Why You Can’t Get Hot Girls
Back when I was in high school in the 1980s, one of my favorite comic books was an independent black and white comic (those were popular back then) called The Realm. It was about four college students who get magically transported to a Dungeons and Dragons / Lord of the Rings fantasy world. This was a popular trope in the 80s, because of D&D’s popularity at the time.
The four students were the standard high school clichés. There was the buff, dumb, football player jock, the dorky nerd, the hot, bitchy, rich, blonde cheerleader and the nice, quiet, brunette girl next door.
Once they entered the fantasy world, they took on the usual fantasy roles. The dumb jock became a barbarian. The nerd became a wizard. The girl next door became a cleric. The bitchy hot cheerleader became…well, now this is where things became interesting and where things suddenly took a hard right, away from the formula and into something you weren’t expecting.
Early in the story, the bitchy hot cheerleader was captured by the main villain (a typical dark lord character) and was easily corrupted by him. She became a dark sorceress, who enjoyed summoning demons using human sacrifice, as well as murdering people in sadistic ways. Eventually, the dark lord was defeated and she became the main villain of the entire story.
At the time, I thought nothing of it other than an interesting plot twist. Looking back, I can’t help but think about how that comic was written by two nerds who had probably never had sex with any woman beyond a 6 in their entire lives. What were they really saying about unattainable, hot, blonde girls? Maybe nothing. Or maybe everything.
During the 80s, a new type of movie arose that has stuck with the culture since then; the teen comedy. Back then, you had movies like Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles. Later, you had movies like She’s All That, Mean Girls, Easy A, and many others.
In most of these movies, not all but most, the heroine is a cute but plain girl next door type. She usually has dark hair, a flat chest or close to it, and dresses simply. She is always intelligent, clever, honest, fun, pure, and down to earth. The villain in these movies is always a super hot, popular, rich blonde girl with big boobs and a sexy, sultry body. This villain girl is always vain, arrogant, manipulative, abusive and bitchy.
This is quintessential Societal Programming, folks. For almost 40 years now, our culture has been subtly training young people that hot girls, particularly blonde ones, are distant, angry, entitled bitches.
When Elliot Rodger did the unspeakable a few years back, I noticed that he wasn’t angry at women, he was angry at hot women. That’s a significant difference most people didn’t pick up on. Being angry at women is one thing; you see that all over the manosphere and it’s pretty obvious. But, when you’re angry, or at least secretly resentful specifically at hot women, it’s much more insidious, because you’re often not consciously aware of it. Rodger was furious at these hot girls, thinking they were entitled, pampered, arrogant bitches.
Well, shit. Where do you think he got that idea?
Of course his own experiences probably played a role. Yet to a large degree it was hardcore Societal Programming.
(SP is not why he killed those people; that was because he was all kinds of mentally ill and on anti-psychotics. I’m only talking here about the source and target of his anger, not his violent acts.)
When I got into the game so many years ago, right after my divorce, as a beta male who was 10 years out of practice when it came to dating, the first few women I had sex with were very hot. Many guys complain that they can get girls, but not hot girls. For some reason, I never had that problem. Even back when I was doing all kinds of things wrong, I didn’t get laid very much, but when I did they were very attractive.
I’ve often thought about why this wasn’t a problem for me and why it’s a problem for so many other men, including men who are much better-looking than me, and/or skinnier than me, and/or have (or spend) more money than me, and/or are in the same age ranges as they women they’re pursuing.
My initial guess was that it was because I got into the game at age 35, already an older guy with some past successes, and the increased confidence and outcome independence that older men tend to have. Compared to the typical 22 or 24 year-old dude getting started from scratch, it made sense that I could get to the hotter girls a little more quickly. Maybe.
I think that’s part of it, but I don’t think that’s all of it. I think the rest is explained by the lack of this hidden resentment towards hot girls.
I used to suffer from all kinds of false Societal Programming, just like everyone else. (Using the techniques I talk about in my book, I later got rid of at least 90% of it.) Yet, for some reason, this anti-hot-girl stuff never worked on me. Back when I was younger and watched these teen comedies, I always thought that the lead character was unattractive and uninteresting, and I always fell in love with the bitchy, hot blonde girl. Every time.
Back then, I fantasized about growing up and marrying a woman like Haviland Morris in Sixteen Candles, or Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls and all the rest of those bitchy hot blondes. I loved those women! They were the women I wanted. I had no negative feelings for these women, or that type of women, whatsoever.
As a young virgin in high school, I looked at the super hot, unattainable, big-boobed blonde cheerleader types as something I cared about and wanted, not as something to be pissed off or resentful about. Most of my buddies at the time bitched and complained about these women. Not me. I was excited about these girls. My friends were upset at them, and often disparaged them whenever the subject came up.
So it stands to reason that later in life, I was able to get from zero to the hot women pretty fast. I had no negative subconscious feelings towards them interfering with my frame and actions.
That leads me to the point of this article. A lot of you guys are able to get women, but not hot women. I think this is because a lot of you guys, consciously or subconsciously, are actually angry and/or resentful towards these hot girls. Consciously, you want to have sex with them. Subconsciously, you think these women are bitches from hell who don’t deserve happiness.
The (often subconscious) thought process goes something like this:
See that plain-looking, brown haired girl over there with round face and the flat chest who’s about a 5? She’s a nice girl. I can go have sex with her. I can be with her. She’s nice. She’s cool. But that hot blonde 9 over there with the big tits and the low cut shirt that gives me an insta-boner? She’s a stuck-up bitch. Look at her, walking around, thinking she’s all that. What a cunt. When I jerk off later, I’m going to fantasize about her, but someone needs to slap that bitch.
A lot of you guys are thinking this kind of poison. It helps explain why you have so much trouble getting with hot girls.
It’s the same exact problem with all these left-wing millennial Bernie Sanders types who have been raised to hate rich people. If you hate rich people, or at least secretly resent rich people, then you will never be rich no matter how hard you work. Moreover, I can tell you with certainly that you’ll have financial problems for the rest of your life.
I always wanted to be rich when I was younger, so one of the first business skills I had to learn was to not hate rich people, but instead respect them and consider them an immensely valuable source of information (as long as they didn’t get their money by inheriting it). I went from a shy 18 year-old with no money and no business skills who could barely afford to feed himself to a six-figure income by the time I was 27, so it worked. I was able to take action to make a lot of money without my subconscious sabotaging me.
You can never attain that which you secretly resent. That goes for money and hot babes.
And remember, it’s possible that you may resent hot women and not even realize it consciously. It could be a subconscious thing that you’re not aware of unless you take a deep look into your mind.
If you’re having repeated problems getting to sex or relationships with women you consider really hot, I suggest you take a long, hard look into your brain about your attitudes towards these types of women. I think you might be surprised at what you find.