t all Ward Cleavers”).   Seems to be much cognitive dissonance in the PUA area these days.   They hate on the “sluts”, love the pump and dump,  all while striving to find some virgin bride in a far away land.  These guys are deluded if they think they’ll never cheat on these angel wives they so desire.

    Once you have a wide variety of women over the years, it’s very difficult, if not impossible, for a high sex drive man to stick with just one girl for life.   You’re too used to having different girls all the time.  I think the rare few that can go a lifetime without looking for strange are the guy that haven’t had many partners, or those that end up marrying the first girl they fuck (I know a couple guys like this in my social circle-plus they’re not exactly beating off girls with a stick anyway).  They basically don’t know what they are missing and are probably lower sex drive anyway.  I think BD wrote about this and thinks it’s about 10-12% of the population.

  19. Another question :

    While I agree that the Internal solution is a better way to improve one’s own life (and most people have no idea what is truly possible in terms of Internal Solutions)…

    Hasn’t civilization progressed only via the dogged people who care about external solutions?  Who sacrificed their lives for some long-shot external solutions?

    While we may not want to take up the heavy-lifting that they took up, aren’t they the reason the world progressed?  The reason people like us even have the luxury of Internal solutions?

    Anyway, just something to think about. Perhaps we should be grateful to those who do things that we don’t want to/have to..

     

     

  20. A couple of questions for Blackdragon about other articles you wrote, where some scattered items caught my eye :

    1) Is it true that when you were married, you married a woman older than yourself?

    2) You said that the instances of the worst sex you had was within monogamous marriage.  Yet a lot of married men say that married sex is better, because of the pair-bonding (plus the fact that raw-dogging is the norm since the wife is on birth control).  What are the reasons for such a divergent opinion?

    3) Is it true that even you get just 2% response rates from online dating initial outreach?  If so, and given that there might only be a couple hundred women who are pretty within a 30-mile radius on a particular dating site, isn’t that too few prospects?

    4) I agree that a man can have initial sex with a woman without paying.  Is it possible to keep the costs low even after that?  I have plenty of money, but I still want to keep each meetup with a woman I am having sex with down below $20.. Otherwise is really just isn’t worth it.

    5) I couldn’t quite follow what the conclusion was in the ‘Do children bring you happiness’ debate.  Is it your contention that a man who wants children still not risk modern marriage, and forget about that dream?

    Thanks.  This is just a set of questions collected from reading many of your articles.

     

  21. While I agree that the Internal solution is a better way to improve one’s own life (and most people have no idea what is truly possible in terms of Internal Solutions)…

    Hasn’t civilization progressed only via the dogged people who care about external solutions?  Who sacrificed their lives for some long-shot external solutions?

    1. I don’t care about society. I’m certainly not going to sacrifice my life for society.

    2. The past Western societies you’re talking about (for the large part) deserved to be saved and were not suicidal. That no longer applies today. Read this.

    While we may not want to take up the heavy-lifting that they took up, aren’t they the reason the world progressed?  The reason people like us even have the luxury of Internal solutions?

    My answers above. You’re not wrong, but your context is off. This is not the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, the American Revolution, or The Age of Sail. We’re in the middle of of a collapsing empire that no side is serious about fixing, since fixing what needs to be fixed will cause way too much pain and isn’t politically viable. There is no bright light at the end of this tunnel (with the possible exception of technology, but that isn’t a political solution).

    1) Is it true that when you were married, you married a woman older than yourself?

    Yes.

    2) You said that the instances of the worst sex you had was within monogamous marriage.  Yet a lot of married men say that married sex is better, because of the pair-bonding (plus the fact that raw-dogging is the norm since the wife is on birth control).  What are the reasons for such a divergent opinion?

    1. Most of those men are betas, who statistically have only had sex with A) a small number of women and B) mostly average or unattractive women.

    2. Most of these men are talking about the first three years of marriage, the best 3 years (NRE). These aren’t men who’ve been married and monogamous for 15 years.

    3) Is it true that even you get just 2% response rates from online dating initial outreach?

    Usually no, but sometimes, yes.

    If so, and given that there might only be a couple hundred women who are pretty within a 30-mile radius on a particular dating site, isn’t that too few prospects?

    Your numbers are way off. There aren’t only 200 hot women within a 30 mile radius if you leave in or very near to a big city. Read this. There are way more than that.

    If you don’t live near a big city, then yes, you will have a problem, as I’ve explained many times.

    4) I agree that a man can have initial sex with a woman without paying.  Is it possible to keep the costs low even after that?

    Yes. I’ve done it scores of times over long, multi-year FB and MLTR relationships.

    I have plenty of money, but I still want to keep each meetup with a woman I am having sex with down below $20.. Otherwise is really just isn’t worth it.

    The vast majority of the sex I’ve had over the last ten years (I would guess 75%?) consists of the woman just coming over to my house, talking, and then having sex. Cost to me = zero. You’ve got to remove the stupid Societal Programming in your brain that says you always need to go “out” whenever you spend time with a woman.

    5) I couldn’t quite follow what the conclusion was in the ‘Do children bring you happiness’ debate.  Is it your contention that a man who wants children still not risk modern marriage, and forget about that dream?

    I don’t fully understand the question. My contention is that no man should pursue a serious relationship (OLTR) until he’s at least 30 or 35, and shouldn’t think about having kids until his big goals in life are completed (usually means around age 40 for most guys), and that no man should get a TMM (traditional monogamous marriage, done the usual legal and sexual way) ever, for any reason, and that the trappings of TMM are still available without going about it the usual way if he just thinks outside the box a little. Read this.

    No more off-topic questions now. Thanks.

  22. @Black Dragon As a futurist like you, I can see technology such as AI (like the one in the movie Her) solving social conflicts in 1st world countries. It would help them(individuals) solve problems internally like a therapist or psychologist but better and free. Hopefully leading to people achieving goals and less whining, henceforth “having a life”. What’s your input?

  23. I can see technology such as AI (like the one in the movie Her) solving social conflicts in 1st world countries. It would help them(individuals) solve problems internally like a therapist or psychologist but better and free. Hopefully leading to people achieving goals and less whining, henceforth “having a life”. What’s your input?

    I never thought of that aspect but I more or less agree. Loneliness is an epidemic in our society, and yes, being able to talk to a sweet, smart, positive, and supportive AI would help a lot of people. The movie Her is a good example.

  24. Hey BD. Idk if this relates to the topic but can an alpha 2.0 have both internal and external motivation? Before i started gaining confidence from blogs and websites similar to this I solely had external motivation.
    For example, I wanted to get better with girls to show my peers, family and friends that I could get attractive women in my life. However, now i have more of an internal motivation. I want to become better with women in order to feel more confident, have alot of sex and be more outcome independent.
    As an alpha 2.0 is it ok to have internal as well as external motivation driving you to accomplish your goals?

  25. For example, I wanted to get better with girls to show my peers, family and friends that I could get attractive women in my life. However, now i have more of an internal motivation. I want to become better with women in order to feel more confident, have alot of sex and be more outcome independent.
    As an alpha 2.0 is it ok to have internal as well as external motivation driving you to accomplish your goals?

    As I talked about in the comments in the first part of this article, an external solution is where you require hundreds, thousands, or millions of people to do a certain thing over a prolonged period of time. If instead you only require four or five people to do something, like your family or employees in a really small business, that’s more of a grey area, and might be okay depending on the scenario.

    As side from that, caring about what your friends / family / peers think of you is outcome independence, and a true Alpha 2.0 shouldn’t give a shit. I honestly don’t care what my friends or family think of my personal life (and if I did, my life would look like the typical beta or monogamous Alpha 1.0; traditionally married to a pretty girl, monogamous, corporate job, big fancy house, etc).

  26. I never thought of that aspect but I more or less agree. Loneliness is an epidemic in our society, and yes, being able to talk to a sweet, smart, positive, and supportive AI would help a lot of people. 

    Yep.  And it is not just lonely elderly people, but introverted beta males.

    It is not a sexual thing, just verbal conversation with the female AI.

    Given that it will eat up time that the young man might otherwise have spent in pursuit of flawed modern women, it cannibalizes the attention/freebies that women get too.

    The beta male will arrive at home on Friday night, eat, and then just spend 3 hours with this conversational AI before going to sleep.  Bars, clubs, and the women who go there wanting attention hardest hit.

    I’d call that a pretty efficient internal solution.

  27. I never thought of that aspect but I more or less agree. Loneliness is an epidemic in our society, and yes, being able to talk to a sweet, smart, positive, and supportive AI would help a lot of people.

    A real person would be even better. It could be somebody like a pen pal. If you are creative, you can even make money out of that. For example, there are plenty of girls in Latinamerica/other countries who want to learn english. And there are paltforms online for english learning where YOU can get paid just by talking to some girl (or guy) for a while and teaching him/her english. There is no reason to talk with an AI when there are millions of people in the world who want the same as you.

  28. big fancy house

    Hey BD, can do you an article about renting versus ownership of a house (among other home-related stuff) ? IIRC last time you talked about houses you were focusing on location.

  29. To mirror what others have written, I started reading less RP stuff and more time here.

    After you understand something, the time comes to TAKE ACTION and fix it rather than sport bitch about it.

    I know that Caleb is doing this for the $ and I couldn’t care less. He’s doing good work.

  30. Hey BD, can do you an article about renting versus ownership of a house (among other home-related stuff)?

    Sure.

  31. After 15 years of marriage, where you just let yourself go mentally and physically and then divorce, it takes an enormous amount of time to fix yourself internally.  A lot of time reading (like this site), exercise, diet, mediation, testing your progress, thinking about your mistakes, and then going back to the drawing board.

     

    The process is an enormous amount of work. It can drain you emotionally and physically.  Especially in your late 40’s and 50’s.  But it’s either that or drowning yourself in a drug, or some nonsense activity like politics. Neither of which will make you a better person or make you happy.

  32. Internal AND External solution to your life, politics, and society: No more human breeding.

    If you want to maximise your personal and family happiness and wealth, if society is doomed, if we are all fighting over limited resources, does it make sense to create another (unhappy, unsustainable) human? 
    NO!!! bad doggy!!! bad lineage!!!

    Thank you for thinking before breeding. May we live long and well, and die out.
    Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

  33. @Frater take a cue from Tim Ferriss. If you want to eliminate a bad habit: take up an anti-charity and donate a painful amount of money when you break the habit.

    I’ve done it. It really, really, hurts physically, mentally, and politically! And so far it has worked a miracle…

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