International Symbol for Marriage

If you’ve been following the news, you’ve already heard about this.

For the first time in history, a record 49% of American adults are not married, up from 43% just a decade ago.  This means they’re almost the majority, and will be the majority in a few years.

Some more interesting stats:

  • In just one year (2010) there was a 13% increase in the number of live-in couples who were not legally married. 13% in one year!
  • 41% of babies born are born to unwed mothers.  The racial breakdown is 72% for blacks, 53% of Hispanics, 29% of whites, and 17% of Asians (A full 17% for those conservative, family-oriented Asians?  Wow!).

Some factual points behind these stats:

  • Despite the hype, the decline in marriage rates is not because people are not getting married, it’s simply because they’re getting married later.  This means that while there is no change in the number of married poeple over the age of 30, there are less married folks under the age of 30 than before, thereby driving down the overall marriage numbers.
  • A large reason for the number of unwed couple households is because of the down economy.  People tend to combine incomes faster when times are tough.  The guy who makes $100,000 a year who cohabitates with a woman who makes $20,000 tends to lose in financial lifestyle, but the guy who makes $20,000 a year who moves in with a chick who also makes $20,000 tends to gain in lifestyle, at least a little.

So is it good less people are married?  Well, technically less people aren’t getting married.  They’ll still getting married, just later.

Is it good people are getting married later rather than sooner?  Yes.

Am I jumping for joy?  Not really.

I have said many times that over the next several decades many factors will be driving traditional monogamous marriage out of the mainstream.  It will take a while, but it will happen.

Traditional monogamous marriage was a system designed for a world hundreds of years ago where women had no freedom and men had very little.  It’s no longer compatible with how the modern world works, and most people know that deep down in their hearts (even if they hate to admit it).  So long term, I’m not really concerned about this.

The problem is even though people are not getting married as quickly, they still have not changed their attitudes about marriage, monogamy, and children.  Even in the linked article above, there’s a quote from a woman that says “I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to get married someday”.

So I’m not exactly celebrating because:

  • People still want to and expect to get married “someday”.
  • Women and men alike still expect monogamy from their lovers, and get pissed off when they don’t get it (cheating), or pissed off when they do get it (betaization, drama, resentment).
  • People in serious relationships or marriages still expect monogamy to last forever.
  • Women are having babies when they aren’t ready for them and can’t afford them.
  • Teen pregnancy has spiked in recent years.
  • Only 3% of people actually get prenuptial agreements.
  • Men still get their asses raped in divorces.
  • The divorce rate is still sky-high.

So while the decreasing marriage rate is a good thing, sadly it’s the only good thing we can celebrate.  Modern day folks are still extremely delusional about all of this.  People’s actions have shifted slightly, but their core attitudes and expectations are the same as they were with Leave It To Beaver or Little House On The Prairie.

The next stage is for people to actually wake up and realize that:

1. Human beings were only designed to be monogamous in short, concentrated bursts.

2. Long-term monogamy doesn’t work no matter how mature, experienced, smart, or capable you are, or nor does it work based on the quality of the spouse you select.  (Your spouse is still human.)

3. No woman should have a baby unless she is mature enough to raise a child and has the income necessary to support that child without help from government or her mommie.  A consistent father figure in place would also be a good idea.  (Duh)

To me, this recent news is like hearing “Hey!  There are less meth addicts!  Now people wait a few years before getting addicted!  Isn’t that great?”

Not really.  Better to have people stop doing meth.  Better to have people stop getting married, at least in the traditional monogamous / no prenup manner.

I’m still working on getting people to realize there are other options for sex,  love, romance, commitment, living together, and raising children than the obsolete TMM model that stopped working many decades ago.  The tide has shifted slightly in our direction, but it’s still a bloody uphill battle.

3 Comments on “It’s Official – Half Of American Adults Are Not Married

  1. I really would like to campaign for a marriage “lease”. The marriage “lease” would expire in 5 to 7 years, and the couple would have to actively renew the lease to stay married. Otherwise, they go there own separate ways without drama. Neither party would be foolish enough to mix assets knowing that the deal would be over in 5 to 7 years.

  2. My druthers would be that there is no government-recognized thing called “marriage” at all. Instead two people wanting to get married just go to church (or whatever) and get “married”. Then boom, they’re married. If they want some kind of legal document to cover finances, child custody, whatever, they go to an attorney and write one up and sign it, just like any other business transaction. In other words, the marriage is 100% between the two people and the government is not involved at all.

    Sadly that’s fantasy and will likely never happen. So my second-best choice is exactly what you’re talking about, except I’d have the marriage expire every TWO to THREE years. Five to seven years is way too long in my view…boredom, drama, cheating, etc, will set in way before then. A two-to-three year timeframe will ensure people stay “nice” to each other…or just have the marriage expire and move on.

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