When Harry Met Sally Orgasm

Want a woman to set you apart from every other man she’s ever had sex with?

Always make her cum.

Want a woman to always come back to you over and over again?  Possibly for the rest of her life?

Always make her cum.

Want a woman to choose you over another potential partner she’s already slept with?

Always make her cum.

Want a woman to “put up” with the fact you’re still sleeping with other women besides her?

Always make her cum.

Want a woman who will gladly obey any of your orders during sex and who will do whatever you want?

Always make her cum.

Want to ensure she’ll come back to you at some point even after she breaks up with you?  Even after she gets a serious boyfriend?  Even after she marries some guy?

Always make her cum.

A large number of men find the process of bringing a woman to orgasm a tedious one.  And yeah, there are some women out there who take a long, long time to get there.  You still should do it.

If she’s just a one night stand and you never plan on seeing her again, then I suppose it doesn’t matter if she cums or not, but if you have any intention of ever having sex with her again, you need to do whatever is necessary to make her cum.

This is especially true if you’re mostly into FB or poly relationships, where she is going to have to tolerate the fact you’re out there sleeping with other women.  If you don’t give her orgasms, she won’t last long under those conditions; her ASD and societal programming will win over your weak sexual prowess.  If you are making her cum, she’ll make all kinds of excuses to repeatedly see you again.  Even if she gets a boyfriend.  Even if she has a baby with some other guy.  Even if she gets a husband.  I’ll say it again, “Ask me how I know.”

There are ways to bring a woman to vaginal or g-spot orgasm just by fucking her in certain positions.  The easiest way to bring most women to orgasm is to work her clit with your tongue until it happens.  There are a bazillion ways to do this and I’m not going to list them all here.  The point is to just get your tongue down there and get to work and stick with it until she cums.  Some women will cum very fast doing this.  Some take longer.  Some take a really, really long time.

I don’t care.  Always make her cum.

Some women, I’d say about 20% or so, will cum vaginally just by you fucking them normally.  That’s awesome, and I consider women like this a bonus.  However most women are not going to be in this category.  Most women have no idea how to cum vaginally without being taught how to do it.  If she’s an LTR, OLTR, or important MLTR, go ahead and purse that route if you like.  Just make sure she cums while you’re teaching her, even if that means resorting to tongue/clit.

Some women can’t cum at all, always for psychological reasons.  These women are problematic.  Work with them as best you can.  Try to make her cum if you can using tongue clit.  Even if they don’t cum, make them feel as wonderful as possible.  Your goal is to get her to cum at some point.  I promise you if you can’t make her cum, she will not last with you unless you promise to be her serious monogamous BF or husband.

A few tips on making her cum:

– Always make sure the fingernails on your index and middle fingers are clipped down to the skin.  You can really hurt a gal if you are fingering her properly but have even partially grown nails on those fingers.  If they’re clipped down well, you can really go to town without worrying about hurting her

– Practice working her clit with your tongue   Your tongue is a muscle just like any other that will weaken from neglect and strengthen with use.

– Sadly, orgasms for women are at least 80% mental .  That means unless she’s very accustomed to cumming with you, before you “begin” on her, make sure she’s completely comfortable and relaxed.  Remember that women perceive more input concurrently than we do.  Make she’s not too cold or hot, the lighting is appropriate for her comfort level, she’s got a pillow for her head, any music that is playing is something soothing and that she likes, etc, etc.  Yes, all this feminine crap makes a difference.

– SUCK the clit rather than licking it.  It feels better for her (in most cases) and will wear out your tongue less

– LEARN exactly where the g-spot is.  It feels like a little fingertip located in the back of her pussy.  Google around and find some diagrams.  Then practice on your current girl. You need to get to the point where you can instantly locate the g-spot on any new woman you have sex with.  I remember the day I got there…the first time I found a gal’s g-spot within about 2 seconds of putting my fingers inside her for the first time, she was amazed as hell.  And came a lot.  And this was a woman in her early 30’s who had plenty of sexual experience.

No more excuses.

Always make her cum.

Category: Sex

29 Comments on “Make Her Cum

  1. “Sadly, orgasms for women are at least 80% mental”

    Sadly? That is what is a good thing imo, otherwise any dude with a dick could make any woman come, and they’d come equally long/hard/many times with those guys as they do with you. It’s that very part that makes guys who know what their doing stand out. =)

    G-spot: Fingertip in the back of her pussy? Sounds like you are talking about the cervix?

  2. That statement was made from the woman’s point of view. Part of me is sad that women can’t just cum regardless of what’s going on in their heads, like us guys can. But your point is a very good one. We should count our blessings. 🙂

    The G spot is located just before the cervix, located slightly above it (assuming she’s laying down). To me it feels like a soft fingertip, but it’s been described as a “little bean”.

  3. Always? That can be a lot of time and effort, how about neglecting her sexually and replacing her when she leaves? Would it not be more efficient?
    Why do I have to work my ass off keeping her a sexual option if I can create new ones? How about getting the most out of them and thus letting the ones who are really compatible with me remain in my life (the ones who are happy enough to stay with minimal effort on my part)?

  4. Good, logical question! And I have a good, logical answer:

    Because it’s 50 times less effort to fuck a girl you just had sex with last week than to fuck a new girl you haven’t even met yet. Keeping a stable of woman around for sex is much less work than constantly hitting the bars, bookstores, or dating sites pursuing new ones, even if you’re good at it, and even considering the time it takes to make some of your current women cum.

    (Of course, if you’re the kind of guy who really likes the effort necessary to sarge and seduce new women, this entire conversation is irrelevant.)

  5. Yes it’s a lot less effort to just fuck her, but always making her cum can be a hassle. By replacing her you get diversity in your sex life, and the egoistical sex (taking without giving, minimizing the effort).
    Of course, if you’re the kind of guy who really likes the effort necessary to always make her cum…
    I will admit though that a woman you please is a much better company than one you leave unsatisfied.

  6. In response to Greg, really, if you’re expending a lot of effort to make her cum, you’re doing it wrong. I’m by no means a guy with the MOST sexual prowess, but I can tell you right now, if you don’t have them mentally completely turned on and soaking wet for you before you ever penetrate them, you’re doing it wrong.

  7. Since we’re talking about an emotional decision on the part of the woman to come back for more, how about making her cum just sometimes, so you use the positive reinforcement to its maximum benefit? Would it not be more efficient?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement#Intermittent_reinforcement

    “Pigeons experimented on in a scientific study were more responsive to intermittent reinforcement than continuous reinforcement. In other words, pigeons were more prone to act when they only sometimes could get what they wanted. This effect was such that behavioral responses were maximized when the reward rate was at 50% (in other words, when the uncertainty was maximized), and would gradually decline toward values on either side of 50%. R.B Sparkman, a journalist specialized on what motivates human behavior, claims this is also true for humans, and may in part explain human tendencies such as gambling addiction.”

  8. Since we’re talking about an emotional decision on the part of the woman to come back for more, how about making her cum just sometimes, so you use the positive reinforcement to its maximum benefit? Would it not be more efficient?

    You’re getting all scientific on me.

    Scientificly, you might be right. I’ve never tested it. Making a woman cum 100% of the time has been so effective I’ve never felt the need to deviate. But you’re welcome to try it!

  9. The theory proposes you can drop the positive reinforcement to 50% and get MORE consistency on their emotional decisions, I’m sure you see the benefits of trying it out 😉

  10. Does it count if she rubs her clit and orgasms during sex? Do I still have to pleasure her afterwards or can I take the night off? I’ve been going with the latter option of course, not sure if it counts as ME making her cum (but I really hope it does).

    How do you go about doing it? Before sex, during or after? The way it goes for me is I fuck them a while with no chance of them cumming, then I have an orgasm, take a few minutes to relax, then go down on them. It sucks because I really have to push myself to do it and it’s a little awkward after that relaxation to go down on her out of nowhere (I do it because I must but try not to show it). How do you go about it?

    [quote]LEARN exactly where the g-spot is. It feels like a little fingertip located in the back of her pussy. [/quote]

    From my research it’s not in the back of her pussy but rather behind her pubic bone, right inside the vagina and upwards. Though I haven’t found that touching them there blows their mind unless I use that energetic up-down motion (the one you can find in that squirting tutorial) that really hurts my hand after about 30 seconds. What you describe seems to be the cervix. Are you talking about the ‘deep spot’ (from David Shade’s manual)?

  11. Does it count if she rubs her clit and orgasms during sex?

    TECHNICALLY yes, it does count. To get all those pair bonding chemicals produced in her brain, she needs to cum with you, even if she technically makes herself cum.

    But IDEALLY you should be the one making her cum. I would let her make herself cum and then over time in the relationship work yourself up to the point where it’s something you are doing to her.

    How do you go about doing it? Before sex, during or after?

    During. I usually take a break from pounding and go down on her, make her cum, then continue. But that’s me. Do what whatever you like.

    From my research it’s not in the back of her pussy but rather behind her pubic bone, right inside the vagina and upwards. Though I haven’t found that touching them there blows their mind unless I use that energetic up-down motion (the one you can find in that squirting tutorial) that really hurts my hand after about 30 seconds. What you describe seems to be the cervix. Are you talking about the ‘deep spot’ (from David Shade’s manual)?

    I don’t know anything about the public bone, but I’m definitely not talking about the cervix. The G-spot isn’t back that far. If you stick your longest (middle) finder in far enough, you’ll feel it in the back (sometimes a little to the one side). It’s a very obvious lump, very smooth to the touch. It’s harder to find on taller women or women with less shallow vaginas, easier to find on shorter/smaller women. But it’s unusual not to find it at all unless you have very short fingers and/or she’s unusually big or tall.

  12. “I usually take a break from pounding and go down on her, make her cum, then continue.”

    Do you stay hard the whole time you perform oral sex on her, get back to fucking her if you feel you’re going limp, or just change condoms and get hard again after she cums?

    “If you stick your longest (middle) finder in far enough, you’ll feel it in the back (sometimes a little to the one side). It’s a very obvious lump, very smooth to the touch.”

    My research correlates well with “The location of the G-spot is typically reported as being about 50 to 80 mm (2 to 3 in) inside the vagina, on the front wall.”[wikipedia] Or even better, “Your G-spot is on the top wall of your vagina halfway between your vaginal opening and cervix. The spot should feel a little rough, almost like the surface of a walnut.” and “Have your guy insert his middle finger and curve it back towards himself once it’s inside you.”

    http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2126/how-to-find-your-g-spot/?slide=1

    Your description of it being “in the back” is confusing to me. Can you please cite any source that you agree with so I can have a better understanding of it? The only thing I know of that I would describe as being in the back (that is to say, deep inside), smooth and like a lump would be the cervix. But that would be too obvious for you to mistake it. I will search for it with your description in mind.

  13. Do you stay hard the whole time you perform oral sex on her, get back to fucking her if you feel you’re going limp, or just change condoms and get hard again after she cums?

    I just get hard again. Change condoms if needed (often not needed).

    Can you please cite any source that you agree with so I can have a better understanding of it? The only thing I know of that I would describe as being in the back (that is to say, deep inside), smooth and like a lump would be the cervix. But that would be too obvious for you to mistake it.

    I can’t site any source. All I know is that once I find that lump and start rubbing it, the woman freaks out at how good it feels, and eventually she cums.

  14. You do your very best to make them feel good. You’re right; some women just can’t cum no matter what you do. Make them feel amazing anyway.

  15. Man, the women must be really really hot to be motivated to do your best and give them pleasure, without gaining much in return. I wonder how you find them online 😛

  16. Without gaining much in return? They’re hot, I’m having sex with them, over and over again, over a period of years, while having sex with other women, and they know it and keep having sex with me anyway. That’s much in return, and well worth a few minutes of licking a clit.

     

  17. I am talking about anorgasmic women that probably don’t do their part to please you, because they don’t enjoy sex themselves.

  18. 1. I only have sex with women who enjoy sex. Any woman who doesn’t gets instantly hard nexted. (And this is very rare.)

    2. Anorgasmic women make me feel really, really good. Great sex, great blowjobs, etc.

  19. Ok one more question: Do anorgasmic women enjoy sex? It is self-explanatory that they never experience orgasm. Your two sentences contradict one another.

  20. Ok one more question: Do anorgasmic women enjoy sex?

    In my experience, yes. Massively.

    It is self-explanatory that they never experience orgasm. Your two sentences contradict one another.

    Completely incorrect. Women who can’t cum can’t cum because of historical trauma, or a mental block, or some other internal problem. Rarely does it mean they don’t like sex. If they didn’t enjoy sex, they wouldn’t be having sex with me (in most cases at least).

    100% of the women I’ve had sex with who could not cum loved sex, and were actually pissed they couldn’t cum.

  21. This is probably the only area that I feel is lacking in my current “relationship” situation that I would like to change.

    I fall into that category of women who have tremendously hard times reaching orgasm under normal circumstances. Sure, I’ve found shortcuts to help but it’s never a sure thing.

    Out of 3-5 sex sessions per week? I usually one cum once. And that’s generally me, going to town on my clit while we are having sex.

    After 7 months, he’s gone down on me twice. Made me cum of his own doing once.

    BUT…the sex is still enjoyable, and our relationship outside the bedroom is fantastic.

    I don’t see it as a major problem or turnoff though, because there ARE other men I’m seeing who fulfill different aspects of my sexual desires.

    SHOULD he be taking a more invested interest in my orgasms?

  22. If he wants to have sex with other women on the side, then yes.

    Beyond that, I can’t help you. You should go to this site to ask further questions:

    Girls With Game

  23. I see merit and insight in your article here yes, you should know your way around the female anatomy and make every effort to light her candle, however, you are giving such bad advice, I’ve got to step in to say Whoa Cowboy!
    Men, Alpha, Beta, and Charlies, whatever, all of us should never fall into the keeping score trap in the sack!
    A bad play is put expectations on yourself or her that you have to ALWAYS make her cum, or she has to ALWAYS cum.
    The best play for us Men is to leave our egos at the door of the bedroom, and just go with it.
     If she cums then Hooray she nutted, but if she don’t, she don’t.
    Men, should always approach sex with women as is if you’re the Wave and she’s the Surfer.
     
    The wave will crash, ((men will nut)) however, the surfer ((the woman)) may ride the wave to completion or not, either way she still likes to surf.

  24. all of us should never fall into the keeping score trap in the sack!

    I am not recommending this.

    A bad play is put expectations on yourself or her that you have to ALWAYS make her cum, or she has to ALWAYS cum.

    She should always cum unless you do your best and she absolutely can’t. Then it’s fine. Do your best to make her feel good.

    If she cums then Hooray she nutted, but if she don’t, she don’t.

    …and if she doesn’t then she may not be back if you want her in a long-term, low drama, nonmonogamous relationship.

  25. I appreciate your reply and think you are very pragmatic in your writing but is it wise to stress over the fickle female of our species orgasms, after all they can fake theirs and we can’t …I don’t think
    As in that movie “All of Me” with Steve Martin where his ex tells him; “And I faked all of those orgasms. Ah! Ah! Oh! Yes! Sound familiar?”
    And Steve Martin says; “Yeah? Well I faked mine too!”

    but again I always enjoy your blog, thanks for the reply.

  26. What do you do with submissive women that don’t want you to eat their pussy out (cause they find it gross) and just want you to cum and feel good and don’t seem to care about orgasming that much?  And then ask you to have sex after you’ve cum and are not that interested anymore.

  27. The G spot is located just before the cervix, located slightly above it (assuming she’s laying down). To me it feels like a soft fingertip, but it’s been described as a “little bean”.

    The diagrams say otherwise. Then who is true? Personally, I haven’t been able to find it with my current GF. She has no idea how it should feel should I find it, and neither do I.

  28. How do you know if she came or not? Some girls scream so loud, before it’s done. Some turn all read on their chest before it’s done.

    And most of my girls prefer not be asked, if they came.

    So how do I know they’re happy and I can relax?

    PS: this is my first time I’m contacting you BD. Thanks for sharing so many more reasons to be greatful to be alive. Cheerio to you life changer!

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