Dating Trends I’ve Noticed in the Last 10 Years
A few months ago, I celebrated my ten year anniversary as an unmarried Alpha Male 2.0. It has also been about eight years since I professionally started this Blackdragon endeavor as a dating and relationship advisor to men.
Ten years is a long time… ten years of dates, women, nonmonogamous relationships, and communicating with literally thousands of men all over the world on these topics (as well as with women too). Today, I will go through some of the big changes and trends I’ve noticed in the dating and relationship world, as I compare things from 2007-2010 to today, 2017.
Some of these trends will be obvious to the typical person, though many will not be. I have no idea if these trends are truly global, or throughout the West, or if they will continue into the future (though I can make some educated guesses). I’m just noting the changes I’ve seen with men and women based on my own experiences and the men and women I’ve talked to over the last ten years or so.
Here we go…
More Older Men, Younger Women Relationships
This one is the result of other trends I’ll cover in a minute. I am seeing way more older men, younger women relationships everywhere I look. Back in 2007, these were around, but reasonably rare. They’re still rare as compared to greater society, but they are much more common today than I ever thought they would be.
This is very interesting, since as the culture moves further to the political left, more and more Western countries and districts are actually raising the age of consent, because, according to all these left-wing over-33 women, 17 year-old women having voluntary sex with 25 year-old men (or older) is clearly evil and wrong and Must Be Stopped™.
It will be very interesting to watch these two conflicting sources do battle over the next few decades, Type 2 VYW and the men who love them vs. angry, left-wing, older women who have the backing of both government and the growing cultural zeitgeist.
Older Guys Stupidly Getting Serious With Women Who Are Way Too Young
Likely a result of the above trend, in the last few years I’ve seen a massive upswing in the number of older men (men in their 30’s to 50’s) getting into very serious relationships (with long-term expectations) with women who are as young as 18 to 22. Usually these relationships are monogamous. Many times they move in together.
As I talked about here, this is utterly stupid. If you want to have sex with younger women, by all means go for it. But, Jesus you idiots, getting into a serious relationship with a woman that young, with long-term expectations, particularly the expectations of any kind of monogamy or exclusivity, is one of the dumbest things older men do.
Look pal, that 20 year-old girlfriend you just moved in with is a teenager. It doesn’t matter if she’s over 19. If she’s about age 22 or under, she’s a teenager. Do you seriously expect a fucking teenager to do what she promises over the long haul? Do you seriously expect her to not fuck other guys? Do you seriously expect her to not just bail on you whenever she gets bored?
Hell, it’s hard enough for women in their 30’s and 40’s to not do these things! By getting into this kind of relationship with a god damn teenager, you’re asking, nay, BEGGING for a huge pile of future problems.
I keep seeing older guys do this, and it’s not good. If you want to have fun with younger women, keep them as FB’s. If you want something more serious or long-term, keep it to women a little older, ideally age 25 and above.
Women Being Much More Open to Open Relationships and/or Polyamory
Now this is a good trend, and one I predicted a long time ago, that I’m happy turned out to be accurate. Way back in 2007 and 2008 when I was first getting started with this stuff, if you even hinted at a nonmonogamous relationship with a woman, she would be horrified, like you just slapped her in the face. This was even true of younger women in their 20’s. Creating and navigating FB’s, MLTR’s and OLTR’s was somewhat difficult and you had to be extremely careful.
Today? Not a problem. Some women still get horrified of course, but many of them react with a shrug. This is because at least some of their friends or family have tried it, or they’ve at least heard about it. Don’t get me wrong; nonmonogamy is still out of the comfort zone of the vast majority of people out there, but the knee-jerk revulsion that existed ten years ago is now much less common. Women are much more open to this now. Thank goodness.
As monogamy becomes increasingly impossible, expect this trend to strengthen and continue.
Online Dating Is Now Mainstream
An obvious one, but an interesting one. Back in 2008 when I first started talking about online dating on PUA forums, “online game” was a very new and very controversial concept. Night game was king, and night game PUA gurus were enraged that people were even talking about the internet as an option to get laid. Online dating was “for pussies” and “didn’t work” and “wasn’t real game” and “didn’t count.” Sex only “counted” if you cold approached a woman in real life. If you fucked 40 women from online dating sites, that didn’t count and no one should listen to you, because you had no game. (Yes, they really said this!) And you were probably lying, since only “hot guys” or guys who spent piles of money on women could get laid with online game. (Yes, they really said this!)
Oh, how things have changed.
In reality, things were the exact opposite. Online dating back in the mid to late 2000’s was a shooting gallery of easy sex. It’s harder now (though still workable if you do the right things), but back then, response rates were sky-high, even on “harder” dating sites like Match.com. MySpace later came online and made things even easier. Because it was new, it was easy.
As with all new dating technologies, eventually online dating went through the five phases. Today, online dating isn’t as easy as it was ten years ago, but if you are patient and do everything correctly, you can still get laid with a constant stream of new women.
Men Are Much More Angry
I don’t really need to talk about this since I’ve already discussed this topic in great detail in posts like these:
Men all over the Western world are far angrier about women, dating, relationships, and marriage than they ever were ten years ago. Sadly, I think this trend will increase. Instead of adjusting their approach to women and long-term relationships to reflect new norms, men are instead choosing to scream their heads off in hysterical anger, trying to time warp the entire world back to the 1950’s (the alt-right) or sit on their fat asses and rely on government to fix all of their problems (progressives). Both of these are losing propositions in the long-term.
Man, good thing I walk a different path.
Men have now broken themselves out into the six categories I described here. Only one is conducive to long-term happiness; the rest are not.
Sugar Daddy Game Is Gaining Momentum
I wrote about the sugar daddy phenomenon here (though it’s a little dated now) and have an entire updated how-to chapter on sugar daddy game in this book. Because of worsening economic conditions, higher inflation, the rising cost of useless, rip-off college degrees, the high number of single mothers, and the increasing number of older men with money getting divorced or cheating on their wives (since monogamy doesn’t work), there’s been a huge upswing in sugar daddy relationships, to the point now where it’s almost considered not quite mainstream, but more like “unusual but common.”
Married guys are recommending sugar daddy game to their other married buddies. Young hot college students are recommending it to their friends. It’s becoming normal.
I predict that as the West continues to decline, sugar daddy game someday will be considered normal. How it’s specifically done will change of course, but the concept will grow.
More Men Are Removing Themselves From The Dating Pool, Eliminating Competition for the Rest of Us
Back in 2007, hell, back when I was a young man in the 80’s and 90’s, competition for women was fierce. You had to compete not only against the good-looking guys and naturals, but also against normal, every day betas, who actually could “get the girl” if they tried hard enough.
Today, many men (incels, angry MGTOW’s, losers, uber-betas, porn addicts, herbivore men, older virgins, etc) have removed themselves from even trying to get laid, relying instead on porn and sexy video games.
Society thinks this is terrible. (Japan’s government is in panic mode.) I think it’s great. Though betas raise the bar to entry in many respects, the actual number of men you have to compete against for any one woman has noticeably dropped in the last several years. This trend will continue. It’s bad for society, but the Western world committed suicide a very long time ago. In terms of your dating life, less men is a good thing for you.
Night Game Has Diminished
As I already said above, night game (picking up girls at clubs and bars) was a HUGE thing back in 2007 and prior. Pickup pretty much was night game. There were some daygame guys but they were minor players in the pickup culture. Online game wasn’t yet a thing, and social circle game was barely talked about.
Over time, fewer women went to clubs (usually getting their validation from online sources like Instagram and Tinder instead) but more men kept going. Night game guys all over the PUA community and the manosphere started complaining that going to bars/clubs was a sausage fest, and that was several years ago.
Today, most of those night game guys of old have now (temporarily) removed themselves from the dating pool (as I just said above) by surrendering to monogamy or traditional marriage. Daygame is really huge, online dating is huge, and there’s more of a focus on social circle game than ever before. Night game is still definitely a thing (I notice Owen and the RSD guys are still at it) but it’s almost a 180 degree change from ten years ago.
Men and Women Still Attempt Monogamy Just As Much, Even Though It Works Even Less Than Before
This isn’t so much a trend as a continuation. I would have expected fewer people to try monogamy as divorce rates continue to increase, cheating rates continue to increase, and monogamy satisfaction continues to decrease. Yet, that hasn’t happened. True, people are waiting longer to get married, but people of all ages and generations are still getting into monogamous relationships in vast numbers, even though it almost always ends up in divorce, cheating, breakups, and drama. People are still clinging to monogamy with dear life and won’t give it up just yet.
I honestly have no idea when the mainstream will finally get the balls to admit that this system isn’t working anymore. It’s very likely we have a few more decades of pain, suffering, divorces, cheating, anger, hurt, and screwed up children before normal people start openly embracing long-term relationship models that don’t include absolute sexual monogamy at all times.
It’s going to be very interesting to watch. Here’s to the next ten years!