Today we’re going to discuss an important aspect of lifestyle design and dating logistics that is almost never talked about. That is, where exactly to live in your city for your absolute best results in terms of both your dating/relationship life and the other areas of your life.

This article is not about what type of city to live in, or the best size of city to live in. However, since I know that question will arise, I will address it briefly before getting to my main point.

I have said before that dating new women and maintaining a decent roster of FB’s and MLTR’s requires a man to live in a city of at least one million people or more, and the larger the city, the better. Below one million, the Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle becomes more difficult, but is still doable. Below about 400,000 people, it becomes near impossible unless you get extremely creative, or don’t mind driving several hours on a regular basis to a larger city, or you don’t mind throwing more money around in your dating life. (Perhaps the “rural Alpha 2.0” might be a good topic for a future blog post. Hmmm…)

In terms of what type of city, the lifestyle I teach works in any Western city (US, Europe, Canada, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, etc), plus most Asian, Russian, and South American cities (albeit with some modifications for some of the more conservative Asian cities).

I can’t vouch for any cities in regions beyond this, like in Africa, India, or the Middle East. (I would not recommend living in those dangerous or anti-sex regions anyway, unless it’s temporary or you’re doing something unusual-but-necessary for your Mission.)

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the main topic; the best place to live within your city of 1+ million people.

I break down a city into the following zones. Each zone has its own set of pro’s and con’s.

  • City core
  • Outer core
  • Suburbs
  • Outer Suburbs
  • Rural
  • The Boonies

I will describe each, then give you recommendations at the end of the article.

City Core

This is literally the downtown area, meaning you live in a high-rise apartment right downtown.

Advantages:

  • Extremely easy access to women. Terrific for night game, street daygame, online dating, and just about every other type of game.
  • Fun and exciting.
  • Don’t need a car; everything is within walking distance, mass transit covers the rest.

Disadvantages

  • Ridiculously expensive, not just in rent, but in literally everything you spend money on. Living in the city core is going to suck up a massive percentage of your income (unless you live in an unusually inexpensive country). Another component of this is sky high taxes. City dwellers pay the highest taxes of anyone else in the world.
  • Very tiny living spaces, unless you are one of the super rich or you live in an unusually cheap city. You’d better be accustomed to living in a very tiny apartment, even if you have roommates.
  • High amount of stress. Numerous studies have shown that people who live in downtown areas tend to have more stress, more health problems, and live shorter lives.
  • Poor air quality. Say hello to health problems because of this if you live in the city core long-term.

Outer Core

This is when you definitely live “in the city,” but not quite all the way downtown. You’re right outside the core where most of the high rises are. You likely live in an apartment, but it’s possible you live in an old house as well.

Advantages:

  • Easy access to women. Not quite as easy as in the city core, but very close.
  • Fun and exciting, but not nearly as stressful as living in the core. It’s a slightly quieter lifestyle with a slightly more suburban feel.
  • Easy access to everything. However, you might still need a car (depending on the city).

Disadvantages

  • Very expensive. Not quite as high as the core dwellers, but still very high. Sky high taxes too.
  • High crime rates. Of all the zones described here, the outer core has the highest crime rates by far. In most cities, people who live in the outer core become “accustomed” to things like theft, vandalism, and vagrancy on a semi regular basis.
  • Poor air quality, pretty much as bad as the core.

Suburbs

This means you live outside of the city, in the ‘burbs. You probably live in a house, though there are many apartment buildings in the suburbs as well.

Advantages:

  • Calm, relaxing lifestyle. Good zone to raise kids if that’s something you want.
  • Cost of living is still somewhat high, though not nearly as high as in the city. Taxes are usually lower as well.
  • Decent, but not great access to women. Not as good as in the city, and transportation is now an issue, but the suburbs are still full of women.
  • Reasonably easy access to everything, though you will need to own a car.

Disadvantages

  • While it’s technically not as expensive to live in the suburbs as in the city, there is a very strong “keeping up with the Joneses” aspect to living in the suburbs that often drives lifestyle costs up for emotional reasons. When your next door neighbor has a perfect yard, or a cool new boat, or a kickass barbeque, or pulls up in a badass new truck, it’s very hard to say no to doing these things yourself even if you never really wanted them in the first place. Women in particular are absolute prisoners of this system, so if you live with a woman and live in the suburbs, you need to be extremely careful about your budget… she’s going to constantly be screaming at you to look like everyone else on the block.
  • There are lots of kids and teenagers in the suburbs, far more than in the city, which may irritate some.
  • If you need to go into the city, you’re looking at a real drive, with real traffic, that will take some time and gas. It’s not convenient to go to the city very often.

Outer Suburbs

This is the zone between the suburbs and the rural area, perhaps 45+ minutes away from the city core. It’s just like the suburbs except that everything is more spread out. Stores and entertainment are farther away, houses are further apart from each other, and apartment buildings are rare (and if they do exist, are very small).

Advantages:

  • Very calm, quiet, relaxing lifestyle, more so than the suburbs. Good zone to raise kids if that’s something you want.
  • Very low cost of living. You get a LOT for your money. You can live like a little king as compared to your buddies living in or near the city. Very low taxes too.

Disadvantages

  • You don’t have easy access to women anymore. Dating and relationships are going to require some serious transportation, logistical planning, and budgeting. Driving distance logistics need to be accounted for in ways guys near the city never need to worry about.
  • You are really far from the city now; making that trip is a real excursion when you consider traffic, often taking as long as an hour one way, so you’d better have a lifestyle where you don’t need to go into the city very often.

Rural

This is the zone well past the suburbs and outer suburbs, way out into the country, easily one hour away from the city core or more. Things like apartment buildings, shopping centers, and restaurants do not exist out here. All you see is land, with the occasional house or farm. Houses out here tend to be huge and expensive, and are usually located acres away from their closest neighbor. Most people who live out here tend to be rich people, retired people, and farmers.

Advantages:

  • Ultra calm, quiet, relaxing lifestyle.
  • Isolated lifestyle, usually with lots of land. Great for introverts or guys who love nature.
  • Virtually zero crime. People don’t even lock their doors when they leave their homes because they don’t need to.

Disadvantages

  • Somewhat expensive. Homes out here tend to be nice, large, and costly. You’ll often have to purchase land as well, even if you don’t want to.
  • Everything is far away. Even getting groceries or seeing a movie means you’re in your car for a long time.
  • Women are essentially gone. The only women around, what few there are, are older and married.
  • People have more of a right-wing or redneck attitude, which may be irritating to some.

The Boonies

People in the boonies live two hours or more away from any large city. They’re literally out in the middle of nowhere. Either they live in large tracts of cheap land, or they cluster in very, very tiny towns.

Advantages:

  • Ultra cheap, the cheapest zone by far. You can literally buy a big four bedroom house for as low as $30,000 or less. Even guys with lower incomes can live like an emperor in the boonies as long as they stay out of debt.
  • Ultra calm, quiet, relaxing lifestyle.
  • Isolated lifestyle, usually with lots of land. Great for introverts or guys who love nature.
  • Virtually zero crime (although stupid, bored teenagers can sometimes be a mild problem).

Disadvantages

  • Everything is not only far away, but hours away. Even getting groceries means you’re in your car for a long time. Going to the city is a big event and only something you do for a “vacation.”
  • Women are essentially gone. The only women around, what few there are, are older and married (and probably very ugly). Even if you encounter the rare, hot teenage girl, she’ll move out of the region the instant she turns 18.
  • Extreme right-wing / redneck attitudes among what few people live around you, which may be irritating to some.
  • Not a good place to raise kids. There’s not enough social interaction and not enough for them to do. Teenage pregnancy and drug use are often pretty high in the boonies.
  • Unless you’re a hermit, everyone in your local area is “up in your business.” Literally everyone knows all of your personal details. Local gossip is rampant and an accepted part of life.

The Best Zone to Live In

The “best” zone to live in depends on the type of guy you are and your objectives. If you’re a young, Thrill of the Hunt PUA guy who is into one night stands and notch counts, then without question you need to live in the city core or outer core. The monogamous, beta male family man will want to live in the suburbs (as will his wife, who will probably force him to move there whether he wants to or not).

In terms of the Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle that I talk about, where you are making as much money as you can on the lowest amount of hours per week, via a small but profitable location independent business or two, where your monthly taxes and expenses are minimized, and where you are dating multiple FB’s and/or MLTR’s (and/or perhaps an OLTR), the best zone to live in is the outer suburbs. The second best option would be the suburbs or rural. The third best, but not great option would be the outer core (too expensive) unless perhaps you’re a younger guy planning on moving out of that area at some point in the future. The worst options are the core (way too expensive) and the boonies (too few women).

Exceptions to this would be if you live in the city core or rural/boonies for just a few months a year, which I’m planning on doing before 2025 when I permanently move out of the USA. Downtown Hong Kong, my favorite city in the world, will likely be a destination where I spend a few months out of the year. Yet, I won’t live there. Too expensive and too stressful (and in Hong Kong’s case, too hot and humid in the summer). I’ll likely spend a few months there, a few months in the USA during the summer to visit my friends and family, and spend the rest of the year in the outer suburbs in a place like New Zealand or Argentina.

Another possible exception would be for older guys who have a live-in OLTR. These men may be able to pull off living in the rural or boonies zones, making occasional trips closer to downtown to visit regular FB’s.

Younger guys focused more on getting laid and less on making money might be okay in the core or outer core temporarily, just as long as you have a specific battle plan and future dates to get the hell out of there so you can maximize your income, minimize your debt, minimize your taxes and living expenses, and maximize your investing and savings.

Today, I live in the outer suburbs. I used to live in the suburbs for many years, and both the higher costs and the “keeping up with the Joneses” aspect drive me crazy, so I moved to the outer suburbs several years ago. It was one of the best decisions of my life. I live very well, spend very little money in terms of living expenses, pay very little taxes, live in a very nice, but very inexpensive house, and live a very happy, low-stress lifestyle.

Granted, seeing women is a challenge, but it’s my only challenge, and it’s not a showstopper at all. In my opinion, the Alpha 2.0 lives as far away from the downtown core as possible, to the point where women complain about how far out you live, but still make the effort to come see you. This means you’re getting laid while still saving a lot of money in lifestyle. If women are happy to meet you where you live because you’re so close to downtown, you’re spending a needless amount of money in lifestyle costs, at least in my opinion.

For many years, since moving out to the outer suburbs, women have regularly complained that “I live too far away,” yet they’ll still drive out to my house to have sex with me. If I lived in a rural or boonies area, this would not happen. They’d GPS my address and immediately say hell no.

Thus, the outer suburbs is the perfect Alpha 2.0 balance between low cost of living and access to women. By living closer to the city, you waste money, and by living further away, you lose access to women. If Alpha 2.0 is something you want, I suggest setting a goal to move to this zone at some point in your future if you don’t already live there.

For more adventurous Alpha 2.0’s, you can combine this with a Five Flags goal or similar or if/when you move out of the Western world. By living in the outer suburbs of an inexpensive, non-Western country, you’ll save massive amounts of cash (which you can put toward your investments) while still living a great lifestyle.

56 Comments on “What Is the Best Part of the City to Live In for Best Dating Effectiveness?

  1. I have a hard time understanding the limit between outer core, suburb and outer subburb.

    In a city of north America that I know well such as Vancouver B.C. and where you have been already, I locate the Vancouver down town core on the semi island, in the surasce delimited between Stanley park and Main street. Tell me if you see it differently.

    Which part are the following (outer core, subburb, outer subburb, else?):
    A – Crossing E 1st Avenue and Commercial Drive.
    B – Crossing E 49th Avenue and Main street.
    C – CF Richmond Centre shopping mall in Richmond B.C.
    D – BCIT: British Columbia Institute of Technology
    E – Port Moody station of the ‘Skytrain’.

    Feel free to use easy to locate places in google maps in any another city if Vancouver is too inconvenient to relate for you.

    Thank you 🙂

  2. If your SMV is high for your age and your game/success rate is decent, I can also recommend staying in the (outer) suburbs of a mediocre town (200-300k inhabitants).
    While your OI/abundance mentality might take a hit, if you are a (young) pleasure of sex guy who only has to refill the rooster a few times a year, there is no need to move to a bigger city. If you at least have a university/college in the city, you’ll have fresh crop every year and have plenty to pick from.
    Hell, I even have a TOTH friend who lives in a 200k city with about a 100 notches in 2 years.
    As long as you are among the top 95% of men, you can get laid almost anywhere.

  3. I have a hard time understanding the limit between outer core, suburb and outer subburb.

    Libremax, I guess we have to read BD’s comments with the knowledge that every city, certainly every big city, is going to have its demographic and geographical oddities. For example, in some cities the same suburb could be said to fall into at least two categories – the part near a main railway station might offer high-density living with plenty of restaurants, bars and people out and about for a social time – almost a mini-city of its own – as well as (importantly) easy access to the city centre proper (downtown), while two or three miles away might be very much suburbia with people living on their quarter-acre blocks of land and driving whenever they want to go anywhere. Cities with complicated geographies (harbours or bays or some areas that are extremely hilly, for example) are also going to be different from places with more straightforward topography, where the types of areas BD describes are much more likely to form simple concentric rings as you go out from the middle of the city. But I think the types of areas that BD describes are pretty accurate, broadly speaking, for most western-style cities that I know.

     

  4. Sweet^^^^^

    I live near two 600 thousand+ cities. Got into a little trouble with boning too many in the same scene but nothing I can’t overcome. This reaffirms I’ll have to get creative check out the other city and stay away from the core etc and spend time in other pockets of town etc

    Hopefully owning my sales job and getting out of debt will put me in a high percentage.

    Thanks!

  5. great article! I love how you broke each area down into pro’s and con’s because every decision is going to be made by the individual and it really does change from city to city. Charleston has some pretty good suburbs and the outer edges of the city aren’t bad either.

    It all gets back to your goals, but there’s definitely something to say about being in the nicer suburbs that are really close to the city core like Mount Pleasant, which is the afflunet burb outside Charleston. You can be in the downtown area in a few minutes, but crime really isn’t a problem here. And the game…plentiful

  6. Live in a small town or city You will run into people you might not want.to see again Frequent the same bars nite clubs pubs shops gyms All it takes is a few dates that don’t work out or a jealous x boyfriend or a crazy girl can make your life hell Plus social media cheers

  7. Using NYC as an example, I’m reading it as:

    City Core: most of Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn, maybe including LIC and Hoboken/Jersey City?

    Outer Core: places like Astoria, Inwood, Park Slope, etc.  Or is this city core and outer core would be like East New York and outer Queens?  And places like Fort Lee in NJ?

    Suburbs: Most of the tri-state area, including Westchester, NJ, Long Island, etc.

    I’m having trouble understanding the delineation between outer suburbs, rural, and boonies.  I’m guessing boonies would be like the Poconos or Adirondacks whereas rural is a lot of upstate NY. And outer suburbs are just the parts of the suburbs that are too far from the city?

    How do you classify places like the Hamptons/Montauk/Fire Island?  In the summer, all of the rich/young people in the city core go there on the weekends.  What about Jersey Shore?  Is that outer suburbs or something else?  Or a non-beach example would be Woodstock/Catskills, Hudson Valley or the Berkshires.  Lots of money/arts/culture and weekenders from NYC.  Is that rural/outer suburbs or something else?

  8. I don’t see much point in living alone in a place bigger than a 45m²/485ft² apartment including one bathroom, one kitchen one living room and one bedroom. I would even say that a 30sqm studio is plenty enough space for me.

    Add to that one additional 12m²/130ft² for each additional person living in (oltr and/or kids for instance). I don’t see the point in more than that.

    I lived 6 years in a 3 bedrooms 85sqm apartment that I still own and now let to people for rent, it’s already too much space alone, even with a live in partner and no kids, it’s one bedroom too much. And if I liked to sleep every night in the same bed of my live in partner then it’s probanly 2 bedrooms too much.. I acrually rented one to 2 bedrooms to other people most of the time (but I would not recommend having flatmates for the Alpha 2.0 lifestyle without OLTR).

    As for a garden I would rather not have one, seems like too much work. I would rather have access to a shared swimming pool in a condo and walking or one short public transport ride to a nice public park.

    My parents have this huge house (maybe 400sqm/4400sqft, probably still average size by north american standards, ), with huge garden (10000sqm/107639sqft), swimming pool, in the rural zone, 1h drive with traffic from Bordeaux city core France. That seems to me like an environmental aberration. Plus they seem to me like slaves of this property in term of cleaning, gardening and maintenance. In term of energy, lot’s of water, electricity and fuel+wood for heating.

    Now the following remarks apply only for someone who has a 100% location independent business life. Let me know if you desagree:

    Driving and owning a car is very expensive, even a cheap car. I mean if the business is truely location independent then you don’t need to go anywhere specific for your work and then in my opinion you just don’t need a car at all. Factor in that money and you can live down town or outer core in a nice place which saves a lot of headhaches and stress logistically for your woman life. As for the pollution, are you taking about the air pollution or other factors? In some cities in north america it is virtually non existent, such as in Vancouver B.C. downtown it seemed like the air was pure enough. In most cities, I agree. But a few decades from now if electric vehicles become mainstream, polution would be no more problem in most city cores than in outer subburb. So I don’t really see the point in having an escape plan from city cores for a man who wants to remain childfree.

    Stress, here again if the business is truely location independent (which is not 100% the case for you BD since you still have to physically meet clients sometimes), I don’t see how living downtown or outer core rises stress levels since anyways you spend most of the time working at home and don’t need to commute to anywhere special for work and if you go anywhere it’s walking distance or mass transport (so less stress, no need to drive in traffic, you can even answer your emails for work on your mobile, or messages for your women life while moving from point A to point B whereas if you drive all this time is totally wasted in just driving).

    In those aspects, and in this specific case where the business is 100% location independent, I question the outer subburb as ideal. It seems to me that outer core without a car is more optimal. I think in your specific case BD you take the advantage of changing state, so different and more advantageous taxes in your state while still being in the outer subburb of the city in the other state. But except from this sweet but oddball case, if one remains in the same state, I think one can manage similar costs of life by removing the car of ones life and just living closer of the core or outer core.

  9. @Roberto
    Yes, I agree with what you are saying. And I am not talking about these kinds of specificities. I am here just trying to grasp the different categories. For me I pecieve only the city core, the subburb, the rural and the boonies. That, ok I get what it is.
    Outer Core, subburb, outer subburb, I cannot wrap my mind arround what we are actually talking about here, I need some examples that I can look in a map. And the whole point of this article revolves arround this subtelity which I just don’t get at all. So I feel I am missing most of the point made. I think where to live is a very important aspect of lifestyle design, so I am eager to understand what Blackdragon has to say about it.

  10. I went from outer burbs to outer core in Chicago.  Outer burbs here are a bit soul crushing and most of the women are either under 18 or over 50.  Anything in between is typically married so it’s tough to meet women.  Now that i’m i the city, it’s been a breeze meeting new girls.  I don’t even do any dating sites or apps-just meeting them out and about, at the gym, etc…   There’s really no “nature” to speak of in the burbs here with just a couple exceptions.  Everything is just far apart, almost everything is a chain and it’s a bitch to get into the city.

    I’ve always been a fan of Boulder since it’s right by the mountains and a quick drive to Denver.  Although it’s a bit too crunchy granola for my taste and seems like the ratios are bad.  I’m big into the outdoors so I’m trying to determine a good option where I’m not totally in the boonies.  I like the idea of being somewhat close to a bigger city, hence the Boulder scenario.

  11. The way I see it for myself:

    I am a nomad, meaning I move to a different city/country every 3 to 9 months. Arround 4 months in average.

    So for the first one to 3 months in a city where I have never been before and where I have 0 ongoing FB or MLTR, I want to be in the city core.

    But after a while, or when I come back in a city I have already lived in before and still have FB and ongoing MLTR ready to fuck, I totally see the point in moving a bit further away from the city core. Just how far away, that’s not clear to me.

  12. @RobertoYes, I agree with what you are saying. And I am not talking about these kinds of specificities. I am here just trying to grasp the different categories. 

    I suspect that the specific areas BD is talking about apply most obviously to many North American cities. The cities I know best (London; Sydney; Copenhagen – admittedly smaller; Paris) don’t really have these sorts of areas so readily defined, or (as in the case of Sydney, perhaps) if they exist then they’re much more mixed up together.

    If I’m spending only a short time somewhere (more than a week or so up to a few months, which has sometimes been somewhere I don’t know well at all) then I’d usually opt for somewhere in the city centre or very close to it to live/stay – suits my lifestyle, and the places I need to go to for work are usually either there or easily accessible from there.  I don’t usually have a car in these short-term arrangements; by being in the middle of town I have access to good public transport and if I want a car (e.g. for a weekend away) I hire/rent one.

    I agree with your comments about the size of the accommodation for short-term use, though two bedrooms are good if it’s not too expensive – I do have friends to stay sometimes. (I don’t mean women I sleep with, but other friends.) However, I agree that’s not essential, and if I’m somewhere where visitors would have to sleep on the sofa and they don’t want to, then that’s their problem.

    But all of this relates to European cities and cities (other than Sydney) in Australia. My limited experience in the US does suggest that one has to be more circumspect about the areas one stays/lives in and visits, and getting around without a car can sometimes be more difficult. There’s often a ring of poverty around the city centre (downtown) in “smaller large cities” in the US, but those rings are disappearing with gentrification. Many have disappeared from when I was a boy travelling with my parents.

  13. Interesting concepts. I live in outer downtown. Here in San Diego, it’s the young promiscuous girls all live in the beach towns. But I have better access to my office and my favorite gym, concert venues etc where I am now.

    Side note: Do you have any beginner investment book recommendations?

  14. If you have made the decision to live in the boonies/rural area, I think serial monogamy starts to make more sense, eh?

  15. In terms of what type of city, the lifestyle I teach works in any Western city (US, Europe, Canada, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, etc), plus most Asian, Russian, and South American cities (albeit with some modifications for some of the more conservative Asian cities).

    I can’t vouch for any cities in regions beyond this

    So you say you can vouch for Russia (including, I assume, other parts of former USSR)? Are you in touch with many Alpha 2.0 men from there?

  16. I can not and will not describe exactly how these six zones apply to specific cities. A) I could be wrong since I don’t know every city on Earth in great detail and B) this thread would turn into a cluster fuck of guys asking me to specifically “zone out” their city. Holy fuck, no thanks.

    I’ve described these six zones to the best of my ability within the space limitations of this blog; if you’re still confused as to how your own city applies, you’ll have to make your best guesses.

    And yes, there are some cities that are odd exceptions where certain zones are missing or in odd places. There are other cities where the zones don’t radiate out from the core in perfect circles, but instead take on really weird shapes.

    Again, I can’t specifically analyze a bunch of different specific cities here. Sorry. Make your best guess.

    Hell, I even have a TOTH friend who lives in a 200k city with about a 100 notches in 2 years.

    I believe it, but I would bet real money that most of those women aren’t anywhere near hot. You can indeed get laid a lot in smaller cities if your standards for hotness drop dramatically. Which is fine if you don’t mind, but I’ve found that my standard for hotness has increased as I’ve become older and more skilled with women, not declined.

    I don’t see much point in living alone in a place bigger than a 45m²/485ft² apartment including one bathroom, one kitchen one living room and one bedroom. I would even say that a 30sqm studio is plenty enough space for me.

    Good. I don’t have large space requirements either.

    The trick is to maintain that desire as you get older and start thinking about pair-bonding with a live-in OLTR or similar. Most women have HUGE space/lifestyle requirements as compared to men, so when you get over age 40 or 50 and start thinking about settling down, limiting these desires becomes a key technique you need to master.

    Stress, here again if the business is truely location independent (which is not 100% the case for you BD since you still have to physically meet clients sometimes)

    To be clear, that meeting local clients thing is rare and represents less than 10% of my income and 4% of my work time. I could dump it at any time (and will). I can be out of the country for a month or longer without any problem.

    I don’t see how living downtown or outer core rises stress levels since anyways you spend most of the time working at home and don’t need to commute to anywhere special for work and if you go anywhere it’s walking distance or mass transport (so less stress, no need to drive in traffic, you can even answer your emails for work on your mobile, or messages for your women life while moving from point A to point B whereas if you drive all this time is totally wasted in just driving).

    It’s not the traffic that causes the stress. (Core dwellers don’t need to worry about traffic; that’s outer core and suburbs people). It’s the overall atmosphere of living in a high-density population area.

    I suppose you could avoid the stress if you literally stayed in your apartment 24/7, literally never left, and had everything delivered. But you’re not going to do that.

    In those aspects, and in this specific case where the business is 100% location independent, I question the outer subburb as ideal. It seems to me that outer core without a car is more optimal.

    I agree with what you said about owning a car, but owning a cheap car and not driving very much equates to using Uber/Lyft/mass transit 100% of the time. Mass transit in the Western world is not inexpensive (that would be Asia).

    So for the first one to 3 months in a city where I have never been before and where I have 0 ongoing FB or MLTR, I want to be in the city core.

    But after a while, or when I come back in a city I have already lived in before and still have FB and ongoing MLTR ready to fuck, I totally see the point in moving a bit further away from the city core.

    I agree completely and think the same way.

    Do you have any beginner investment book recommendations?

    http://www.fool.com

    Here in San Diego

    Ah, San Diego. Best weather of any city in the entire world. I love it there. I’d live there if it weren’t for your ridiculous taxes and lifestyle costs. (And the California senate just passed single payer healthcare! Haha! Get ready for another 15% tax increase!)

    If you have made the decision to live in the boonies/rural area, I think serial monogamy starts to make more sense, eh?

    That’s like saying if you can’t afford normal groceries, eating dog food starts to make more sense, eh?

    So you say you can vouch for Russia (including, I assume, other parts of former USSR)? Are you in touch with many Alpha 2.0 men from there?

    Yes. I wouldn’t say “many” but definitely some. They have to put up with more drama because of the women and the culture though. I always tell these guys to move.

    I think Krauser is in Russia still.

  17. Which is fine if you don’t mind, but I’ve found that my standard for hotness has increased as I’ve become older and more skilled with women, not declined.

    BD, I read an old article where you note that women as they get older raise their demands on men. Might we say that standards for everything are raised as we get older?

    I don’t really like that thought. I’m in my thirties and it hasn’t happened to me yet. Sure, you should have standards, and I do, but I don’t want to get too comfortable.

    In my town (not in the U.S.) a lot of people ride bikes. The streets are made for that. I can get to work in twenty minutes by bike and get some daily exercise that way. Sometimes you will cross the white line that separates the bike section from the pedestrian section of the sidewalk, because of the geography right there – another case of how general rules cannot possibly cover every situation. And in the winter, sometimes you have to do it because of the ice in a particular spot. The ONLY people who complain about this are old people. They seem to grab every excuse to complain loudly at bikes passing by. Never young people, who have more to do in their lives.

    I don’t ever want to become old and set in my ways, so that I complain about people and their actions and can’t abide something not entirely up to my standards. For that reason I often do things I don’t like to do – walking in a part of town I don’t like. Forcing myself to listen to crappy music once in a while. Drink coffee prepared in a way that I don’t like, or pick tea with a bad taste (Rooibos, Oolong) when I’m at a café. Rearrange things in my bathroom cabinet and wardrobe. Anything to make me less comfortable.

  18. BD, I don’t know why you’re letting the cat outta the bag.

    Outer suburbs is prime real estate. Keep this on the down low.
    But I would love to see a whole article dedicated towards this.

    Especially if you’re by the train systems to go down town to go put out a vibe.

    I will never commute for non guaranteed sex.

    I don’t do clubs. Way too loud. It’s not my thing.

    Most forums believe that Game and Game alone will buy them a high rise in the City. While they are taking the bus back home from striking out. Not a good feeling.

    PS: Another great investment site and author is Morningstar.com and anything by Pat Dorsey. He’s on youtube aswell. For anyone who wants to get the Game AND Money.

     

  19. Agreed on San Diego. Love, love love it!

    However, I left So Cal years ago because of the horrible tax climate and nonsensical regulation. There are other more affordable places in the world with weather and scenery just as amazing, where I have a chance against politician pick-pockets.

    As for the rings of centrality described herein, it’s a framework. I know we tend to be more analytical here, but don’t overthink this. It’s a guide to the pros and cons of lifestyle v. cost and problems of choosing a local.

    I’d manage this by arranging my affairs and business to be location independent so that I can bounce between areas. A key ingredient in my Alpha lifestyle is keeping as many options open, women, money and domicile, to plant my flags and maximize my enjoyment. Men should avoid pouring concrete slab foundations and think of life in terms of an RV — something you can drive away at a moment”s notice to enjoy greener pastures.

  20. BD, I read an old article where you note that women as they get older raise their demands on men. Might we say that standards for everything are raised as we get older?

    No, I don’t think so. It mostly depends on the person. I’ve seen guys who have banged a lot of hot babes go the other way and start to “prefer” average-looking women in their older ages.

    The only correlation that I’ve seen is that older men tend to put up with much less drama than younger men. That’s very clear. But beyond that, I’m not sure raising standards is a norm. I think it happens with some men and not others. I’ve raised pretty much all of my standards as I’ve gotten older (not just with women) but I think that’s me.

    BD, I don’t know why you’re letting the cat outta the bag.

    Outer suburbs is prime real estate. Keep this on the down low.
    But I would love to see a whole article dedicated towards this.

    I have a lot to say about real estate, but if I do it will be at my other blog. But you’re correct; outer suburbs is usually the best spot to buy residential real estate in terms of long-term value growth (though there are many exceptions to this).

    I left So Cal years ago because of the horrible tax climate and nonsensical regulation.

    Yup. As beautiful as it is, California is a mini-Europe inside the United States. Great place to visit, but Jesus, don’t live there for the long-term (or worse, get married there; when you get divorced she gets your alimony for the rest of her life, even if you have a prenup).

  21. Black Dragon, I don’t know if you allow people to post off-topic, but I came to think of two things:

    I just read your old article about Scott Adams’ divorce. You know that he is currently seeing the girl from next door, Kristina Basham? She is 28, he is 59. (Or one year older each, some time this year.) She is a smoking hot model with a degree in economics and her own bakery, and she has a daughter. She has a very popular Instagram with 3,800,000 followers. She appeared many times in Scott Adams’ Periscope sessions about the election, such as watching the debates with him – first as his “friend”, later as his girlfriend. She writes lovingly about him on Twitter and on Gab.

    People will say that she is only with him for his money, but she comes from a well-off family and has money of her own. She seems like an intelligent girl and Scott Adams is one of the most interesting people around. Also, he works out and has six-pack abs. (He has joked that he is Mangan’s evil twin: Mangan runs the Rogue Health and Fitness website, and they are about the same age and indeed look very similar.)

    I don’t think they’ll ever get married, especially now that I have learned that Adams was married before. He knows the risks. But I do think they can enjoy many happy years as neighbors and a couple. Really, having sex with a hot girl who lives nearby in a rich neighborhood, and who you don’t have to live with from morning to night but can still see easily – could there be a better arrangement?

     

    The second off-topic issue is a question I came to think of after reading the article about Moore’s and Kutcher’s divorce: Which beneficial thing is politicians more likely to do first, abolish alimony or legalize online prostitution? Hah.

  22. Blackdragon, of course you don’t want to locate each examples given by people in their respective cities. But how about what I proproposed earlier: you take Portland, the closest city core you currently live in, or whatever city you want as example, and name 1 or 2 points, easy to locate in google maps, for each category? Or you draw approximate circles on the map. From a real life example like Portland, it would then be much easier for each of us to extrapolate the areas in any city.

  23. The big, big surprise of this post for me is when you say “yet they’ll still drive out to my house to have sex with me.”  How far are they driving?  45 minutes or more?  I would have guessed that would cut your success rate by 90%.

     

    What about the very first time you have sex with a woman?  Do you usually go to her place if it’s closer?  Isn’t it really difficult to get a woman to go from the date location to your apartment the first time if it entails a 45 minute drive?  Are you each driving in separate cars?  Do they sometimes get second thoughts and turn around, given all that time to think?  Do you do something to keep them distracted or horny during the trip so they don’t snap out of the mood?

     

    I live in the center of downtown, and I rely on being able to have women drop by my apartment on the way to something else to get them comfortable with the idea of being there, then later having a very short trip to return to my apartment so they don’t have time for second thoughts.  I would have guessed that moving to, say, the outer edge of downtown would spoil half my opportunities, and moving to the inner suburbs would cut them down to 10%.  You’re blowing my mind by suggesting otherwise.

     

  24. Hey there BD,

    Could you recommend some relatively “Libertarian friendly” cities in the US? Perhaps a best 5 and worst 5? At least in your opinion. Other commentators feel free to chime in.

    My plan is to move to a “better” city, and then eventually leave the states for a “more free” country.

    And before you ask, I’m working hard on getting the hell outta NYC as soon as possible. Downtown Manhattan is almost like living near an airport. Not good for the heart, literally and metaphorically.

  25. September Skye – Too off topic.

    But how about what I proproposed earlier: you take Portland, the closest city core you currently live in, or whatever city you want as example, and name 1 or 2 points, easy to locate in google maps, for each category?

    No. That would just create more questions. “Well if X neighborhood is in the outer burbs, doesn’t that mean Y neighborhood is too?” Portland is one of those cities were the borders of these zones are really weird; naming one or two points wouldn’t help much.

    The big, big surprise of this post for me is when you say “yet they’ll still drive out to my house to have sex with me.”  How far are they driving?  45 minutes or more?

    Sometimes, yeah. Portland is very spread out.

    I would have guessed that would cut your success rate by 90%.

    No. The Portland area, much like the Seattle and LA area, is a driving culture area. If I lived in Manhattan, then yeah, asking a woman to drive 45 minutes to my house might be a problem. Maybe.

    What about the very first time you have sex with a woman?  Do you usually go to her place if it’s closer?

    No. They come to mine. It’s rare I have first-time sex with a woman at her place.

    Isn’t it really difficult to get a woman to go from the date location to your apartment the first time if it entails a 45 minute drive?

    Not at all. Not in Portland at least.

    Are you each driving in separate cars?

    If she’s coming to my house, she drives her own car. If she has no car, I will pick her up. If we’re driving from a bar on the second date, we’re driving in separate cars back to my place. I’ve done all three.

    Do they sometimes get second thoughts and turn around, given all that time to think?

    No. That has never happened.

    Worst case is that they complain I live to far away and ask to meet me at a bar closer to her place instead. That happens but it’s rare.

    Do you do something to keep them distracted or horny during the trip so they don’t snap out of the mood?

    Huh? No.

    You’re acting as if women are terrified to come to my house. They are not.

    Could you recommend some relatively “Libertarian friendly” cities in the US? Perhaps a best 5 and worst 5? At least in your opinion.

    Not listed in any order:

    Best:

    – Manchester, NH

    – Vegas

    – Miami

    – Anywhere in Washington state far outside of Seattle

    – S. Dakota or Texas are okay

    Worst:

    Just about any other big city in the US, including many states, such as California and New York state.

  26. Your answer about Portland confuses me even more about how to distignuish outer core, suburb and outer suburb.
    It’s the first article I read on this blog that I can’t understand and thus has no possible practical application for me.

    I relate more to this article on this topic by Roosh, but mostly for city core (what he says about day game is still relevant using online game, the approach js just replaced online, just forget the restaurant):
    http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-create-a-local-poosy-playground

    We live in consumerist societies, it seems to me that the best logistical strategy is to live as close as possible from a shopping mall, then a mass transit hub, or at leat a busy or very well known landmark. I get the idea to minimise costs, but living in the suburb and further than walking distance or a 5 minute ride on a motorised vehicle from a shopping mall seems like a terrible idea to me for meeting and fucking women and it probably means that you need a car for everything in your life.

    About uber/taxi, I think in any urban area of the size we refer to in this article more than 400k inhabitants (I am really positive if 1M+ inhabitants), mass transit is enough to do anything if you live un the core (and maybe outer core?) in the UK and Shengen area (Europe). Even more so in former soviet countries like Poland. Possibly in Kiev. I have no clue for Russia. In those places I don’t see why anyone with a 100% location independent business and no kids would need to ride a taxi or uber. Thus the cost of transport is really inferior to having a car, not comparable. And in Asia also as you said.

    Cities in north america are environmental aberrations built arround the very principle of owning a car, I totally get that mass transport is a pain in the ass in your countries, been there done that. I guess it’s the same in central and south america but I have never been there.

  27. You said the women are sometimes 45 minutes away drive from your place, and that sometimes you have to pick them up if they don’t have a car. Does that mean you ever had to drive 45 minutes to pick up the girl, then 45 minutes to drive her to your house, then fuck her, then drive again 45 minutes to drop her, then 45 minutes back to your home???
    That would be 3 hours drive for one fuck session with a girl you already fucked before!
    God kill me! Fucking nightmare.

  28. http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/06/the-true-cost-of-commuting/

    This article talks about the cost of commuting but the same applies to driving for your women area of life. Keep in mind that with smartphones one can remain productive in online business and/or online dating while being transported from point A to B with mass transport.

    Designing one’s life to be close as possible to be totally car free is a significant gain of time and money. I get that you are deeply engrossed in a car driving culture, especially in the west coast of the USA.

    I love cars. I enjoy speed and race driving. During 13 years, I used to have a car and to need it for almost everything in my life. Yet, getting rid of it was so liberating.

  29. I get the idea to minimise costs, but living in the suburb and further than walking distance or a 5 minute ride on a motorised vehicle from a shopping mall seems like a terrible idea to me for meeting and fucking women and it probably means that you need a car for everything in your life.

    Correct. That’s the big downside of living in the suburbs. You’ll need a car.

    About uber/taxi, I think in any urban area of the size we refer to in this article more than 400k inhabitants (I am really positive if 1M+ inhabitants), mass transit is enough to do anything if you live un the core (and maybe outer core?) in the UK and Shengen area (Europe). Even more so in former soviet countries like Poland. Possibly in Kiev. I have no clue for Russia. In those places I don’t see why anyone with a 100% location independent business and no kids would need to ride a taxi or uber. Thus the cost of transport is really inferior to having a car, not comparable.

    Possibly. We’d have to really analyze some hypothetical and come up with a specific budget, but you might be right. Certainly core dwellers wouldn’t need Uber. Outer core dwellers might not, but sometimes they may.

    You said the women are sometimes 45 minutes away drive from your place, and that sometimes you have to pick them up if they don’t have a car. Does that mean you ever had to drive 45 minutes to pick up the girl, then 45 minutes to drive her to your house, then fuck her, then drive again 45 minutes to drop her, then 45 minutes back to your home???
    That would be 3 hours drive for one fuck session with a girl you already fucked before!
    God kill me! Fucking nightmare.

    I have done that before, but that scenario is very rare. If they live that far away and have no car, they need to find other transportation to or from my house, unless they want to be a very infrequent back-up FB.

    Designing one’s life to be close as possible to be totally car free is a significant gain of time and money.

    I agree 100%. When I move out of the country I’m going to do my best to not own any cars. We’ll see if I can pull it off.

  30. BD, do you have any thoughts on how an Alpha 2.0 should handle situations of hostility where there’s a risk of physical escalation ? I imagine it falls under the 2% rule but I’d still assume a 2.0 would have some guidelines about what frame to hold/ what actions to take when someone attempts bullying them or threatening them with violence (including when the culprit is, say, a cockblocker on a date for eg, but not limited to that).
    Sorry it’s off topic, but I was gonna request an article about it and felt the answer would probably be too simple for a full article.

  31. BD, do you have any thoughts on how an Alpha 2.0 should handle situations of hostility where there’s a risk of physical escalation ?

    Unless you do night game that’s 2% stuff, and that’s pushing it. Even in night game, its not really a thing, unless you are in some giant club. Then yeah, its something to worry about. But is an alpha 2 really gonna go to a giant club?

    what frame to hold/ what actions to take when someone attempts bullying them or threatening them with violence (including when the culprit is, say, a cockblocker on a date for eg, but not limited to that).

    PUAs (ESPECIALLY RSD) would say just stick around and troll the dude. Roosh and his ilk would say kick his ass. To me that isn’t Alpha 2 at all. An alpha 2 would just walk away. Alpha 2s don’t deal with drama, much less drama from people he doesn’t even know. Pretty sure BD would be saying the same.

    With online dating as great as it is right now and with night game slowly being scrutinized by women’s movement groups, night game tbh isn’t really the best way to get chicks anymore.

  32. – Miami

    MIA is a good Libertarian city? From what I hear most from there are committed to liberal agendas and practice white guilt quite often. Hell being white in MIA is like being black in Jacksonville pretty much. I was raised in South Florida, I always got a leftist vibe from the area. Their main newspapers spew liberal agendas like crazy.

    I dunno, I’d like to think the north central areas of FL are more Libertarian friendly, like anywhere north of Orlando/Daytona.

  33. Gill Galad – Too off topic.

    MIA is a good Libertarian city?

    As compared to other American cities, yes (which isn’t saying much). Zero income tax, very low sales tax, low property taxes outside of the rich areas, lots of right-wing Cubans keeping the usual liberalism in check, etc.

  34. Wow, thank you for something that did not make sense to me for a while.  The population number/geographic angle.  It explains so many things that I experienced when in the prime dating years and why as I push the reset button, I need to treat this place where I live as my outer suburb but sample from a 30 to 45 minute drive time community where the options are.  Yes, I purchased and paid off the house here and the taxes and costs are so dirt cheap.  I could not live in someone’s laundry room for what it costs for me to keep the place.  Yet something in my mind has kept telling me to use it as a base and sample from elsewhere which is Manhattan for me.  Was toying with options such as selling it and going where a place can be purchased for one sixth the price, but concerned that it is going to an area where the options for business and dating are slim.  Currently exploring home-based business/location independent.

    It is amazing but as I grew up in this community it grew from 250K to 300K to i think 400K now.  Consequently I saw a very parochial, drama, no options, rather ugly scene and now watch the newer generation have some good times.  The place is almost like its own city and once tried to vote to become one.  Amazing.

    Read your book and it really contains a lot of excellent, immediately applicable advice.  This last article  puts all of the pieces in place and is such a key component that I think that it must be in your top five articles and highlighted in revisions of your book.  Funny, but my advice to frustrated young men in my community and similar ones elsewhere was always to move away to fix their problems with females and get close to a city.  I could not for my own reasons.  It seems like something happens to people and females in this post good America era when the community is too small.  Lots of other things get worse too.  A lot of aspects of life used to really suck around here, too much to write.  It is like a lack of energy and competition and self-reinforcing BS/drama.  Got my theories about how the dynamic works, maybe will write them down.

    Thanks again, your population/geographic thing is an indicator that works astonishingly well.  will definitely look you up for private and business consulting as things spin up again.

  35. 3 hours drive for an irregular FB back up, this is a good measurement of you sex DRIVE!

    I guess we could measure the sex drive of a man by how much time he is willing to drive just to fuck a FB. I think my sex drive is currently only 1 hour and 30 minutes drive maximum. Maybe I will make an exception for a subjective HB10 (we are talking statistically about 1 young woman out of 10000 or more young women), who is also a subjective 10 in term of sex and sensuality (statistically I felt this kind of chemistry with arround 5% of the women I fucked, but most were not HB10) and I didn’t have to do that in the last 5 years.

    And 99% of the time, women I already fucked one time come at the mall, 5 minute walk from my place. Or they come directly to my place, but I actually prefer them to not get this habit, and prefer to go get them at the nearby shopping mall, just walking of course.

    Often, I go to the mall after they text me that they are on their way. I go inside the supermarket and buy some groceries that I need. They meet me inside the supermarket or at the cashier. And I walk them back home with my groceries 🙂

  36. Also as a middle way alternative, for driving culture places such as the west coast of the USA, I would consider driving a cheap scooter with all the protective pants, jacket and helmet. One where I can fit a spare hemlet in the under seat compartment, so that I can drive a woman with me if necessary.

    I think I would be as mobile if not more as with a car for a fraction of the cost. But I couldn’t do that in a place where winter freezes the road or snow. (I don’t want to have to deal with such cold weather anyways).

    I expect that in a few decades autonomous vehicles will completely change the way transportation functions and some of these discussions may become totally irrelevant. I expect a lot of autonomous minivans driving up to 15 or 20 seated people to go virtually anywhere 24/7 up to the rural area, for sure up to the suburbs (think about vehicles the size of songtaews in thailand or jeepneys in Philippines, just closed and with seats more like minivans/V-hire/GT-express). And I expect the cost to be way much closer to mass transportation than uber currently is.

    I expect this tramsformation to severely decrease further the possibility of long time truly monogamous relationship, because of the decrease in logistical constraints. Possibly as drastic as online dating.

  37. Please do a ‘rural alpha 2.0”. Many pua companys limit the locale where they hold boot camps, but extoll that geography/locale doesn’t matter. It does.

  38. I sense a caveat is needed: this is relative.

    For example, I live part time in Montreal. Downtown. Right next to one of the best, most sought after locations for a serious discount. I just got banged by a babe earlier today; my friend Lion got two bjs from two different women at a my last party. This location is A List awesome. Between currency arbitrage, aforementioned amenities and negotiations, my penthouse is perfect.

    But…

    I’ve been coming here for a decade, speak French and know the city. You haven’t, you can’t and you don’t. As a result, you would find this city to be a pain in the ass, but I’m typing this with a French pop festival going on in my front yard.

    So frankly, listen to the man. Until you get a sense of absolute certainty and a reservoir of experience, you don’t know what you don’t know. This is a rock solid breakdown of city structure and opportunity.

    If I did not have the place I do or if I were to relocate, this is exactly the strategy I would use.

  39. Please do a ‘rural alpha 2.0”.

    Ok. I’ll consider it.

    Many pua companys limit the locale where they hold boot camps, but extoll that geography/locale doesn’t matter. It does.

    Yep, absolutely it does. That PUA marketing stuff goes along with the overall message of “you can fuck ANYONE!” and “all women are the same!” etc. Geography, race, age, etc, these things all make a difference.

  40. As a core+outer core dweller for the past 15+ years – in a major city with more than 15 mi people – I pretty much agree with your article.

    To me the main problem is just the noise…its absolutely non-stop urban noise from working hours till late in the evening – every single day, including weekends. Better windows and thicker walls can mitigate (but not erase) this effect because, as you said, living in a high density area for too long will get you sick for sure!

    My plan is to move further away from the core on the next 3-4 years and stay a bit more “‘alone” during my working hours.

     

     

  41. Interesting ideas.

    Personally for me, I’m moving from the ‘outer core’ (city neighborhood) to ‘inner core’ (near downtown).

     

    A few things:

    1. Yes city rents are expensive. However, not needing a car in Chicago or NYC is a significant expense saved. I spend $75 a month (after tax shelter) for unlimited public transit.

    2. After I move downtown, I’ll be 2 minutes from the gym, 3 minutes from the grocery store (on foot). I’ll be 15 minutes from my office (yes it would be better to work for yourself, but that’s a work in progress). Some of the surburb guys here burn 3+ hours a day on commute time. Time = money.

     

    The air quality is definitely shit. The price? You can find some deals on places if you’re good at hunting around and super-fast on the trigger.

  42. @joelsuf:

    PUAs (ESPECIALLY RSD) would say just stick around and troll the dude. Roosh and his ilk would say kick his ass. To me that isn’t Alpha 2 at all. An alpha 2 would just walk away. Alpha 2s don’t deal with drama, much less drama from people he doesn’t even know. Pretty sure BD would be saying the same.

    This is why I almost never use manosphere terminology. People start defining this or that word. Think more about what should be done. If someone starts acting aggressive toward me, no, I won’t slink away so I can feel that I secretly won a moral victory the bully and the girl next to me don’t know about.

    @BD:

    Yep, absolutely it does. That PUA marketing stuff goes along with the overall message of “you can fuck ANYONE!” and “all women are the same!” etc. Geography, race, age, etc, these things all make a difference.

    You know a PUA or manosphere guru is only looking for followers/donations, when he tells you that looks don’t matter, dress doesn’t matter, age doesn’t matter, money and a job don’t matter, your home doesn’t matter, car or not doesn’t matter, having friends or not doesn’t matter, etc. Yes, any particular obstacle can be overcome. But let’s not deny that there are obstacles.

    Worst of all is someone telling you that all you need is the right attitude. Not even practical game advice – just attitude. “You need a Zero Fucks Given attitude! Show that it’s my way or the highway. She may say that she hates your attitude, but as we all know when a girl says she hates you it means she is attracted to you. Hate means she’s got the tingles in her vagina.”

    (Why not just punch women at random then, that should really impress.)

    This pleases a certain crowd of permanent forum dwellers, because it’s easy: You don’t need to actually do anything. In fact, any sort of improvement means you are trying too hard, and that’s what BETAS do. A lack of effort, on the other hand, shows that you know you don’t HAVE to do anything to get women, and that proves your unseen value must be through the ROOF.

    Except that hot girls are approached by guys acting cocky all the time. It’s not new. The world isn’t divided into a small group of manosphere-reading alphas, and the great mass of betas looking at their shoes. A good piece of manosphere advice given in the past was “Women can smell bullshit a mile away,” but that seems impopular now.

    I have read the manosphere for many years, and there has been some excellent advice that I have used to great benefit. But some things are crowd-pleasing nonsense. This more abstract, less practical advice seems to increase when a writer grows older and stops dating. You can really tell the difference.

    And this doesn’t even mention “hypergamy”. Seems especially Rollo can’t write a post without talking about ever-present hypergamy. “Women can’t feel love, only men can feel love. To a woman you’re just a wallet. When you’re out with your girlfriend she’s always looking over your shoulder for something better, and she’ll drop you in an instant when she finds it,” goes the attitude.

  43. And this doesn’t even mention “hypergamy”. Seems especially Rollo can’t write a post without talking about ever-present hypergamy. “Women can’t feel love, only men can feel love. To a woman you’re just a wallet. When you’re out with your girlfriend she’s always looking over your shoulder for something better, and she’ll drop you in an instant when she finds it,” goes the attitude.

    I generally like Rollo (though his writing style is radically different than mine), but yes, the manosphere is consumed with certain hot-button, right-wingish topics such as hypergamy and SMV. As I’ve said so many times, these things are real and affect society, but they don’t have to affect you as an individual if you don’t want them to and you’re willing to put in a little work. If you never plan on getting traditionally, legally, monogamously married and having that marriage last forever, then hypergamy doesn’t really apply to you, for example.

  44. I don’t think there’s anything particularly right-wing about that. If anything most conservatives pedestalize their wives and tell men to shut up and suck it up when they seek advice for relationship problems online.

    “It’s up to her if she wants to date you or not, don’t try to manipulate her with that crap. Just ask her straight like a MAN and wait for her decision.”
    “She’s getting fat? You married her, so now it’s your duty to MAN UP. She’s beautiful on the inside, that’s what matters.”
    “Not your kid? The boy is innocent, so MAN UP and take care of him.”

    “Cause that’s how you talk to a woman, that’s how you speak to a girl, That’s how you get with a lady who’s worth more than anything in your whole world, You better respect your mama, respect the hell out of her, ‘Cause that’s how you talk to a woman and that’s how you speak to a girl

    A young guy asking tradcons for advice gets his head ripped off by all the white knights who want to impress the women in the forum. Same if you go to a teen forum dominated by liberals, like GirlsAskGuys. The manosphere does a valuable job in puncturing this pedestalizing. It’s just that things can go overboard in the other direction.

  45. You don’t need to actually do anything. In fact, any sort of improvement means you are trying too hard, and that’s what BETAS do.

    This is true up to a certain extent/for certain guys. Women can definitely be attracted to you if you’re a loser/thug/serial killer what have you, but as BD aptly recommends you should be improving yourself to make yourself happy not like most men who only do it because they feel they need to in order to get women.

  46. @Duke

    It isn’t true for any guys. “Women can definitely be attracted to you if you’re a loser/thug/serial killer” What women? Do all women like trash? No, women hate losers and they hate thugs. Unless you’re planning on getting a hood rat – and even they have their standards. And only a small, disturbed category of women writes to serial killers in prison, despite what a certain manosphere guru might think.

    “you should be improving yourself to make yourself happy not like most men who only do it because they feel they need to in order to get women” – Do they? Most men? No. Most men have goals in life, for which improvement is necessary. Most men don’t improve just to get women – what an accusation against men!

    But we should also improve to get women. Not for one bit do I like the fearful talk I see in some forums, by those who don’t dare admit that yes, we do want women enough to improve and change what needs to be changed.

    Comments like, “At first it seems like this is just about getting women, but it’s so much more! It’s about being a better man!” So cowardly. When a guy goes to a PUA forum, he goes there to get dating tips, period. And there is nothing wrong about that. Other things can also be discussed but they come in a distant second place.

  47. @LibreMax

    Metro Place-Des-Arts or Complex Desjardins – I’m next to one of the four metro entrances (handy in bad weather) and I can see Complex Desjardins from where I am writing this (think multi-story shopping mall with theaters, doctors’ offices, grocery stores, the provincial liquor store SAQ, etc.) It is above and below ground and a key part of the Underground City.

    You will still have to PUWWS (Put Up With Women’s… “Stuff”), but handling that is one of the main purposes of this blog. For example, I got the “I’m not ready for sex yet but we can hang out” (translation: “I don’t want to be a slut”) just this weekend. Did a version of a soft next (“not a problem, I’m tired anyway – why don’t we reschedule?”) and was banging her the next day.

    Again, I don’t disagree with the general rule regarding location at all, I just got lucky and found a great deal with an amazing location. So, this just works for me. This city is not a driver city like Denver, Miami or the hell that is Atlanta. More people ride bikes, skateboards or walk than people drive in the core. The city heavily invested in public transport and a city wide bike rental system; crime is lower and women outnumber men.

    You could do the same thing in the area recommended and for less money, but with over 500 road construction projects going on, make sure you are near a great metro station. The nightlife is amazing and the summer has more festivals, concerts and events than you can attend.

    Everything you have heard about winter though, is absolutely true: several feet of snow and ridiculously cold. Which is why a) I have a beach condo on an island in Florida, and; b) I only have to walk across the street to go into the Underground City. Note: (a) was one of the core exceptions listed in the article.

  48. @LibreMax

    I think what you pointed out about autonomous driving vehicles is pretty accurate: they are a total game changer. For everything.

    In fact, I would go as far as to say that disruptive technology will most likely result in capitalism and libertarianism becoming relics of the 20th century.

    For thousands of years, technology benefitted “horse technology”: saddle, bridle, bit, and especially stirrups. As late as 1944, horses were still one of the most important parts of military logistics. The collapse of the Falaise Gap in WWII is known more for the fact that over 50,000 horses died than for anything else.

    Today? Horses aren’t needed, their raw numbers have collapsed, and relatively few take part in the economy.

    Autonomous driving vehicles could unemploy up to 40% of the men in the world over the next decade and a half; other technologies will do the same. Obviously, this will impact every business on the planet and most certainly affect where you and I will live. We have seen the Attention Whoring Device…, sorry, “smartphone”, completely alter gender relations in ways which were never imagined just a decade ago.

  49. @joelsurf

    You have just described my image of Hell itself: Trump Red Florida. Just as you are from South Florida, I am from Northwest Florida where the cows wear bikinis and sun themselves on the coastal beaches. These places you speak of – Lake County, near Orlando; Clay County, south of Jacksonville or Walton County (Destin/Sandestin) are NOT libertarian, they are authoritarian. You really understand this after you’ve been stopped for bogus reasons in Backwards County, your vehicle has been searched for non-existent drugs, and you are left on the side of the road with your vehicle completely trashed and damaged from the “lawful search for contraband”.

    Then there is the toxic culture.

    Country music, 30-50 year old Classic Rock (with no relief or variety) in every bar (especially NWF beach bars), creepy right wing “you’re going to burn in Hell for ______” billboards on I-10 from JAX to PNS, and small minded small townishness that is so far behind the time, some school boards want speaking in tongues to count as a foreign language credit in high school.

    Joel, I’ve lived in Florida my whole life (including South Florida) and have travelled the state since childhood. All 67 counties and I don’t mean riding through on the Interstate: Get out of Florida if you can.

    For everyone else, don’t even go to vacation. The beaches are not worth it – precisely why I spend most of my time in Montreal and am replacing my beach condo with someplace in South or Central America. The last paragraph in the article is a powerful piece of advice.

  50. @Duke Royal

    I was looking in the map of Montréal, your place is in what BD refers as the ‘city core’, isn’t it?

  51. “I have a hard time understanding the limit between outer core, suburb and outer subburb.
    In a city of north America that I know well such as Vancouver B.C. ”
    I’m in Toronto.  Downtown is where rent is $1k minimum, you can walk practically anywhere and get food in a few minutes, entire shopping centers can be a 5 min walk away and you live nearest to the biggest attractions possible.  Outer core where rent is barely below $1k, you need a 10 min walk to get any food, 15-20 min walk for a shopping area and you take the subway for attractions.  Suburb and beyond u need a car and a drive before to buy anything.
    Vancouver ain’t that different from Toronto.  It’s many, many times smaller.

  52. Thanks Steve 🙂

    Here is the kind of autonomous vehicles in shape that I was referring to:
    http://navya.tech/

    I’ll probably open a thread for real life examples about this geographic topic in the Alpha 2.0 forums, if that’s not already done.

  53. If a main objective is living somewhere to meet women, then suburbs suck. In suburbs there is not many single women around, there is very high property and school taxes, there is many beta guys and tons of little kids, there’s neighbors with binoculars who are constantly gossiping about other neighbors, you can’t play music loud, there’s cops driving by so often it’s like a jail, can’t have parties without getting turned in, house repairs are often thousands of dollars a year, can’t do intimate things with the windows open or even with the windows closed, kids running around all over the place, and can’t go outside topless (and do other intimate things) in your own backyard. Better options are living near a medium sized city if things are within walking distance, or there are some areas around a ten minute drive from a city where there’s not many neighbors around.

    Eventually, I’m going to have a place mostly for storage in a no/low income tax state (not Florida) to visit a few months in the summer, then live most of the rest of the year in another country with some traveling.

  54. I just scored an awesome spot in San Francisco’s outer core that is both cost-effective and has access to tons of women, using this simple trick: Ask your MLTRs.

    The house I’m moving into is basically an adult party house. Alcohol/420/”other” friendly, and several hot, young DTF chicks living there. It’s perfect for my lifestyle, and going through my MLTR made everything easy because she’s mutual friends with all of us and could vouch for personality/sexual chemistry matches on both sides. I didn’t even have to ask her what the girls looked like, because she knows my type and I knew I could trust her recommendation.

     

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