Online Dating: The More You Talk, The Less You Get Laid
One of my core pieces of advice for online game, one that has been massively field-tested over many years and gets me laid a lot, is to pitch the first date on the second or third exchange of emails, or at a minimum get her off the dating site ASAP and continue the conversation through some other means (Facebook, IM, texting, phone calls, etc).
Not surprisingly, this is resisted by a lot of guys.
Last week got four emails from guys all saying the same thing.
Yeah, I know you say to pitch the date by the third exchange, but when I do that they stop talking to me. Doesn’t it make more sense to establish some comfort and rapport before doing that?
No, it doesn’t. I’ll tell you why.
1. Yes, a lot of girls terminate the conversation when you do this. That sometimes happens to me too. However you’re not considering all the girls who terminate the conversation when you don’t do this. If you actually tracked it, you would find the number of women you talk to on a dating site who never meet up with you is going to be about the same whether you pitch the date quickly or later after some “conversation”.
Don’t believe me? Don’t take my word for it, experiment with it yourself and carefully track the results. You’ll see that’s exactly how it works. Bottom line: The vast majority of women who bail on you when you pitch the date up front were NEVER planning on actually meeting you in real life no matter how much they indicated otherwise. So save yourself the time and heartache and eliminate these women quickly so you can get to the ones who are serious about meeting you.
2. It is a universal maxim that the longer you spend time talking to a chick on a dating site the lower your odds become of ever actually fucking her. Again, if you don’t believe that, test it out, track the results, and you’ll see for yourself.
Are there unusual and rare exceptions to the rule? Of course there are, but unless you’re amazing at getting laid at online game, I wouldn’t mess around with the women who “might be exceptions” until you really know what you’re doing. Time is against you. That girl you’re emailing on the dating site has you as the absolute lowest priority in her life. Her job, her school, her FB, her mom, that other guy she started dating, her makeup, her ex-BF, her girlfriends, her dog, all of those things are more important than you.
Give her enough time (as in more than about 24 hours), and I promise you something will suddenly “come up” with one of those, and you’re gone. Don’t. Waste. Time.
3. Contrary to popular belief, online is not where you game chicks. Real life is where you game chicks. Never once have I gotten laid because of my amazing online gaming skills. I get laid because I’m good at scheduling dates and my real-life game is solid. Online game’s ONLY PURPOSE is to SCHEDULE DATES. Not game chicks, not “have fun”, not “meet new friends”, not “talk”. That’s why a lot of women are there. You are there to schedule dates. Otherwise get off the dating sites and go back to the clubs.
4. This might come as a shock to you, but a large percentage of women on dating sites, espeically the free ones, are not there to meet guys in real life or get laid. They’re there for social validation. You need to weed these chicks out as fast as you can. Talking with these kinds of chicks online forever will make you go grey. Or gay.
Open lots of chicks, and by the second or third exchange, pitch that date or get her on your Facebook / texting / IM / email / whatever. One or the other. If she balks at either, move on.