How To Handle Valentine’s Day
It’s that time of year again!
You know what time it is!
Soon it will be Kiss A Woman’s Ass For Absolutely No Reason Day, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day. Yes, yes indeed. Our favorite day of the year. That wonderful time of year where the woman (or women) in your life cross their arms and glare at you, expecting you to buy them things, take them out, be as creatively romantic as possible, and spend as much money on them as you can. Why? Because the calendar says so.
So shut the fuck up, fork out that wallet, make those restaurant reservations, buy those gifts, get a new dress shirt, get some romantic ideas from YouTube, and get to work on being a submissive beta male. Those Disney fantasies within your special lady (or ladies) aren’t going to satisfy themselves! And hey, those restaurant owners need to buy new Cadillacs. So grow up and be a gentleman, god dammit!
Of course, if you refuse to do this, or if you do it but don’t live up to her Disney / Instagram expectations, then congratulations! You’re officially an Asshole Who Treats Her Like Shit™ and Why Can’t You Be More Like Suzi’s Boyfriend™. Good going, butthole! Say hello to a few days of passive aggressive resentment (if you’re lucky) or full-on drama (if you’re not).
Ah yes. A truly magical time of year.
Can’t you just see all those smiling women and their secretly suicidal husbands? Ah, yes. Nothing quite like societally forced romance to make the sun shine brightly and the birds sing merrily. Truly, there is nothing more romantic than Societal Programming.
Beta males, and those unfortunate Alpha 1.0s who choose to be monogamous, have a relatively easy time figuring out what to do during V-Day. They just go along with the standard be-romantic program. The same is at least partially true of an Alpha 2.0 with a long-term OLTR, but we’ll discuss that more in a minute.
It should go without saying (I hope!) that if you have nothing but FBs and/or low-end MLTRs in your life, you should not be spending time with any of these women on V-Day. Not at all, not in any way.
The best V-Day technique I can possibly give you is to plan ahead and make plans to be busy on Valentine’s Day. You should have a reminder in your calendar on February 1st to start making plans to “be busy” on V-Day. It could be several things:
- Work – Go to a seminar, schedule time with customers or clients, or block out that day to get a big project done. Use V-Day wisely by doing one of the most productive things possible: making money.
- Spend time with family – Schedule the entire day to take your mom out. Or your dad. Or both. Or your kids if you have them.
- Leave town – Book a fun trip to Vegas or something. If you’re tight on cash, schedule a road trip to the beach or to a buddy’s house and spend one night away somewhere. Anywhere.
You get the idea. The point is to have a real excuse to be busy that day, and have that real excuse locked into your schedule at least two weeks in advance.
Never lie to women. Never say you’re “busy” on V-Day when you have nothing to do. That’s childish, silly, and not Alpha. Instead, really go do something fun or productive that doesn’t involve any women in your life.
By the way, “hanging out with your friends” is not a valid excuse. If you avoid a woman asking about V-Day by saying you’re going to be with friends, it will cause hurt feelings at best, drama at worst. Keep it to the three options above: work, family, or be out of town.
When you tell your FBs/MLTRs that you’re busy, and you really are with something they can’t complain about, then trust me, they won’t complain. You might get a little frown but that’s about it. I have personally field tested this numerous times over many years with many women and I’ve never had a problem.
I can’t stress enough about how you must do this at least two weeks in advance. If it’s already February 12th and you’re trying to figure out how to get out of V-Day, you’ve already screwed up. You’re going to be very incongruent when you try to weasel out of it, and if you have even a little bit of oneitis you’re going to fall into her trap and end up spending time with a woman on V-Day you really shouldn’t.
As always, I take my own advice. I have no OLTR or strong OLTR candidate in my life at the moment, so this February 14th, even though it’s a Saturday, I have a business workshop from 9am to 1pm, then I’m going to spend the rest of the day with my daughter. We’re going to see the new Kingsman movie which comes out that weekend, then going to dinner. These events were in my schedule over three weeks ago, on purpose. Boom, done.
Why Not Valentine’s Day? What’s The Big Deal?
Okay, before we continue, let’s deal with the objection that false Societal Programming is now summoning into your mind. I know that some of you will be thinking something like,
Why not spend time with an FB or low-end MLTR on Valentine’s Day? What’s the harm? I’m not going to spend a lot of money on her. She knows I’m fucking other women and I have a strong Alpha EFA. What’s the problem?
If you’re seriously asking that question, you need to go to this blog post right here, scroll down to the FB section, and carefully read the part about the guy wanting to spend money on his FBs because he spends money on his guy buddies. My explanation there applies to V-Day here. Taking an FB, or even a low-end MLTR out on V-Day is very incongruent, will cause drama and confusion, and will end up being harmful to her. Yes, to her.
When Romantic Valentine’s Day Stuff Is Acceptable
Alright, that covers when spending time with a woman on V-Day is a bad idea and how to avoid it. What about if you have a strong OLTR or OLTR Marriage? When is V-Day okay? Is it ever okay?
There are some hardcore men’s rights types out there who strongly believe that spending time with any woman on V-Day is always a bad idea, period, even if she’s your serious, long-term girlfriend or the equivalent. Everyone will have their own opinion on this, but I disagree. There are indeed times where I like being romantic, enjoy taking care of a woman, and think V-Day is just fine. BUT, and this is a big BUT, four criteria must be met before I do this:
1. I have to really, really, really like her. Preferably love her.
2. She has to have been in my life consistently for at least six months with near zero drama and near zero jealousy.
3. She’s an OLTR or at least a strong candidate for it (i.e. very high-end MLTR).
4. We’ve already had “The Talk,” which means she understands that even though I care about her and no one else, I will never be completely sexually monogamous to her. This means that she’s survived “The Talk,” she’s still with me, and she’s still more or less cool about everything.
If a woman meets all four criteria, not some but all four, and only a very few women in my history have, then fine, I have no problem spending time with them on V-Day. I’ve done it before and never had a problem. However, I consider an open/poly Alpha 2.0 spending time with a woman on V-Day as an advanced level of relationship game. Your open/poly EFA must be very strong and 100% rock-solid. This means:
- You’re not going to spend a big pile of money. Going to a nice restaurant and seeing a movie or something is fine. Dressing up in a suit and tie, renting a limo, then taking her shopping, then going to a super expensive restaurant on top of all that, is not fine.
- You don’t use that day to make any new promises or declarations. At the end of V-Day your relationship should be exactly the same as it was that morning.
- No expensive gifts. Girly shit like flowers, perfume, chocolate, candles, or whatever is perfectly fine as long as you don’t go overboard with it. Buying her an $800 dress is not fine.
- No trips. Take her out to somewhere local, within easy driving distance. If you want to have a big romantic trip with her to Paris or Cabo, do that when it’s nowhere near Valentine’s Day.
- Don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t play it up, or take a bunch of photos, or talk about it on Facebook. It’s just a nice date with your special lady. Keep it at that and don’t be a beta.
The bottom line summary is this:
1. Don’t spend V-Day with FBs or low-end MLTRs. Be busy that day, for real.
2. Don’t spend V-Day with a special woman unless she’s been in your life a long time and has a long track record of being very low-drama and low-jealousy. Too many of you bastards will take a woman out on Valentine’s Day after having just started dating her two months ago. No!
3. Keep a strong, Alpha, outcome independent EFA at all times.
Of the above three items, you’re most likely to violate number two. Don’t bullshit yourself about whether or not a woman “qualifies” for V-Day. Most women in your life won’t (unless you have very low standards or you enjoy drama). When in doubt, just say no.
Now go forth and keep your balls.
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.