I’ve updated the rules just a little.  Here they are in their entirety.  I’ve slept with a hell of a lot of women following these rules (and others), so believe me they work.  If you follow all 20 of these rules, your sexual results will dramatically improve.  They are not listed in any particular order.

These are rules for men whose objective is to get to sex as fast as possible.  If you’re “screening” for a wife or GF, trying to be a “gentleman”, trying to “play it cool”, trying to “be natural”, or any other things like that, I can’t help you. I help guys get laid, not help guys waste time or act like it’s still the 1950’s.

Note: The term “first date” is used loosely here. It can apply to an actual first date or a “first meet” or even a day2 meetup.

20 First Date Rules For Men

1. Never compliment her appearance. Even if she asks.

2. Avoid saying anything unless it’s a quick DHV or a question.

3. Let her do most of the talking.  Shut up.

4. Avoid “job interview” questions.  (“What do you do for a living?”, “What are your kids / parents like?”, “What do you like to do for fun?”)  If you absolutely must ask some, keep them infrequent and spread them out over the entire conversation.

5. Never lie.  Avoid directly answering questions if you must, but don’t state untruths.

6. Never discuss any of your past relationships or sexual experiences.  If she directly asks, give her two or three generic sentences then re-direct back to her with a question.  Getting her to discuss her past relationships or sexual experiences is not only okay, but a really good idea.

7. Make sure she laughs, even lightly, at least once every few minutes.

8. Relax and lean back.

9. Never give a shit about how a date will end up, or even if you ever see her again.  (Outcome Independence.)

10. Never kiss a woman on a first date unless it’s VERY obvious you’re going to quickly be having sex on the first date.  Touch her sensually, but do not kiss.

11. Avoid spending more than 15 dollars. Zero dollars is optimal.  Spending money is for women you’re already having sex with, not first dates.  (Note: Women over age 33 will hate this rule and take great offense to it.)

12. Maintain good eye contact.

13. Smile. Never try to act “cool”. Act relaxed instead.

14. Have two interesting, funny, DHV-filled stories from your life memorized and ready to deliver in case she’s not a talker.

15. Touch her often.  Touch her hands, arms, upper back, and if you can get away with it (and usually you can if you’re doing things right), her thighs, hair, jewelry, and face.  Remember, don’t kiss her unless it’s very obvious she’s down for sex right now.

16. Be sexual. Talk about sex. Get her to talk about sex.

17. Ignore all the advice you’ve ever heard about “negging”.  Issuing “negs” is only helpful if she’s unusually hot, like a 10 or a high 9.  Teasing and sarcasm are perfectly okay.

18. Arrive five minutes after she does.

19. Dress well.

20. Pay the tab.  Remember, you’re only spending 15 dollars at most so who cares?  Even if she goes for her wallet, tell her to put it away and pay the entire bill yourself.  Only let her pay if she insists after you do this.

A few quick notes about these rules.  If you’re already very good at quickly laying new women, some of these rules may not apply to you and you’re welcome to make exceptions whenever you like.  If you’re a beginner or intermediate, you should stick with them as best you can until you get good.

These rules are within the context of the system I use and teach, which is one very fast, very inexpensive 60-minute first date, followed shortly after by a second date where you have sex.  Under this system, the average amount of face-time with a woman before I have sex with her is four hours from meet to lay.  If you want more details on exactly how to do this, go here.

If all you do is constantly try to fuck women on the first date (not a system I use or endorse but to each their own), some of these rules won’t make sense.  On the opposite extreme, if you’re into AFC-like long expensive first dates, you really need to re-think your system.

If you haven’t been using these 20 rules, try them out on your next first date/meet.  I think you’ll be very pleased at the results.

51 Comments on “20 First Date Rules

  1. Couple additions:

    I will not kiss someone just for the sake of kissing them. I will kiss them to build comfort, to make myself more memorable, but again, I will not kiss unless I know they are coming back to my place

    Once they are at my place, I couldn’t care less. Their shirt is probably coming off, I am probably getting to have a bit of fun with them…but if they say no sex, that’s okay. I’ve probably moved faster than most men ever have with them before…so I can always pick up from a later point once they leave.

    I’m in college, and I won’t spend any money on her if she orders something more than 5 bucks. She has enough orbiters…that’s not me. I will only pay for her if the convenience factor of NOT splitting a tab is less than the monetary value.

    And you’re spot on about the sex talk: Never use specific instances and lovers. Speaking in generalities IS good though:

    “I really love when you meet a sexual person, someone who’s just so comfortable you can just take them and….”

    But again, don’t ever bring up specifics or verbalize anything along the lines of “Well, if you and I had sex…” 😛 Ask how I know.

    Solid advice!

    Q for BD:

    What topics do you talk about?

  2. “Q for BD:

    What topics do you talk about?”

    I usually start in by talking about her work or school, then move the topic to her most recent guy relationships as soon as I can. From there I segue into sexual stuff and I’m kinoing. By then my hour is up and I’m outta there an on to the next chick or work appointment. I’ll then have the 2nd date a few days later, push for sex as hard as I can, and usually get it.

  3. Never ever shake a woman’s hand on a date. Bad. I’m not a touchy-feely guy so on a first date I usually do nothing physical when greeting her. On a second date I might hug or touch her arm. Many guys hug on the first/second date and I think that’s fine if that’s congruent with who you are.

  4. Great post, man, I just recently came to know your system and I must say, you’re dead-on on every topic I’ve just read. Great stuff indeed. I do have some things I would like to add or discuss.

    First of all, I’ve realized that guys in latin countries like me, tend to be more touchy-feely and I Must say, as an active Game practitioner for 3 very productive years, it has done nothing more than benefit me. Perhaps that’s the reason why the whole “latin-lover douche” is kind of a protagonist on their fantasies, LOL….I never….EVER IN MY LIFE just shake a girl’s hand on ANY situation (perhaps when I’m doing some sort of childish game). If she pulls up her hand expecting us to greet like that, I take it and very gently but naturally pull her, and not even making eye contact, just expose my cheek expecting her to kiss it. Hell, I even grab her shoulder or back and pull her towards me. Just like that. I even do this when meeting my friends’ moms. This creates a lot of familiarity right off the bat. The only women I don’t do this with are those who are on a higher hierarchy regarding my work (teachers, specialists, etc…). Protocolary kissing in the cheek is just how you treat equals of the opposite sex (Hell, in Argentina and southern countries of South America and Italy its just as natural to kiss a guy’s cheek if you’re a dude when you’re greeting…..sure, not western-men’s style, but just to show). Just go ahead and kiss her on the cheek. If you just shake their hand or greet them NOT TOUCHING but waving your hand, you’re just indicating there’s something wrong in doing so, which is completely preposterous. There is NOTHING wrong with it. Just do it like you do it 147 times a day. Like its really VERY natural for you, or anyone, to do it. If you make it a big deal THEY will make it a big deal. Period.

    I don’t actually see anything wrong on kissing a girl on the first date. I mean, regarding the time it takes for you to sleep with her….well, I feel it actually accelerates the process…seriously. I don’t usually sleep with them on the first date. Tried it, but not always very successfully. But I’ve had consistent love-making for the past year with my Game, and I haven’t yet noticed a HUUGEE difference between the meet-to-fuck period if you kiss her on the first date or you don’t. Regarding specifics, you must make sure the kiss is NOT at the end of the date like some cheesy-corny-romantic comedy crap. Instead, you have to build it. Create a lot of sexual tension in the air (such as talking sexually-playfully [not like some horny desperate loser], touching a lot and STRONG eye contact, even having strong silent moments where you stare at her eyes and very slowly smiling devilishly 😉 ). Those awkward silences don’t have to be so awkward after all, go figure. And when she least expects it, it can be at the middle, can be 20 minutes after you meet her, or, actually at the very greeting!! (only did it once, but worked-out pretty well :D), just stop whatever you’re doing or discussing (preferably if walking on some aisle or street) and literally STOP, turn to her and grab her. This will create a sort of short circuit on her. You just interrupted the pattern of emotionally filled conversation and comfort and suddenly, with a playful smile on your face, you make strong eye contact, say something short and to the point like “can you hold a secret?”, or “Oh God I can’t stand it anymore” or better yet “Oh My God…what are you doing?? (with a very surprised face :O) you naughty NAUGHTY WOMAN!” (as if you were the victim, although you’re clearly the horn dog 😉 ) and kiss her. Doesn’t matter if she can actually hold a secret or not. That is irrelevant. It just creates a beautiful and convenient state of confusion :D. I have done this DOZENS of times. Works like a charm. That last part is key: unpredictability. By following these steps, she will be feeling that you’re in control. You’re the man. You’re the one saying what is to be done and what isn’t. She won’t have a choice but stand in awe and be at the expectative of anything you’re about to do, naturally, in a very open-minded and receptive way. Women WANT to feel like they surrender to a greater power than their’s and that they are living one of the fantasies they read about on novels or watch on tv. When she is on THIS state of mind, that is, a receptiveness to whatever you do because you showed her YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BEING THE LEADER, then you can both leave and meet for a 2nd or 3rd date, on which, if you keep behaving like you did on the 1st one, then its really NO BIG DEAL taking her to bed.

    Third, regarding punctuality, well, it depends on the social context you’re in. In Germany, people are freakishly punctual, and get VERY upset if you aren’t. Yes, people includes women as well (insert funny joke here). It’s just how it is over there, and sincerely, its no big deal. Its better to adapt. In my homecountry, Colombia, on the other side, being STUPIDLY UNPUNCTUAL is kind of the Rule for girls here, LOL. Seriously, chicks can just cancel plans at the very last moment, for no freaking reason at all! Very frustrating indeed, but you have to learn to cope with it or you simply won’t get a lay if you take it too personally. You can feel that if you’re waiting for her for 2 hours before she gets there, then that will be translated as neediness, and if you arrive 2 hours later than what agreed, then that is waayyy to aloof and inconsiderate. If you want to be very strict about an appropriate time lapse for your arrival to a date, relative to the agreed time, then I would say +/-10 to 15 minutes. Remember, my favorite line in history: if you make it A BIG DEAL when she arrives late or you arrive late, then IT WILL BECOME A BIG DEAL. If you don’t, then it won’t. Just remember the social context part I wrote at the beginning. If she’s too upset about it, quickly change the subject, don’t give it any transcendence (because it is just NOT that important) and give her all of your manly charm ;). She WILL get over it quickly. I pinky-swear. That doesn’t mean that you can go: “Oh well, I don’t actually have a life :D, so whatevs if she cancels on me for any arbitrary reason, if there is one at all! LOL!”. The idea is to create so much fascination on her that she doesn’t even ponder on the thought of canceling. That clearly depends on your Game when you first meet her and your Text game (this last one is quite frankly, your best freaking tool, seriously.). But if she does, it’s not okay to show you’re butt-hurt, but it is very important for you to bust her balls if she does, playfully, and get over it with the cutie right beside you on the coffe place you’re now standing ;). If she keeps on it, be a man and stand up for yourself, telling her how it is getting old and its quite disrespectful. That is also attractive; having convictions and setting clear boundaries on her.

    Another great thing to do is: stop calling it a “date”. That term just makes it sound like that social convention people had decades ago of a guy inviting a girl to dinner, paying for everything like a chump, and expecting her to fuck him, just for being SO NICE!. Thats a load of bull. Instead call it a “hang out” or whatever other silly name you can come up with. Leaves all the protocolary crap aside and that way they don’t feel the pressure of not knowing how they are supposed to act.

    Your posts are a GREAT read, dude, I shall be coming here more often, for I agree with 100% of the things you say, with my little personal tweaks on the subject. Great job man, keep the good stuff coming up! Have a great day!

  5. Thanks Blackdragon and DaviT. You have both written excellent advice here. This should help a ‘noobie’ such as myself! Cheers.

  6. Don’t ever listen to a man for advice on how to treat a women.
    Biggest wrong: talk about sex. My friends and I would not be on a second date with you. Looks like that is all you are interested in!!!

  7. If you were on a first date with a man you were very attracted to, I have a feeling you would have no problem with him talking about sex in a way you enjoyed.

  8. Poor misinformed Kfin. And she even says it as if women weren’t interested at all in sex. Poor, poor Kfin. Oh well.

  9. Well, some of the advice are ok but mostly this is crap. Ever read by a girl yet? Now, yes. And that’s not really good.

  10. You’re probably right. It make sense that we don’t agree with your advice. It’s not like you’re trying to get girls… Oh, excuse me, you are!! You should listen to what women have to say about it.

  11. A major sticking point for me is that I get stuck in polite conversation on a date and then have no idea how to turn it sexual. Sometimes a girl acts overtly flirty right out the gate and you can get sexual with these girls quick because they have a sexual vibe. But for girls with a more reserved demeanor, you have to build comfort with them first. But in that comfort-building conversation you can easily get stuck there and then turning sexual will feel out of place and could even weird her out. Any strategies here?

  12. BD, I discovered your blog just now in my effort to solve a problem I have faced several times until now; in 5 months I went to 8 dates with women I cold approached and took their number within 5 minutes. After a 45-minute first date I led each one of them to my place (which by the way is 25km away from the place I met them). I manage to make out, touch them on or under their clothes and get their top off, but I get last minute resistance. I drop the ball after 40 minutes of effort and then I don’t get a second date. When I try to call them, they just don’t pick up. What do you make out of this? What is my mistake? Do they somehow have second thoughts later?

  13. Your problems are precisely why I don’t endorse a one-date system. I use a two-date system (but only grand total 3-4 hours of face time). Do some more reading around this blog and my ebooks for more information.

  14. Avoid spending more than 15 dollars. Zero dollars is optimal.

    How many Zero dollars first dates have you been on? Where do you do your first dates?

  15. How many Zero dollars first dates have you been on?

    About 30% of my first dates cost me zero dollars. The number of first dates I’ve been on over the last several years numbers well into the triple digits, so I guess do the math.

    Where do you do your first dates?

    Usually either a cool bar, nice coffee shop, fancy self-serve deli, or mall food court, in about that order of frequency.

  16. True, a cool bar isn’t free, but it’s often just around $12 or so; that’s one drink for you and one for her. That’s pretty close to free.

    Coffee shops are indeed free. I’ve had tons of Starbucks first dates where the woman and I just sit and talk for an hour, and simply never bother to get up to get anything. When they see I’m not eating or drinking anything, they’ll even say, “I don’t need anything”.

  17. I really think rule 1 should be, “Acknowledge her full humanity: she is a person not a piece of meat for you to put your dick in”

  18. Dear BD,

    I have ordered the ebook listed above and read it but I still have an unanswered question. I understand not trying for sex on the first date with a woman you meet online but have never met in person. However, I often meet women in a bar and talk or drink together for 20-40 minutes. If such a woman meets me for a date after that, I have a very high success rate of sex on that second meeting (first date) and keeping them around.

    Therefore, I would like to confirm that your two date method is referring to women who you have never met in person, in which case pushing for sex on the first meeting/date is akin to a one night stand of someone you just met in a club or bar? In my experience such one night stands end after the first sexual encounter ( I have only had one exception where I had a one night stand and the woman kept meeting me thereafter ).

    Thank you.

  19. Correct; it’s different if you’ve already met the woman in real life. (Exactly what to do varies based on the situation.)

  20. BD, I have a question about the definition of a first date. I met a very cute 23 yo at a beer garden event and sat near her talking with very very little escalation for about one hour. We exchanged contact and I invited her to dinner the following week which she accepted. When she came to our date she was very happy to see me and hold my arm as we walked. I then tried to take her to a love hotel but she did not want to and we had drinks where I escalated and kissed. Although this method of first meet, then go all out on first date has worked for me before it scared her off. Do you think I should have considered our first dinner date as the first date, or as the second date where I try to have sex with her? Thank you.

  21. We exchanged contact and I invited her to dinner the following week which she accepted.

    No dinner dates pre-sex!

    I then tried to take her to a love hotel but she did not want to

    Right. Because you took her to dinner.

    Do you think I should have considered our first dinner date as the first date, or as the second date where I try to have sex with her?

    Yes. What you’re describing is what PUAs call a day2, which is the equivalent of a first date.

    Day2 means you meet a girl very briefly during daygame or whatever, then have a date later where you can spend more time. Under this scenario, that first meet isn’t a date; it’s just a few minutes. So yes, what you’re describing is what I term the “first date.”

  22. Thanks BD. She was so much my type that I rushed it and ultimately lost her. That is one reason I think your method is superior to Roosh who always advises to go for the lay on the first date, because if you scare her away by being too aggressive then there is no second chance (in my opinion).

  23. Touch her often. Touch her hands, arms, upper back, and if you can get away with it (and usually you can if you’re doing things right), her thighs, hair, jewelry, and face. Remember, don’t kiss her unless it’s very obvious she’s down for sex right now.

    Maybe better belly than thighs, and about touching jewelry, well… hard to see the point to it.

  24. Would this system still be as effective with a girl who is a virgin? Would it generally take the same amount of time to have sex if she is inexperienced

  25. @ED

    The date, which is set up to spike/maintain her attraction, should go the same way regardless of her past sexual experience. Girls are all attracted to Outcome Independence, confidence and so on, which is what these tips makes shine out of you.

    From personal experience, I can tell you that for me, it has taken longer time to bed virgins and girls with only 1 previous sexual partner than other girls. However, it is still very doable within a short timeframe, and the path is still the same. You might have to dial back the player vibe just a little bit more than usual, but unless you are interested in monogamy (you shouldn’t be), you still need to have a clear frame that makes her know you are not going to be her “boyfriend”.

    What’s important is that you will see all the same signs of attraction, maybe even more so, because no other man has ever taken her to bed. In my experience, virgins will “put you on a pedestal” very quickly because they have usually had many betas try (and end up in the friend zone) and alphas (who were too player-ish) try before you and fail.

    Be careful not to break their hearts. Their first sexual experience can mean a lot to them, and since they are very bad at reading signals (due to lack of experience).

  26. Would this system still be as effective with a girl who is a virgin?

    If she’s under the age of 23, yes.

    If she’s over the age of 23, yes, but you might need an extra date or two to actually get in there.

  27. Would it generally take the same amount of time to have sex if she is inexperienced

    I’m 28. In 2016 I have encountered these women, among others:

    — 25 y. o., 1 previous partner. Sex on the second date. Her clinginess was a big factor in us not being together for long.
    — 18/0. Met her in 2015 (that was before I started applying BD techniques) through social circle, met her three more times (widely spaced in time) in a rather platonic manner, then in 2016 decided to act, and on the first “real” date got to her tits. After about 5 more dates, each more sexual than the previous one (but no sex or BJs), she started refusing meets claiming extreme lack of free time, I think that’s an LSNFTE.
    — 25/1. Sex on the third date. Didn’t work out primarily due to her Dominant nature.
    — 28/0. The first date left a very “meh” impression, we didn’t seem to “click” at all, though no animosity either. I pestered her for some time and got a second date in a couple of weeks, on that date I came in her mouth. Getting to sex was quite slow to avoid causing her pain, but eventually (after a couple of dates) we did it. So far (~3 mo) we seem to be getting along well. She’s very very open and frank and interested in trying out a wide variety of sexual activities.
    — 25/0. The second date resulted in her staying the night. She woke me in the middle of the night, horny, and gave me a BJ. But no sex. I disliked just about everything I found out about her personality, so I performed an experiment by giving her The Talk. Hadn’t heard from her since.
    — 30/?. She did have experience, but all of it abusive. Sex on the third date. So far (~2 mo) we seem to be getting along well.

    I’m finding it takes a huge deviation from the norm for BD’s guidelines to stop being applicable. If in doubt, it seems safe to adhere to them 100% of the time.

  28. I’ve just gone back and re-read your book on filling your calendar with dates and also getting to sex quickly, two quick questions on first dates.

    I live in China, and the women are extremely inexperienced overall. It is very common to meet a girl who is a virgin in the 20+ age range, and others typically have dated only one or maybe two guys. So, when I ask the “are you dating a lot or a little” I get always the same reply, “I’m not dating at all,” or “i’ve never dated” or something along those lines. Any tips on getting to sexy talk without that line and with shy conservative girls? (note, for all that, I find they are WAY easier to escalate than American women, almost no ASD whatsoever, so maybe it’s just not necessary, but still I’m interested to try)

    Another thing, I get the sense that it is important that I need to be directing from the beginning, and I totally understand why you say that if a woman tries suggesting a dinner date or movie date or something like that, it’s important to control the situation and tell her where the date will be. Recently I had a girl pipe up after I asked her out, saying she knew a “nice bar” that was next to her campus we could meet at. Is it still important at that point to try and control the situation or since she’s suggesting a bar and she thinks its nice, is it ok to go there? It feels weak to agree, but on the other hand I’m thinking she’ll feel more comfortable…I wasn’t sure how to call it.

  29. I live in China, and the women are extremely inexperienced overall. It is very common to meet a girl who is a virgin in the 20+ age range, and others typically have dated only one or maybe two guys.

    Yep, that’s normal in China.

    So, when I ask the “are you dating a lot or a little” I get always the same reply, “I’m not dating at all,” or “i’ve never dated” or something along those lines

    Yeah, I would not ask that question if you’re in China.

    Any tips on getting to sexy talk without that line and with shy conservative girls?

    Talk about things like their favorite male celebrities or music stars. Get them talking about what attracts them in men, irrelevant of sex.

    (note, for all that, I find they are WAY easier to escalate than American women, almost no ASD whatsoever

    Correct!!!

    By the way, I have an Chinese Alpha Male 2.0 book and project on the drawing board, modifying my Alpha 2.0 concepts for a Chinese market. I can’t tell you when it will happen, since I don’t know yet, but it’s going to happen.

  30. No kidding? Yeah I’ve been seriously thinking, although I’d be unqualified in the US, I’m WELL qualified over here to teach pickup, these guys are in the stone age when it comes to women, it would take very very little to improve their game 1000%. The mentality that you have to have a bunch of money and  buy sex from women is deeply ingrained. I had a conversation with my landlord, a middle aged guy, telling him a bit about the lifestyle. I told him I’d be happy to teach him. He just said “I don’t have enough money to get girlfriends” “No no, you don’t need money, seriously.” “Yes, but, I don’t have any money”. He seriously kept saying that like five times til he finally heard me, then fell back on “well you can only do it without money because you’re white.” Despite fitting the stereotype (tall blonde/blue/fit) I’m convinced that’s not a meaningful advantage. The correct translation seems to me to be that “white guys have game, and Chinese guys have anti-game”.

    I’m really curious what changes you’ll make, will you recommend going for first date lays for example? With the exception of the virgins, I find a really large % of girls are perfectly willing to go to my place after having a cup of tea or a walk in a nearby park with only an hour or less of comfort-building.  Worth noting I’ve had zero success with daygame here however. Online dating is VERY suited to the cultural inclinations. But, it seems to me that the true 9’s and 10’s are available pretty exclusively through social circle. I know I’d happily pay big money if you could crack daygame here, for what that’s worth ; p

    Anyway, the point is the market is certainly ripe. So I assume you are planning on moving over here for a period of time and dating a bunch of Chinese girls for research or what? Let me know if you need a consultant or data contribution, anything like that 😉

     

  31. This is one of the many reasons why I give the advice of never kissing a woman on a first date

    Interesting.  Roosh says the opposite – *always* kiss on the first date.
    I have often followed his advice, but then a high rate of no callbacks after the kissing on the first date..
    I’m confused about this.  It is possible that Roosh’s first date is 2-3 hours, while yours is just one hour, so that may be an important detail.  But still……… what to do?  There is conflicting guidance out there…

  32. I was referred to an attractive girl from a friend of mine.   She put in a good word about me and  recommended that  I  reach out and send her text or call. I initiated and sent her a text last week. We’ve texted a few times back  and forth  and I  had one conversation with her.  I asked her if she was up for going to dinner on Saturday but she has a friend’s birthday party to attend.  Do you recommend me texting or  calling her or wait until she reaches out to me ?

     

     

     

     

  33. BD what if she asks what do I do for fun, hobbies etc? I am an active athlete and love some extreme shit and travelling around the world. Luckily I was born with good genetics on a decent wealthy family, and have had and taken many opportunities like this. I think travelling demonstrates high value? I love going to good concerts , I usually hate clubbing till I puke and only go to places I enjoy and dance and have fun. Should I just redirect the question to her? I feel like it’s an opportunity to dhv

  34. The #1 priority when DHVing is to be brief and to be relatable. If you say, for example, that thankfully you have the ability to travel by yacht and you take that opportunity often, you should then redirect but in a relatable way—so don’t ask her opinion on yachting, but rather on something very basic, like water in general. Does seeing a river give her wanderlust? Does she have a quiet pond where she goes to contemplate? Did she have a great time on the beach as a child with her siblings like you did—splashes in your face on your yacht remind you of this? The possibilities are endless.

  35. What is the theory behind not kissing on the 1st date? Why is kissing without sex such a bad thing?

  36. What is the theory behind not kissing on the 1st date? Why is kissing without sex such a bad thing?

    According to BD it statistically reduces the odds of a lay, especially if your goal is to get laid several times. The simple way to check if it applies to your style and your city is to go on 20 ‘second dates’: 10 where you had kissed on the first date, and 10 where you avoided kissing on the first date. If you get laid more in the second group, then it’s confirmed, though 200 instead of 20 would be a better sample.

    I try not to care about the theory because it’s often hard to tell, but possibly because it spikes ASD.

  37. My problem is I often don’t get a 2nd date when I kiss on the 1st date (without going for the lay). I’m wondering if the reason for that is because I kissed without escalating to sex or if there is some other reason for it.

  38. Folks, this works!!!

    First off thanks to BD for an excellent source of wisdom and information.  I have been following for a while and have learned so much here.  My appreciation can not be expressed enough.

    About 2 weeks ago I met a woman at a party, got her number and didn’t interact much more that night.  The following day she hit me up with something like “Great meeting you” and I invited her out to a brunch type thing.  Spent about $11, walked around a bit afterwords (great kino) and that was it.  Minimal contact from then on until about a week later she wanted to get together again so I suggested a place about 10 minutes from me.  We had a couple of slices of pizza and talked for about an hour.  As we were wrapping things up I grabbed her hand, started caressing the inside of her arm (more kino) and said “Hey I am not far from here, stop over for a glass of wine”.

    I saw her wind up a bit and for a moment thought I was going to hit some ASD but instead she said “I would love to!”.  Another hour or so later it was game on.

    This stuff works, big time!  I got married very young and had no game before, during or after.  Once single I tried to be captain Save a Ho which worked out about as well as can be expected.

    Since this is still relatively new territory for me I have some more things to navigate, mainly how to keep things from escalating too much or ending up with oneitis.  Either way I doubt I would have seen results like this using my old method, which was basically Beta to the core.  And usually not getting laid 🙂

     

     

  39. 2. Avoid saying anything unless it’s a quick DHV or a question.

    3. Let her do most of the talking.  Shut up.

    Good advice taking into account (intuitively, I think) Wiko’s laws of communication.

     

     

  40. TOM

    I really think rule 1 should be, “Acknowledge her full humanity: she is a person not a piece of meat for you to put your dick in”

    Blackdragon
    June 17, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Yes. Acknowledge her humanity, then have sex with her.

     

    😅

    Seriously Tom, what people are or are not, as well as what they want and do not want, is told not by their words or conscious thoughts, but by their actions, and what actions in the other person they reward or penalize.

    Yes, the contrast is stark, and probably depressing — but it’s there and it can not be changed, it can only accepted or not (you can opt out of the game if you can’t assent to its rules).

Leave a Reply

To leave a comment, enter your comment below. PLEASE make sure to read the commenting rules before commenting, since failure to follow these rules means your comment may be deleted. Also please do not use the username “Anonymous” or “Anon” or any variation thereof (makes things too confusing).

Off-topic comments are allowed, but Caleb will ignore those.

Caleb responds to comments in person, but he only does so on the two most current blog articles.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search.