20 First Date Rules
I’ve updated the rules just a little. Here they are in their entirety. I’ve slept with a hell of a lot of women following these rules (and others), so believe me they work. If you follow all 20 of these rules, your sexual results will dramatically improve. They are not listed in any particular order.
These are rules for men whose objective is to get to sex as fast as possible. If you’re “screening” for a wife or GF, trying to be a “gentleman”, trying to “play it cool”, trying to “be natural”, or any other things like that, I can’t help you. I help guys get laid, not help guys waste time or act like it’s still the 1950’s.
Note: The term “first date” is used loosely here. It can apply to an actual first date or a “first meet” or even a day2 meetup.
20 First Date Rules For Men
1. Never compliment her appearance. Even if she asks.
2. Avoid saying anything unless it’s a quick DHV or a question.
3. Let her do most of the talking. Shut up.
4. Avoid “job interview” questions. (“What do you do for a living?”, “What are your kids / parents like?”, “What do you like to do for fun?”) If you absolutely must ask some, keep them infrequent and spread them out over the entire conversation.
5. Never lie. Avoid directly answering questions if you must, but don’t state untruths.
6. Never discuss any of your past relationships or sexual experiences. If she directly asks, give her two or three generic sentences then re-direct back to her with a question. Getting her to discuss her past relationships or sexual experiences is not only okay, but a really good idea.
7. Make sure she laughs, even lightly, at least once every few minutes.
8. Relax and lean back.
9. Never give a shit about how a date will end up, or even if you ever see her again. (Outcome Independence.)
10. Never kiss a woman on a first date unless it’s VERY obvious you’re going to quickly be having sex on the first date. Touch her sensually, but do not kiss.
11. Avoid spending more than 15 dollars. Zero dollars is optimal. Spending money is for women you’re already having sex with, not first dates. (Note: Women over age 33 will hate this rule and take great offense to it.)
12. Maintain good eye contact.
13. Smile. Never try to act “cool”. Act relaxed instead.
14. Have two interesting, funny, DHV-filled stories from your life memorized and ready to deliver in case she’s not a talker.
15. Touch her often. Touch her hands, arms, upper back, and if you can get away with it (and usually you can if you’re doing things right), her thighs, hair, jewelry, and face. Remember, don’t kiss her unless it’s very obvious she’s down for sex right now.
16. Be sexual. Talk about sex. Get her to talk about sex.
17. Ignore all the advice you’ve ever heard about “negging”. Issuing “negs” is only helpful if she’s unusually hot, like a 10 or a high 9. Teasing and sarcasm are perfectly okay.
18. Arrive five minutes after she does.
19. Dress well.
20. Pay the tab. Remember, you’re only spending 15 dollars at most so who cares? Even if she goes for her wallet, tell her to put it away and pay the entire bill yourself. Only let her pay if she insists after you do this.
A few quick notes about these rules. If you’re already very good at quickly laying new women, some of these rules may not apply to you and you’re welcome to make exceptions whenever you like. If you’re a beginner or intermediate, you should stick with them as best you can until you get good.
These rules are within the context of the system I use and teach, which is one very fast, very inexpensive 60-minute first date, followed shortly after by a second date where you have sex. Under this system, the average amount of face-time with a woman before I have sex with her is four hours from meet to lay. If you want more details on exactly how to do this, go here.
If all you do is constantly try to fuck women on the first date (not a system I use or endorse but to each their own), some of these rules won’t make sense. On the opposite extreme, if you’re into AFC-like long expensive first dates, you really need to re-think your system.
If you haven’t been using these 20 rules, try them out on your next first date/meet. I think you’ll be very pleased at the results.