How My Life Will Look When I’m 70
A few days ago I was illin’ and chillin’ in my home office, working hard as always, when suddenly a vortex of purple light appeared(!). From the vortex, out stepped a man(!) who looked like me, but was clearly a few decades older.
“Holy turd birds!” I cried, “It’s Future Me again! You’re the guy I talked to from the future last year! Telling me about all the nanobots and virtual reality and shit! What’s up, Future Me?”
“Calm down, kid,” the man said, “You’re half right. I’m you from the future, but from an alternate timeline.”
“Alternate timeline?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his shoulder that was noticeably more muscular than mine, “I come from a timeline where all the tech pessimists were right, and none of that nanotech or sex robots or virtual reality stuff ever came true. Technology just advanced slowly like it always has. Technology is higher now, but nothing amazing. Day-to-day life is still the same in the future as it is for you now, more or less. Especially now, since Western civilization collapsed a few years ago and China pretty much runs the world. Those Chinese are smart and efficient, but they’re not as innovative as we were.”
“Cool!” I said, not caring about society as usual, “But why have you come to visit me?”
“Well,” he said, “Me and my DLR were reminiscing, looking through some of your old Blackdragon posts from when you were in your 40s. I noticed in one of them, a bunch of guys in the comments asked you about where you see yourself when you’re in your 70s. So, I thought, what the hell, I’ll travel back in time to give you some answers.”
“Alright,” I said, “But what the hell is a DLR?”
“Oh yeah,” he replied, “I forgot. You haven’t invented that acronym yet. For simplicity’s sake, let’s just call her an OLTR.”
“Ah, OLTR I understand.”
“I know, dumbshit. You coined the acronym.”
“Now, now. No need to get snippy, Old Future Me. I don’t do drama. Don’t make me soft next you and throw you back into that vortex.”
“Just try it, you little bastard,” he said, flexing his Popeye-like forearms, “I can bench press 100 pounds more than you can. I’ll wipe the floor with your candy ass.”
“Really? Cool! I’m strong when I’m older!”
“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, since shifting away from a focus on money in my early 50s, I’m a little more outcome independent these days, and just say whatever falls out of my mouth. Don’t take it personally.”
“You know I don’t,” I said.
Just like my last visit from Future Me (who looked 37 years old), I pulled out my phone and started recording my conversation with Old Future Me (who clearly looked like an old guy, just a strong and youthful version of an old guy). I got him comfortable, offered him some water, which he drank, and started pelting with all kinds of questions about my life as a man in his 70s.
Here’s a portion of what we talked about.
Me: So I assume I hit my last set of financial goals when I was in my late 40s and early 50s?
Old Future Me: Yeah. There was a depression in the US and Europe during that time, as you expected, and that caused some problems, but since your businesses and investments were prepared for it, you came out alright. By the time you were about 53, money was no longer a concern for you, and you shifted your Mission into phase two, just as you had planned all along.
Me: Where do you live now? I know I moved out of the US, right?
Old Future Me: Yeah, you bugged out of there around that time and moved to Buenos Aires. Today I have a house in Argentina and an apartment in the US. You spend a lot of time in Asia though.
Me: Wait a damn minute. Why do you have an apartment in the US? I don’t want an apartment in the US. That was never part of my plan. I want to stay as far away from the US as possible.
Old Future Me: Your OLTR wife didn’t go for the RV idea, and you got tired of staying with family or paying for hotels every time you visited, so you finally bit the bullet and got a nice but small studio apartment. Since the US dollar collapsed a while back, it’s not a big deal and was pretty inexpensive. And you rent it out when you’re not there to help offset costs, though frankly, not a lot of people rent the damn thing. It’s in the collapsed US after all, and no one wants to visit that shithole these days. And the lease is in one of your offshore company’s names, which saves you on some taxes, liability, and regulation.
Me: I guess that’s the price I’m paying for being able to visit my family and home culture in the US whenever I want.
Old Future Me: Exactly.
Me: And you said I have a…wife? Making me nervous over here, dude.
Old Future Me: Of course I have a wife. I’m 70 years old for fuck’s sake. OLTR version of course, because I’m not stupid. Anyway, here’s a pic of her.
Me: Wow. Older, but not bad. Still hot. How old is she?
Old Future Me: 62.
Me: What?!? She looks much younger than that.
Old Future Me: Cosmetic surgery, pal. She just upgraded her boobs again last year.
Old Future Me: Plus, your favorite FB is 27. Your second favorite is 37 but she’s getting to be a bitch, so I’ll probably next her ass soon.
Me: Wait, you’re 70. You still have FBs in their 20s?
Old Future Me: Just one of them is. Getting women under 30 is pretty difficult at my age, but doable if I work at it. Getting them under age 25 is pretty much impossible, unless I pay a little for it of course, which is easy since sugar daddies are a norm in society now. But I don’t really like spending money. I prefer to have sex the old fashioned way: for free.
Me: Amen to that.
Old Future Me: I have though, paid for it. Again, I can afford it and it’s in the budget, so it’s not a big deal. If I want a new FB without paying her, it takes some time, but if I want to just pay for it, I whip up my sugar daddy app, throw out a few hundred bucks, and boom, done. Like I said, not a big deal with my financial position.
Me: Do you still work?
Old Future Me: What a stupid question! Of course I work, you dumbass. I just work for fun now, and not every day like you do. I work a few days a week, mostly writing and doing speeches, whenever I feel like it. I get paid for my work but I don’t really care if I do. I just like to work.
Me: I love to work too, but I work with specific financial objectives in mind. It’s what drives me.
Old Future Me: I’m still driven, but not for money anymore. My Mission drives me, still to this day. My total testosterone is still around 900, my health is great, I have sex regularly, and I still set goals (just non-financial ones). I’m just as motivated as you are, but for the experience of life and my Mission, not because of money. I haven’t really needed to worry about money for almost 20 years now. Your hard work in your 20s and 40s saw to that.
Me: You never lost any money in your investments?
Old Future Me: Well, as you know, you and I only invest in very boring, very conservative investments that don’t make a large return but never lose money. But yeah, I’ve lost a little money a few times over the last 30 years, particularly when Europe and the US finally went under. (Hell, everyone lost money when that happened.) But on the overall I’ve maintained and grown my wealth. I’ve never lost a large amount of money, like all those idiots who invested in the stock market did.
Me: But surely you still have budget. I mean, you can’t just spend money on whatever you want, right?
Old Future Me: Right, but like you, I live a very, very low cost lifestyle. I live in Argentina which is one of the cheapest places to live on the planet. I keep most of my money invested in strong currencies, in this case Chinese renminbi (I was smart enough to get the hell out of US dollars a few decades ago), and spend money in weak currencies, in this case the Argentine peso. So a little of my money goes a very long way. I also don’t spend a lot of money in the first place. I travel a lot, but usually the travel is paid for because of work I do on my trips. I have no debt either, just like you don’t now. Now granted, my wife, being a woman, spends money on all kinds of stupid shit. Clothes, shoes, handbags, pillows. You know, all that girl crap. But she has her own income so I don’t need to worry about most of those expenses.
Me: She has her own income? That’s good. When I was monogamously married in my 20s, one of the reasons I got divorced was because she didn’t work. She didn’t have something she felt was her own. When the kids went off to school, she was home alone with nothing to do. It was hard on her, and hard on the marriage.
Old Future Me: Exactly. My wife works on her own Alpha 2.0 location independent business that I helped her start many years ago. She doesn’t make as much money as I do, but she doesn’t really need to, with our living expenses being so low (outside of her stupid girly purchases that is). And she has something that’s hers that she can be proud of.
Me: You said your total testosterone is still at 900. So I assume you’re still on TRT?
Old Future Me: We don’t call it TRT anymore, and we don’t even use syringes. We have better systems for keeping men’s T levels at their optimal levels, but yeah, I’m still on a regimen that ensures my T levels are around 900 or so. I make damn sure I never become one of those typical old guys who eventually get weak, unhappy, unmotivated and beta. I also don’t want cancer or stroke or heart attacks. So hell yeah, I still get regular blood tests that check everything out, like PSA, DHEA, vitamin D, testosterone, estrogen, cholesterol, inflammation, and everything else, just like you started doing when you turned 40. That was a very smart move, and I thank you for that. Today I’m one of the healthiest 70 year-old men I know. I exercise a lot. I lift weights three times a week and do cardio two or three times a week. And that doesn’t count all the fuckin’ I’m doing.
Me: Speaking of that, I assume my dick still works? Dare I say…Cybercock?
Old Future Me: Yep. It usually works just fine. And when I need to take a little “help,” I take a little pill. It all works. However, I don’t have sex quite as often as you do. Weekly, more or less, but not what you’re doing. At my age it’s not that big of a priority. The biggest thing that helps sexually is my testosterone and the fact that all three of the women I’m playing with are super hot, at least to me. I see a lot of these old guys married to old, fat wives complaining about erectile dysfunction. Well, shit. No wonder they can’t get it up! If my wife looked like that, and I wasn’t allowed to have sex with any other women, then hell, my Johnson would be soft as a noodle too! What the hell do these old monogamous dumbshits expect?
Me: How often do you travel?
Old Future Me: We spend about two months a year in the collapsed US. It’s a shithole these days, but a few of the states that seceded, like Texas and New Hampshire, are doing a little better. Regardless, me and the wife can still visit our poverty-stricken families who still live there and didn’t have the foresight to get out when the getting was good. I help them out a little financially when I can, but I don’t overdo it. Many of these people were the same people calling me an asshole back when I was in my 40s, when I was telling them to leave the Western world. And don’t even get me started about the Europeans…they’re even worse off. Since the Muslims took over after the EU civil war-
Me: <interrupting> Yeah, yeah, I get that you’re probably not going to Europe that often these days, but where else do you go? China?
Old Future Me: Not necessarily just China but various places in Asia, yeah. That’s where the money and the action is. I do speeches over there and the wife likes to shop there, since clothing stores in the US and Europe suck now. I travel internationally about four or five times a year, sometimes with the wife and sometimes by myself. We’re even thinking about moving to New Zealand. Beautiful country. And my daughter already lives there. I’d have to get one or two new FBs if we moved, but that’s easy, even if I have to “sugar daddy” it.
Me: What do you do for fun?
Old Future Me: My work is my fun. You know that.
Me: Well yeah, but what else? I mean like real hobbies. Still play blackjack? Stuff like that?
Old Future Me: I haven’t really played much blackjack since right-wing rebels nuked Las Vegas back in 2026. Something about a “city of sin” or some shit. They did it as retaliation for when our first openly socialist president, Chelsea Clinton, socialized all healthcare, college, grocery stores, and auto companies. But for hobbies? These days I like to read, play out on my small boat, watch movies, and a few years ago I got back into martial arts, Krav Maga and BJJ. Fun stuff. And yeah, when I visit Macau I play a little blackjack, just for fun though, not to win like you used to play. Like I said, I don’t care about money anymore.
Me: Hm. Sounds weird for me to not care about money. But getting to the point where I don’t have to worry about it is my goal. I’m glad I hit it.
Old Future Me: It took you a little longer than you planned, but you hit it, yeah. Today I can focus on working for fun and giving back to the community.
Me: Is that what your speeches are for? Giving back?
Old Future Me: Many of them, yes. Many of the speeches I give and the writing I do is for free, to help men and younger people. I also donate consulting time to many nonprofits. And I give a percentage of my income, including my investments income, to charity, just like you do. It’s just that I’m able to give a lot more these days.
Me: Interesting. So now you care about the world? I don’t.
Old Future Me: That’s because you’re an asshole. I want to make the world a better place, yeah. At least for those who will listen, who I agree are always going to be a minority. Even after the collapse, human beings are still just as collectivist as they’ve always been. They still try to cling to things like monogamy, socialism, religion, war, debt based economies, and all kinds of other things that validate emotions but don’t work or make sense in the real world. But yes, I want to help those people who want to actually live happy lives in spite of all that crap.
Me: That’s pretty much my attitude.
Old Future Me: Yeah, but since you focus so much on money and empire building right now (which is what you should be focusing on right now, don’t get me wrong) and I don’t need to worry about any of that stuff, I can focus 100% of my time on giving back, and I love it, whereas you can only focus a percentage of your time on that.
Me: Good point.
We talked for another hour or two. Finally, he rose, saying he had to get back because he had a romantic dinner date scheduled with his wife. (Something about going out for low carb Mexican food.) Standing in front of the purple vortex, I shook his hand. He thanked me for working so hard and building a life and an infrastructure for him to live such a happy and rewarding life in his 70s, despite the collapse of his home culture. I thanked him for giving me a glimpse into my future. He smiled, nodded, stepped into the vortex, and both him and it disappeared.
I stood there, standing at the empty space where he had stood just seconds before, thinking several deep thoughts. Then I walked back to my desk.
“Back to work,” I said.