Accepting Women As They Are
I regularly get emails from guys who tell me things like this:
We had a date set for 6:30pm. 6:30pm. I confirmed it with her twice. It was a very simple place to get to. She said she knew exactly where it was. She showed up 35 minutes late! She said she “had trouble finding it” and gave me a bunch of bullshit about “traffic.” WTF? I was so pissed. That’s bullshit!
My GF/OLTR/MLTR and I had an argument the other day. We wanted to go out, so I suggested this Italian place. She said it was okay. She actually said, “Yeah, that sounds good.” But then when we got there she was all pissed and quiet and giving me this passive aggressive crap. I asked her what was wrong but she wouldn’t tell me. She was a bitch all night. Later that evening she said she hated Italian and had wanted to go to a Mexican place. WTF? Why didn’t she just tell me that? Why did she WANT to sit there and be mad all night? That’s bullshit!
Me and my GF/OLTR/MLTR were going to Chicago to visit some mutual friends. When she was packing I told her TWO TIMES to make sure she didn’t pack any big bottles full of liquids in her bag, because then security would pull us out of the line and make us wait, and she would freak out. We get to the airport, go through security, and sure enough, she has this big bottle of Vitamin Water in her bag. When they tell her to open her bag, she gets pissed at them and causes a scene. Fuck! I’m serious BD, I told her TWO TIMES not to do that, and I know she heard me.
I was SO FUCKING PISSED! We almost missed our flight! After it all I asked her why she had that Vitamin Water in her bag after I told her TWO TIMES not to pack big liquid bottles. She said “she forgot.” That’s bullshit!
I could give you many more examples but I think you get the point.
I never have any of these problems.
Yes. I said never. I never have any of these anger-inducing moments caused by women in my life.
It’s not because the women in my life never make these stupid girl mistakes that all women make. It’s because many years ago I accepted women as wonderful, amazing, irrational, chaotic, flawed creatures.
Most men go through life acting like, and subconsciously assuming, that women are man-like robots who always listen to you, never forget anything, never behave irrationally, and never change their minds. These men are regularly pissed off at the woman (or women) in their life whenever these women don’t act according to this masculine standard. Which, of course, is all the time. This includes men with women who are very smart, and/or have high IQs, and/or have college degrees, and/or are over the age of 30 or 40.
“She’s really smart, so she won’t act like that.” How many times have I heard men say that? (A lot.) And how many times have they been eventually proven wrong? (About 100%.)
Being sometimes happy and sometimes frustrated is the path of the Alpha Male 1.0. Since my objective in life is to be consistently happy at all times (as much as is realistically possible of course), my entire attitude regarding women is completely different from most men.
This attitude works. I am near-consistently happy with women, pretty much year-round. And that’s saying a lot, since I’m always dating several women at a time.
What if I told you that you could be consistently happy with women too? And still spend all the time with women you want? It’s very simple. All you do is this:
Constantly and consistently remember and remind yourself that just about all women, even if they’re very smart and/or mature,
1. Are often disorganized and forgetful.
2. Are often irrational and don’t make sense.
3. Often choose to be sad, unhappy, or upset instead of actually taking action to improve their conditions.
4. Often forget very important details that later screw up their lives (and your life if you’re not careful).
5. Sometimes lose their cool, get hysterical, or cry at extremely inappropriate times and places, even when they logically know they shouldn’t.
6. Often don’t fully process guy-logic statements, when they are clearly stated and they logically understand them.
7. Are biologically hard-wired to change their minds about things, including and especially regarding major life decisions and desires. I discuss this in detail in my book. They will often do this completely without warning or any reason that makes sense to you.
When I spend time with a woman, even if she’s very smart, very successful, very educated, or older, I remember all the above. I do more than remember; I assume some or all of the above will happen with her.
Whenever I have to logistically plan something with a woman, be it a simple date or a week-long trip, I work into my plans the overwhelming likelihood that some of the above seven items will occur.
If any of the above happens, I nod knowingly, and it doesn’t surprise me, confuse me or frustrate me. She’s a girl acting like a girl. I expected this. I anticipate it, ignore it, and move on.
If she really causes me trouble, like she gets hysterical or something, no problem. I snap my fingers, she gets instantly soft nexted, and I go have sex with someone else. Problem solved. She has every right to be bitchy or angry, but I have every right to boot her out of my life when she’s acting like this.
Men who suffer personal unhappiness from women’s drama are either betas, who never soft next, or Alpha 1.0s, who consider soft nexting a “last resort,” meaning they have all kinds of drama with their gal and then they next, which is not only the wrong way to soft next, but way too late.
If I’m with a woman for an extended period and none of the above seven problems occur, I consider that a lucky win but don’t plan on my luck holding out forever. She had a good day, or a good week, or a good month, but she’s still a girl. Her irrational crap is still coming; just not today.
That’s the difference between you and me. I expect women to act like women. You expect women to act like men. If you want to expect women to act like men, that’s your choice, but you’ll never, ever be as consistently happy with women as I am. It won’t be possible for you.
Why Did She Do That???
Another variation of this is the common question I get: “Why do women do that?”
For example, “She asked me what she wanted, I gave it to her, and then she complained. WHY DID SHE DO THAT?”
Here’s why she did that: She’s irrational. Irrational means there is no reason. When women pull their irrational shit on men, men often want to know WHY. The problem is, there is no why. That’s what irrational means. When she behaves retarded or like a 5 year-old, you want some detailed, clear, rational explanation why. Sometimes there is a reason that can be articulated this way depending on the scenario, but the vast majority of the time there is no logical reason, other than “she’s irrational,” which she is. Being irrational is part of being a girl, just like being horny is part of being a guy. It’s just the way it is, and it will never change.
If you expect women in advance to behave irrationally and be disorganized, and don’t worry about “why,” you’re going to be a happy guy. I can tell you this from experience. Just plan on women behaving like…women.
This works both ways too. I tell women all the time that they should expect, in advance, that their husband or boyfriend will cheat on them. Because he will. That’s what men do. Even many beta males will cheat, eventually.
Just like men who are constantly pissed that women act irrationally, women are constantly pissed because men cheat. Just like those men, these women aren’t accepting men to act like…men.
What a happier world it would be if we just accepted each other for both the positives and negatives of our respective genders.
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