This is one of those “prepare to be pissed off” posts. It’s honestly not my intention to piss you off, at least not today; I’m writing this because I get asked about this a lot, and I need a place to link to that fully describes my position on this.
Today I’m going to describe what I think is probably the largest philosophical difference between myself and many of my brothers in the manosphere, both with PUA (pickup artists) and MRA (men’s rights activists).
Obviously I agree with at least 90% of the primary stances of the men’s rights movement and the greater manosphere, at least as much as could be said of such a thing, since the manosphere includes extremely different viewpoints. Within the manosphere there are rabidly anti-marriage guys and guys who are strongly pro-marriage. There are angry slut shamers and crazy slut lovers. There are pro-sex PUAs and anti-sex MGTOWs. The manosphere is certainly a place of extremes. That’s part of what makes it interesting.
Regardless, I agree with the basics, that men get a raw deal with it comes to marriage and child custody, that women often have a sense of financial entitlement from men, that women don’t really mean it when they want everything to be truly “equal”, etc, etc. I’ve discussed all of those topics on this blog before.
Today I’m going to talk about the more activist component of the manosphere. I’m specifically talking about those men who think it’s very important that we create movements or awareness to fight against…well…it depends on the guy. Feminists, leftists, beta males, whatever. The enemy often varies, but many in the manosphere strongly believe we must stand up and fight these groups, on the internet and in real life.
My opinion on this gets a little complicated so I’m going to start from the beginning.
The Battle Has Already Been Fought, And We Lost
Without getting into pages and pages of examples and specifics (much of which I have already talked about on this blog, as have many other manosphere guys), it is my contention that men in society, or at least Alpha Males, have already “lost”. All the forces of “evil” that men in the manosphere hate, be they beta males, feminists, left-wingers, right-wingers, political correctness, the government, or women in general, have already “won”. The battle has already taken place and has come to a conclusion.
You cannot win a war, or a battle, that is already over and has already been won.
I’m going to double down on this. What I’m about to say I’ve said before, but this time I’m going to be very clear. It is my contention that Western civilization has already collapsed. That’s right, it’s already happened.
You cannot save something that has already collapsed.
Why then, are we not living in some kind of Mad Max wasteland, stockpiling bullets and canned beans in the desert, if Western civilization has “collapsed” like I contend it has?
Because Western civilization a) is very big and b) was very successful. Something this vast doesn’t collapse in a day, or a year, or even over several years. As I’ve said before, Western civilization will likely take several decades to fully collapse. It may not be until the 2040s or 2050s before it’s all gone the way of the dinosaur.
Moreover, just because Western civilization collapses does not mean the world collapses, or white people collapse, or that the United States or Europe will collapse. All of these things many manosphere guys worry about will likely still be around even after Western civilization is gone. They will simply look very, very different than they do today. (I predict that the United States in particular will be unrecognizable by the 2040s compared to what it is now.)
Technological advances, some very exciting ones, will still be invented and good things will still happen. Standards of living will increase in various parts of the world, particularly Asia and China, which will rule the 21st century the way the United States ruled most of the 20th.
It’s just that the image of the 1950s-ish guy-fantasy so many men in the manosphere fight for will be long, long gone. You know what I’m talking about. The image of…
- The strong Alpha husband with the beautiful, faithful, submissive wife who’s only had sex with two other men before she got married, and who never divorces him, no matter what he does, even if he cheats on her.
- The two perfect children going to good schools, living with mom and dad in a nice suburban home with two decent cars.
- A government that keeps the roads paved but that largely leave the family alone to pursue their own happiness.
- Men and women, fathers and mothers treated equally by the law.
- Husbands, fathers, and boyfriends celebrated and respected across the board in pop culture, including in TV commercials.
- The vast majority of women staying pretty, skinny, and feminine well into their 40s.
- Men getting laid left and right with little effort while most women stay pure and near-sexless.
Et cetera. This world is gone, gentlemen. We have already lost it, and lost it quite a while ago. Perhaps more importantly, it is not coming back (as if we ever really had it). At least not likely in any of our lifetimes.
Therefore, spending your time, energy, emotions, or money defending this world doesn’t make any sense. It is already gone. We already lost it. It’s not coming back in your lifetime. In a few short decades, what is now called Western civilization will look like the opposite of what I just described. The only partial exceptions to this will be small, isolated parts of the third world where 99% of men reading these words would never want to live.
Much of this has already happened, and it will continue to get worse no matter what the manosphere or men’s rights movement does. Because we’ve already lost. It’s already happened.
Yet…I’m Not A Defeatist
The realization and acknowledgement of this reality does not make me one of those depressing manosphere guys who are constantly whining about how horrible it is that women hook up with more guys these days, or dump men more often, or are becoming more masculine, or whatever. You may notice I never complain about these kinds of things. Hell, I actually like the more hookups part. I think it’s great that I can regularly have sex with women within three hours of face time. (Why the hell would I complain about that? Do I want to go back to the 1930s where I would have to date a woman for three months and then promise marriage just to get laid? No thank you. When it comes to sex, I’ll take 2014 over 1950 any day.)
Nor does this make me one of the nihilists who post on this blog occasionally, saying bad things will happen to all of us no matter what we do, so there’s no point in trying to do certain things.
Yes, men as a group have already lost, and Western civilization has already collapsed, but here’s the twist: that’s a problem for the masses, for society…it’s not necessarily for you.
The good news, and it really is good news, is that you are not society. You’re an individual. Therefore, you can refuse to participate in this crap. I certainly don’t. This makes me a very happy guy.
You can choose to live the life of every Alpha Male’s wildest fantasies even if 99% of other men in this fallen world choose not to. That brings me to my entire point here.
Society Has Already Failed, Look To Yourself Instead
Since society has already failed/collapsed, instead of spending your energies trying to resuscitate a corpse, you should focus on creating a bubble of happiness and freedom around you. This bubble does not need to be very big. It only needs to encompass you and at most perhaps 2-3 other people in your life, if you want (your children if any, and perhaps a woman or two).
All that time, effort, anger, emotion, and possibly money you’re spending trying to fix the world, trying to fight back against left-wingers or right-wingers or feminists or beta males or whoever, could instead be spent…
- Learning new skills to better your life.
- Getting better and meeting and sleeping with attractive women.
- Figuring out how to move out of the country you currently live in that you dislike.
- Lifting weights and/or improving your diet to improve your health, appearance, and confidence.
- Making more money. Or if you already make decent money, making that same money in less work hours per week.
- Trying out new kinds of relationships with women that may make you happier, and/or improving your current relationship skills.
- If you have kids, learning how to be a better father. If you don’t have kids, securing your life logistics so that you will be a good father someday.
Every time you get furious at what some blogger or feminist is doing, you take time away from the above items. Getting pissed off about it has a less than 1% chance of actually doing any real difference in society, but any of these above items have at least a 70%-90% of helping you (and those closest to you).
The rational, fair, Alpha Male-centric society is gone and not coming back. Accept it, and stop hand-wringing about it. Improve your own life instead. Get your own shit in order. Live your life and be happy.
It is quite possible to create a bubble of awesomeness that surrounds you and your key people no matter how bad society is or will become. I am living proof of this. My life is really fantastic, and will only get better, even as Western civilization continues to slowly crumble around me. To which I usually just shrug and say, “Eh. I warned you guys.”
You can improve your life or get pissed off at a battle already lost. I’d say you should improve your life. It’s a much happier path to get excited about all the great things you’re doing with your life than it is to get angry about all the increasing evil, anti-man bullshit society is perpetrating on itself.
Now let’s deal with the objections I can see some of you yelling at your screens.
Objection 1: “WTF Blackdragon!?! If we do nothing, the feminists will make things even WORSE! Someday it could be illegal to have consensual sex without a signed contract, or even to say hi to women on the street!!!”
Two answers to that.
First answer. If that’s actually going to happen (and I don’t know if it will or not), then it will happen whether or not you do anything about it. It won’t make one damn bit of difference if a few MRAs or PUAs scream their heads off on the internet.
How do I know this? Because this crap has become worse every year I’ve been alive. It will keep getting worse. As I’ve said many times, this stuff is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Alpha Males in the PUA/MRA/manosphere realm are in the teeny tiny minority. We are far, far outnumbered by both women and beta males. When it comes to the overall direction in society, they have the numbers and the influence. We do not. I hate saying it, and I don’t like it any more than you do, but it’s the truth. You signing a petition or making a few comments on a web site will not stop this trend. I honestly wish it would. It won’t.
Second answer. If this happens, it won’t happen all over the world. It will happen in a few extreme left-wing places like Scandinavia. Even if it happens in the United States or greater Europe, then it will still not be happening in many other places in the world.
Then you know what you do? Move. That’s right, get the fuck out of there. Assuming you don’t live in North Korea or Cuba, no one is forcing you at gunpoint to live wherever you’re currently living. You can move whenever the hell you like. If things get really horrible, move to a country or city that has more rational laws.
(If your argument is that these extreme anti-man measures will happen literally all over the world in all 196 countries, then you’re just being irrational. There will always be “normal” places where this does not happen no matter how bad it gets.)
Objection 2: “Not help society? Wow, what an asshole. You’re being really selfish Blackdragon. A good man helps society.”
If that’s really your attitude, you’re forgetting a key point: Society did this to itself.
May I remind you that Americans not only voted for George W. Bush, but re-elected him even after they knew he was a corrupt, brainless warmonger? May I remind you that Americans not only voted for Barack Obama, but re-elected him (though barely) even after they knew he was bombing civilians and spying on your email and phone communication?
And shit, those are just the Americans. Don’t even get me started on the Europeans, who (with the exception of UKIP) keep electing the same hyper-politically-correct, Goldman Sachs-owned politicians who are lining their own pockets while running that once proud group of nations into the ground.
I have said before that if men wanted to repeal all alimony laws, they could do it right now. Seriously. Right now. All they need to do is stop getting married. No, I don’t mean holding off on marriage in their 20s and then surrendering to it in their 30s, which is what they’re doing now. I mean STOP getting married EVER, PERIOD.
If this actually happened, within a very short period of time women would repeal alimony so they could get married again. This is exactly what would happen. Women like to get married. Take it away, and they’ll move heaven and earth to get it back.
Do you see 80% of men refusing to ever get married? 50%? How about 25%? Remember, even within the manosphere and PUA, where men are extremely educated about this, you still have hordes of guys planning on getting married someday. (I’m talking about traditional monogamous marriage with no prenup; getting an OLTR marriage is probably fine, but that’s not what these guys have in mind.)
Then guess what? Alimony stays. Bitch about it all you want. It stays. Society is not willing to do what it takes to fix this problem. Because deep down, society wants these problems.
I could go on with examples, but you get the point.
Listen. Society had its chance. Society had many chances. Society fuckin’ blew it. Society could fix about 70% of its problems within 6-12 months if it really wanted to. But it doesn’t want to, or else it would have done it. No, society is too focused on holding onto the past (right wingers), or changing things for the worse (left wingers), or watching TV (everyone else).
I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever for not worrying about society, and you shouldn’t either. Every day, every year, you see new ways in which society screws itself, often on purpose. Why should you feel at all bad about not helping them? They don’t want your “help”. Frankly, they’re more likely to hate you for your “help”.
My Role Here
So then what am I doing here on this blog? Aside from the logistical reasons of making money and for my own enjoyment, that is. Aren’t I trying to “save the world” in my own little way by being public about these issues?
Nope. Saving the world is not my goal. I already tried that. Throughout the 1990s I was very politically active in third-party movements. It took me several years to realize that a) people really don’t want to change anything, and b) people who “get it” pretty much already get it; they mostly don’t need to be further educated. Therefore I sadly realized I was wasting my time and stopped.
Today, my goal is not to save society or Western civilization, both of which have already failed. Instead, my goal is to take the 5%-10% of men who are tired of being beta males or Alpha Male 1.0s, and help them to find a new path to happiness and fulfillment as men (Alpha Male 2.0).
I already know this will be a very small percentage of men, and that’s okay. Most betas are too scared to change their lives. Most Alpha 1.0s don’t want to change. Most men who read my stuff are either going to get upset, or think it’s interesting but not make any real changes to better themselves. I get that, and it’s completely fine.
But for those very few unique betas who are tired of feeling scared or helpless, tired of being controlled by others…and those very few unique Alpha 1.0s who are tired of arguing and getting pissed, tired of working so hard all the time…it’s both of you guys I’m here for, and who I’m trying to help.
Society, Western civilization, those things have already chosen their path. There’s not much you can do about that. But you can choose a path of happiness, fulfillment, and freedom if you want it, regardless of what society does.
You have only to choose it.