Racial Series Part 4 – Pickup Advice for Hispanic Guys
Based on what I’ve seen, of all the mainstream non-white races, Hispanic guys need the least amount of help in terms of dating and getting girls. Unlike Asians and Indians, Hispanic guys have a natural Alpha Male vibe and often have decent game. Unlike black guys, Hispanic guys usually don’t take the overbearing Alpha Male 1.0 stuff too far, at least during the dating/pickup phase. (Once in a relationship, Hispanic dudes go full-bore Alpha 1.0 and have all kinds of problems because of it, but we’ll talk about that in a minute.) They are also deemed as more socially acceptable to women of non-Hispanic races, at least sometimes.
Regardless, as a Hispanic guy you’re still going to have your own unique set of challenges, all of which were installed by the greatest source of false Societal Programming in your life: your family.
1. Your Conflicting Upbringing
Hispanic guys are raised by their parents with the most conflicting SP of perhaps all other races.
On one side, you had your mother. Throughout your childhood, your mother drilled into you the concept that men are all assholes, liars, pigs, shitheads, and ravenous monsters who cannot be trusted, just like your dad. “But YOU won’t be like that, Pedro. You’re a good boy.”
The implication is that you need to grow up and be a beta so you’re not like that evil son of a bitch who impregnated her with you. The problem is that she neglects to mention that this assholish, extreme Alpha behavior was what worked on her. So you exist in a constant state of cognitive dissonance with your angry, high drama, Hispanic mom who both loves and hates Alpha Males at the same time.
On the flip side, you had your dad during your childhood. At least some of you did. Many of you didn’t, which is problem number one. If you had a dad, he told you pretty much the opposite. He was probably a high drama Alpha Male 1.0 with lots of game, and he probably told you to embrace your assholishness, because that’s what girls like. (At least Hispanic girls.)
Not only does his advice completely conflict with your mom’s advice, but it’s narrowly calibrated towards attracting Hispanic women (maybe) rather than women of other races.
So finally, you grow up and get out on your own, and you have this huge inner conflict about how to behave with women. Beta and nice, or extreme Alpha 1.0 and asshole? Which one?
You have got to emotionally embrace the proper frames I (and many others) talk about which work best for attracting women of all races. Those frames are not the beta male of your mother’s desire (far from it), nor are they the extreme asshole Alpha Male 1.0 of your dad’s (which too much for most non-Hispanic women).
They are instead, confident but outcome independent, relaxed but strong, sexual but not horny, and aggressive but not rude. If your goal is ongoing relationships, then you need to adjust your frame to 85% player, 15% provider, as I describe here. Remember that as a Hispanic dude, you’re likely going to naturally push too hard over to the Alpha Male 1.0 / player side of the scale. Similar to black guys, you need to dial that back a few notches.
2. Extreme Family Drama
Of all the races, Hispanic people have the most family drama, by far. I mean that. By far. Even black people don’t have the extreme, nonstop, vitriolic family drama that is considered “normal” in Hispanic circles. Just about every Hispanic guy I’ve known and every Hispanic woman I’ve dated has had to put up with extreme, constant, ever-pounding, screaming, bitching drama from parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, spouses, ex-spouses, and everyone else.
Whenever I point this out to these people, they nod and agree, but then say something like, “Yeah, we have a lot of drama, but we still love each other,” and then they go right back to screaming at their aunt or whatever.
This is part of Hispanic culture and I get it. (I think it’s ridiculous, but I get it. Hispanics are a hot-blooded lot.) The problem is this drama family culture programs you to bring drama like this into your relationships with women. I have seen Hispanic guys get involved with the stupidest and most extreme drama with women that I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot.
If you want to get good with women and stay happy with the woman side of your life, you’re going to have to put your family at a distance and practice being relaxed, chill, and non-reactive with the people close to you. As a Hispanic man, you are seriously doomed to live a life of non-stop drama if you don’t.
3. Warped Catholic Shit
As if these problems weren’t enough, most Hispanics are extremely Catholic. So not only does your manly-man culture tell you to go out and bang girls by being an asshole, it also tells you to not use a condom on those girls because that’s against God’s Will™. Your culture tells you to go out and bang tons of girls, but also to marry one of them as soon as possible because That’s What Jesus Wants™. Then when you’re stupid enough to get married, you’ll cheat like the dog you are, get divorced, and do it all over again.
I’ve dated enough Hispanic women to know that they hate using condoms because it somehow takes “God’s Will” away from what might happen. If God wants them to get pregnant, they’ll get pregnant. If he doesn’t, they won’t. It’s Up To God™, not some condom.
You, as a Hispanic man, likely have this brainwashing too. It explains all the Hispanic men out there who have no fathers.
I was raised Catholic myself. I know all about removing the brainwashing and damage this causes. Read this article here about that. Just remember that just because your mom told you something about God or Jesus doesn’t mean it actually works or makes sense in the real world of the Western 21st century.
That wraps it up for our racial series! I hope it’s helped.