Serial Monogamy Marriage
I’m going to describe a very interesting Alpha Male 1.0 phenomenon that I’ve been seeing more of over recent years. This is something becoming more common both in and outside of the manosphere.
Most of you already know my recommendations to combat the current high divorce rates, along with the clear indication that human beings hate being long-term monogamous even though they often enjoy being short-term monogamous. If you really want to get serious or “settle down” with a woman, refuse to ever get absolutely sexually monogamous, but do all the other usual “married” stuff anyway, such as move in together and/or have children together, etc.
However, many men in society are reacting to these divorce realities in a very different, and much more chaotic way. Here’s a quote from the study I linked to in my recent post on divorce statistics:
There is also evidence that many young people are moving toward embracing the idea of serial marriage, in which a person gets married two or three times, seeking a different partner for each phase of their adult life.
Yep. I have seen exactly this dynamic occur both in my personal life with men I know, and strongly within the manosphere/PUA. Numerous times I have debated with strong pro-monogamy guys (often Alpha 1.0s, players, or ex-players) who are dying to get married and monogamous “someday”, and feel very strongly about it. But here’s the interesting part; when I ask them if they plan on staying married to their current or future woman for the rest of their life, they either refuse to answer the question, or say “Well no, of course not!”
This often includes men who are already married.
Incredibly, almost never do any of these men actually sign prenuptial agreements. It’s at the point now where I’m actually surprised when it does happen because I see it so rarely with these guys.
So if you do the math on this, men are getting married, planning in advance on divorcing someday, promising (and expecting) monogamy anyway, and not getting prenups.
Something is very, very wrong with men.
Of course, women have been doing this for decades already, as I’ve demonstrated on this blog before. Now to add to the mix, we have men starting to adopt a serial monogamous, Alpha Male 1.0 version of a pre-existing, temporary, feminine marriage model.
This is what I have started to call serial monogamy marriage. I should call it bullshit marriage, but I’m a nice guy full sugar and spice and everything nice. The serial monogamy marriage is where you do all of the following:
1. Legally marry a woman.
2. Promise and expect 100% monogamy at all times, though you will probably cheat later (and get caught, since men are terrible keeping their cheating a secret).
3. Very stupidly don’t sign a prenuptial agreement. (If someone challenges you on this, you’ll either quickly change the subject or mumble something about how you “don’t need one.”)
4. Pretend as if the marriage will last forever even though you quietly know you’re going to get a divorce down the road anyway.
So these crazy people are actually getting monogamously married, planning on getting divorced, but not making any legal, financial, or child custody accommodations for this. They’re literally planning on fucking up their lives down the road, all for the fleeting high of being temporarily married.
This gets even more interesting. The people I see doing this are not idiots. They are not ignorant regarding the issues discussed on this blog and blogs like this all over the internet. These are not dumbass Disney betas with stars in their eyes. No, these are intelligent, informed men (almost always Alpha 1.0s) and sharp women (usually Dominants or misguided Independents) who are purposely doing this anyway.
It’s really amazing.
A Temporary Marriage Is Fine…As Long As You Do It Right
Am I against getting married or living-together serious when you know that you’ll get divorced down the road? Not at all. As I’ve said many times before, all relationships are temporary, including marriages, and including open/poly ones.
This is why legal, financial, logistical, and sexual accommodations must be made up front when you enter into any “serious” relationship to accommodate this reality. Take a stupid beta full of oneitis who’s never read a manosphere blog, really thinks his fiancé will be with him forever, and thinks he’ll never want to fuck another woman for the rest of his life. This guy is a reckless moron of course, but at least he has the excuse of ignorance and weakness when he doesn’t get his prenup, cohabitation agreement, parenting plan, or whatever.
On the other hand, the strong, well-read Alpha Male (1.0 or 2.0) doesn’t have this excuse…yet he follows the path of the beta male anyway. In a way, this makes what he’s doing even worse.
Look, if you want to get long-term monogamous (now or “someday”) despite all the facts and stats you’ve read about how human beings aren’t designed that way and how it almost never works out, then hey, it’s your life. Go ahead and do what you want. I think that as an Alpha Male you’re making a colossal mistake, but you need to make your own decisions.
But for fuck’s sake, do it right! If you get into one of these temporary monogamous marriages, at least get an enforceable prenuptial agreement, keep your finances completely separate from her (no joint checking accounts!), and get a parenting plan signed and filed before anyone gets pregnant.
If you refuse to do these very simple things when getting into a marriage (or even unmarried cohabiting relationship) that you KNOW isn’t going to last forever, then you’re scheduling a nuclear mushroom cloud on some random date in your future. It’s like you’re setting a huge time bomb to go off, except you don’t know exactly when it will happen. One day, down the road, you’ll wake up to a contentious divorce (with the law on her side) at best, a financial catastrophe and painful child custody battle at worst.
Why do you want that? Do you value your future so lightly? Is your happiness today worth that kind of pain a few years down the road? Really stop and think about that.
The Value You Place On Future Happiness
One of the reasons I’m so happy today is because I consider my decisions based not only on my happiness now, but also my happiness five years in the future. I do things I know will make me happy five years from now, and more importantly I refuse to do things that will damage happiness five years from now. The reason my life is so good today is because five years ago I didn’t do anything that would fuck up my happiness five years in the future. So today, surprise surprise, I’m happier now than I was five years ago. In five more years, I’ll be even happier. I can’t wait!
If you get into one of these serial monogamy marriages, you can’t say the same. Your happiness is temporary. In three, five, or ten years from now, you’re going to be angry, hurt, sad, or at least very frustrated.
My model: happy now, happy later.
Your model: happy now, unhappy later.
I’ll leave you to decide which model is better, and which model will make you happier more often.