There is great confusion in society over the word “commitment.”

We think “commitment” is two people promised to each other in a some kind of exclusive and serious relationship. But that’s not really what it means.

What “commitment” really means, especially as women use the word, is this: We stay with each other even if we’re unhappy. The word “commitment” places the status of the relationship as a higher value than the happiness of the two participants

This, of course, is very bad, and the exact opposite of the Alpha Male 2.0 model I discuss so often here. The Alpha Male 2.0 desires long-term, consistent happiness. If a condition in his life changes to make him unhappy, he will reconfigure the condition so he is happy again. If for some reason he can’t do that due to circumstances beyond his control, he will remove himself from that condition. He will not keep sitting around for years and years while suffering unhappiness. That path is for betas and some Alpha 1.0s.

People who follow Societal Programming often try to do the exact opposite of the Alpha 2.0. If they get married (for example) and the marriage beings to make them unhappy for whatever reason, they will try to “fix” it, but if they can’t, they will try to “stick it out,” regardless of how unhappy it makes them. Yes, eventually most of these people get divorced anyway, but only after years and years of needless pain, and those are just the people who get divorced. A 64% real divorce rate means there 36% of people who stay marred forever even when the marriage really sucks. I’m sure you know plenty of older people in this category. I certainly do.

Prior to the 1970s when divorce was either frowned upon or not allowed, this is what many (if not most!) marriages were. They were a mini-prisons where men and women “stuck” with the person they married to whether they liked the person or not, or liked the marriage or not. This mini-prison was (and still is) celebrated, particularly among religious folks and right-wing conservatives. Happiness is not the priority. The continuity of the marriage is. Unhappy with it? Tough shit. Way back when you were young and stupid you made a “commitment.” So stay there and suffer. Forever.

Now let’s get to something very interesting.

Below is an old Barbara Walters interview I spent a few years looking for. I’m amazed I actually found it. I saw it when it originally aired way back in 1992. I was only about 20 years old at the time, but even then the interview give me a strong, nagging feeling that turned out to be correct.

For those of you who don’t know, Kathie Lee Gifford was a big star back in the 90s. She was a corny and perky talk show host on the Regis and Kathie Lee show. She was all over television and the news constantly and you could not avoid her if you tried. She had a big, publicized, Disney marriage to NFL sportscaster and former football player Frank Gifford, a man 23 years older. Never mind the fact that Kathie had already been married once before, Frank had been married twice before, and liked to have sex with married women, including Johnny Carson’s wife.

The video below was filmed after they had been married for six years and had one child. Take a minute and watch it from 2:27 to 6:30 (or watch the entire thing if you like). Pay attention to the awkward body language when Frank talks about being forced to have more kids even though he didn’t want any, then about how his marriage isn’t fun any more since the NRE died, and how great it was when they were first married. Also pay attention to Kathie’s body language as he relaying all this.

Man, so much good stuff in this video. As I said, I picked up on it back when I was just 20 and really see it with clearer eyes 20 years later.

1. When Barbara Walters asks Frank if he wants another child, he pauses, and says, “I know she does.” Yikes. Then Kathie starts crying. “That’s her decision,” he continues.

2. Barbara asks when the best time in their marriage was, she says, “I assume it’s now, right?” Both Kathie and Frank have a very awkward moment, and pause, unable to know what to say. See, now their marriage sucks, or is at least troublesome or boring. Kathie then says that if Frank was being honest, he would say the best time was the first year or two of the marriage, which of course is true. New-marriage NRE is fantastic, and monogamy can be very enjoyable for the first two or three years. After three years…that’s when the happiness begins to end.

See, that’s what everyone fantasizes about when they’re single: the first two or three years of everything. The engagement. The engagement ring. Announcing everything on Facebook. The prep for the wedding. The wedding dress. Sending out the invitations. The bachelor and bachelorette parties. The wedding. The honeymoon. Moving in together. Having that first baby.

That’s the fun part. That’s the part everyone wants. The problem is that’s just the first two years or so. The rest of the marriage, the other 45 years, sucks ass. Getting married is wonderful and exciting. Being married (past the first three years) is a huge amount of work, very little results for massive sacrifices, and quite boring. When single people fantasize about marriage, 100% of that fantasy is shit that’s going to be over with within the first two or three years. No single guy fantasizes with joy about someday trying to have sex with his frigid, overweight wife of 17 years, just like no single woman fantasizes with excitement about arguing about the checkbook or cleaning her husband’s poop-stained underwear for the next 40 years of her life. Yet that’s exactly what a “successful” marriage is, not the honeymoon or the wedding.

3. Frank complains (though in a nice, plastic interview style) that he wanted Kathie to stop working. You can tell he clearly still wants her to stop working. Then he says, “That’s something you want when you’re wildly and crazy in love,” the implication being that he’s no longer wildly and crazy in love. No, now he’s past the three-year mark in his marriage (they were married in 1986 and it’s now 1992, so it’s been six years), and now the boring, long slog of traditional monogamous marriage begins. It’s not fun or exciting anymore.

4. When Barbara asks how he likes it now that Kathie is doing “everything,” such as a show, a book, public appearances, a dress line, etc, he replies, “I don’t like it, just like her having a baby.” Ouch. Does he sound happy?

5. Kathie retorts that she’s trying to “fulfill the commitments I made before I was pregnant.” Ah, there’s that word again. Commitment. Watch Frank’s body language (a big doubting smile) as she says this. Barbara then asks, “Do we all believe her?”

Frank answers, “No.”

I sat there back in 1992, a no-nothing 20 year-old kid, watching this interview, and I remember thinking to myself, “This marriage is headed for a big fall. This guy hates being married to this woman. He’s having kids he doesn’t want and is married to a woman who happy doing all kind of crap he doesn’t want her to do. This is not a happy marriage. He hates it, she dosn’t give a shit, and these two people are screwed.”

Well, I was right. Those of you my age and live in the US already know the rest of the story. Kathie had another baby a year after this interview, despite the fact Frank clearly didn’t want any more kids.

(By the way, let’s have a man moment. If you’re interested, that baby, Cassidy Gifford, grew up to look like this:)

Cassidy Gifford

Alrightee.

But that’s not the end of the story. Just four years after that, Frank Gifford was caught on videotape having sex with a flight attendant in a seedy motel. She was actually paid money by a tabloid to lure Frank into sex. Since Frank was in a shitty, soul-sucking marriage, she succeeded quite easily.

It was a huge tabloid scandal for a long time. This wonderful perfect Disney marriage! Soiled! Kathie was shocked, shocked! She was humiliated. Everyone said Frank was an Evil Asshole™. Kathie kicked Frank out of course, and everyone supported her. You go girl!

I remember thinking, “Why is this such a surprise to everyone? Didn’t anyone see that interview back in 1992?”

Yet, after about a year or so, Kathie shocked everyone by “accepting him back” for the “good of the kids” and the “commitment we made together.”

Commitment. There’s that word again.

Kathie and Frank then both retreated from the spotlight. Probably a good idea.

Guess what? Kathie and Frank are still together today. A 28 year marriage! Wow! What an accomplishment! Great job, guys!

Is it a successful marriage? Societal Programming would say absolutely yes. People into “commitment” would certainly say yes. But reality would say no. Frank was a high sex drive Alpha Male who cheated at least once that we know of, which means there were likely many others.

Is a marriage “successful” when it isn’t even monogamous because one or both spouses are cheating?

Is a marriage “successful” when one person (or maybe both people) are in it not because they want to be in it, but because they feel trapped because of their age, social standing, or other factors?

That’s not all. As you can tell from the photo at the top of this post, today Frank’s a very old man (84), locked into a marriage that, for a long time at least, he really didn’t like. Kathie is still married to a man who cheated on her and humiliated her. Since 1997, whenever anyone heard their names or saw their pictures, all they remembered was Frank doing that big-breasted stewardess in that cheap hotel, and Kathie knows it.

Societal Programming says to look at long-term marriages were people don’t get divorced and celebrate those. Don’t pay attention to the fact that the marriage isn’t good any more. Don’t pay attention to the fact that one or both spouses aren’t happy any more. Don’t pay attention that one or both spouses have repeatedly cheated on the other (which means the marriage is not monogamous; they should have gone with an OLTR marriage instead). Don’t pay attention to the fact that statistically speaking, the woman wouldn’t re-marry the man if she could do it all over again (as I discussed in one of my podcasts).

No no no, don’t look at any of that stuff. Just look at the fact that they never got divorced. No divorce automatically equals successful marriage.

But does it?

Really?

41 Comments on “What The Word “Commitment” Really Means

  1. I don’t understand why people want to get married so badly. I guess beta guys do it because they feel whoever they marry is the best they can do, while alpha guys don’t want her sleeping around or view finding more women too much work, but those seem like pretty weak reasons to me.

    Why did you get married? From what you’ve said, it seems like you understood a lot of this stuff even before you got married, so what was your justification?

  2. “That’s the fun part. That’s the part everyone wants. ”

    Everyone minus Maldek. Horrible. I HATE all of these things.

    The engagement ring. -> costs something, useless item
    Announcing everything on Facebook. -> Thank god I am too old for that, but i would never do something like that ever. What about privacy?
    The prep for the wedding. The wedding dress. Sending out the invitations. -> more costs, no fun, useless waste of time, money and energy
    The bachelor and bachelorette parties. -> female bachelorette is gay. for men well if you like sex with prostitutes I guess it has something going for it.
    The wedding. The honeymoon. -> more costs, more waste of time. hate all this.

    Moving in together. Having that first baby. -> Now this is the interesting part.
    NEVER marry a women you have not lived with for several MONTHS at the very least.
    NEVER have a baby with a woman you have not lived with for several YEARS.

  3. “No single guy fantasizes with joy about someday trying to have sex with his frigid, overweight wife of 17 years, ”

    No guy minus Maldek.
    Why would you marry a women who is frigid or overweight?

    If you did marry a sex-positive and hot wife it is your responsibility as a husband to not let her become overweight in the first place. Just like an open relationship from the alpha 2.0 book, you have to make these things clear from the beginning.

    She has to keep her looks top and this wont change after 5, 10 or 20 years. If she is not ok with that she is free to leave. But make it clear that this is a must.

    Same goes for sex. No sexy 25yo becomes a frigid 35yo without reason. If you got her hot and sexy it has maybe something to do with you (or lack of children) if that condition does change. 2-3 times sex a week is a baseline to be respected each and every single week. (unless there is a medical reason, like after a child. But then there is her mouth or backdoor you could use if you wanted. Note: If YOU wanted; you say what you want and she does it)

    “hat he wanted Kathie to stop working. ”
    -> This is another biggy you have to make very clear FROM THE START.
    If the two of you are having children it is HER duty to clean the poop and stay at home. Period, not negotiable.

    This is all before living with her, long before marriage but after she has qualified as potential LTR. You do not talk about these things within the first few weeks. You fuck her for months, she qualified and THEN you have the talk.

    Note: It is interesting how my experience and some things from BDs open relationship/2.0 books match even though i have been with my wife over 20 years and we have 3 kids in an alpha 1.0 frame; maybe 50% alpha man 2.0 book style.

    Some things we see very differently (like the importance of happiness, I am fine beeing less happy at times if i get something else) – other things I can only confirm are 100% my own experience as well. Like having a talk at the right time. Shame

    PS: For the american readers who are 100% disney. Both my wife and I had other sex-parnters in these 20 years. A good example for monogamy we are not.

    PPS: BD if you ever get OLTR + MLTR (instead of FB) working it would be a book I loved to buy.

  4. Why did you get married? From what you’ve said, it seems like you understood a lot of this stuff even before you got married, so what was your justification?

    Back when I was 24 years old I was under the common misconception that “I must be married and monogamous in order to have kids.” I really wanted children and didn’t know of any other way to do it. Of course, now I know. 🙂

    Why would you marry a women who is frigid or overweight?

    She’s hot and sexual when you marry her and becomes overweight and/or nonsexual over time. It’s the standard deal in the Western world. Are there rare exceptions to the rule? Sure, but you don’t know when you marry her if she’s one of the exceptions or not. You have to marry her and wait 10-20 years to find out. No thanks.

    If you did marry a sex-positive and hot wife it is your responsibility as a husband to not let her become overweight in the first place.

    You’re going to follow her around 24/7 for the rest of your life and monitor what she puts in her mouth?

    If she wants to start eating whatever she wants, she’s going to do it regardless of your lectures or threats. Sex positive hot wives become fat all the time. It might take 20 years in some cases, but it usually happens (in the Western world). Just look at what happened to poor Pierce Brosnan.

    The rest of your post is classic Alpha Male 1.0, so I won’t comment on it since I would just be repeating myself (You’re going to FORCE her to have sex with you all the time? How? You’re going to FORCE her to not work? How? You’re going to assume she’ll never change her mind on what she promises pre-marriage? Really? Etc.)

    Both my wife and I had other sex-parnters in these 20 years.

    Yep. You’re an Alpha Male (1.0) and Alpha Males are never long-term monogamous. Long-term Alpha Male monogamy is a myth. You’ll either cheat, convert to an open marriage, or get divorced.

    BD if you ever get OLTR + MLTR (instead of FB) working it would be a book I loved to buy.

    You can’t have an OLTR and an MLTR at the same time. That would negate the OLTR.

    I had an OLTR(ish) relationship for several years, but per the OLTR structure all other women at that time were FBs, not MLTRs. If you have an “OLTR” and an MLTR on the side, then your “OLTR” really isn’t an OLTR; she’s just your favorite MLTR.

  5. Over the holidays I went home to visit my parents, and it was very sad to see how unhappy they are. I love them both, but to see how miserable they seem together is heart breaking.

    I think the purpose of “commitment” and a lot of societal programming is to turn men into mules who will work to support others until they die. Unfortunately, the ones they support and take care of rarely appreciate it.

  6. The problem with unhappily marrieds taking your advice and getting divorced is that you are implicitly assuming these people’s lives will in fact be improved by a divorce. I do not see improvement happening for many people. Fact is, many unhappily married people are incapable of being happy as singles, marrieds or just dating. Just picture the average out of shape, overweight American. Will divorce really do that much to improve their lives?

    I will not go so far as to advocate for marriage. But I do believe that BD is assuming way to much by thinking that divorcing out of an unhappy marriage will improve their happiness quotient.

  7. Wow so many intelligent men on one website with obvious insight. It’s so nice to read your posts and your readers comments compared to the other red pill websites I’ve visited and run back out of.

    b@maldek, you sound very hot to me. I love how you see things. It’s very similar to the way I do. If you like the picture of their daughter (above) you’ll definitely like me lol (just incase you get bored of a LTR with your wife) kidding people but seriously what starsign are you?

    BD, you seem to think that everyone is either divorced (64% as claimed by you) or in unhappy marriages (34% as claimed by you in this article) with nothing in between. Huh? Is everything black and white for you?

    You may be right that there are many (not everyone left married) people who base success on maintaining their unhappy marriages but that was more in the 70’s now. It appears 64% of people don’t stay in unhappy marriages and divorce according to your stats, most leave unless they are in very religious groups and are basically forced by their culture to stay in their “mini prisons”. Could it be that the others are actually very happy???

    I see life through a different lense than you but that doesn’t mean your perception is wrong or I’m right just like it doesn’t mean all men are unhappy with one woman. I witness very happy men and women in long term relationships. Both live up to each others desires (hot wife, fun husband). If a wife is getting fat, have a look in the mirror, the husband likely very dull and boring and she is emotionally eating because she’s substituting the love you gave her in the first three years for food. He is the leader, yes he needs to keep him pride in check. That’s his role as Captain.

    Furthermore in defence of these “Beta’s”, in real life, I see many men that the red pillers define as pussys because they aren’t assholes but they are in very happy marriages. I see it because I know their sexy wives are happy fucking them. If a woman is having passionate sex with her husband years later then who cares if he’s beta or alpha (it’s just a term, it doesn’t mean he is happy), he might enjoy being beta with a woman who’s a little more masculine. He might enjoy being submissive. I personally don’t find push overs or assholes the least bit sexy, Beta and Alpha’s suck! Tell me more about these Omegas please! They sound like the balanced happy guys.

  8. The problem with unhappily marrieds taking your advice and getting divorced

    My advice is not to “get divorced.” I’m against marriage therefore I can’t recommend divorce either. My advice is:

    1. Don’t get into situations where you have to adhere to Societal Programming’s concept of “commitment.” Don’t get legally married, don’t promise absolute sexual monogamy, don’t combine your finances with a woman, etc. These things will likely make you unhappy down the road.

    2. If you find yourself in a situation, i.e. a relationship/marriage where you are unhappy, take action and change things so you’ll be happy again. Don’t surrender to your unhappiness just because you “made a commitment.” Do your best to turn things around.

    3. If you can’t turn things around despite your best efforts and you’re still unhappy, then yes, next. And learn from your mistake so you don’t do this again.

    is that you are implicitly assuming these people’s lives will in fact be improved by a divorce. I do not see improvement happening for many people.

    I do.

    Most men I have known personally or spoken to who got divorced were noticeably happier once the divorce was over and they moved on with their lives. This includes overweight betas.

    As a matter of fact, I had to think very hard about any men I’ve known who were truly UNhappier after once the legal drama of the divorce was all over. I came up with a grand total of two.

    So yes, based on my rather large sample size, I have no problem declaring that most men (not all, but most) will indeed be less unhappy post-divorce than suffering through a shitty marriage.

    Again though, the goal should be to never get divorced because you were never dumb enough to get legally married and monogamous in the first place.

  9. BD, you seem to think that everyone is either divorced (64% as claimed by you) or in unhappy marriages (34% as claimed by you in this article) with nothing in between.

    I realize the above article may imply that, but that’s not what I think of course. 13% of people who get married do indeed stay married AND happy. More information on that here. 13% sucks pretty bad though. Better to not go that route at all, and do an OLTR or OLTR marriage if you want to live with a woman and/or have kids.

    If a wife is getting fat, have a look in the mirror, the husband likely very dull and boring and she is emotionally eating because she’s substituting the love you gave her in the first three years for food.

    Oh yes, of course. If your wife gains weight it’s your fault as a man. I wonder why South American wives and native Asian wives don’t gain weight like Western wives do then? Hm…

  10. So why write 34% are in unhappy marriages if that’s not true? Many people are lost and are impressionable, you have a responsibility to your readers particularly those buying your books.

    To answer your question BD, that’s because South America’s culture is about fun and connection as opposed to working to their deathbed. I believe their culture is community based and the men attend to their women emotionally (maybe because they don’t spend hours in an office and replace giving their women stuff for giving their women love).

    Yes a man is the leader of the relationship. You can’t claim to be an alpha 2.0 and yet let someone else lead the relationship, what makes an alpha is his ability to handle life for his family. Pick a role and handle the responsibilities. You can’t be alpha 2.0 and yet be beta when it comes to the relationship, that’s just Peter Panning. At first you stuck me as very alpha but now I question why would you buckle at the thought of handling your relationship issues?

    Asian women in the west are indeed getting very fat. Have a look around. I know Australia is full of fat Asian women.

  11. So why write 34% are in unhappy marriages if that’s not true?

    I didn’t write that. Go back and slowly re-read what I said in the post.

    that’s because South America’s culture is about fun and connection as opposed to working to their deathbed

    Which has nothing to do with husbands allowing or stopping their women from getting fat. Exactly my point.

    Yes a man is the leader of the relationship.

    I didn’t say he wasn’t. I said no man has the ability to follow his wife around 24/7 and monitor what she eats. If a wife really wants to start eating whatever she wants, and most Western married women eventually do, then trust me, she will, no matter how Alpha or badass her husband is.

    I know a few married Alphas who had wives who gained weight. They eventually divorced their fat wives, thus again proving my point about the wisdom of getting A) married and B) monogamous.

    Asian women in the west are indeed getting very fat. Have a look around. I know Australia is full of fat Asian women.

    That’s why I said native Asian women, meaning Asian women who live in Asia. I’m not talking about Asian women who live in the West (like Australia). Like you said, they get fat. Western culture promotes it. Especially among married women who know they’ll cash in if their mono-husbands ever divorce them. Especially in sad Australia where prenuptial agreements aren’t even enforced.

  12. @Le peitie princess
    “To answer your question BD, that’s because South America’s culture is about fun and connection as opposed to working to their deathbed. I believe their culture is community based and the men attend to their women emotionally (maybe because they don’t spend hours in an office and replace giving their women stuff for giving their women love).”

    Really not true! That’s a common misconception ’cause we also work our butts off all year long down here. I’ll give you thought two real reasons as why we seem more happy to you: the general higher sex drive of latins and the hot climate 😉

    Also you don’t usually get fat on hot places because you have to expose your body a lot (or become some kind of social outcast). This makes the competition extra hard! If people around you are fat you really don’t care, but if everyone is in shape and showing off it puts a lot of pressure on you to have at least an average-looking frame.

  13. The problem I have with always pursuing happiness, as prescribed in the Alpha Male 2.0 book, is that the party eventually crashes in front of you, just like the marriage that turns sour.

    From the desk of Mr. Mean Spirited:
    Where the fuck did you ever get the idea that you are supposed to enjoy life? Anything that is not going to allow you to make it out alive certainly won’t be very enjoyable along the way. Any existence that has every creature dying from disease or injury will obviously not have any genuine happiness for the duration. Anything that has you dead when it is all-seen-and-done surely won’t be much fun for the lifespan.

    Think of it like this: life is a bit like an airplane flight – it doesn’t matter if you fly first-class or coach; it doesn’t matter if you join the mile-high club en route; it doesn’t matter how many perks you get while the airliner is in the sky if you still know that you are going to crash and burn upon landing. It doesn’t matter what you might have done on your vacation – look, if you die in an accident at the end, it wasn’t a good trip. If you know with dead certainty that you are not going to make it out alive, then only an idiot would enjoy himself along the ride.

    Imagine it like this: if you end-up expiring after eating the final course at a five-star restaurant, it doesn’t matter if you just consumed the most gourmet dinner in the world. If you die of food poisoning after shoving the ingredients into your mouth, it doesn’t matter how wonderful the fixings. It doesn’t matter how many truffles you were able to stuff down your throat – you’re still going to have a bad taste in your mouth. If you ending up lying face down in the pasta, you didn’t have a very good meal. But it gets worse, if you know for certain you are going to die at the last course, only someone mentally ill is going to enjoy the supper.

    Look at it like this: if your latest fornication leaves you infected with AIDS, it doesn’t matter what you did in bed, it still wasn’t a good fuck. If you end up with an incurable disease from your last copulation, it doesn’t matter how many sexual fantasies you might have fulfilled, things didn’t go well in the real-world insertion. If you know the sex is going to be deadly, then only a fool is going to be enjoying the sensations.

    Let me put it to you like this: it doesn’t matter how many good times you imagine you might have had in a marriage; if your spouse kills you while you sleep, it wasn’t a very healthy relationship. Only someone with mental issues would tell you to focus on the good times. Only a very sick mind would tell you enjoy each day as it comes.

    To think that happiness is the objective of life is a deluded way of living. If you know that you are going to die no matter what, then happiness in life is a form of mental illness. The part about moldering in the grave is going to put a damper on everything that comes before. If you know that it is all going to end in a coffin no matter what, then it doesn’t make sense to enjoy any of the outdoor exercise you had while digging your own grave.

  14. Please keep your nihilistic garbage off my blog. If you want to think that the purpose of life is to be depressed (or neutral) because you’ll die in 50 years, then great, go away and be depressed, but do it somewhere else. Thanks.

  15. VERY SIMPLE SAID “”Think of it like this: life is a bit like an airplane flight – it doesn’t matter if you fly first-class or coach; it doesn’t matter if you join the mile-high club en route; it doesn’t matter how many perks you get while the airliner is in the sky if you still know that you are going to crash and burn upon landing.””

    AKA SAYS, your philosophy makes no sense to me. Look, we are all going to die. I would much rather have an enjoyable life on the way to that death, no matter when it happens. Why put yourself thru misery in your time on earth when you could be enjoying that time instead? I might die next week, but I can at least have fun in the meantime.

  16. ok, i just finished reading the AMB and the one thing i struggle with is your endorsement of the 2.0 lifestyle because of marriage statistics (you cite them here in this article) but then you suggest starting your own business despite the low numbers associated with success rates in that area. i see this as inconsistent. if you need me to expand I can, but my main issue is just how you endorse one low-percentage venture and bash the other.

  17. I don’t think that is a sufficient response because it’s no different than saying “here is a 10-step plan to becoming a professional football player, follow these steps.” The reality is that 100 athletes can all train the same, etc. etc. and yet most won’t make it to college, let alone the pros. It’s the same with business: those who make it get lucky along the way. It might be a connection or a loan, etc. Your system Blackdragon appears to be as follows: this is what worked for me, study it, practice, and it will work for you too. But as I stated above, that’s just not how things work. If it was, there would be no risk, no failure, because everyone would be able to do the same thing and succeed. Hell, you yourself would be able to start businesses very easily whenever you pleased, but as every entrepreneur knows, that’s now how it works. Think about it: out of all the people who read your book, how many will start successful businesses? I’m pretty sure this is the same phenomenon as the football example, albeit it’s easier to start a business than become a pro athlete, but the same economic forces are at work. And this applies to marriage as well: the successful marriages get lucky along the way, whatever “luck” it may be. So we’re back to my original point: you’re suggesting one path with high failure rates and not the other. How come? I’m pretty sure this just comes down to your personal experience.

  18. This is way off topic for this article, but I will indulge your question for one comment only.

    The failure rate of new businesses is very high, 80%-90% or so. But what most don’t know is the failure rate for new businesses started by someone who already has run a successful business is only about 15%. I had some links once explaining this; can’t seem to locate them but you can Google around if you don’t believe me.

    This is because most people who start businesses don’t know anything about business. They’re just really excited about their widget, which has nothing to do with running a successful business.

    Your system Blackdragon appears to be as follows: this is what worked for me, study it, practice, and it will work for you too. But as I stated above, that’s just not how things work.

    My friend, that is exactly how it works, in business (not in marriage or getting famous or anything like that). I started my business at age 24 and got to six figures within three years because I read over 600 books on business before starting it and copied exactly what other prior successful business owners did before me. People who start businesses don’t do any of that. They get excited, wing it, and go out of business.

    Hell, you yourself would be able to start businesses very easily whenever you pleased, but as every entrepreneur knows, that’s now how it works.

    Actually, that’s exactly how it works. I started a new business two years ago, from scratch, (nothing to do with Blackdragon) and started making a profit almost immediately. Today it’s my most profitable business by far, even more than selling ebooks here which is pretty damn profitable.

    So yes, I can indeed start a business whenever I want and start making money at it, because I’ve done it before many times and know how to do it. My only constraints are my no-employees rule and the relatively low number of hours per week I choose to work. (Which is why you don’t see me starting 20 companies; I don’t want to work 70 hours a week and I don’t want to hire anyone.)

    And again, I am in 100% control over my three businesses. There is no single external person called a “wife” who can instantly shut down my companies because she wakes up one morning and decides she doesn’t want to play any more. But with a marriage, that’s exactly how it works. As I said in the link that you said wasn’t a sufficient response, with a marriage, 50 friggin’ percent of your success is all wrapped up in some woman who can change her mind at any time, which she is biologically wired to do by the way, no matter how skilled you are at marriage or being a husband.

    There. Is. No. Comparison.

    (Nor can it be compared to being a famous rock star or Olympic gold medalist or NFL superstar, since there can only be a tiny handful of those types of people in the world per year, which, like marriage, means that even if you’re awesome you still probably won’t succeed. This does not apply to small business; there can be millions upon millions of successful business owners in a year, no problem. In small business your success isn’t limited by the number of available success “slots”; in pro sports it absolutely is.)

  19. @Nihilist: So how much is Rockefeller paying you for this?

    Hmm, let’s see, environmentalist hysteria doesn’t seem to work, and war doesn’t seem to work. I guess we’ll try starvation and disease for the third world and depression/nihilism for the first world. Alright let’s get on it!

    Is the world population at 500 million yet? No? Well keep trying, I guess. LOL!

  20. POB, you’re South American, aha, now that explains why you were so welcoming of me when I first joined this mans club.

    I guess you know you’re own country better than me but don’t think for a second that the hotter the country the slimmer the people. I live in Australia, it’s one very hot island and we have more fat people per capita than America.

    You may be onto something here POB regarding the high libido’s, I was in a relationship for 8 years (he passed away at age 25) and we had sex at least once or twice a day everyday except when we were sick. We both had insatiable sexual appetites well beyond the first few years when most couples sexual desires were decreasing. I think you may have found the answer to picking the right person for you but if women’s sexual desire is increased during the first few stages and mens are reduced (google it) then how can one determine if our sexual appetites are on par before getting attached?

  21. After reading that last response, you’ve lost my support. You don’t speak like an Alpha, you are emotional and not logical or rational. I can’t look up to you anymore now that you’re behaving like another woman. If I wanted to seek out the guidance of a feminist lesbian (which is what you are promoting) I’d seek Germaine Greer.

    You are promoting a poly lifestyle in a monogamous society. I’m trying to see if there are any other options because I’m pretty sure not many women will play the game a player like yourself is trying to advocate. I’ve met (and drooled) after Alpha’s. I know him and I want to be his support, to look up to him and admire and desire him. I’m craving him like millions of other women are. He is the leader of the pack and we all want to be his only woman.

    Poly relationships are only suitable for the cads, the players, he’s not alpha, he is Peter Pan, he lacks the gumption to even be responsible for his wife’s weight gain (it’s called an ultimatum BTW as described by one of your sexy readers). He wants someone smart as well as beautiful. Real alpha’s don’t want to share their women. I would prefer an Alpha 1.0 as opposed to an Alpha 2.0, at least the former offers monogamy, at least he doesn’t want to share me, nothing grosses me out more than a man who doesn’t care to know who his baby really belongs to. That’s weak!

    I’m leaving this site as I’m searching for a man who doesn’t want me to enjoy two or more dicks. I want a man who finds my loyalty supreme and desired. That’s my strength, keeping my legs closed except for the man who loves me. Alpha 2.0 seems to want me to be a slut. Yuck. Outta here

    Just for the record in Australia a man who takes his children 50/50 will take 50% of the assets. He very likely keeps all his assets before entering the relationship, that’s why a prenup is almost void here. Each case differs but that’s the basis behind it.

  22. I would prefer an Alpha 1.0 as opposed to an Alpha 2.0, at least the former offers monogamy

    No, Alpha 1.0s don’t do monogamy. They promise monogamy and then cheat on you behind your back (unless the relationship is very short). Cheating isn’t monogamy, since you’re fucking multiple people.

    And an Alpha 2.0 isn’t going to force you to fuck other guys. You can if you want, and if you don’t want to, that’s awesome too.

    But I realize that some women prefer either short-term relationships or the drama of being lied to and cheated on more than being in an honest nonmonogamous relationship. If that’s you, then yes, go for Alpha 1.0s. Alpha 2.0s don’t cheat, because cheating is drama, thus unhappiness.

    Just for the record in Australia a man who takes his children 50/50 will take 50% of the assets.

    The problem is the reverse is also true. A woman divorcing a man, even if he doesn’t want a divorce, can take 50% of his assets if she pushes for it. Thus the need for countries allow for enforceable prenuptial agreements if people want them. People getting married should have the freedom to decide what happens to the assetts as a couple, if there is a divorce down the road, without the government forcing its arbitrary will upon them.

  23. If I had to chose between player 1.0 who is monogamous but ends up cheating or player 2.0 who is a cad upfront, I wouldn’t engage in either! I dislike drama and both provide that drama. I have too much self respect for my body, mind and soul to even consider either (if I could forsee such men).

    When I get down on my knees to worship my mans cock, I do so because I adore him and he is protective of me and wouldn’t want me with others.

    I couldn’t possibly admire either of the above mentioned BD, it’s just not me and this blog isn’t me anymore. I’d prefer Alpha 3.0, he is monogamous, if later down the road he needs variety, he could turn to me and we would come up with a solution for him only, one that we were both comfortable and happy with. If not then we end it. Simple, no drama.

    A poly relationship is rife with jealousy which is the worst drama. I don’t know about you but if someone is sharing themselves with several people I wont open up and be the loving and submissive girlfriend I was with my one and only past boyfriend. My guards would be up, I’d be less than receptive and I wont connect intimately like I would with the “good/nice guy”. I don’t care what red pillers say in their little cultist online world, in reality good women like myself absolutely adore nice guys. Alphas are nice guys despite what you’ve read, they dominate other men with warmth and leadership. I’ve never seen an intelligent woman go gaga over an asshole.

    BD, thank you for constantly responding to my messages, that I appreciate you for. I know it takes a lot of time to run a blog and respond to your readers but Asshole 2.0 is not for me (yes I’m highly emotional, sorry).

    Send me an email if you ever write about Alpha 3.0

  24. And in case you wanted to know about our “enforceable” prenups in Australia, here’s some info that may help you sleep at night if you ever married me (just for the record I’m definite I have more assets than you) 😛

    Prenuptial agreements are Binding Financial Agreements created prior to marriage. Such agreements became enforceable in Australian in the year 2000, following the enactment of the Family Law Amendment Act 2000.

  25. @Princess: That name really suits you because all you want to do is be worshipped. You want a man to pedestal you by hoarding you from other men, like you’re his rare and precious diamond possession that no one but him can have. Alpha 1.0s definitely worship and pedestal women just like that with all their monogamy and “no woman of mine is going to…” crap! By showing that he is jealous, you may exploit and manipulate him.

    So yeah, go for Maldek.

    Does Maldek worship and pedestal women by hoarding them from other men? Check.

    Is he a slut shamer? Check.

    Does he have a purity fetish? Check.

    Does he insist on financially enslaving himself and his bank account to another adult? Check.

    Can he be manipulated with jealousy (translation into woman-speak: does he care about me?)? Check.

    Well, I guess you have the perfect man then. Except he will fuck other women behind your back, so that won’t satisfy you either. And the betas are just too pussy for you. Hmmm. Like BD said, you, like most women, want “the submissive alpha,” a fictional character that women have created to satisfy their Disney fantasies in between reading romance novels and 50 Shades of Grey.

    Monogamy doesn’t work, sweetheart! But good luck with it anyway.

    Oh, and your slut shaming is pathetically transparent. You shame “sluts” because you want your man to pedestal you. The red pill is definitely not for you. Bye.

  26. And another thing, Princess: Who said that alpha 2.0s don’t care who’s baby it is? Both BD and myself think that paternity tests should be legally required at birth!

  27. @LPP ‘I’ve never seen an intelligent woman go gaga over an asshole.’

    Well you obviously haven’t been around many intelligent women then as I see it all the time. For example one very attractive 23 year old I know (has a Masters degree) is currently fucking an Alpha asshole (mid 40’s) who has told her he is also fucking several other women and will continue to do so. And yet she told me she was ‘head over heels in love’ with him.

  28. The Princess calls betas “Alpha 3.0”. “Alpha 3.0” don’t exist. The Princess calls Alphas “playas” and cads because they know what they want out of life and they have no intention of being sexually, financially, and perhaps emotionally enslaved to a woman and the lie of monogamous “love”. The Princess I believe denounced MGTOWs (in a previous comments section) as women haters because they have no desire to buy into the lie of monogamous “love” anymore then the PUAs do. Women and society have tried to sell men a bill of goods and men are waking up to the fact that promiscuity is more rewarding than monogamous “love” ever has been or ever will be. And if a man (strangely) doesn’t want dreamy polyamory or doesn’t think he can bull it off, he wants to free of an oppressive parasitic relationship (MGTOW).

  29. I also agree with Jack Outside The Box and our host that paternity tests ought to be mandatory at birth and no man should ever be forced to pay for a child that isn’t his!

  30. She’s the typical young cute girl who loves serial monogamy. “Be monogamous to me until I decide to dump you.” Her relationships will look like this and her eventual marriages will look like this.

    It’s normal.

    Prenuptial agreements are Binding Financial Agreements created prior to marriage.

    And they’re not enforceable worth a shit, even after the year 2000. There are mountains of restrictions upon then and they are very easily challenged in court by any woman who wants cash. Yes Australia has them, but they’re not effective like they are in most parts of the USA. More details here.

    As I’ve said many times, Australia, like places such as California or England, are regions were prenups are not truly enforceable. Australian men, if you live in Australia, DON’T GET LEGALLY MARRIED. Instead, study up on your co-habitation and child support laws and just move in with her. NO MARRIAGE unless you want to move to a part of the world where prenups truly protect your hard-earned finances.

  31. Speaking of prenups, divorces, etc.

    Jeremy Renner’s wife filed for divorce after less than one year of marriage. She’s asking for custody, spousal support, AND to have the prenup she signed invalidated due to some unspecified “fraud.”

    She’s also asking for her passport back. Whether he’s actually being a dick about that or if she just wants it look that way remains to be seen.

    I give him credit for getting a prenup, but even so, 40 something celebrities should know better than to marry 20 something models. It’s not like the outcome is a surprise – especially since they broke up around the time she got pregnant and locked in child support.

    Now what were we talking about again? Oh yeah! Commitment 😕

  32. Jeremy Renner’s wife filed for divorce after less than one year of marriage. She’s asking for custody, spousal support, AND to have the prenup she signed invalidated due to some unspecified “fraud.”

    A few guys emailed me about that. Just more of the same.

    I give him credit for getting a prenup, but even so, 40 something celebrities should know better than to marry 20 something models. It’s not like the outcome is a surprise – especially since they broke up around the time she got pregnant and locked in child support.

    The problem is that men really like to get married, even when it doesn’t make any fucking sense.

    Like you said, at least he got a prenup. Most older guys who marry younger women don’t even do that. Even if it’s their 2nd marriage.

  33. I think the weapon a great many women use is children. Women tend to say that, after they have gotten pregnant, the man needs to marrying them or else the child will grow up pathological like the tradcons claim. Yet when the woman later frivorces the man for cash and prices she suddenly couldn’t care less how that emotionally effects the child. Likewise, when a red pill man refuses to marry such a woman she then tries to mess with his seeing the child and poison that relationship.

  34. @Le Petit Princess
    If you’re still around I’ll try my best to look past your ridiculous men rant and answer you in a calm and honest way (yes, i’m a very patient dude).

    1) Regarding sexual desire and the constant strive to be in shape and be more desirable to the opposite sex, I think the combination of latin blood and hot weather is the key here. Most anglos just don’t have it, at least not with the same passion as we do, even if they live in hot places such as Australia.

    2) as an Alpha 2.0 (former beta and former Alpha 1.0) I’ll tell you from the bottom of my heart that nothing gets me more sad than see a woman suffering because of me. And by that I mean real suffering, which is completely different from 99% of the bullshit you girls throw at us thinking (wrongly) “i’m hurt”, “he doesn’t care about how I feel” or some similar crap.

    3) @Jack Outside the Box nailed it when he said that you (and a lot of girls) need to be put on a pedestal to feel good about yourselves. The funny part is that at the same time girls strive constantly to find an Alpha who can truly satisfy them (not only sexually, but also emotionally). True Alphas 2.0s don’t build pedestals, they’ll just be honest with you about what they want, whether you like it or not.

    4) BD already said it 1000 times here, but I’ll repeat: Alphas ARE NOT monogamous beings. You’ll have to accept that no matter what you say. If you don’t believe us you’re welcome to fill your life with cheating, drama and/or boredom, because after the passion fades every 1.0 will either:
    – dump you
    – cheat on your ass or
    – become a beta who’ll be bored with
    Your choice.

    5) Every girl I’ve been with after I got rid of the monogamy crap knows at least on some level that I’m not monogamous with them. Even so everytime we’re together we have a great time, talk a lot about important topics of life, have really nice meals AND a lot of awesome sex at my place. What’s wrong with that?

    If you think hard enough and be completely honest with yourself you’ll see that what would really matter to you, according to your point of view, is that we should:
    – be kissing your ass,
    – be living together in your fantasy castle,
    – be supportive about every mistake you do with your life (including a crap marriage with kids)
    But at the same time we should:
    – be fit, good-looking and awesome in bed
    – make your friends jelous
    – always listen to what you say, no matter what

    My final point is that you should accept reality, seek your happiness the best way you can and stop looking for this Alpha/beta hermafrodite that DOES NOT EXIST.

  35. No. Marriage is not fun. It’s an investment and the return is having somebody who will put up with your old, balding fat ass when you’re in your Golden Years. If you don’t want to die alone you get married and have kids. That’s the only reason to do either.

  36. It’s an investment and the return is having somebody who will put up with your old, balding fat ass when you’re in your Golden Years. If you don’t want to die alone you get married and have kids.

    Nope. It doesn’t work that way any more. Read excuse number 1 right here.

  37. @Le Petite Princess: “Asshole 2.0 is not for me (yes I’m highly emotional, sorry).”

    Yeah, you are highly emotional = high drama. Don’t be sorry! Being sorry doesn’t fix anything lol.

Leave a Reply

To leave a comment, enter your comment below. PLEASE make sure to read the commenting rules before commenting, since failure to follow these rules means your comment may be deleted. Also please do not use the username “Anonymous” or “Anon” or any variation thereof (makes things too confusing).

Off-topic comments are allowed, but Caleb will ignore those.

Caleb responds to comments in person, but he only does so on the two most current blog articles.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search.