You Don’t Need To Date Lots of Women!
One of the complaints I hear from men about the lifestyle structure I advocate is particularly irritating because it criticizes a position that I don’t have, have never had, and have never stated. Indeed, I have stated the opposite many times, yet still some guys can’t get it through their thick heads.
This complaint usually takes one of the following forms:
“I don’t want to date lots of girls. That takes too much time.”
“Blackdragon, your Alpha 2.0 lifestyle is hedonistic. I’m not like that. I don’t need to be banging tons of girls all the time.”
“Blackdragon thinks sex is the most important thing in life. It’s not!”
“I tried Blackdragon’s relationship system, and I fucked tons of girls, and I hated it.”
“You know, not everyone can go out and fuck tons of hot chicks all the time.”
“I’m not going to spend hours a day dating six different women! I have better things to do!”
The incorrect, and frankly stupid implication in the above statements is that I tell men to go out and “fuck a lot of girls.”
I have never said this.
Seriously. Go back through my archive and find where I said you need to fuck a lot of girls, or date a lot of girls. You won’t find it, because I’ve never said it.
Go ahead. Prove me wrong. Go check. It’s okay, I’ll wait.
I have said that in order to be successful at dating, you need to put in the numbers. I’ve said that many times, and it’s true. But that’s in reference to approaches or openers, not women you have sex with. If you want to have sex with one new girl via online dating, just one, you might have to send out as much as 120-350 openers, particularly if you’re new at this. Putting in the numbers means lots of openers/approaches to overcome the numbers game that is dating in the modern era. But putting in the numbers does not mean fucking lots of girls.
I have said that monogamy is stupid and doesn’t work in today’s Western world, and I advocate a nonmonogamous lifestyle where you have sex with more than one woman on at least a semi-regular basis. BUT! The key phrase in that sentence is “more than one.” For some bizarre reason, lots of guys read the words “more than one” and interpret that as “many.”
No! Listen to me very carefully:
“More than one” means two or more. Two is more than one. Two is not “many.” Two women is not “lots of girls.” Two women is not “hedonistic.” Two women is not “tons of chicks.” Two women is not placing sex as the “most important thing in life.” Two women is just two women. If you think two women is “a lot of women,” then with all due respect, you are retarded.
As I’ve said many times, all most men need is one MLTR or OLTR and one FB on the side. That’s just two women. You only need to have sex with the side-FB once every 4-6 weeks. That’s it. That is not a lot of women to have sex with, but it still qualifies as nonmonogamy. As long as you have at least two women, even if the second woman you don’t see that often, then congratulations, you are following my advice.
I have said those exact words on websites all over the internet perhaps hundreds of times, yet for some reason, some of you simply either can’t interpret those words due to low reading comprehension, or you are so irrational about this issue that you don’t want to understand those words.
YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH LOTS OF WOMEN. YOU DO NOT NEED TO DATE LOTS OF WOMEN. TWO IS ALL YOU NEED.
Got that? I’m about to expand on this idea a little bit, but before I do, I need to make sure you understand what I just said, and don’t forget it.
Hey, I wouldn’t have to be this empathic and repetitive if there weren’t so many guys misinterpreting my advice.
So let me say it one more time:
I have never advocated for men to go out and “fuck lots of girls.” NO WHERE in my blogs or books have I ever said this. I have only advocated for nonmonogamy, which can mean just TWO girls. TWO girls is not a lot. It’s just two.
Okay, now that we’ve cleared that up, I’ll give you a little more detail on my thoughts regarding the number of women you can or should have in your life.
Two women is plenty for a lot of men. However, some men may want more. This is fine. Historically, I’ve been most happy with three women who are at least semi-regular, but that’s just me. While three women is more than two, three women is still not “a lot.” It’s just three. I chose three as my favorite number many years ago for these reasons:
1. It’s manageable. Having more than three women as FB’s or MLTR’s is a decent amount of work, but having three isn’t too bad.
2. It’s reliable. Even if one woman is sick, or unavailable, or does a LSNFTE, I’m still covered with two. This gives me plenty of time to go get a third (usually via resurrecting a woman from my old list).
3. To me, having two women is too close to monogamy. Again, this is just my personal opinion and I’m not recommending a technique here. If I had just two women, and one left, I’d be instantly de facto monogamous, and that’s way too dangerous for both my frame and my sex life. To me, three is better than two since if one leaves, I’m still not in monogamy zone (which women always do eventually, but 94% come back, so it’s not a big deal).
Again though, this “three figure” is just me. Two might be perfectly fine with you. That’s great, go for it!
Also, some of you guys may think two or three women isn’t enough. Maybe you’re a young guy focused on getting laid right now. Maybe you’re an older guy who just got divorced and is super hungry like I was after mine. That’s fine. If you want to date four, five, six, or even more women at a time, that’s fine, go right ahead. Just remember that’s not what I’m recommending. I’m just recommending more than one, which means two or more. The exact number is completely up to you, based on your age, personality, lifestyle, and where you currently are in your life.
On the flip side, I have said before that I think having a goal like “I want to fuck 100 girls” is a little silly. So you bust your ass for several years at the clubs and on Tinder and you fuck 100 girls. Okay, so what? Then what? These notch count goals, so popular with young PUA guys, are unfulfilling, short term objectives that don’t really lead to anything worthwhile, at least in my opinion.
I have never set a goal to fuck X number of women. My goal, so many years ago, was to get laid whenever I wanted, as fast as I wanted (by sending a few texts and that’s it) with attractive women, at least three times a week, without having to promise anyone monogamy, and without having to pay hookers.
I hit that goal many years ago, and now, that condition is a normal and regular part of my life. Once you have two or more FB’s / MLTR’s, and you know how to go get new women relatively quickly, you’re good to go. My point is that there was never any numerical amount of women I needed to have sex with. I just had sex with as many women as I needed in order to hit that goal.
Granted, over the last ten years of living this lifestyle, I’ve had sex with a large number of women, but quantity of women was never the goal. Frequent, nonmonogamous sex was. Nonmonogamous was a requirement of the frequent sex, since monogamous guys only get a lot of sex during NRE. Once NRE is over, they either have to suffer through reduced sex, or go cheat (which means they aren’t monogamous anymore), or take the time and effort to go find a new girl. Yuck, no thanks.
Today, I have sex with more than one woman on a regular basis, but not “a lot” of women. I don’t want to have sex with a lot of girls, and never have. I just want a lot of sex (and from women who are attractive). I have my girlfriend (OLTR) who I see twice a week, who is very important to me, and who I plan on being with for a very long time. I also have a few sporadic FB’s on the side. My goal is to have just one semi-regular, but very reliable FB and one more distant, sporadic “backup” FB in case the main FB becomes unreliable or does a LSNFTE. So we’re back to my magic number, three. Just three. Actually, it’s more like “two plus a backup.”
I have said before that if I just had sex with two women for the rest of my life (both of whom never left and never got fat) that would be plenty. I stand by that statement. (The only reason I need pickup skills is that sadly, women tend to eventually either leave or get fat. It’s just how they work in the Western world.)
That’s all I need. I think two or three is fine for most men. Two or three isn’t “lots.”
The next time you ever see someone post anywhere on the internet that my system isn’t a good one because I tell men to “fuck lots of girls” or “date lots of girls,” hit him over the head with a link to this article. I never said that. I don’t believe that. I never will.
I hope you guys get this.