What Older Women Want
Heartiste has found the profile of one of these over-33 women I’ve talked about many times before, and it’s a doosey. She explains everything I’ve been saying about women over age 33 in a very specific, angry way. It’s fantastic. Her OKCupid profile is here but I don’t know how much longer it will last online.
Some of her profile text is below, with my comments. Prepare yourself. It’s not pleasant. Though she’s got some courage, I’ll give her that.
If you are over 40 and you do not take care of yourself, unless you truly don’t care that a woman is dating you for your money, then maybe a better site for you is sugarbaby.com
…and I wonder how she would react if men were talking about how fat or ugly over 40 women tend to be…
Those of us that are of a certain age and reasonably successful on here are on here, want to meet someone reasonable–intelligent, successful, happy, that we’re attracted to physically and emotionally, not because we’re desperate, but usually because we’re too busy to date, or we do not wish to date through our work. We have businesses to run, we travel frequently,
Hey, I’m well over age 33 myself, and I actually agree with that. No problem. But then she says:
or we be on here because our friends and family are bugging us about being single and this is way to get them off our backs.
Join a dating site and go on a bunch of first dates…to get your family “off your back?” And this is a “strong, independent” woman? Why not tell your family to fuck off and live your life as you see fit? Insane.
What that means is–
1. We are not desperate–we do not need you to have a fulfilling life.
2. We are busy people–just like you–and we mean what we say, and say what we mean because we don’t have time to play silly word games or have drama like 20 somethings.
3. The silly little texting games are the fastest way to blow it. If we give you permission to call–then call–don’t text to see if its ok to call–we have a life–random texts from people we don’t know don’t cut it if we haven’t met you.
Think about this: Would a 24 year old woman fly into a frustrated, insulted tizzy like this if a guy texted her instead of called her?
4. If we ask you not to contact us further–then don’t–unless you want to appear as a crazy person.
5. If we call you on the above..we’re not crazy, or scary..we just don’t have time to waste on people who don’t get it. We deal enough with that in our work.
That’s men’s neediness she fighting there, and on that she has a point.
6. Life gets shorter for us every day–we have no time or desire for drama, games or people who do not have their act together.
Drama? Like all the drama on your profile? Remember the statement “Be the change you desire”, Darling?
Now read this next bit carefully. I’ve bolded the key part.
7. If we reject you after you have done any of the above, put your big boy pants on and move on.
8. We are not angry–we know what we want–we know what we’re willing to put up with. With age, the list of what we want gets a little longer, while the list of what we’re willing to put up with gets infinitely smaller because we have learned from our youth.
That bolded statement embodies exactly what I’ve been talking about with older women for several years now. The less desirable a woman becomes, the more she wants.
As a woman gets older, not only does she (usually) get heavier and less physically attractive, but she also gets more bitchy, more picky, less flexible, more demanding, more easily angered, more stressed out, and more arrogant. Yet despite all of these increasing negatives, she wants even MORE from a male partner than what she wanted when she was prettier, nicer, more fun, less stressed, and more flexible.
Does that make any sense to you? To offer a partner less quality yet demand more quality from him?
THAT, my friends is the problem with older women. That’s why I do not cold-approach (online or in real life) any woman over age 33 any more, since based on my extensive experience that seems to be about the cut-off. (Romantically or sexually approaching women over 33 you already know is fine; I do that all the time and it works. The fact she already knows you bypasses most of this bullshit.)
It’s easy and disingenuous for older women to complain that guys simply don’t like them because younger women are prettier, but that’s not it and they know it. I think over-33 women are extremely attractive…I’ve dated and slept with many women over 30 and over 40 and thought they were all fantastic…I just don’t want the rules, regulations, sense of entitlement, bull-busting, and demands. Is all that garbage worth a woman who might be a little smarter?
But it gets worse…
Seriously understand, that why you may want to relive your life and feel good about yourself from dating a 20 year old–she’s only using you for your money, and after a while, you will be either extremely bored, or driven crazy by the immaturity factor.–unless you are a really damaged insecure man to start with.
Nobody does us like us–if you don’t understand this statement, then you probably should be dating a 20 something who doesn’t know enough about herself that you will seem like magic.
All that anger directed at those prettier, NICER younger women. This gal has some real issues with MEN’S age too, as she explains here:
There is not a single woman that I know, including myself, that wants to date a man who is significantly younger than ourselves–media hype aside–because frankly, we actually want to be with a man–not a boy we have to teach or that needs a manual–not a guy who’s putting notches on his belt–but a man preferably one who takes all night to do what he used to do all night.
If you are between 25-35, even if you have millions of dollars, you actually have nothing of interest to women over 35–unless they have self-esteem issues, in which case, you will eventually end up with a chick in rehab, or a mental health facility, or someone you’re filing a restraining order against.
If you are over 60 trying to date a 40 something woman–Gravity takes it toll on you too..and in a lot of cases, it is not pretty. If you did not take care of yourself..better have millions of dollars–or hire a nurse.
Just look at the intolerance, to the point of ridiculousness. I will ask again, do you think she was this intolerant and angry when she was 22 or 27?
This next complaint is particularly relevant, and directly effects the problem with older women in terms of online dating:
Coffee is lame as a first date/meeting. Lunch or Cocktail Hour is better.
That’s right you stupid man. SPEND MONEY ON ME. Don’t by me a fucking coffee. I’m an Amazing Strong Independent Woman™. I deserve free drinks and free food you insensitive asshole!
Pictures of you with your friends is not a good idea–from what I’ve seen, a lot of your friends are way better looking than you.
She’s so nice! Doesn’t that just make you want to ask her out right now?
Every single person wants to find someone to be with, bear that in mind the next time you are rude to someone online who takes the time to write to you and you don’t respond. All it does is hurt someone’s feelings, and show what a rude jerk you are–and demonstrates, yet again, why you are single.
Ha! Do you honestly think she responds to every guy sending her an opener? Waaaaahahaha!
I grew up in a very dysfunctional house
I like cats, and they like me
This also shows.
Some people notice that I’m polite and nice to everyone.
The point of me showing this to you is this woman is not unique. She is not some unusual raging bitch. Almost everything she says in her profile is exactly, and I mean exactly what’s going through the mind of most women in the dating world who are older than about age 33. This sweet little angel is only different in that she’s angry enough to actually verbalize what she’s thinking on her profile.
When you open an over-33 woman online or at a grocery store or at a bar, THIS is the thought process you’re dealing with. I’m a jaded, angry shrew and you’d better be near-perfect to my tiny, narrow view of what I want and you’d better spend money on me. Otherwise you’re an asshole wasting my time and can fuck off.
Good luck with that.
1. If you want to actually have sex with little hassle, stick to women under age 33. (At this point I personally never go above 30.)
2. If you like women over 33, instead of bothering to meet them via cold-approaching as a stranger (this includes online dating), instead meet them through your social circle, get to know a bunch, then escalate on them. An over-33 woman you already know is no more difficult to lay or date than younger women. Almost every woman I’ve slept with over the age of 33 was someone I already knew via my social circle. Many of them were first-date lays.
Disclaimer: There are exceptions to the over-33 woman rule. If you are younger and very good looking and clearly demonstrate zero provider potential, often you can bypass these older-woman barriers. For the other 90% of you, follow the two steps above.