Don’t “Screen” Women. Instead, Categorize
Note: I’m going to be using a lot of community-specific and Blackdragon-specific terms in this post. Be sure to refer to the Glossary if you run into a term or acronym you’re not familiar with.
There’s a lot of talk about “screening” for women. If you’re looking for a girlfriend, they say, you need to “screen” for a woman who as all the correct traits of a girlfriend. Whatever the hell those are supposed to be, and every guy seems to have their own opinions. Screen for smart women. Low-drama women. Women who aren’t promiscuous. Educated women. Women from good families. Women who haven’t fucked too many guys. Women whose parents haven’t gotten divorced (yet).
Screen out religious women…or screen for women of your same religion (no matter how repressive or irrational your religion is). Screen out women from wealthy families…or screen for women from wealthy families. Screen for high-sex-drive women, or screen out high-sex-drive women and go for “medium” sex-drive women. Etc, etc, the list is endless. You won’t find two guys with the same list of what makes a “quality” woman.
Sometimes some of the things make sense. Sort of. Other times, man, I’ve heard some of the craziest stuff men “screen” for or “screen” out, often to the point of ridiculousness.
I’m going to be a contrarian. (Shocking I know.) I’m going to tell you to not screen women at all. And I’m going to tell you that all this “screening” stuff is actually harmful to you, your game, and your future relationships. First I’m going to tell you why screening is bad, then I’m going to tell you exactly what to do instead.
Why Screening Is Bad
1. It promotes guy-Disney when you should be doing your best to erase guy-Disney out of your head, every bit as much as you should be erasing the concept that a magical fat guy in a red suit is going to give you a bunch of free stuff on December 25th.
“Screening” further nails into your skull the concept that somewhere out there is that One Special Girl™ who is Not Like The Rest™ who will Love You Forever™. The problem is there is no girl out there like this. Yes, there some women who are much better than others, but the vast majority have no interest in being with you forever. A few years, yes. Forever, no. The few who would stay with you forever are not the kind of woman you’d be attracted to enough to want to be with forever.
Moreover, “cool chicks” do not stay cool. They’re cool for a while until betaization starts kicking in. This might take 3 months, or it might take 3 years, but it will start to happen. Especially if you make them your “girlfriend” (or even if you start acting like a “boyfriend”). Sorry to break it to you, but that’s just how women are designed. Even Dolls are serial monogamists at heart, emphasis on the word “serial”, meaning “temporary”. If you want a woman who will stay with you forever, start dating women over age 50.
What is that you’re saying? Women over 50 are too old? Okay. Then accept women under 50 for who they are and what they actually do in real life, not what you want them to be. If you want to read more about this, go here.
2. It tricks you into passing over perfectly cool, perfectly attractive women who will fuck you. I’m simply amazed when I talk to a guy and the converstaion goes like this:
Guy: “Oh yeah, she was nice, but I didn’t like her that much. She wasn’t that smart.”
BD: “So you didn’t fuck her?”
Guy: “Nah. I didn’t bother. She was too dumb.”
BD: “Was she hot?”
Guy: “Oh yeah. She was really cute.”
BD: “Then dude, WHAT THE FUCK?”
Refusing to fuck a perfectly fuckable woman because she’s not this perfect fantasy woman who would make a “great girlfriend” or whatever IS FUCKING INSANE. If she’s hot and she’s not a complete bitch to you, STOP WITH THE SCREENING SHIT AND HAVE SEX WITH HER.
3. It adds yet another layer of complexity and nervousness to your game when you’re out meeting women, and unless you’re a natural or master pickup artist who can get laid whenever you want, you should not be complicating things at this point. Fuck a lot of girls first. Then worry about your fantasy dream girl. (Actually, if you’re fucking lots of girls, that dream girl will come to you. More on this in a minute.) If you’re already in an open marriage or OLTR and you’re on the hunt for “side women”, this concept goes double for you.
4. If/when you come across a chick who meets all of your “screening” criteria, your outcome independence will be completely destroyed. OI is one of the most attractive qualities to females, and you won’t have any. You’ll suddenly want it to work. You won’t want to “screw it up”. Boom, instantly lose 30 points.
5. It promotes oneitis and a scarcity mentality. If this “cool” chick agrees to start dating you, you’ll get oneitis so fast it’ll make your head spin. I see a lot of this. A guy will date two or three girls and then fall HARD for girl number four, and spend the next year of his life defending his decision as She’s Not Like The Rest™ and “You-don’t-understand-it-will-take-me-another-three-years-of-dating-to-find-another-girl-like-this.” Bad, bad, bad.
Okay, great. But I WANT that special girl someday! If I can’t screen, what do I do instead?
Instead of screening out women, you fuck every woman who is fuckable to you, then you categorize them based on how they behave.
Step one is simply, fuck everybody. (Use condoms please.) By everybody I mean every woman you would fuck purely based on how they physically look. If she’s clearly to ugly for you, of course don’t fuck her and move on as fast as you can. But if her appearance is at least in the “fuckable” category TO YOU, then you proceed, escalate, and have sex with her, regardless of any other negative traits she might have.
This is what I do. When I’m on a first date with a cute chick, I don’t give a shit how smart or dumb she is, what her parents are like, what political party she votes for, her taste in clothing, if she seems like a “freak” or a “good girl”, or even how drama-prone she is. After fucking her for a month or two I might start caring about those things. Maybe. But right now, I couldn’t care less. If she’s hot, I PROCEED AND HAVE SEX WITH HER. And I enjoy it. A lot.
Some of the best sex of my life has been with “dumb” girls or “freaks” or “sluts” or “bitches” or “liars”. If she’s hot, I…don’t…care. (Again, use condoms please.)
Of course, use common sense. I pass on wolves (women who are involved in dangerous, violent, and/or illegal activities). Duh. As regular readers already know, I will also pass on hardcore goldiggers or any other women I know are not going to have sex with me without making me jump through a bunch of hoops.
Not because I’m “screening”, but because I know sex will never happen with these women because I’m not going to be buying them anything other than maybe a drink or two pre-lay. However, other than these two extremes, if she’s fuckable to me, I will fuck her. Period.
After you have sex with a woman two to three times and a week or three have gone by, you’re going to have a very good idea what she’s about. This is when you keep on fucking her, but you also categorize her. You clearly define her role in your life. The three possible categories are:
2. WD / MLTR
3. Possible candidate for OLTR
(If you’ve read my book on open relationships, you already know all about these categories. Otherwise, hit the glossary right now if you aren’t familiar with those terms.) Within two weeks of me first starting a sexual relationship with a woman, you can be damn sure I’ve mentally placed her in one of those three categories.
If she’s really stupid but really fun to fuck, she’s an FB (and an extremely enjoyable one…FBs are good). If she’s a really cool person but her life is full of chaos and problems, she’s also an FB until she cleans up her act. If she’s really hot and fun to be with and interesting to talk to and not a ball of chaos and I like her as “more than a friend”, she’s an MLTR. If she’s completely amazing in every way and really impresses me, she’s a candidate for OLTR. She’s not an OLTR yet…that is a very special position of honor in my life and thus takes many months, if not years, to qualify for.
If it’s hard to say where she fits, she’s a WD until I can figure out something more definite. (This is rare but it does occasionally happen.)
The categories are not static. You can downgrade women or upgrade women whenever it makes sense to do so. Maybe you have an MLTR who starts getting a little bitchy on you. Boom. Downgrade her to FB. Maybe you have a pure FB who you starts to impress you. This does happen. No problem, upgrade her to MLTR. Maybe you have an MLTR who you eventually completely fall in love with. Upgrade her to OLTR or (god forbid) a monogamous girlfriend (you all know my opinion regarding monogamy but hey, it’s your life).
Here’s the great thing about all this. As you start fucking and categorizing multiple women, one or two women are going to rise up from the group and really amaze you in surprising ways. She/they will be so wonderful, you’ll start falling in love, or close to it. I can tell you from extensive experience doing this for many years, this always happens. You don’t have to go looking for Ms. Perfect; instead she will present herself to you.
Pick your favorite one, and then boom, there’s your “cool girlfriend”. (Or if you’re smart, OLTR.) If you want to go monogamous (cough, puke), go for it. If you’re smart like me, promote your favorite woman to OLTR or “favorite” MLTR and keep fucking your FBs on the side.
You’ve now accomplished your goal of finding that “cool chick” and gotten a lot of sex along the way. Not a bad deal at all. This is a far, far superior system than this “screening” stuff. Not only do you get that “cool chick” much faster, but you get laid a lot along the way. Can’t beat that (although many men try).
By the way, there is a fourth category you can downgrade a woman to at any time:
That’s right. If she gives you any trouble, you should soft next (or even hard next) her ass, regardless of what category she’s in. The point here is instead of nexting her on the first date because you don’t like the way she laughs or whatever, you should instead enjoy sex with her for a few weeks or months and if she starts giving you trouble, THEN next her. (Hopefully soft next her so she can return to your life shortly afterward.)
Really think about this. Doesn’t this system make more sense? Especially when our goal here is to GET LAID?