Masculine vs. Feminine Personality Traits
There’s a 90s movie I really enjoyed called Multiplicity, starring Michael Keaton. In the movie, (spoilers!) Keaton plays Doug, a typical, married, stressed out guy who works as a construction contractor. In an effort to reduce stress and workload, he goes to a company that clones people and acquires a few clones to help him with his workload. He keeps this a secret from his wife, and hides the clones in the upstairs apartment of his detached garage. When needed, his clones simply pretend to be him when the wife is around, even if he’s out sailing on his boat.
The movie is interesting because not all the clones are the same. The first clone he makes is his masculine self. Masculine Doug burps, farts, is a little messy, has a low voice, doesn’t talk very much, preferring to grunt, growl or use very short sentences. Masculine Doug loves to work, and enjoys putting in long hours at Doug’s job, enabling him to take more time off.
The second clone Doug makes somehow turns out to be his feminine self. Feminine Doug acts and dresses like a gay guy. He talks incessantly, and in a high-pitched, chipper voice. He’s very clean, loves to cook and bake, is always very supportive of everyone, and loves to have long emotional talks with Doug’s wife.
Doug loves it, and spends his time boating and relaxing while Masculine Doug works and Feminine Doug handles the house. Soon, the two clones get busy themselves, and without Doug’s permission, make a fourth clone to help them out. Since this clone is a copy of a copy, he comes out retarded. Retarded Doug does things like dress like a clown, puts slices of pizza in his wallet, and tries to shave his tongue. He can barely carry on a conversation and is only capable of menial labor.
Everything is great until Doug finds out that Masculine Doug is banging women on the side, often bringing women to the apartment. Things get worse when Doug finds Feminine Doug sleeping next to his wife one night. Doug loses his shit, confronts the clones, and introduces them to Rule Number 1: “No one has sex with my wife but me!” Here’s the scene where Doug confronts Feminine Doug while Masculine Doug watches:
One night, Masculine Doug is in the main house while Doug is gone, and his wife is in the kitchen looking particularly sexy. She’s horny that day and makes overtures to Masculine Doug (thinking he’s Doug, of course). Masculine Doug is a horny horndog, can’t control himself, and has sex with her. A little later, while talking to Feminine Doug, she grabs his cock and starts escalating. Feminine Doug, not wanting to break Rule Number 1 but also being a pussy, doesn’t know how to stop her, and they have sex. A little after that, Retarded Doug wanders into the house. He sees the wife and gets a boner. She looks down at his boner and says, “Again? Well, okay,” leads him into the bedroom, and has sex with him too.
Things get worse when Masculine Doug gets sick, forcing Feminine Doug to cover for him at the construction site. Feminine Doug has no idea what the hell he’s doing and fucks it all up, getting Doug in big trouble. Doug also finds out that all three clones banged his wife, and everything goes to hell.
Masculine vs. Feminine
Every man has a personality that falls somewhere on the scale between masculine and feminine. (David Deida does a great job talking about this in the book Way of the Superior Man.) This has nothing to do with gay vs. straight. There are men with feminine personalities who are 100% heterosexual. It’s about temperament, personality, and preferences.
Visualize a personality scale going from zero to ten, with zero being extremely feminine and ten being extremely masculine, and five being nicely balanced between the two. You fall somewhere on that scale.
Guys with more feminine personalities have better fashion sense, tend to look better, are more clean, tend to be more talkative and emotional, and often relate to people better.
Guys with more masculine personalities tend to be messier, more focused, less talkative, less emotional, and more gruff. They’re often more into things than people. They also tend to have higher sex drives, though this isn’t always the case.
There are also guys who are “balanced,” meaning they’re right at about five on the scale. They’re rare, but they’re out there. These guys tend to be relaxed, chill, happy guys who seem to get along with everyone.
On the scale, I’m about at an 8.5. I’m very masculine, more than most guys, though I know guys who are 9s or 10s on the scale who are more masculine than me. Those would be former marine types who love working on the car and getting into fistfights down at the local bar.
The typical beta male walking around in the US is somewhere around a 3.5 or 4 on the scale. Slightly feminine, but not gay or metrosexual. There’s a guy in my family who is at about a 2. Very clean, preppy, talkative and sensitive. However, there’s yet another guy in my family who is at 1, if not .5 or zero. He’s not gay, but he’s as effeminate as a heterosexual man can be. He even jokes about it. Many women often mistake him for being gay, even if they just see a photo of him.
Different cultures have different compositions of masculine and feminine men. For example, European men tend to be more on the feminine side of the scale than American men. Men in the Philippines and Thailand are more feminine than Europeans, often to the point of dysfunction. On the flip side, men in Russia are far more masculine than American men, again, often to the point of dysfunction.
Is it better to be masculine? That depends, since there are pros and cons to both.
The good thing about masculine guys is that we get shit done. We also have less chaos in our lives because we keep things simple. Less chaos usually means more happiness.
The good thing about feminine guys is they are socially skilled and excel at the most important business skills there are, which is marketing and sales.
If you think masculine guys get chicks more than feminine guys, you’d be wrong, since feminine guys have stronger social skills than masculine guys and tend to look more pleasing than masculine men. I’ve seen lots of feminine guys, both inside and outside the PUA world, with seriously fantastic game. Think Russell Brand.
Regardless, there are some women who prefer masculine guys and some who prefer feminine guys. Again, it’s all about preference.
So it’s not a matter of better or worse. As in all things, you need to identify what you are, take advantage of the strengths of what you are, and shore up the weaknesses of what you are.