Why It’s Important To Give Her Orgasms
I’ve talked before about how important it is to make sure you bring a woman to orgasm every time you have sex with her if your goal is to keep her in a reasonably long-term and happy FB or MLTR relationship. Today I’m going to explain why this is so crucial, and help you get there.
First, some facts. A recent study shows the following:
- Only 16 percent of heterosexual women reported having an orgasm 100 percent of the time they have sex.
- 7 percent of women have never had an orgasm in their entire life.
Other studies have shown:
- 30-43% of women have “trouble” reaching an orgasm.
- Approximately 80% of women cannot (or don’t know how to) orgasm from vaginal sex alone.
- Younger women have less orgasms. Quote: “61% of women ages 18 to 24 experienced orgasm the last time they had sex, 65 percent of women in their 30s did and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s did.”
This all means two things:
1. Women don’t know how to cum during sex.
2. Men aren’t taking the time to show them.
This is a huge opportunity for you. This means there’s a strong possibility that woman you’re on a first date with has not cum during sex lately and/or doesn’t cum often (unless she does it to herself). If she’s under 30, and statistically she probably is, then this is even more likely.
The Benefits YOU Receive
When you start having sex with her, and make her cum every time you have sex, you’re going to blow her away (pun intended). I can tell you from vast experience this will bring you the following benefits:
1. You will be unlike any other man she’s ever been with in her life. That fact alone, that you make her orgasm every time you have sex, will set you apart.
2. She will start looking forward to sex with you unlike with any other man she’s ever dated.
4. She will be more tolerant of any other behaviors you have she perceives as negative. This noticeably reduces betaization.
5. Even if she starts having sex with other men, she’ll be far less likely to dump you for them. Worst case, she’ll make one her “monogamous” boyfriend but keep having discreet sex with you on the side. (Again I speak from experience here.)
6. It dramatically increases the odds she’ll return to you after a LSNFTE if she does leave you.
All of these benefits are huge. There are few other open/poly techniques I can offer you that has so much positive impact on your results.
Years ago when I was trying to master the open/poly lifestyle, when I started regularly making women cum every time we had sex, I noticed all of the above benefits in stark contrast to how women were behaving before. I remember calling it a “magic wand” back then, because it was. The difference it made was clear and massive.
It’s actually a rare thing for a man to consistently take the time and effort to bring a woman to orgasm. Ask any woman and they’ll confirm this. Bad news for women, but fantastic news for you. Be that man, and the results you’ll get from her will be awesome.
If your goal is monogamy or one night stands, then I guess you can do whatever you want and don’t have to worry about making her cum. But if your goal is long-term, happy FB, MLTR, or OLTR relationships, you need to make women cum as often as possible. Ideally, every time you have sex. If you’re not already doing this, you need to start. Here’s how.
1. Go down on her. Remember to do this and take the time to do this. You can do this before sex or during. The easiest way to do this, at least in my opinion, is to start having sex, enjoy yourself, and when you start getting a little tired, take a “break” for yourself and go down on her. It takes a lot less energy to lay down and work your tongue a little than it does to be on top of a woman pumping away.
So view the “go down time” as a “break” if that makes it easier for you. Keep going until she orgasms. When she does, shake your tongue out and proceed with funky funky time. Now you don’t have to worry about it any more and can pump pumpity pump to your heart’s content.
2. For most women, no special technique is required. Some guys get really nervous about this and think they need to go read five books on sexual techniques before they go down on a woman. You know what? You really don’t. Here’s all the sexual technique you need: Locate her clit and lick it. That’s it. Google some vagina diagrams if you have no idea where the clit is. Then just lick the damn thing. If she says it’s “too much”, then lick right next to it.
That’s really all you need to worry about for at least 70% of women out there.
Are there better ways to go down on a woman or make her cum? Oh yes. I’m just talking to you cunnilingus newbies at the moment. If you want to get more fancy, please do so. I certainly do; I have all kinds of techniques that involve my tongue and fingers, and her outer and inner vag. (Maybe I’ll get into more detail in a future post.) Reading some sex books does help. David Shade is great. My point here is that for most women, not all, but most, that’s really all you need to do: lick the clit until she cums. That’s it.
3. Communicate with her. If it looks like you’re not getting the job done, or if she seems nervous, or whatever, then ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t. Note: Do NOT do this during sex. If you do this during sex you’ll either turn her off or make her self-conscious. Do this when you’re not having sex.
Just ask her, calmly, and keep asking. Get her to tell you specifics. Some women like different things. You need to know what these things are. Find out exactly where and how she likes to be touched, and what the best way she likes to cum is.
By the way, asking a woman the best way to make her cum is not some beta male supplication move. It’s quite the opposite. Again, go re-read the six benefits I listed above. Unless you’re only after one night stands, making her cum and getting the info on how to best make this happen is one of the smartest and most effective things you can do.
4. Some women can’t orgasm. Do your best anyway. As the above stats show, and as any man who’s slept with a lot of women already knows, there are some women who simply cannot cum at all, no matter what you do or how well you do it.
This is okay. BUT, and this is a big BUT, this does not excuse you from trying. If you want those six benefits above, you still need to go down on her and work her body as if you are trying to make her cum. Even if she doesn’t go all the way to orgasm, she’ll still love it, and you’ll likely be the only man who’s ever done it to her that often.
And hey, you never know, one day you might actually get her there…then you’ll be the “only man who’s ever made her cum.” I’ve been this man to more than one woman, and trust me, this is a very, very good place to be.
5. Stop thinking that going down on a woman is somehow not Alpha, manly, or dominant. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s the beta male pansies out there who can’t make women cum, or don’t know how, or are too scared to try, or think it’s “gross”, or are too lazy to bother. Alphas make women cum. And women know it.
I occasionally run into guys who are under the impression that taking the time to make a woman feel good during sex is somehow supplicating or subservient. While I do understand that kind of linear guy-logic, the results I listed above speak for themselves. I wouldn’t have a 96% return rate for women if my technique of making them cum every time made me look like a beta.
Moreover, just because you make a woman cum doesn’t mean you can’t be 100% dominant with a woman for the rest of the sexual experience. I’m extremely dominant sexually, and none of this is dimmed by making a woman cum, especially considering you can bring a woman to orgasm in a very dominant manner. (“Shut up bitch! You’re going to cum for me now!”) You get the idea.
If you still have this thought in your mind, then sit down and think through a way you could make a woman cum, but on your terms. How could you take the time to bring a woman to orgasm in a way that turns you on while you do it? I’m sure you can think of something. So think of it, and do it.
Bottom line: not taking the time to do this during sex harms your ability to maintain long-term and harmonious open/poly relationships. You’re crazy if you don’t take advantage of it.
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.