Dealing With Rejection
Normally I would be posting this kind of thing at my business blog, but this has such direct application to your dating/seduction/relationship life, and your overall life as an Alpha, that I think it belongs here.
The only two TV shows I bother to watch on an even semi-regular basis are Shark Tank and The Profit. I’m a business nerd so shows like this are entertaining for me. (Though The Profit hasn’t been nearly as good lately; it’s starting to look too fake. But I digress.)
One of the venture capitalists on Shark Tank is a woman named Barbara Corcoran. She has probably been my least favorite of the six or seven regulars on the show. Kevin O’Leary is by far my favorite. He’s an extreme, over-the-top business Alpha who everyone hates. I am also deeply in love with Lori Greiner, and someday she will divorce her husband and will become my OLTR because she’s my soul mate and we’re destined to be together and it’s written in the stars. But I digress again.
This all changed recently when I saw an interview Corcoran had on Business Insider. This specific video snippet right here, starting at about 50 seconds, completely changed the way I think about her. I am now extremely impressed with this woman and will be paying much closer attention to her in the future.
To give some background, Barbara Corcoran started out as a poor waitress. She borrowed $1000 from her boyfriend and turned that into a $66 million dollar company she sold in 2001. She is now worth $140 million. This is someone who knows what she’s talking about.
In the above video, she describes why certain salespeople make far more money than other salespeople, even if they work less hard. She also demonstrates how rare outcome independence is.
When asked how she was different than all the other millions of (broke) real estate brokers out there, she answered:
I already knew that I, more than any other broker out there, was great at taking a hit and taking rejection. And what’s the essence of all real estate brokerage or any sales position? It’s not how well you sell or talk. It’s really how well you can take a hit and how long you take to feel sorry for yourself.
Read that again. Oh, so many comments or posts have I seen on so many PUA / manosphere sites from guys whining about boo-hoo seduction is so hard, boo-hoo she didn’t text me back, boo-ho I’m not good looking enough, boo-hoo she flaked on me. PUA sucks! Women are bitches! Grrr!
Let me tell you something, and I’m being completely serious here. There are men out there who have stronger game than I do and are way better-looking than I am, yet get laid far less than I do. Why? Because when I get rejected, I shrug and move on to the next woman.
It also doesn’t matter how I get rejected. I can get rejected in many different ways, such as:
- When a woman doesn’t respond to my online opener.
- When a woman flakes on a first or second date, and I never see her again.
- When a woman doesn’t text me back.
- When a woman one-night-stands me.
- When a woman I’m in a relationship with LSNFTEs me.
It doesn’t matter if I get rejected. It doesn’t matter how I get rejected. I just move on and keep putting in the numbers. I don’t pause. I don’t feel sad. I don’t get pissed off. I don’t stress out. I don’t “feel like shit” or feel like I was “disrespected.” I don’t take it personally or start questioning myself. I don’t get angry at women. I just keep going. I do as much as I can to increase my odds, then I put my head down and put in the numbers. I don’t care about the no’s. I just care about the yeses.
When you get rejected, STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH, AND GET BACK TO WORK.
As soon as a woman rejects you in any way whatsoever, shrug, say “NEXT!” and move on to the next woman. There are likely several hundred thousand women in your city who are cute, in your age range, and unmarried. Stop being a whiny pussy about this ONE who rejected you, and go focus on those.
As I’ve said many times before, if you’re a more emotional guy, this may be harder for you. Corcoran affirms this:
The most passionate people feel the hit the hardest. They feel the hit the hardest, because they cared more than the next guy.
She’s talking about outcome independence of course. I don’t do well with women because I have six pack abs or because I spend long hours at clubs, coffee shops, or dating sites. I do well with women because I don’t give a shit. When I message a super-hottie online, or when I’m on a first date with a super-hottie, I don’t care. If I’m rejected, I still don’t care. None of this bothers me. I don’t take it personally.
As I’ve talked about in my podcasts, if one woman rejects me, I know there’s another woman just as hot and smart right around the corner who will friggin’ love me. I just need to wade through a few more meaningless no’s to get to her. And I’m always right. Always.
Corcoran goes on:
My top salespeople…were earning seven, eight million dollars a year while my average income salesperson was earning forty or fifty thousand. And I’m telling you, it didn’t come down to contacts, it didn’t come down to how hard they worked. My worst workers very often worked the hardest. It came down to something to prove and getting back up. I’m telling you, that’s it.
When you screw up or get rejected, don’t worry about it. Just shrug, get back up, and get back to work. Simple. Not always easy to do, but simple. If you want to feel bad about yourself, do that when you’re done working and succeeding.