Stop With the Excuses!
Your excuses are pathetic. They make you pathetic. Listed below are the typical excuses I get from lazy, whiny little bitches who say they can’t get laid. They are numbered in no particular order. Over time, I will add new items to this list to make a living document, just like my Objections to Nonmonogamy article and my Questions about Soft Nexting article.
Prepare to have your comfort zone pulled out from under you. And STOP WITH THE EXCUSES.
Excuse 1: I can’t get laid because I’m too ugly.
As I talked about here, it is my experience that the vast majority of men who self-identify as “ugly” are not ugly at all. Many of them are better-looking than me. In that above linked article, I told men who thought they were ugly to email me pictures of themselves for some objective feedback, from me, as to weather or not they were actually ugly. Many men sent me pics, and not one guy was actually “ugly.” Some were average-looking, but none were ugly.
I can thus tell you for a fact that if you think you’re ugly and you don’t have some kind of physical deformity or major weight problem, it’s far more likely a false, internal, self-esteem issue and not a reflection of reality.
If you actually have some sort of physical deformity on your face, save up whatever money you need to and get it resolved via cosmetic surgery. If you’re fat, lose weight.
Excuse 2: I can’t get laid because I’m too short.
Neil Strauss was 5’6” and got laid like a rock star far before he ever became famous. Being short is never an excuse. Get some shoe lifts from Amazon. Get some elevator shoes right here. You can easily add 1-5 inches to your height using these methods. Then screen for women who are your new height or shorter. No problem.
Excuse 3: I can’t get laid because I’m overweight.
I was almost 250 pounds of fat (I’m about 5’10” – 5’11” while barefoot) during the years in which I was having the most sex with the most women (2009-2011), including super hot women, including 18 year-olds, within 3-4 hours meet-to-sex, without paying them any money. I was chubby as fuck, and I still got laid. It’s true that I had to put in much more numbers than the typical guy, and my margin for error was much lower than it would have been for a skinny or ripped guy, but I still got laid and still got results. You didn’t see me moping around complaining that I was “too chubby therefore girls won’t like me.” I was too busy getting laid.
It’s true that if you’re actually fat, like a full-on butterball, this is going to be a problem. The good news is that you can lose weight if you really want to. I’ve lost 40 pounds since then. Yeah, it’s hard. Damn hard. I know, but it must be done, not just for women, but for your overall long-term future happiness.
Excuse 4: I can’t get laid because I’m too bald / have thinning hair / have a bald spot.
Shave your entire head. Or, spend a little money and get the surgery or the nonsurgical hair restoration procedure. I did the nonsurgical several years ago and I love it. I talk about it in detail here, with pictures.
Excuse 5: I can’t get laid with hot girls because I’m too old. If you’re in your 50’s, the only way to fuck younger women is to pay for it.
I personally know eight different men over the age of 50 who get laid with women in their 20’s (or even younger) without paying for sex. Granted, two of them are wealthy, but the other six have normal incomes for men in their 50’s. All eight of these men take care of themselves physically and make sure they look decent. If you’re fat, lose weight. If you’re bald, address it. If you act like a needy old man beta, work on your inner game. Being in your 50’s is not a death sentence. I’ll be in my 50’s in just five years, and I plan on having a great time in my 50’s. And I will. Just watch.
Excuse 6: I can’t get laid with hot girls because I’m too old; I’m over 60.
You can still get laid; you’re just going to have to pay for it, which should not be a big deal financially since you’re over 60. (You should have plenty of money by age 60, and if you don’t, you have much bigger problems than getting laid.)
Clean up your appearance as best you can, stop acting like a needy beta, buy my book on online dating which covers sugar daddy game, hit up your local sugar daddy site, budget out a few hundred bucks a month, and you can bang all the hot, young girls you want. (And yes, I know men over 60 who are doing this right now without any major problems.)
Excuse 7: White girls hate Indian guys.
Incorrect. The accurate statement is A) some white women aren’t attracted to Indian guys and B) no white women are attracted to nerdy, needy, oneitisy, Indian guys with skewed perceptions of dating, women, and sex. (In other words, Indian guys like you.)
Indian men are programmed with the worst anti-sex Societal Programming of all the races. If this is you, get some therapy and/or some coaching, clean up your inner game a bit, and then focus on women. And yes, your hit rates with white women will be less than a white man of equal skill. Doesn’t matter. My online dating response rates are often around 2% or less and I still get laid plenty. I personally know Indian guys who bang a never-ending stream of cute white girls. I can be done. Read this for more information.
Excuse 8: White girls hate black guys.
Not black guys who dial down the energy levels and overbearing “Daym gurl you fiiiiiine!” shit, and who snap up the way they dress. Calm, well-dressed black men are literally the only guys who have ever out-gamed white girls from me. Calm down and dress better, and you’ll do just fine. Read this for more information.
Excuse 9: White girls hate Asian guys.
Not Asian guys who lift weights and don’t act like spazoids or nerds. Read this for more information.
Excuse 10: You can’t fuck girls in my country unless you’re monogamous.
Are you going to bet me $10,000 that I can’t find three men in your country who are getting laid without being monogamous? Please let me know. I could use another $10,000.
If you truly live in a very oppressive society, like Saudi Arabia or something, then you know what my advice is: MOVE. If you can’t move right now, that’s okay. Make plans to move out of your oppressive country within a few years so you can actually be a man.
Excuse 11: It’s super hard to get laid in my city. Women here are bitches.
Excuse 12: All the girls in my city are ugly.
If you live in a very small town, then you might be right. MOVE to a bigger city.
If you live in a normal sized Western city (or larger), then you’re full of shit. Read this.
Excuse 13: My town is too small. They’re aren’t enough women here for any degree of consistent sexual variety.
If the population of your town is under about 200,000 people or so, then you might be right. Guess what you need to do? MOVE. You must move to a bigger city if your woman life is important to you.
If you can’t move right now, that’s okay. Make plans to move out of your small town within a few years so you can actually be a man. The worst-case scenario is that you may have to drive for a few hours to your nearest big city to get laid until you can move.
Excuse 14: I can’t move. I can’t afford it.
Yes you can. I’ve dated very young, poor FB’s who moved across the United States for less than $1200. They saved up the money (anyone can save up $1200 no matter how poor, given enough time), packed all their crap into their little shitty car, and drove. It can be done if you want it bad enough.
I’ve heard the stupid “I can’t move” excuse from tons of men over the years, and not once have I heard a scenario where it was true.
Excuse 15: Women in my city are really traditional and want relationships before they have sex.
Are you going to bet me $10,000 that I can’t find three men in your city who are getting laid without getting into a traditional relationship first? Please let me know. I could use another $10,000.
It’s true that certain cities in certain countries have the difficulty bar raised because more women there desire traditional relationships before sex. That doesn’t mean that A) you can’t get laid or B) you can’t move to a different city. Just realize that you’re going to have to up your game and put in more numbers than a guy in a typical city. And fucking MOVE to a different city if this is a problem.
Excuse 16: Women in my city like guys who look like <this> and I look like <that>.
Are you going to bet me $10,000 that I can’t find three men in your city who are getting laid without looking like <this>? Please let me know. I could use another $10,000.
Refer to excuses 11, 12, and 13 above for more details on this bullshit excuse.
Excuse 17: Getting laid takes too much work.
If you are a hardcore Thrill of the Hunt man and only want one night stands and notch counts, then yes, getting laid is going to be a hell of a lot of work; I can’t help you if that’s the case. However, if one night stands and/or notch counts aren’t your priority (they have never been mine), then going about your dating life in a systematic way is very little work once you get the hang of it. Throughout most of the last several years, I would only do online dating blitz’s once or twice a year. Each blitz would last about two to three weeks. That’s two to six weeks of “work” per year. The rest of the year I have easy, relaxing sex with recurring FB’s and MLTR’s. It’s great.
Does that sound like “too much work?”
Excuse 18: I was abused as a child / I had a horrible childhood.
If you are age 25 or older, then I’m sorry you pussy, but you can’t use this as an excuse anymore. I see people in their late 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and even sometimes 50’s whining and complaining that their life sucks because of what their parents did when they were kids.
BULLSHIT! Everything in your life is your fault. Your life is what you make of it. If what happened with your parents is still affecting you in your 30’s, that’s because you’re choosing to make this a fucking excuse. There are tons of other people your age who had the same problems as a child you did (or worse!) who live perfectly happy lives regardless.
Seeing grown men whine about how they can’t get laid or can’t lose weight or can’t get a job or whatever because their parents were assholes 20 years ago is pathetic beyond belief and makes me ashamed that I’m the same gender as you. A little hard work and perhaps some therapy can get that problem fixed (or at least greatly alleviated) if you choose to put in the time instead of whining like a little bitch.
Excuse 19: My parents put me on a bunch of drugs as a child (ritalin, etc).
See excuse number 18 above.
Excuse 20: I’m a virgin. It’s hard to make the moves on women I like.
That’s correct; it’s extremely difficult for virgins to sexually escalate on women. (I had the same problem when I was a virgin.)
Hire a hooker or a sugar baby (from a sugar daddy website) and have sex with her about three times. Once you get this done, you’ll find that it’s suddenly way easier to escalate on women.
If paying for sex turns you off, then another option to lose your virginity fast is to “go beta” for a little bit, and ask one of your close female friends (even if she’s ugly) to have sex with you.
The point is, if you’re a virgin, forget about the PUA /pickup stuff for the moment and just have sex with someone. Once you do this, getting laid will be far easier.
Excuse 21: Not everyone can go around fucking a bunch of women or having nonmonogamous relationships.
1. I’m not talking to everyone, nor do I expect everyone to follow my advice. I’m just talking to you as an individual. Everyone can’t get laid a lot, but YOU can. Read argument number 5 here.
2. I never said “fuck a bunch of women.” I don’t. Read this.
Excuse 22: I might get a false rape accusation!
Not if you do this correctly. Read this.
Excuse 23: I don’t want to get a STD.
You won’t if you do this stuff correctly. I’ve had sex with a very large number of women and I’m clean. Read item number 2 right here.
Excuse 24: I can’t have sex with girls because I live at home with my parents.
Teenage boys in high school who live at home with their parents have been getting laid just fine for decades. There are also lots of young guys in the PUA community who live at home with parents and who get laid just fine. So why is this a problem for you and not them? Because they’re not being lazy and making excuses, that’s why. Just do what these guys do:
1. Have sex at friend’s houses.
2. Have sex in your car. (Ideally, get or borrow a pickup truck or a van.)
3. Have sex in your friend’s car(s).
4. If you’re 18 or older, coordinate with your parents and have them get out of the house 1-2 evenings a week so you can have the place to yourself.
Etc. It’s not that complicated. If idiot teenagers can figure this out, you can.
Excuse 25: I can’t have sex with girls because I’m unemployed and/or don’t make a lot of money. Only guys with money get laid.
Wrong. Read about the unemployed homeless guy who was banging chicks left and right here. I’ve known tons of poor guys who live on friend’s couches and who still get laid, and with hot girls.
Excuse 26: My mom/dad/family wouldn’t approve of me if I had sex with more than one person.
Excuse 27: Women are bitches today, not like they were in the 1950’s, so it’s not worth it.
This is a problem for society, but it’s not relevant to you as an individual in any way whatsoever. Read item number 1 here.
Excuse 28: I can’t get laid because I don’t have a car.
Mass transit. Subways. Buses. Trains. Uber. Lyft. Friends. Family. Taxis. Stop with the fucking excuses.
Excuse 29: Sex isn’t that important.
Not according to doctors. Read this.
Excuse 30: I can’t get laid because I’m extremely shy / introverted.
Is there someone with a gun to your head forcing you to be shy? Forcing you to not change? Forcing you to not do the things necessary to change? It’s like saying you can’t get laid because you’re fat and then adamantly not doing anything in order to lose weight. Shyness is a curable condition, and can be overcome by consistent practice, just like anything else. (And for the record, I am an introvert.)
THERE ARE NO EXCUSES. EXCUSES MAKE YOU A LAZY PUSSY. STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND START TAKING ACTION. FOR EVERY EXCUSE YOU HAVE, THERE ARE VAST NUMBERS OF OTHER MEN WHO HAD YOUR EXACT SAME PROBLEM, OR WORSE, WHO GOT LAID WITH HOT GIRLS ANYWAY. STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH, TAKE YOUR DIAPERS OFF, AND GET TO WORK.