Women’s Greatest Problem: The Myth of the Submissive Alpha Male
I will describe the number one problem for Western women in the modern era. It’s something I’ve alluded to before but never described in detail.
When looking to get a long-term boyfriend or husband, modern day women have only two options:
1. Get a beta male who will obey her and conform to her Disney image of dating and marriage, but who will also eventually bore the shit out of her.
2. Get an Alpha Male who will never bore her and always keep her attracted, but who will eventually infuriate her by not following orders and/or not conforming to her feminine, Societal Programming-based Disney desires.
If she doesn’t like either of those two options, she can always choose a third one:
3. Stay single and alone for the rest of her life, occasionally getting short-term sex and companionship when needed, but never actually pair-bond with one long-term guy.
Those are her only three options, at least in terms of getting into a long-term (3+ years) relationship or marriage with a man. There is no other option beyond those three. Those three are all she gets. She must pick one.
Her problem? She hates all three of those options. She doesn’t want any of them.
Be a with a man who bores her? Unacceptable. Women hate being bored, and have a much lower boredom tolerance than men. Women would rather be unhappy, alone, or in a bad relationship than be bored.
Be with man who refuses to take her out on fancy dinner dates, or doesn’t take out the trash when he’s ordered, or who demands a prenup, or who has sex with other women on the side? Aw, hell no! She’s a Strong Independent Woman™, dammit! No man is going to treat her with disrespect! Her husband must be a Gentleman™ who Treats Her Like A Lady™.
Stay single for the rest of her life? Screw that! That directly opposes damn near all of her Societal Programming and Obsolete Biological Wiring. She doesn’t want to be the crazy cat lady down the street she used to make fun of when she was young and pretty in her early 20s.
All three of the only options available to the modern day woman, she hates.
So what does she do?
Well, she’s a woman. This means:
A) She wants everything even if it’s impossible, and
B) She was raised to use woman logic to make most of her major life decisions.
Therefore, she simply invents a new fourth fantasy option out of thin air. This fourth option does not exist in real life. It’s pure fiction, but she doesn’t care. She vigorously pursues it anyway.
This fourth fantasy option is to go out and find a type of man that doesn’t exist in the real world. This unicorn is called the Submissive Alpha Male. The fourth option looks something like this:
I want a man who is strong, confident, badass, successful, take-charge, and masculine. He needs to be a guy who kicks ass and turns me on. BUT! He also needs to treat me like a lady, do what he’s told, take out the trash, always be faithful, treat me with respect, and kiss my ass.
That’s what today’s woman wants. However, little does she realize she’s just described a man who does not exist.
As I have discussed in detail in my books and blogs, men are Alphas or betas. One or the other. They cannot be both. It’s impossible. Granted, there are “nicer” Alphas, but they’re still Alphas. There are slightly more confident betas, but they’re still betas. A man is still Alpha or beta, with all the pros and cons those two categories entail.
A man who is strong, confident, badass, successful, and masculine is an Alpha Male. This man is not going to follow a woman’s orders, at least not for the long term. This man is going to eventually cheat on her, even if he promises not to. This man is not going to (long term) conform to her perfect Cinderella marriage/relationship fantasies, again, even if he initially promises he will. Yes, he may initially (and reluctantly) go along with things like paying for fancy dates, marriage, and/or sexual monogamy in the short therm. Yet later he’ll refuse to obey orders, or cheat on her, or treat her like shit, or whatever.
On the other side of the coin, a man who treats a woman “like a lady,” does whatever a woman wants, showers her with money, cheerfully agrees to whatever relationship aspects or parameters she demands, does what he’s told whenever ordered, and constantly kisses her ass is, a beta male. This man is not going to be a strong, tough, take-charge, badass, masculine dude. This guy is not going to be dominant during sex. He’s going to be a nice guy, not a badass. Unlike the Alpha, he will indeed conform to all of her relationship/marriage fantasies and largely stick with them, but he’s not going to be exciting or maintain a strongly attractive, masculine personality.
It’s Alpha or beta, Sweetie. One or the other. You can’t have both inside the same man. Fantasize all you want, you will never, ever, EVER find a man who is both of those things. You going to have to either pick one of those two and put up with the downsides of each, or stay single for the rest of your life.
Do women acknowledge this? No. Instead, they go on first date, after first date, after first date, looking for Mr. Unicorn Man. They have relationship, after relationship, after relationship, looking for Mr. Submissive Alpha Male.
Women spend DECADES of their lives doing this. I’ve seen them do it. I’m sure you have too. And for some bizarre reason, they never find this guy.
I wonder why?
Because he doesn’t exist, Darling.
If you try to explain to a woman that the Submissive Alpha Male doesn’t exist, women huff and puff and tell you that you don’t know what you’re talking about, and if they just go on enough first dates and have enough boyfriends, eventually they’ll find him. He’s Out There Somewhere™, waiting for me. You’ll see, you’ll see!
Yes, I do see. I see millions of women wasting their 20s, 30s, and often much of their 40s looking for Mr. Unicorn Man only to finally and angrily surrender for a beta or Alpha in their late 40s or early 50s. By then, many of them finally understand that they wasted their lives looking for something that wasn’t real.
Regardless, even these women don’t tell any of the younger women this. Instead, they perpetuate the Submissive Alpha Male fantasy. Just keep looking, they tell younger women, he’s out there somewhere, don’t worry, you’re a good person, so someday you’ll find him. Mr. Unicorn Man, The Tough Masculine Badass Who Follows Your Orders and Never Cheats On You™.
And so the cycle of pain and suffering continues.
One Alternate, Realistic Option
There is one alternate and realistic option where a woman can have both the Disney and obedience of the beta male along with the excitement and passion of the Alpha Male. Have an OLTR Marriage with a beta male and then have sex with Alphas on the side. Many women do this in normal “monogamous” marriage anyway, marrying a pussy beta and then cheating on him with Alphas.
Cheating is messy though, so a much better option is to go the OLTR route. A woman of even moderate physical appearance can quite easily find a beta male who will kiss her ass and pay her bills, and then she can tell him she’s going to discreetly get a little Alpha cock on the side. Betas, being men, won’t like that of course, but they will agree to it. Betas will agree to anything to keep their girl. That’s part of what makes them betas (and why more picky or dominant women like them so much).
I’ve suggested this option to many women I know in my social and work life. As you might imagine, they cringe when I suggest it. It conflicts with too much feminine Societal Programming. Someday women will see the light on this, since this really is a viable option, but I guess today is not that day. The good news is that I have seen a noticeable upswing in the amount of women who are cool with long-term open relationships over the last 10 years or so. The trend is encouraging.
(You may be wondering why I’m not suggesting a woman marry (or cohabit with) an Alpha Male and go have sex with betas on the side. That’s because it’s not the same thing. The benefits a woman receives from a beta male are all non-sexual, so having a beta male or two “on the side” doesn’t make a lot of sense. Though I’m sure one could configure any type of relationship where something like this might work, such as being with an Alpha but getting sex from really good-looking betas on the side.)
Forward this post to any woman you know who is still trying to pursue Mr. Unicorn Man. Maybe you can help save a few women from a lifetime of wasted disappointment.