Online Dating vs. Daygame and Night Game
Most guys have very strong biases regarding what types of game are “best”. I’ve seen some pretty big arguments about this.
If you didn’t already know, there are essentially four types of game:
- Night Game – Clubs, bars, parties, and similar.
- Daygame – Malls, stores, on the street, and similar, usually during the daytime.
- Online Game – Online dating.
- Social Circle Game – Meeting women via other people you already know socially or at work.
Sometimes guys get all esoteric and talk about things like “dance floor game” (really night game) or “street game” (really daygame), but in reality, every possible way you could meet a woman will fall into one of the four above categories. The only possible exception I can think of would be “celebrity game” when you’re famous and fans/groupies are throwing themselves at you, but we aren’t celebrities so that’s not even worth discussing.
I’m going to lay out online dating as it compares to the other three types of game. As most of you know, online game is my game style of choice, but I will still try to be as objective as possible.
All Game Styles Work
Let’s get this out of the way first. Any person who says X type of game sucks or doesn’t work is lying. All four types of game work. All four types of game will get you laid assuming you do them correctly.
We’re not talking about which “suck” and which are “good”. Rather, all four types of game have advantages and disadvantages as compared to the other styles. You may have noticed that I have never said online game is “the best” or that “night game sucks” or “social circle game is for pussies” or whatever. There is no “best” type of game.
That being said, there are certain game styles that work better for certain types of guys. If you’re a younger, extremely extroverted guy who doesn’t need to get up early for a job, you’re going to love night game. If you’re an introverted, very busy guy, you’re going to love online game. Etc.
The arguments tend to start when guys use men doing their chosen game style incorrectly as examples. For example, a club game devotee points out how much time men waste having long online conversations that never end up as a real life date. Therefore, he says, online game “sucks”.
No, the reality is that guy is doing online game wrong. I can say the same exact thing about night game when I point out all these PUA idiots hanging around the clubs going for “k-closes” and “makeouts”. (Makeouts? Don’t you want to have sex?) Does that mean night game “sucks”? Not at all. Night game works if you do it right, just like online game.
Every style of game works if you do it right. Sometimes that’s a big “if”.
The Advantages of Online Dating Over Other Game Styles
Here are the areas where online game is better than other game types:
1. It is the most time-management friendly system for laying new women. This one is indisputable and is the top of the list. It is the number one reason, by far, why I chose online game as my focus area and why I continue to do so even after all of these years.
With night game, daygame, and even social circle game, in order to meet women you have to get dressed, make sure you look good, leave your house, get into a car or bus, go somewhere, often spend some money when you get there, then stay there, often for hours and hours.
If you meet a woman who likes you but doesn’t want to have sex right that evening, then you have to do a “day2” and do it all over again, individually for every woman.
With online dating, you can literally sit in your underwear, in your own home or wherever you are, and click a few buttons. You can do this for 5 minutes or an hour…it’s all valid effort.
2. You can do it whenever the hell you want. The huge problem with night game is that it must be done at night, usually very late at night. In the majority of night game lay reports I’ve seen, heard, or read, both in real life and online, the sex is usually happening well after 2am.
That’s great, but some of us have jobs we need to get to in the morning. Staying out until 3am to get laid on Tuesday night is going to seriously ruin my Wednesday at work, even if I don’t have to get up super early.
“Well that’s why you do it on Friday and Saturday nights, Blackdragon!”
So I only get two nights a week to practice and get good and get laid? Not a recipe for success in my view. When I was learning this stuff, I had to focus on it many days a week in order to get good; two days a week would not have cut it.
Same deal with daygame. I’ve done daygame myself back in the day (pun intended) but one of the reasons I didn’t like it is because I could only do it between about 4pm, when my work was usually done, and about 7pm when things started to close and women started to go home. You could certainly do daygame later in the evening or earlier in the day, but often there aren’t enough women shopping or eating at those hours.
Night game must be done late in the evening, daygame must be done during the daytime, and social circle game must be done when your friends are available. But online game can be done literally whenever the hell you want. 2am, 10am, noon, 4pm, 6pm, midnight, whenever you have some free time, the dating sites are there and the women are on them.
It is true that you must have first dates with online game and those must obviously be done in real life. However, first dates are scheduled at your convenience, whenever you want them. You decide when to schedule these dates, not the game style. That kind of flexibility can’t be beat.
3. You don’t need to worry about approach avoidance, and usually don’t have to worry about the negative emotions behind rejection. This is the more obvious reason why many men choose online dating, and the reason why more traditional PUA guys tend to look down on online game. It takes very little courage to send out 50 openers to 50 random women. If none of those women like you, you don’t really feel it.
That being said, there are still right and wrong ways to construct your online dating profile and send out openers, and you can indeed waste a huge amount of time online if you’re doing these things wrong. The point here is that online game usually doesn’t require the emotional build-me-up stuff that night game and daygame often require.
4. You can open mass numbers of women much faster. This one is huge. How much time would it take you to open 50 women you think are attractive while walking around a mall? I can send 50 openers in less than 45 minutes. Try to beat that with daygame. Or night game for that matter.
With some of the new apps like Tinder this feature is getting even faster. God knows what the future holds as this aspect gets better and better.
The Disadvantages of Online Dating Over Other Game Styles
Okay, to be objective about this, now let’s tackle the big negatives of online dating. There are several.
1. Hordes of ugly chicks. This is probably the biggest complaint I hear about online dating, and it’s a valid one. In order to find the cute girls, you’re going to have to comb through piles and piles of ugly ones. It’s just the nature of the beast. This takes time and effort. It can also be demoralizing.
This is where night game kicks online game’s ass. In night game you have a concentrated group of hot girls all lined up before you, whereas online game tends to be a needle-in-a-haystack process.
The fact remains that even very overweight, very ugly women know they can go online and if they’re reasonably young (under 35 or so), they’re going to get literally hundreds of messages from guys dying to fuck them. This means lots of ugly women on the dating sites, particularly the free ones. (The paid sites like Match.com do have noticeably better looking women on them.)
2. Low response rates. For various reasons, response rates online are indeed starting to get lower than in years past. Even mine have taken a hit (though online dating still works and I still regularly get laid with ease).
It’s tough when you’ve sent out 100 openers and only get two responses…or zero responses. This is still not as bad as women rejecting you via daygame or night game, but it’s still a serious problem.
3. Creates an emotional bias against real-life closing. While I have personally never had this problem, lots of guys online have a strong emotional need to keep talking to a woman while online and actively avoid pitching the real-life date, either “too soon” or ever. Something about online dating creates an environment for caution in ways the other game styles don’t suffer from. I’ve seen lots of men waste huge amounts of time and emotion on this. Bad.
4. Dating sites continuously imposing more restrictions on men. I’ve already talked about POF’s insane antics, though other sites like OKCupid, Lovestruck, and Match.com are not without their problems either. Every year more dating sites create more restrictions against their male customers, while night game, daygame, and social circle game remain the same.
5. It’s harder to see what you’re getting. The greatest thing about daygame, at least in my opinion, is that you see exactly what you’re getting. That cute girl with the fantastic ass you met at the grocery store is going to look exactly the same (or better!) on your first date / day2.
In night game, guys have told me all kinds of funny stories about about how horrified they are when they see that “hot chick” the next day…in full daylight with less makeup on. Online game suffers from the same problem, only worse. Sometimes women don’t look like they advertise. Often women don’t have full-body pictures on their profiles. And how do you know if a woman has a great ass from her profile?
This is where daygame and social circle game beat out online game…you know exactly what you’re getting. It is for this reason alone that I will occasionally dip my foot back into daygame occasionally.
Type of Guy
Online dating / online game is generally ideal for the following types of guys:
- Men who are very busy.
- Men who have time consuming and/or inflexible jobs or businesses.
- Introverts (But remember, being an introvert is not an excuse for being a pussy.)
- Men who know how to write well.
- Men who dislike the loudness and energy of a club environment (though daygame may also be an option for you).
- Men who have no other access to attractive women in his normal day-to-day life.
- Men too old for clubs.
- Men who have a very specific “type” and want to stay focused on that.
Online dating / online game is generally NOT good for the following types of guys:
- “Thrill Of The Hunt” men, men who like pickup/seduction to be “hard”, since pulling off difficult lays gives them a rush and a sense of accomplishment that easier lays do not. (Online game is definitely for guys who like things “easy”.)
- Men who like/need to see immediate reactions from women visually or emotionally during pickup.
- Men who love clubs, bars, and/or who generally love hanging out with people.
- Talkative men.
It’s best to find the game style that is most compatible with your personality and lifestyle, even if it’s not online game. Men who successfully match their game style to who they are will experience less stress and faster results.
Multiple Game Styles?
This usually begs the question: “Why not do multiple styles at once?”
My answer has always been NO, unless you have completely, 100% mastered one of the game styles already.
If you’re a beginner or intermediate at this stuff, you should pick ONE style and focus on it completely. Get good at it. Once you can literally get laid from it whenever you like, then branch out to the other styles if you want. But don’t dilute your efforts by focusing on multiple styles at once.
Back in the day, I was doing online game and daygame. I quickly realized that daygame was diluting my online efforts, so I stopped doing daygame altogether. Now that I’ve mastered online game, I poke around with daygame. I will get back into daygame as a regular system at some point. (I do keep putting this off…I’m in no rush since online game and resurrecting old LSNFTEs works so well. With all these women it’s hard for me to get motivated enough to get off my ass and do daygame on a regular basis. Talk about a quality problem.)
So if you’re trying to get good, pick ONE style, focus on it 100%, and get good. You’ll thank me later.